andy

hanpop written by han jisung

[starlostjisung]

you got me feeling star lost

baby, we’re the new romantics

the best people in life are free

fic recs

anons: 🌱🐇🍕🎹

please do not repost, translate or steal my works!! please indicate your age in your bio. nsfw space, minors dni!! my works are fictional, they do not represent any real person.

[starlostjisung]

andy is the next one cyber sex w jeongin 😊

he is the next one yes 😏

[starlostjisung]

in desperate need of writing the fluffiest and sappiest fic imaginable after all the smut in the live: unfiltered series. i am on it 🫡

[starlostjisung]

also!! i wanted to say that this is the first time i’ve done covers for my fics myself 🥹 they might not be anything too fancy, but i had so much fun making them and i definitely want to do it again sometime (just wait until you see chan’s one bc i’m absolutely obsessed with that one ahhhhhh)

[starlostjisung]

bro you are COOKING with these live unfiltered fics holy GOD im sending you love thank you for blessing my eyes

yay yay thank you my love!! we’re only halfway through so i hope you’re still ready for some more fire

[starlostjisung]

the roommate paradox

pairing: felix x reader

genre: smut

wc: 4.1k

warnings: unprotected sex; tits play; face sitting; squirting; praising; dirty talk; voyeurism; exhibitionism

summary: there’s a version of you that only exists online and there’s a version of felix that only exists behind a screen. neither of you has ever said anything about it but living together changes everything and in the end, something has to give

live: unfiltered series

the café is busy as you and your friend yuna sit by the window, your shopping bags piled around your table after spending almost the entire day wandering through the city.

“you definitely spent more than i did”, yuna says as she takes a sip of her coffee, eyeing the bags at your feet.

you laugh, “that’s not true”

“it is true”

“no, it’s not. it only looks like that because lingerie stores use these super tiny bags”

she raises an eyebrow, “that, and the fact that you bought like… ten sets”

“eight”

she gives you a pointed look.

“two of them will barely cover anything so i wouldn’t say i bought ten sets”, you say, trying to defend yourself.

she bursts into laughter, nearly spilling her drink, “you’re impossible, y/n”

“so i’ve been told”, you say laughing too.

unlike most people in your life, she knows exactly why you buy so much lingerie, she is one of the very few people who knows what you actually do for work. she knows you do livestreams, that you create adult content, and she knows how much planning actually goes into every single one of them. she has even helped you pick your new lingerie many times before, like she has done today. 

she reaches over and nudges one of the bags with her foot, “so… which one is for this week’s stream?”

you grin, “the black one”

“the one with the silver details?”, she asks you and you nod your head, “yes! i love that one. you’re gonna look fucking hot in it”

“it’s one of those that barely leaves anything to the imagination so… i fucking hope so”

she laughs again, “you will, i’m sure of it”

doing the livestreams is more work than people realise and sometimes it feels more like running a small business than anything else. but still, you genuinely enjoy it and yuna knows that.

“so”, she says, stirring the foam in her coffee, “how’s the roommate life going?”

your smile comes instantly, “it’s perfect, i genuinely love living with felix”

“i had a feeling you’d say that, he seems like a dream”

“he really is, it’s so easy living with him honestly”, you tell her, your smile growing bigger.

“you two don’t drive each other crazy?”

“not at all”

she leans back, smiling too, “no arguments? no passive-aggressive sticky notes?”

you shake your head, “nothing”

you think about felix and how living together has been effortless, not that it surprised you if you have to be honest.

“he’s one of my best friends and i think we just… we really understand each other”, you say, and then sigh, smiling into your coffee, “and i already know i’m gonna miss him when he leaves”

she tilts her head, “y/n, he hasn’t even moved out yet”

“i know”, you say, sighing again.

“how much longer?”

“i don’t know… i think two more months or something like that”

the thought leaves a strange heaviness in your chest. when felix’s apartment renovations are finished, he’ll move back home and then everything will go back to normal. your apartment will be quieter, your kitchen will probably be cleaner, but you will definitely be lonelier.

“i got used to having him around all the time”, you continue.

“i can tell”, she says, “you two really make it work”

“yeah, we do”, you say as you take a sip from your drink.

“and i guess that it really helps that you both work doing the same thing”

you stop drinking your coffee and look at her, “... what?”

she looks at you as if the answer is obvious, “i said it probably helps-”

“no”, you frown, “what do you mean “doing the same thing”?”

she stops stirring her drink, “what do you mean?”

you stare at each other for several seconds, none of you saying anything and then yuna laughs awkwardly.

“wait…”, she says as she studies your face, “you don’t know?”

your stomach tightens, “know what?”

her smile slowly disappears, “oh…”

a strange feeling settles over the table, “yuna, what are you talking about?”

she looks genuinely confused, “i thought you knew”

“knew what?”, you ask her again.

she lowers her voice, “felix”

“what about him?”

“he’s a camboy”

her words barely register in your brain, “he’s a what?”

“a camboy”

you look at her, unable to blink, you’re not sure if you’re even breathing at this point.

“i’m sorry?”

she frowns, “you seriously didn’t know?”

“no”, you say, shaking your head.

“he never told you?”

you shake your head again, “no”, then you let out a nervous laugh, “i think you’ve got the wrong person-”

“i don’t”, she cuts in.

“there has to be another one-”

“there isn’t”

“you are mistaken”

“i’m really not”, she says, her tone firmer now.

your heartbeat starts picking up, “felix?”

“the same felix who lives with you, yeah”

“my felix?”

she nods her head looking at you, “yes”

“no”

“yes”

“no”

she reaches for her phone, “y/n, i’ve watched his lives for a while”

your eyebrows shoot up, “you’ve watched them!?”

she shrugs, “yeah”

“you’ve… watched felix?”

“look i didn’t know him personally when i saw the first one”

“but yuna that was… years ago”

“i know”

“and you’ve watched his lives… all these years? and you never told me?”

“i honestly thought you already knew”, she says, shrugging her shoulders again.

“i didn’t”

“well, i can see that now”, she says, laughing softly at your face, “i just… i figured you were both keeping it private from everyone else”

“no”

“and you never talked about work together? what you do?”

“no”

she looks just as surprised as you feel, “i thought that was why living together worked so well for you both”

“what?”

“i don’t know, i just assumed that because you’re both in the same field…”

your heart pounds louder with every second, “no…”

she unlocks her phone, “it’s really him, y/n”

she scrolls for a moment before turning the screen towards you. your eyes immediately land on felix’s face and there is no mistaking him - the same freckles and the same blond hair, the same smile and the same eyes you like. 

it is him.

“i…”, you say but your voice fails.

“there are even a couple of streams filmed in your apartment”

you turn your head to look at her so fast it almost makes you dizzy.

“what?”

“yeah, i recognised your spare room”

you blink, everything feels a bit too much right now. then she shows you the thumbnail of another livestream and points at it.

“and i’m pretty sure that’s your sofa”, she says.

you feel your blood drain from your face.

“i… i assumed you knew”, you hear yuna speaking again, sounding almost guilty now, “i mean… you work doing the same thing and all that. i thought you… i don’t know, coordinated schedules or something”

you can’t answer, your thoughts are spinning so fast that none of them make sense anymore.

felix?

a camboy?

there is absolutely no way, and yet… the face on the screen belongs to your roommate, to one of your best friends, to the man who is currently living in your apartment with you. you keep staring at the screen, completely lost because you never, not even once, had considered this possibility, not in a million years.

you are pacing across the living room, back to the kitchen, then to the window and then back again, as your phone rests in your hand. every few minutes, you unlock it to see felix’s page still there, still the same profile picture, the same username, the same videos, everything is the same, obviously.

he had texted you some minutes ago to let you know he was coming home after spending the day with chan and jeongin. you keep pacing back and forth until you hear footsteps outside your apartment, then someone typing a code, and you know it’s him.

“there you are”, felix says cheerfully as soon as he opens the door, “i thought you were sleeping because you didn’t reply to my text”

he kicks off his shoes by the entrance and then walks towards you. without hesitation, he wraps both of his arms around your shoulders.

“hi”, he says.

you return his hug because there is nothing that you love more in this world than hugging felix, well, maybe his brownies.

“you’ve been waiting for me?”, he asks you.

“yeah”

“aww”, he says as he squeezes you once before letting go, “i knew you were gonna miss me today”

he drops his bag beside the sofa and then walks towards the kitchen, with you following him.

“you know how exhausting chan gets when he loses”

you can’t help smiling, “that means you won?”

“of course i did”, he says, “jeongin almost beat me but i’m invincible, sunshine, you know it”

you let out a small laugh and for a moment, everything almost feels normal again, like you didn’t find out hours ago that your roommate is a camboy.

“you hungry?”, he asks you.

“no”

“i could make ramen-”

“i’m okay”

he opens the fridge anyway, “you sure?”

“mmhm”

he grabs a bottle of water before he closes the fridge and turns towards you, “so… how was your day?”

there it is, the question, so ordinary and so innocent.

you can’t pretend anymore so you unlock your phone and without saying a word, you walk over to him, then turn the screen towards him. the moment his eyes land on his page, his expression freezes and his face pales. the room falls silent for the first time since he arrived and you’re the first to break it.

“care to explain?”

he doesn’t move, he simply stares at the screen and then at you.

“i…”, his voice is barely above a whisper, “how…”, he swallows, “how did you find this?”

“yuna”, you simply say.

he blinks, “yuna?”

“she thought i already knew”

he closes his eyes and then rubs the back of his neck, “i…”, another long pause, “i can explain”

“i’m listening”, you say.

he lets out a slow breath and his shoulders sag, then he looks at you.

“i know i should’ve told you, i really do. but i was… scared”, you stay quiet, letting him talk, “because a lot of people judge it, they judge me. they hear what i do and then suddenly i’m not… me anymore. they think they know everything about me and i…”, he pauses again, “i didn’t want that to happen with you. i’m sorry, y/n”

his apology is sincere, you can hear it in every word, and in the end, you really know what he’s trying to say, you’ve done the same with him, not telling him you’re a camgirl.

“i never did anything while you were home”, he continues, “i always made sure that you weren’t here when i did my lives. i know that doesn’t make it okay but i just…”, he sighs, “i don’t want you to think differently of me”

you step closer, “felix, it’s okay. i understand”

he blinks, “really?”

you hesitate for only a moment and then you smile, “felix… i’m a camgirl”

felix stares at you, “you’re… you-”

you nod your head, “yeah”

his mouth opens and closes a couple of times before he speaks again, “you?”

“me”

he laughs in complete disbelief, “oh my god… we’re both absolute idiots”, he says as he runs a hand through his hair and then he looks around the room as though seeing it for the first time, “so we’ve both been…”

“working from home”, you say, the two of you laughing together now.

the tension that has filled the apartment since you walked in that afternoon begins to ease, just enough for you to finally breathe. he looks at you for a long moment.

“so… what now?”

a smile slowly spreads across your face.

“well… seeing that we both do the same job…”

his eyebrows rise and he tilts his head, “what are you thinking?”

you hold his gaze for a beat and then, without another word, you untie the belt of your silk dressing gown and let the fabric fall to the floor. you’re wearing the black lingerie set you bought earlier today, its silver details catching the light from the room, making felix’s eyes widen in surprise, completely unable to look away from your almost naked body.

“we should do a livestream together”

felix leans close to his phone as he taps the screen to start the livestream and the moment you both go live, the chat explodes with the first comments.

maknaeontop: no fucking way they’re doing this together

edgequeen: this is the best day of my life

artprince69: she looks so fucking hot in that lingerie

midnightwolf: felix you lucky bastard

felix grins at the comments and then moves so his body presses down on top of yours as he settles between your spread legs.

“look at them already losing their minds over us”, he says, “i think this is the best idea you’ve ever had, sunshine”

your sweet and delicate friend disappears the moment his mouth crashes against yours in a hungry kiss, your tongues sliding together as his hands roam over your body. you feel the hard line of his cock straining against his boxers, grinding down against your cunt while the comments and donations keep pouring in.

felix deepens the kiss, sucking on your lower lip before he pulls back, “let’s give them a show, shall we?”

his fingers hook into the straps of your lingerie, slowly peeling it off your body. he takes your bra off first, exposing your breasts, then he tugs your panties down your legs and tosses them aside, leaving you completely naked now. you reach for his boxers next, letting his cock spring free as he kicks them off completely. his mouth finds yours again as his hips start moving, his cock sliding along your folds without entering you yet.

dirtypup: she’s soaked already

user69: this is insane

princessonline: i’m gonna come just from seeing them 

“fuck, you feel so good already”, felix says, his cock dragging up and down your cunt.

he kisses down your neck, biting at your collarbone before returning to your mouth. his tongue pushes deep as his hips grind harder, the head of his cock catching against your clit with every thrust. 

cumslut: fuck her already

edgequeen: they’re so into each other fuck this is so hot 

felix pulls back a bit, his eyes dark with lust as he looks down at you.

“hold your tits for me”, he says, his voice totally commanding, “push them together. i wanna fuck them while everyone watches”

you nod your head and then cup your breasts and squeeze them together for him. felix moves up your body, straddling your waist as he positions his cock between them. his hot and hard length slides between your breasts as he starts thrusting.

“that’s it”, he growls, watching his cock disappear between your breasts, “squeeze them tighter. fuck, your tits feel incredible around my cock”

quokkjone: fuck yessss

strongspear: she’s such a good girl for him

cumslut: felix is throbbing so hard

artprince69: about to bust already 

“look at all these people watching me use your tits”, felix pants, his hips snapping faster, “i bet all the boys are stroking their cocks thinking about doing this to you. but it’s me, i’m the one fucking these perfect tits right now”

the tip of his cock pokes out near your chin with every thrust and then, he leans forward a bit more so it brushes against your lips.

“open up. let me see you lick it”, he says.

you extend your tongue, licking the tip each time it emerges from between your breasts. felix moans loudly, his rhythm becoming erratic now.

“fuck, just like that. you’re being so good for me… you’re gonna make me come all over you”

edgequeen: this is the hottest thing i’ve ever seen

cumslut: he’s gonna explode 

“i-i’m close”, he says.

“come for me, felix”, you say as you feel the tip of his cock swelling between your breasts.

with a final deep thrust, felix throws his head back and groans as he comes, his cum splattering across your breasts and neck, some of it reaching your chin and mouth. he keeps thrusting through his climax, smearing his cum across your skin with his cock. 

felix slows his movements, breathing heavily as he looks down at the mess he’s made on your body. the comments and donations continue coming, everyone still losing their minds over what they just witnessed.

leethighs: she looks perfect like that

dirtypup: i just came from seeing that

he leans down, his lips finding yours as his tongue slides against yours while his cum still glistens across your skin. you continue making out until you push against his chest firmly, flipping him onto his back. felix lands on the bed with a surprised grunt, his eyes widening as you swing a leg over his body and straddle his hips.

“my turn now”, you tell him.

his cock twitches against your thigh, still half-hard and sensitive from his recent orgasm. you lean down and kiss him again, harder this time as your tongue claims his mouth and your hips roll forward against his body. your cunt drags along the length of his cock, smearing his own cum between your folds. 

felix gasps into the kiss, his body jerking beneath you.

“fuck- s-sensitive”, he whines against your lips, his hands gripping your waist, “give me a second, sunshine”

but you don’t. you keep grinding, sliding your cunt up and down his cock, feeling it twitch and throb under you as his whimpers grow louder.

maknaeontop: he’s whining already

edgequeen: she’s in charge now

cumslut: sit on it 

you kiss down his jaw and then you sit up straighter, shifting your body higher. your knees slide forward along the bed until you’re hovering just above his chest. felix’s eyes darken with realisation as you keep moving upwards, positioning yourself over his face.

“oh fuck, yes”, he says, his hands immediately gripping your thighs, “come here, sunshine”

he pulls you down hard, seating your cunt directly onto his mouth. his tongue lashes out immediately, licking through your folds. you moan loudly, gripping your breasts again, squeezing and pinching your nipples as you start to ride his face, grinding your clit against his tongue as he devours you.

“that’s it”, you say, your voice shaking with pleasure, “fuck, your mouth feels s-so good”

felix groans into you and then his tongue lowers and pushes inside you, fucking you shallowly before dragging up to circle your clit again. he sucks there hard, his lips sealed tight around it while his hands keep you pinned to his face. 

quokkjone: fucking perfect

midnightwolf: he’s going to town!!

strongspear: fuck i wish it was me

“good boy”, you say as you start rocking your hips faster, “yeah, just like that. d-don’t stop”

felix’s nose presses against your clit with every grind, his tongue relentless as he laps at your dripping entrance. he moves one of his hands, sliding it between your bodies until his fingers find your clit now. he rubs fast circles while his tongue continues to thrust inside you, your thighs starting to shake around his head.

“fuck- felix- i’m c-close”, you cry out, grinding harder, “don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop”

his fingers start working faster, his tongue flattening to let you ride it completely. your moans turn into broken screams as the pressure builds, your whole body tensing above him until you finally break. you scream his name as your cunt clenches and pulses, flooding his mouth and chin with your release. 

your thighs squeeze around his head while you grind through every wave of your orgasm, soaking his face. felix keeps licking, drinking you down as your body trembles above him. once he makes sure you’re alright, he pulls you down against his chest, your bodies slick with sweat and cum as you settle on top of him.

your lips find his again, slow and deep, your tongues sliding together while his hands roam freely over your curves. his palms trace the dip of your waist, slide up to cup your breasts and then they drift lower again to squeeze your ass, his fingers digging in possessively. you moan into the kiss, grinding lazily against his thigh again, feeling the wet mess between your legs smear across his skin.

princessonline: fuck they’re not done

leethighs: i already came twice fuck

felix moves you both carefully, guiding you forward until you’re positioned right in front of the camera on your hands and knees. he moves behind you, his breath hot against your spine as he leans in, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your back, his tongue flicking out to taste the salt on your skin. each kiss trails lower until his lips reach the small of your back, then he moves and grips your hips as he lines himself up.

you feel his cock press against your entrance and then he pushes in, stretching you open until he’s buried deep. a low groan rips from his throat as your walls clench around him.

“fuck, y/n, you’re so tight”, he growls, pulling back and thrusting forward again, his hips snapping against your ass with each thrust.

midnightwolf: fuck she’s taking him so well

cumslut: fuck her harder

quokkjone: i’m gonna come again fuckkk

felix’s hands grip your hips hard enough to leave marks on your skin and your breasts sway beneath you with every thrust. he leans over your back, one of his hands sliding up to grab your shoulder as he starts thrusting deeper, hitting your spot again and again.

“you feel so fucking good”, he pants against your ear, “taking my cock like you were made for it… f-fuck”

he pulls you upright, your back pressed against his chest now. his cock stays buried inside you as he wraps one arm around your waist. his other hand reaches up, his fingers turning your face towards him so your mouths meet in a desperate kiss. your tongues tangle together while his other hand slides down between your legs until his fingers find your clit, his cock still thrusting up into you. you moan loudly into his mouth, one of your hands reaching back to grip his hair.

“oh god… don’t stop”, you whimper against his lips, “please… right there- fuck, i’m g-gonna come”

his fingers start moving faster, pressing and circling while his hips continue moving, thrusting faster and harder now.

artprince69: do it faster she’s gonna come

maknaeontop: she’s gonna explode

you scream his name as you come hard, your juices gushing out around his cock and soaking his fingers and the sheets beneath you. your whole body shakes in his arms, your thigh trembling as you squirt, drenching everything. felix groans loudly, his own orgasm following yours as his cock pulses deep inside you while he keeps rubbing your clit.

dirtypup: holy fuck

quokkjone: she drenched him

edgequeen: i want him to fuck me too

cumslut: i came just from imagining i’m her oh my god

felix slows his movements, pressing kisses to your shoulder as you both try to catch your breath. he looks at the camera and then smirks and moves you enough so he can reach his phone to end the livestream, the screen going dark now. he carefully pulls out of you, lies you on the bed and turns you in his arms, checking your face.

“you okay?”, he asks you softly as he brushes your hair from your forehead, the sweet and tender felix you’re used to slowly coming back now. 

you nod your head, still trembling from the intensity but feeling perfect, better than you’ve ever felt before. 

he smiles at you and pulls you closer, “good. and, y/n, just so you know, i think we should do this again”

you snort and look at him, smiling softly, “what? another live?”

felix shakes his head, his eyes dark again with renewed hunger, “not a live, no. this, just you and me”

you look at him, feeling that same fire inside you again and then you both lean in at the same time, your mouths meeting in the middle. his hands slide over your body one more time, and you feel his cock already twitching back to life against your thigh, the night far from over.

a/n: and with our brownie boy, we're already halfway through wowowow 🥳 thank you all so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed this part too and get ready because our very own maknae is next 😎

the library

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dividers by my darling @lariesographic 🩷

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[starlostjisung]

live: unfiltered taglist 2: @brekkers-whore @captainchrisstan @ivydoesit23 @dennybennyy @tsumiyaa @baedreamverse @tboboee @cutiebooty123 @itsraininghyunebuckets @ughyeka @elmistay @boromirmylove @bee-gremlin @minterrlude @b-tangkitten @iambangchanswife @skzknife @kaylovesskz @greywritesthings @d4ily-s-nsh1ne @fan-of-a-lot-things @lvebyheehoon @lostinmymind-daydreaming @my-neurodivergent-world

[starlostjisung]

the roommate paradox

pairing: felix x reader

genre: smut

wc: 4.1k

warnings: unprotected sex; tits play; face sitting; squirting; praising; dirty talk; voyeurism; exhibitionism

summary: there’s a version of you that only exists online and there’s a version of felix that only exists behind a screen. neither of you has ever said anything about it but living together changes everything and in the end, something has to give

live: unfiltered series

the café is busy as you and your friend yuna sit by the window, your shopping bags piled around your table after spending almost the entire day wandering through the city.

“you definitely spent more than i did”, yuna says as she takes a sip of her coffee, eyeing the bags at your feet.

you laugh, “that’s not true”

“it is true”

“no, it’s not. it only looks like that because lingerie stores use these super tiny bags”

she raises an eyebrow, “that, and the fact that you bought like… ten sets”

“eight”

she gives you a pointed look.

“two of them will barely cover anything so i wouldn’t say i bought ten sets”, you say, trying to defend yourself.

she bursts into laughter, nearly spilling her drink, “you’re impossible, y/n”

“so i’ve been told”, you say laughing too.

unlike most people in your life, she knows exactly why you buy so much lingerie, she is one of the very few people who knows what you actually do for work. she knows you do livestreams, that you create adult content, and she knows how much planning actually goes into every single one of them. she has even helped you pick your new lingerie many times before, like she has done today. 

she reaches over and nudges one of the bags with her foot, “so… which one is for this week’s stream?”

you grin, “the black one”

“the one with the silver details?”, she asks you and you nod your head, “yes! i love that one. you’re gonna look fucking hot in it”

“it’s one of those that barely leaves anything to the imagination so… i fucking hope so”

she laughs again, “you will, i’m sure of it”

doing the livestreams is more work than people realise and sometimes it feels more like running a small business than anything else. but still, you genuinely enjoy it and yuna knows that.

“so”, she says, stirring the foam in her coffee, “how’s the roommate life going?”

your smile comes instantly, “it’s perfect, i genuinely love living with felix”

“i had a feeling you’d say that, he seems like a dream”

“he really is, it’s so easy living with him honestly”, you tell her, your smile growing bigger.

“you two don’t drive each other crazy?”

“not at all”

she leans back, smiling too, “no arguments? no passive-aggressive sticky notes?”

you shake your head, “nothing”

you think about felix and how living together has been effortless, not that it surprised you if you have to be honest.

“he’s one of my best friends and i think we just… we really understand each other”, you say, and then sigh, smiling into your coffee, “and i already know i’m gonna miss him when he leaves”

she tilts her head, “y/n, he hasn’t even moved out yet”

“i know”, you say, sighing again.

“how much longer?”

“i don’t know… i think two more months or something like that”

the thought leaves a strange heaviness in your chest. when felix’s apartment renovations are finished, he’ll move back home and then everything will go back to normal. your apartment will be quieter, your kitchen will probably be cleaner, but you will definitely be lonelier.

“i got used to having him around all the time”, you continue.

“i can tell”, she says, “you two really make it work”

“yeah, we do”, you say as you take a sip from your drink.

“and i guess that it really helps that you both work doing the same thing”

you stop drinking your coffee and look at her, “... what?”

she looks at you as if the answer is obvious, “i said it probably helps-”

“no”, you frown, “what do you mean “doing the same thing”?”

she stops stirring her drink, “what do you mean?”

you stare at each other for several seconds, none of you saying anything and then yuna laughs awkwardly.

“wait…”, she says as she studies your face, “you don’t know?”

your stomach tightens, “know what?”

her smile slowly disappears, “oh…”

a strange feeling settles over the table, “yuna, what are you talking about?”

she looks genuinely confused, “i thought you knew”

“knew what?”, you ask her again.

she lowers her voice, “felix”

“what about him?”

“he’s a camboy”

her words barely register in your brain, “he’s a what?”

“a camboy”

you look at her, unable to blink, you’re not sure if you’re even breathing at this point.

“i’m sorry?”

she frowns, “you seriously didn’t know?”

“no”, you say, shaking your head.

“he never told you?”

you shake your head again, “no”, then you let out a nervous laugh, “i think you’ve got the wrong person-”

“i don’t”, she cuts in.

“there has to be another one-”

“there isn’t”

“you are mistaken”

“i’m really not”, she says, her tone firmer now.

your heartbeat starts picking up, “felix?”

“the same felix who lives with you, yeah”

“my felix?”

she nods her head looking at you, “yes”

“no”

“yes”

“no”

she reaches for her phone, “y/n, i’ve watched his lives for a while”

your eyebrows shoot up, “you’ve watched them!?”

she shrugs, “yeah”

“you’ve… watched felix?”

“look i didn’t know him personally when i saw the first one”

“but yuna that was… years ago”

“i know”

“and you’ve watched his lives… all these years? and you never told me?”

“i honestly thought you already knew”, she says, shrugging her shoulders again.

“i didn’t”

“well, i can see that now”, she says, laughing softly at your face, “i just… i figured you were both keeping it private from everyone else”

“no”

“and you never talked about work together? what you do?”

“no”

she looks just as surprised as you feel, “i thought that was why living together worked so well for you both”

“what?”

“i don’t know, i just assumed that because you’re both in the same field…”

your heart pounds louder with every second, “no…”

she unlocks her phone, “it’s really him, y/n”

she scrolls for a moment before turning the screen towards you. your eyes immediately land on felix’s face and there is no mistaking him - the same freckles and the same blond hair, the same smile and the same eyes you like. 

it is him.

“i…”, you say but your voice fails.

“there are even a couple of streams filmed in your apartment”

you turn your head to look at her so fast it almost makes you dizzy.

“what?”

“yeah, i recognised your spare room”

you blink, everything feels a bit too much right now. then she shows you the thumbnail of another livestream and points at it.

“and i’m pretty sure that’s your sofa”, she says.

you feel your blood drain from your face.

“i… i assumed you knew”, you hear yuna speaking again, sounding almost guilty now, “i mean… you work doing the same thing and all that. i thought you… i don’t know, coordinated schedules or something”

you can’t answer, your thoughts are spinning so fast that none of them make sense anymore.

felix?

a camboy?

there is absolutely no way, and yet… the face on the screen belongs to your roommate, to one of your best friends, to the man who is currently living in your apartment with you. you keep staring at the screen, completely lost because you never, not even once, had considered this possibility, not in a million years.

you are pacing across the living room, back to the kitchen, then to the window and then back again, as your phone rests in your hand. every few minutes, you unlock it to see felix’s page still there, still the same profile picture, the same username, the same videos, everything is the same, obviously.

he had texted you some minutes ago to let you know he was coming home after spending the day with chan and jeongin. you keep pacing back and forth until you hear footsteps outside your apartment, then someone typing a code, and you know it’s him.

“there you are”, felix says cheerfully as soon as he opens the door, “i thought you were sleeping because you didn’t reply to my text”

he kicks off his shoes by the entrance and then walks towards you. without hesitation, he wraps both of his arms around your shoulders.

“hi”, he says.

you return his hug because there is nothing that you love more in this world than hugging felix, well, maybe his brownies.

“you’ve been waiting for me?”, he asks you.

“yeah”

“aww”, he says as he squeezes you once before letting go, “i knew you were gonna miss me today”

he drops his bag beside the sofa and then walks towards the kitchen, with you following him.

“you know how exhausting chan gets when he loses”

you can’t help smiling, “that means you won?”

“of course i did”, he says, “jeongin almost beat me but i’m invincible, sunshine, you know it”

you let out a small laugh and for a moment, everything almost feels normal again, like you didn’t find out hours ago that your roommate is a camboy.

“you hungry?”, he asks you.

“no”

“i could make ramen-”

“i’m okay”

he opens the fridge anyway, “you sure?”

“mmhm”

he grabs a bottle of water before he closes the fridge and turns towards you, “so… how was your day?”

there it is, the question, so ordinary and so innocent.

you can’t pretend anymore so you unlock your phone and without saying a word, you walk over to him, then turn the screen towards him. the moment his eyes land on his page, his expression freezes and his face pales. the room falls silent for the first time since he arrived and you’re the first to break it.

“care to explain?”

he doesn’t move, he simply stares at the screen and then at you.

“i…”, his voice is barely above a whisper, “how…”, he swallows, “how did you find this?”

“yuna”, you simply say.

he blinks, “yuna?”

“she thought i already knew”

he closes his eyes and then rubs the back of his neck, “i…”, another long pause, “i can explain”

“i’m listening”, you say.

he lets out a slow breath and his shoulders sag, then he looks at you.

“i know i should’ve told you, i really do. but i was… scared”, you stay quiet, letting him talk, “because a lot of people judge it, they judge me. they hear what i do and then suddenly i’m not… me anymore. they think they know everything about me and i…”, he pauses again, “i didn’t want that to happen with you. i’m sorry, y/n”

his apology is sincere, you can hear it in every word, and in the end, you really know what he’s trying to say, you’ve done the same with him, not telling him you’re a camgirl.

“i never did anything while you were home”, he continues, “i always made sure that you weren’t here when i did my lives. i know that doesn’t make it okay but i just…”, he sighs, “i don’t want you to think differently of me”

you step closer, “felix, it’s okay. i understand”

he blinks, “really?”

you hesitate for only a moment and then you smile, “felix… i’m a camgirl”

felix stares at you, “you’re… you-”

you nod your head, “yeah”

his mouth opens and closes a couple of times before he speaks again, “you?”

“me”

he laughs in complete disbelief, “oh my god… we’re both absolute idiots”, he says as he runs a hand through his hair and then he looks around the room as though seeing it for the first time, “so we’ve both been…”

“working from home”, you say, the two of you laughing together now.

the tension that has filled the apartment since you walked in that afternoon begins to ease, just enough for you to finally breathe. he looks at you for a long moment.

“so… what now?”

a smile slowly spreads across your face.

“well… seeing that we both do the same job…”

his eyebrows rise and he tilts his head, “what are you thinking?”

you hold his gaze for a beat and then, without another word, you untie the belt of your silk dressing gown and let the fabric fall to the floor. you’re wearing the black lingerie set you bought earlier today, its silver details catching the light from the room, making felix’s eyes widen in surprise, completely unable to look away from your almost naked body.

“we should do a livestream together”

felix leans close to his phone as he taps the screen to start the livestream and the moment you both go live, the chat explodes with the first comments.

maknaeontop: no fucking way they’re doing this together

edgequeen: this is the best day of my life

artprince69: she looks so fucking hot in that lingerie

midnightwolf: felix you lucky bastard

felix grins at the comments and then moves so his body presses down on top of yours as he settles between your spread legs.

“look at them already losing their minds over us”, he says, “i think this is the best idea you’ve ever had, sunshine”

your sweet and delicate friend disappears the moment his mouth crashes against yours in a hungry kiss, your tongues sliding together as his hands roam over your body. you feel the hard line of his cock straining against his boxers, grinding down against your cunt while the comments and donations keep pouring in.

felix deepens the kiss, sucking on your lower lip before he pulls back, “let’s give them a show, shall we?”

his fingers hook into the straps of your lingerie, slowly peeling it off your body. he takes your bra off first, exposing your breasts, then he tugs your panties down your legs and tosses them aside, leaving you completely naked now. you reach for his boxers next, letting his cock spring free as he kicks them off completely. his mouth finds yours again as his hips start moving, his cock sliding along your folds without entering you yet.

dirtypup: she’s soaked already

user69: this is insane

princessonline: i’m gonna come just from seeing them 

“fuck, you feel so good already”, felix says, his cock dragging up and down your cunt.

he kisses down your neck, biting at your collarbone before returning to your mouth. his tongue pushes deep as his hips grind harder, the head of his cock catching against your clit with every thrust. 

cumslut: fuck her already

edgequeen: they’re so into each other fuck this is so hot 

felix pulls back a bit, his eyes dark with lust as he looks down at you.

“hold your tits for me”, he says, his voice totally commanding, “push them together. i wanna fuck them while everyone watches”

you nod your head and then cup your breasts and squeeze them together for him. felix moves up your body, straddling your waist as he positions his cock between them. his hot and hard length slides between your breasts as he starts thrusting.

“that’s it”, he growls, watching his cock disappear between your breasts, “squeeze them tighter. fuck, your tits feel incredible around my cock”

quokkjone: fuck yessss

strongspear: she’s such a good girl for him

cumslut: felix is throbbing so hard

artprince69: about to bust already 

“look at all these people watching me use your tits”, felix pants, his hips snapping faster, “i bet all the boys are stroking their cocks thinking about doing this to you. but it’s me, i’m the one fucking these perfect tits right now”

the tip of his cock pokes out near your chin with every thrust and then, he leans forward a bit more so it brushes against your lips.

“open up. let me see you lick it”, he says.

you extend your tongue, licking the tip each time it emerges from between your breasts. felix moans loudly, his rhythm becoming erratic now.

“fuck, just like that. you’re being so good for me… you’re gonna make me come all over you”

edgequeen: this is the hottest thing i’ve ever seen

cumslut: he’s gonna explode 

“i-i’m close”, he says.

“come for me, felix”, you say as you feel the tip of his cock swelling between your breasts.

with a final deep thrust, felix throws his head back and groans as he comes, his cum splattering across your breasts and neck, some of it reaching your chin and mouth. he keeps thrusting through his climax, smearing his cum across your skin with his cock. 

felix slows his movements, breathing heavily as he looks down at the mess he’s made on your body. the comments and donations continue coming, everyone still losing their minds over what they just witnessed.

leethighs: she looks perfect like that

dirtypup: i just came from seeing that

he leans down, his lips finding yours as his tongue slides against yours while his cum still glistens across your skin. you continue making out until you push against his chest firmly, flipping him onto his back. felix lands on the bed with a surprised grunt, his eyes widening as you swing a leg over his body and straddle his hips.

“my turn now”, you tell him.

his cock twitches against your thigh, still half-hard and sensitive from his recent orgasm. you lean down and kiss him again, harder this time as your tongue claims his mouth and your hips roll forward against his body. your cunt drags along the length of his cock, smearing his own cum between your folds. 

felix gasps into the kiss, his body jerking beneath you.

“fuck- s-sensitive”, he whines against your lips, his hands gripping your waist, “give me a second, sunshine”

but you don’t. you keep grinding, sliding your cunt up and down his cock, feeling it twitch and throb under you as his whimpers grow louder.

maknaeontop: he’s whining already

edgequeen: she’s in charge now

cumslut: sit on it 

you kiss down his jaw and then you sit up straighter, shifting your body higher. your knees slide forward along the bed until you’re hovering just above his chest. felix’s eyes darken with realisation as you keep moving upwards, positioning yourself over his face.

“oh fuck, yes”, he says, his hands immediately gripping your thighs, “come here, sunshine”

he pulls you down hard, seating your cunt directly onto his mouth. his tongue lashes out immediately, licking through your folds. you moan loudly, gripping your breasts again, squeezing and pinching your nipples as you start to ride his face, grinding your clit against his tongue as he devours you.

“that’s it”, you say, your voice shaking with pleasure, “fuck, your mouth feels s-so good”

felix groans into you and then his tongue lowers and pushes inside you, fucking you shallowly before dragging up to circle your clit again. he sucks there hard, his lips sealed tight around it while his hands keep you pinned to his face. 

quokkjone: fucking perfect

midnightwolf: he’s going to town!!

strongspear: fuck i wish it was me

“good boy”, you say as you start rocking your hips faster, “yeah, just like that. d-don’t stop”

felix’s nose presses against your clit with every grind, his tongue relentless as he laps at your dripping entrance. he moves one of his hands, sliding it between your bodies until his fingers find your clit now. he rubs fast circles while his tongue continues to thrust inside you, your thighs starting to shake around his head.

“fuck- felix- i’m c-close”, you cry out, grinding harder, “don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop”

his fingers start working faster, his tongue flattening to let you ride it completely. your moans turn into broken screams as the pressure builds, your whole body tensing above him until you finally break. you scream his name as your cunt clenches and pulses, flooding his mouth and chin with your release. 

your thighs squeeze around his head while you grind through every wave of your orgasm, soaking his face. felix keeps licking, drinking you down as your body trembles above him. once he makes sure you’re alright, he pulls you down against his chest, your bodies slick with sweat and cum as you settle on top of him.

your lips find his again, slow and deep, your tongues sliding together while his hands roam freely over your curves. his palms trace the dip of your waist, slide up to cup your breasts and then they drift lower again to squeeze your ass, his fingers digging in possessively. you moan into the kiss, grinding lazily against his thigh again, feeling the wet mess between your legs smear across his skin.

princessonline: fuck they’re not done

leethighs: i already came twice fuck

felix moves you both carefully, guiding you forward until you’re positioned right in front of the camera on your hands and knees. he moves behind you, his breath hot against your spine as he leans in, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your back, his tongue flicking out to taste the salt on your skin. each kiss trails lower until his lips reach the small of your back, then he moves and grips your hips as he lines himself up.

you feel his cock press against your entrance and then he pushes in, stretching you open until he’s buried deep. a low groan rips from his throat as your walls clench around him.

“fuck, y/n, you’re so tight”, he growls, pulling back and thrusting forward again, his hips snapping against your ass with each thrust.

midnightwolf: fuck she’s taking him so well

cumslut: fuck her harder

quokkjone: i’m gonna come again fuckkk

felix’s hands grip your hips hard enough to leave marks on your skin and your breasts sway beneath you with every thrust. he leans over your back, one of his hands sliding up to grab your shoulder as he starts thrusting deeper, hitting your spot again and again.

“you feel so fucking good”, he pants against your ear, “taking my cock like you were made for it… f-fuck”

he pulls you upright, your back pressed against his chest now. his cock stays buried inside you as he wraps one arm around your waist. his other hand reaches up, his fingers turning your face towards him so your mouths meet in a desperate kiss. your tongues tangle together while his other hand slides down between your legs until his fingers find your clit, his cock still thrusting up into you. you moan loudly into his mouth, one of your hands reaching back to grip his hair.

“oh god… don’t stop”, you whimper against his lips, “please… right there- fuck, i’m g-gonna come”

his fingers start moving faster, pressing and circling while his hips continue moving, thrusting faster and harder now.

artprince69: do it faster she’s gonna come

maknaeontop: she’s gonna explode

you scream his name as you come hard, your juices gushing out around his cock and soaking his fingers and the sheets beneath you. your whole body shakes in his arms, your thigh trembling as you squirt, drenching everything. felix groans loudly, his own orgasm following yours as his cock pulses deep inside you while he keeps rubbing your clit.

dirtypup: holy fuck

quokkjone: she drenched him

edgequeen: i want him to fuck me too

cumslut: i came just from imagining i’m her oh my god

felix slows his movements, pressing kisses to your shoulder as you both try to catch your breath. he looks at the camera and then smirks and moves you enough so he can reach his phone to end the livestream, the screen going dark now. he carefully pulls out of you, lies you on the bed and turns you in his arms, checking your face.

“you okay?”, he asks you softly as he brushes your hair from your forehead, the sweet and tender felix you’re used to slowly coming back now. 

you nod your head, still trembling from the intensity but feeling perfect, better than you’ve ever felt before. 

he smiles at you and pulls you closer, “good. and, y/n, just so you know, i think we should do this again”

you snort and look at him, smiling softly, “what? another live?”

felix shakes his head, his eyes dark again with renewed hunger, “not a live, no. this, just you and me”

you look at him, feeling that same fire inside you again and then you both lean in at the same time, your mouths meeting in the middle. his hands slide over your body one more time, and you feel his cock already twitching back to life against your thigh, the night far from over.

a/n: and with our brownie boy, we're already halfway through wowowow 🥳 thank you all so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed this part too and get ready because our very own maknae is next 😎

the library

likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🌟

dividers by my darling @lariesographic 🩷

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[starlostjisung]

live: unfiltered taglist: @larahnck @hnsbxby @sturnsxbitvh @pinkflowerdream @lilike07 @allthistimeiswaitingforyou @chocolatepainterbear @daphnnie @strollingdaisies @secretskeletonveil @luvlittleina @aiyanotfound @newlifepaths @majessticallyme @jinx4karma @nanaluizam @itskarito @a2dkive @0felixsfreckles0 @nrdoingthings @lesherafim @quaxing-lour @radiantstarz @beautifultrashwombat @donutjikes @angellixmar @jup-exe @iluvgnabnahc @ilovetoreadfanficslol @lilmissfergy @strawberrycake14 @miyahluvsjjk @fe626282 @deffnot-ramiyah @skzlinasposts @witchypolekat @confusedabouteverythings @redemptions @cashtonsbetch @sidsgifts @sparklybunnygirl @spicxbnny @foreveralistener1 @skzophreniic @heartuh-beatuh @mistyfalls5734 @inlovewithstraykids @kaylovesskz @ebnabi @fanficwriter5

[starlostjisung]

the roommate paradox

pairing: felix x reader

genre: smut

wc: 4.1k

warnings: unprotected sex; tits play; face sitting; squirting; praising; dirty talk; voyeurism; exhibitionism

summary: there’s a version of you that only exists online and there’s a version of felix that only exists behind a screen. neither of you has ever said anything about it but living together changes everything and in the end, something has to give

live: unfiltered series

the café is busy as you and your friend yuna sit by the window, your shopping bags piled around your table after spending almost the entire day wandering through the city.

“you definitely spent more than i did”, yuna says as she takes a sip of her coffee, eyeing the bags at your feet.

you laugh, “that’s not true”

“it is true”

“no, it’s not. it only looks like that because lingerie stores use these super tiny bags”

she raises an eyebrow, “that, and the fact that you bought like… ten sets”

“eight”

she gives you a pointed look.

“two of them will barely cover anything so i wouldn’t say i bought ten sets”, you say, trying to defend yourself.

she bursts into laughter, nearly spilling her drink, “you’re impossible, y/n”

“so i’ve been told”, you say laughing too.

unlike most people in your life, she knows exactly why you buy so much lingerie, she is one of the very few people who knows what you actually do for work. she knows you do livestreams, that you create adult content, and she knows how much planning actually goes into every single one of them. she has even helped you pick your new lingerie many times before, like she has done today. 

she reaches over and nudges one of the bags with her foot, “so… which one is for this week’s stream?”

you grin, “the black one”

“the one with the silver details?”, she asks you and you nod your head, “yes! i love that one. you’re gonna look fucking hot in it”

“it’s one of those that barely leaves anything to the imagination so… i fucking hope so”

she laughs again, “you will, i’m sure of it”

doing the livestreams is more work than people realise and sometimes it feels more like running a small business than anything else. but still, you genuinely enjoy it and yuna knows that.

“so”, she says, stirring the foam in her coffee, “how’s the roommate life going?”

your smile comes instantly, “it’s perfect, i genuinely love living with felix”

“i had a feeling you’d say that, he seems like a dream”

“he really is, it’s so easy living with him honestly”, you tell her, your smile growing bigger.

“you two don’t drive each other crazy?”

“not at all”

she leans back, smiling too, “no arguments? no passive-aggressive sticky notes?”

you shake your head, “nothing”

you think about felix and how living together has been effortless, not that it surprised you if you have to be honest.

“he’s one of my best friends and i think we just… we really understand each other”, you say, and then sigh, smiling into your coffee, “and i already know i’m gonna miss him when he leaves”

she tilts her head, “y/n, he hasn’t even moved out yet”

“i know”, you say, sighing again.

“how much longer?”

“i don’t know… i think two more months or something like that”

the thought leaves a strange heaviness in your chest. when felix’s apartment renovations are finished, he’ll move back home and then everything will go back to normal. your apartment will be quieter, your kitchen will probably be cleaner, but you will definitely be lonelier.

“i got used to having him around all the time”, you continue.

“i can tell”, she says, “you two really make it work”

“yeah, we do”, you say as you take a sip from your drink.

“and i guess that it really helps that you both work doing the same thing”

you stop drinking your coffee and look at her, “... what?”

she looks at you as if the answer is obvious, “i said it probably helps-”

“no”, you frown, “what do you mean “doing the same thing”?”

she stops stirring her drink, “what do you mean?”

you stare at each other for several seconds, none of you saying anything and then yuna laughs awkwardly.

“wait…”, she says as she studies your face, “you don’t know?”

your stomach tightens, “know what?”

her smile slowly disappears, “oh…”

a strange feeling settles over the table, “yuna, what are you talking about?”

she looks genuinely confused, “i thought you knew”

“knew what?”, you ask her again.

she lowers her voice, “felix”

“what about him?”

“he’s a camboy”

her words barely register in your brain, “he’s a what?”

“a camboy”

you look at her, unable to blink, you’re not sure if you’re even breathing at this point.

“i’m sorry?”

she frowns, “you seriously didn’t know?”

“no”, you say, shaking your head.

“he never told you?”

you shake your head again, “no”, then you let out a nervous laugh, “i think you’ve got the wrong person-”

“i don’t”, she cuts in.

“there has to be another one-”

“there isn’t”

“you are mistaken”

“i’m really not”, she says, her tone firmer now.

your heartbeat starts picking up, “felix?”

“the same felix who lives with you, yeah”

“my felix?”

she nods her head looking at you, “yes”

“no”

“yes”

“no”

she reaches for her phone, “y/n, i’ve watched his lives for a while”

your eyebrows shoot up, “you’ve watched them!?”

she shrugs, “yeah”

“you’ve… watched felix?”

“look i didn’t know him personally when i saw the first one”

“but yuna that was… years ago”

“i know”

“and you’ve watched his lives… all these years? and you never told me?”

“i honestly thought you already knew”, she says, shrugging her shoulders again.

“i didn’t”

“well, i can see that now”, she says, laughing softly at your face, “i just… i figured you were both keeping it private from everyone else”

“no”

“and you never talked about work together? what you do?”

“no”

she looks just as surprised as you feel, “i thought that was why living together worked so well for you both”

“what?”

“i don’t know, i just assumed that because you’re both in the same field…”

your heart pounds louder with every second, “no…”

she unlocks her phone, “it’s really him, y/n”

she scrolls for a moment before turning the screen towards you. your eyes immediately land on felix’s face and there is no mistaking him - the same freckles and the same blond hair, the same smile and the same eyes you like. 

it is him.

“i…”, you say but your voice fails.

“there are even a couple of streams filmed in your apartment”

you turn your head to look at her so fast it almost makes you dizzy.

“what?”

“yeah, i recognised your spare room”

you blink, everything feels a bit too much right now. then she shows you the thumbnail of another livestream and points at it.

“and i’m pretty sure that’s your sofa”, she says.

you feel your blood drain from your face.

“i… i assumed you knew”, you hear yuna speaking again, sounding almost guilty now, “i mean… you work doing the same thing and all that. i thought you… i don’t know, coordinated schedules or something”

you can’t answer, your thoughts are spinning so fast that none of them make sense anymore.

felix?

a camboy?

there is absolutely no way, and yet… the face on the screen belongs to your roommate, to one of your best friends, to the man who is currently living in your apartment with you. you keep staring at the screen, completely lost because you never, not even once, had considered this possibility, not in a million years.

you are pacing across the living room, back to the kitchen, then to the window and then back again, as your phone rests in your hand. every few minutes, you unlock it to see felix’s page still there, still the same profile picture, the same username, the same videos, everything is the same, obviously.

he had texted you some minutes ago to let you know he was coming home after spending the day with chan and jeongin. you keep pacing back and forth until you hear footsteps outside your apartment, then someone typing a code, and you know it’s him.

“there you are”, felix says cheerfully as soon as he opens the door, “i thought you were sleeping because you didn’t reply to my text”

he kicks off his shoes by the entrance and then walks towards you. without hesitation, he wraps both of his arms around your shoulders.

“hi”, he says.

you return his hug because there is nothing that you love more in this world than hugging felix, well, maybe his brownies.

“you’ve been waiting for me?”, he asks you.

“yeah”

“aww”, he says as he squeezes you once before letting go, “i knew you were gonna miss me today”

he drops his bag beside the sofa and then walks towards the kitchen, with you following him.

“you know how exhausting chan gets when he loses”

you can’t help smiling, “that means you won?”

“of course i did”, he says, “jeongin almost beat me but i’m invincible, sunshine, you know it”

you let out a small laugh and for a moment, everything almost feels normal again, like you didn’t find out hours ago that your roommate is a camboy.

“you hungry?”, he asks you.

“no”

“i could make ramen-”

“i’m okay”

he opens the fridge anyway, “you sure?”

“mmhm”

he grabs a bottle of water before he closes the fridge and turns towards you, “so… how was your day?”

there it is, the question, so ordinary and so innocent.

you can’t pretend anymore so you unlock your phone and without saying a word, you walk over to him, then turn the screen towards him. the moment his eyes land on his page, his expression freezes and his face pales. the room falls silent for the first time since he arrived and you’re the first to break it.

“care to explain?”

he doesn’t move, he simply stares at the screen and then at you.

“i…”, his voice is barely above a whisper, “how…”, he swallows, “how did you find this?”

“yuna”, you simply say.

he blinks, “yuna?”

“she thought i already knew”

he closes his eyes and then rubs the back of his neck, “i…”, another long pause, “i can explain”

“i’m listening”, you say.

he lets out a slow breath and his shoulders sag, then he looks at you.

“i know i should’ve told you, i really do. but i was… scared”, you stay quiet, letting him talk, “because a lot of people judge it, they judge me. they hear what i do and then suddenly i’m not… me anymore. they think they know everything about me and i…”, he pauses again, “i didn’t want that to happen with you. i’m sorry, y/n”

his apology is sincere, you can hear it in every word, and in the end, you really know what he’s trying to say, you’ve done the same with him, not telling him you’re a camgirl.

“i never did anything while you were home”, he continues, “i always made sure that you weren’t here when i did my lives. i know that doesn’t make it okay but i just…”, he sighs, “i don’t want you to think differently of me”

you step closer, “felix, it’s okay. i understand”

he blinks, “really?”

you hesitate for only a moment and then you smile, “felix… i’m a camgirl”

felix stares at you, “you’re… you-”

you nod your head, “yeah”

his mouth opens and closes a couple of times before he speaks again, “you?”

“me”

he laughs in complete disbelief, “oh my god… we’re both absolute idiots”, he says as he runs a hand through his hair and then he looks around the room as though seeing it for the first time, “so we’ve both been…”

“working from home”, you say, the two of you laughing together now.

the tension that has filled the apartment since you walked in that afternoon begins to ease, just enough for you to finally breathe. he looks at you for a long moment.

“so… what now?”

a smile slowly spreads across your face.

“well… seeing that we both do the same job…”

his eyebrows rise and he tilts his head, “what are you thinking?”

you hold his gaze for a beat and then, without another word, you untie the belt of your silk dressing gown and let the fabric fall to the floor. you’re wearing the black lingerie set you bought earlier today, its silver details catching the light from the room, making felix’s eyes widen in surprise, completely unable to look away from your almost naked body.

“we should do a livestream together”

felix leans close to his phone as he taps the screen to start the livestream and the moment you both go live, the chat explodes with the first comments.

maknaeontop: no fucking way they’re doing this together

edgequeen: this is the best day of my life

artprince69: she looks so fucking hot in that lingerie

midnightwolf: felix you lucky bastard

felix grins at the comments and then moves so his body presses down on top of yours as he settles between your spread legs.

“look at them already losing their minds over us”, he says, “i think this is the best idea you’ve ever had, sunshine”

your sweet and delicate friend disappears the moment his mouth crashes against yours in a hungry kiss, your tongues sliding together as his hands roam over your body. you feel the hard line of his cock straining against his boxers, grinding down against your cunt while the comments and donations keep pouring in.

felix deepens the kiss, sucking on your lower lip before he pulls back, “let’s give them a show, shall we?”

his fingers hook into the straps of your lingerie, slowly peeling it off your body. he takes your bra off first, exposing your breasts, then he tugs your panties down your legs and tosses them aside, leaving you completely naked now. you reach for his boxers next, letting his cock spring free as he kicks them off completely. his mouth finds yours again as his hips start moving, his cock sliding along your folds without entering you yet.

dirtypup: she’s soaked already

user69: this is insane

princessonline: i’m gonna come just from seeing them 

“fuck, you feel so good already”, felix says, his cock dragging up and down your cunt.

he kisses down your neck, biting at your collarbone before returning to your mouth. his tongue pushes deep as his hips grind harder, the head of his cock catching against your clit with every thrust. 

cumslut: fuck her already

edgequeen: they’re so into each other fuck this is so hot 

felix pulls back a bit, his eyes dark with lust as he looks down at you.

“hold your tits for me”, he says, his voice totally commanding, “push them together. i wanna fuck them while everyone watches”

you nod your head and then cup your breasts and squeeze them together for him. felix moves up your body, straddling your waist as he positions his cock between them. his hot and hard length slides between your breasts as he starts thrusting.

“that’s it”, he growls, watching his cock disappear between your breasts, “squeeze them tighter. fuck, your tits feel incredible around my cock”

quokkjone: fuck yessss

strongspear: she’s such a good girl for him

cumslut: felix is throbbing so hard

artprince69: about to bust already 

“look at all these people watching me use your tits”, felix pants, his hips snapping faster, “i bet all the boys are stroking their cocks thinking about doing this to you. but it’s me, i’m the one fucking these perfect tits right now”

the tip of his cock pokes out near your chin with every thrust and then, he leans forward a bit more so it brushes against your lips.

“open up. let me see you lick it”, he says.

you extend your tongue, licking the tip each time it emerges from between your breasts. felix moans loudly, his rhythm becoming erratic now.

“fuck, just like that. you’re being so good for me… you’re gonna make me come all over you”

edgequeen: this is the hottest thing i’ve ever seen

cumslut: he’s gonna explode 

“i-i’m close”, he says.

“come for me, felix”, you say as you feel the tip of his cock swelling between your breasts.

with a final deep thrust, felix throws his head back and groans as he comes, his cum splattering across your breasts and neck, some of it reaching your chin and mouth. he keeps thrusting through his climax, smearing his cum across your skin with his cock. 

felix slows his movements, breathing heavily as he looks down at the mess he’s made on your body. the comments and donations continue coming, everyone still losing their minds over what they just witnessed.

leethighs: she looks perfect like that

dirtypup: i just came from seeing that

he leans down, his lips finding yours as his tongue slides against yours while his cum still glistens across your skin. you continue making out until you push against his chest firmly, flipping him onto his back. felix lands on the bed with a surprised grunt, his eyes widening as you swing a leg over his body and straddle his hips.

“my turn now”, you tell him.

his cock twitches against your thigh, still half-hard and sensitive from his recent orgasm. you lean down and kiss him again, harder this time as your tongue claims his mouth and your hips roll forward against his body. your cunt drags along the length of his cock, smearing his own cum between your folds. 

felix gasps into the kiss, his body jerking beneath you.

“fuck- s-sensitive”, he whines against your lips, his hands gripping your waist, “give me a second, sunshine”

but you don’t. you keep grinding, sliding your cunt up and down his cock, feeling it twitch and throb under you as his whimpers grow louder.

maknaeontop: he’s whining already

edgequeen: she’s in charge now

cumslut: sit on it 

you kiss down his jaw and then you sit up straighter, shifting your body higher. your knees slide forward along the bed until you’re hovering just above his chest. felix’s eyes darken with realisation as you keep moving upwards, positioning yourself over his face.

“oh fuck, yes”, he says, his hands immediately gripping your thighs, “come here, sunshine”

he pulls you down hard, seating your cunt directly onto his mouth. his tongue lashes out immediately, licking through your folds. you moan loudly, gripping your breasts again, squeezing and pinching your nipples as you start to ride his face, grinding your clit against his tongue as he devours you.

“that’s it”, you say, your voice shaking with pleasure, “fuck, your mouth feels s-so good”

felix groans into you and then his tongue lowers and pushes inside you, fucking you shallowly before dragging up to circle your clit again. he sucks there hard, his lips sealed tight around it while his hands keep you pinned to his face. 

quokkjone: fucking perfect

midnightwolf: he’s going to town!!

strongspear: fuck i wish it was me

“good boy”, you say as you start rocking your hips faster, “yeah, just like that. d-don’t stop”

felix’s nose presses against your clit with every grind, his tongue relentless as he laps at your dripping entrance. he moves one of his hands, sliding it between your bodies until his fingers find your clit now. he rubs fast circles while his tongue continues to thrust inside you, your thighs starting to shake around his head.

“fuck- felix- i’m c-close”, you cry out, grinding harder, “don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop”

his fingers start working faster, his tongue flattening to let you ride it completely. your moans turn into broken screams as the pressure builds, your whole body tensing above him until you finally break. you scream his name as your cunt clenches and pulses, flooding his mouth and chin with your release. 

your thighs squeeze around his head while you grind through every wave of your orgasm, soaking his face. felix keeps licking, drinking you down as your body trembles above him. once he makes sure you’re alright, he pulls you down against his chest, your bodies slick with sweat and cum as you settle on top of him.

your lips find his again, slow and deep, your tongues sliding together while his hands roam freely over your curves. his palms trace the dip of your waist, slide up to cup your breasts and then they drift lower again to squeeze your ass, his fingers digging in possessively. you moan into the kiss, grinding lazily against his thigh again, feeling the wet mess between your legs smear across his skin.

princessonline: fuck they’re not done

leethighs: i already came twice fuck

felix moves you both carefully, guiding you forward until you’re positioned right in front of the camera on your hands and knees. he moves behind you, his breath hot against your spine as he leans in, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your back, his tongue flicking out to taste the salt on your skin. each kiss trails lower until his lips reach the small of your back, then he moves and grips your hips as he lines himself up.

you feel his cock press against your entrance and then he pushes in, stretching you open until he’s buried deep. a low groan rips from his throat as your walls clench around him.

“fuck, y/n, you’re so tight”, he growls, pulling back and thrusting forward again, his hips snapping against your ass with each thrust.

midnightwolf: fuck she’s taking him so well

cumslut: fuck her harder

quokkjone: i’m gonna come again fuckkk

felix’s hands grip your hips hard enough to leave marks on your skin and your breasts sway beneath you with every thrust. he leans over your back, one of his hands sliding up to grab your shoulder as he starts thrusting deeper, hitting your spot again and again.

“you feel so fucking good”, he pants against your ear, “taking my cock like you were made for it… f-fuck”

he pulls you upright, your back pressed against his chest now. his cock stays buried inside you as he wraps one arm around your waist. his other hand reaches up, his fingers turning your face towards him so your mouths meet in a desperate kiss. your tongues tangle together while his other hand slides down between your legs until his fingers find your clit, his cock still thrusting up into you. you moan loudly into his mouth, one of your hands reaching back to grip his hair.

“oh god… don’t stop”, you whimper against his lips, “please… right there- fuck, i’m g-gonna come”

his fingers start moving faster, pressing and circling while his hips continue moving, thrusting faster and harder now.

artprince69: do it faster she’s gonna come

maknaeontop: she’s gonna explode

you scream his name as you come hard, your juices gushing out around his cock and soaking his fingers and the sheets beneath you. your whole body shakes in his arms, your thigh trembling as you squirt, drenching everything. felix groans loudly, his own orgasm following yours as his cock pulses deep inside you while he keeps rubbing your clit.

dirtypup: holy fuck

quokkjone: she drenched him

edgequeen: i want him to fuck me too

cumslut: i came just from imagining i’m her oh my god

felix slows his movements, pressing kisses to your shoulder as you both try to catch your breath. he looks at the camera and then smirks and moves you enough so he can reach his phone to end the livestream, the screen going dark now. he carefully pulls out of you, lies you on the bed and turns you in his arms, checking your face.

“you okay?”, he asks you softly as he brushes your hair from your forehead, the sweet and tender felix you’re used to slowly coming back now. 

you nod your head, still trembling from the intensity but feeling perfect, better than you’ve ever felt before. 

he smiles at you and pulls you closer, “good. and, y/n, just so you know, i think we should do this again”

you snort and look at him, smiling softly, “what? another live?”

felix shakes his head, his eyes dark again with renewed hunger, “not a live, no. this, just you and me”

you look at him, feeling that same fire inside you again and then you both lean in at the same time, your mouths meeting in the middle. his hands slide over your body one more time, and you feel his cock already twitching back to life against your thigh, the night far from over.

a/n: and with our brownie boy, we're already halfway through wowowow 🥳 thank you all so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed this part too and get ready because our very own maknae is next 😎

the library

likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🌟

dividers by my darling @lariesographic 🩷

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[starlostjisung]

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[starlostjisung]

the roommate paradox

pairing: felix x reader

genre: smut

wc: 4.1k

warnings: unprotected sex; tits play; face sitting; squirting; praising; dirty talk; voyeurism; exhibitionism

summary: there’s a version of you that only exists online and there’s a version of felix that only exists behind a screen. neither of you has ever said anything about it but living together changes everything and in the end, something has to give

live: unfiltered series

the café is busy as you and your friend yuna sit by the window, your shopping bags piled around your table after spending almost the entire day wandering through the city.

“you definitely spent more than i did”, yuna says as she takes a sip of her coffee, eyeing the bags at your feet.

you laugh, “that’s not true”

“it is true”

“no, it’s not. it only looks like that because lingerie stores use these super tiny bags”

she raises an eyebrow, “that, and the fact that you bought like… ten sets”

“eight”

she gives you a pointed look.

“two of them will barely cover anything so i wouldn’t say i bought ten sets”, you say, trying to defend yourself.

she bursts into laughter, nearly spilling her drink, “you’re impossible, y/n”

“so i’ve been told”, you say laughing too.

unlike most people in your life, she knows exactly why you buy so much lingerie, she is one of the very few people who knows what you actually do for work. she knows you do livestreams, that you create adult content, and she knows how much planning actually goes into every single one of them. she has even helped you pick your new lingerie many times before, like she has done today. 

she reaches over and nudges one of the bags with her foot, “so… which one is for this week’s stream?”

you grin, “the black one”

“the one with the silver details?”, she asks you and you nod your head, “yes! i love that one. you’re gonna look fucking hot in it”

“it’s one of those that barely leaves anything to the imagination so… i fucking hope so”

she laughs again, “you will, i’m sure of it”

doing the livestreams is more work than people realise and sometimes it feels more like running a small business than anything else. but still, you genuinely enjoy it and yuna knows that.

“so”, she says, stirring the foam in her coffee, “how’s the roommate life going?”

your smile comes instantly, “it’s perfect, i genuinely love living with felix”

“i had a feeling you’d say that, he seems like a dream”

“he really is, it’s so easy living with him honestly”, you tell her, your smile growing bigger.

“you two don’t drive each other crazy?”

“not at all”

she leans back, smiling too, “no arguments? no passive-aggressive sticky notes?”

you shake your head, “nothing”

you think about felix and how living together has been effortless, not that it surprised you if you have to be honest.

“he’s one of my best friends and i think we just… we really understand each other”, you say, and then sigh, smiling into your coffee, “and i already know i’m gonna miss him when he leaves”

she tilts her head, “y/n, he hasn’t even moved out yet”

“i know”, you say, sighing again.

“how much longer?”

“i don’t know… i think two more months or something like that”

the thought leaves a strange heaviness in your chest. when felix’s apartment renovations are finished, he’ll move back home and then everything will go back to normal. your apartment will be quieter, your kitchen will probably be cleaner, but you will definitely be lonelier.

“i got used to having him around all the time”, you continue.

“i can tell”, she says, “you two really make it work”

“yeah, we do”, you say as you take a sip from your drink.

“and i guess that it really helps that you both work doing the same thing”

you stop drinking your coffee and look at her, “... what?”

she looks at you as if the answer is obvious, “i said it probably helps-”

“no”, you frown, “what do you mean “doing the same thing”?”

she stops stirring her drink, “what do you mean?”

you stare at each other for several seconds, none of you saying anything and then yuna laughs awkwardly.

“wait…”, she says as she studies your face, “you don’t know?”

your stomach tightens, “know what?”

her smile slowly disappears, “oh…”

a strange feeling settles over the table, “yuna, what are you talking about?”

she looks genuinely confused, “i thought you knew”

“knew what?”, you ask her again.

she lowers her voice, “felix”

“what about him?”

“he’s a camboy”

her words barely register in your brain, “he’s a what?”

“a camboy”

you look at her, unable to blink, you’re not sure if you’re even breathing at this point.

“i’m sorry?”

she frowns, “you seriously didn’t know?”

“no”, you say, shaking your head.

“he never told you?”

you shake your head again, “no”, then you let out a nervous laugh, “i think you’ve got the wrong person-”

“i don’t”, she cuts in.

“there has to be another one-”

“there isn’t”

“you are mistaken”

“i’m really not”, she says, her tone firmer now.

your heartbeat starts picking up, “felix?”

“the same felix who lives with you, yeah”

“my felix?”

she nods her head looking at you, “yes”

“no”

“yes”

“no”

she reaches for her phone, “y/n, i’ve watched his lives for a while”

your eyebrows shoot up, “you’ve watched them!?”

she shrugs, “yeah”

“you’ve… watched felix?”

“look i didn’t know him personally when i saw the first one”

“but yuna that was… years ago”

“i know”

“and you’ve watched his lives… all these years? and you never told me?”

“i honestly thought you already knew”, she says, shrugging her shoulders again.

“i didn’t”

“well, i can see that now”, she says, laughing softly at your face, “i just… i figured you were both keeping it private from everyone else”

“no”

“and you never talked about work together? what you do?”

“no”

she looks just as surprised as you feel, “i thought that was why living together worked so well for you both”

“what?”

“i don’t know, i just assumed that because you’re both in the same field…”

your heart pounds louder with every second, “no…”

she unlocks her phone, “it’s really him, y/n”

she scrolls for a moment before turning the screen towards you. your eyes immediately land on felix’s face and there is no mistaking him - the same freckles and the same blond hair, the same smile and the same eyes you like. 

it is him.

“i…”, you say but your voice fails.

“there are even a couple of streams filmed in your apartment”

you turn your head to look at her so fast it almost makes you dizzy.

“what?”

“yeah, i recognised your spare room”

you blink, everything feels a bit too much right now. then she shows you the thumbnail of another livestream and points at it.

“and i’m pretty sure that’s your sofa”, she says.

you feel your blood drain from your face.

“i… i assumed you knew”, you hear yuna speaking again, sounding almost guilty now, “i mean… you work doing the same thing and all that. i thought you… i don’t know, coordinated schedules or something”

you can’t answer, your thoughts are spinning so fast that none of them make sense anymore.

felix?

a camboy?

there is absolutely no way, and yet… the face on the screen belongs to your roommate, to one of your best friends, to the man who is currently living in your apartment with you. you keep staring at the screen, completely lost because you never, not even once, had considered this possibility, not in a million years.

you are pacing across the living room, back to the kitchen, then to the window and then back again, as your phone rests in your hand. every few minutes, you unlock it to see felix’s page still there, still the same profile picture, the same username, the same videos, everything is the same, obviously.

he had texted you some minutes ago to let you know he was coming home after spending the day with chan and jeongin. you keep pacing back and forth until you hear footsteps outside your apartment, then someone typing a code, and you know it’s him.

“there you are”, felix says cheerfully as soon as he opens the door, “i thought you were sleeping because you didn’t reply to my text”

he kicks off his shoes by the entrance and then walks towards you. without hesitation, he wraps both of his arms around your shoulders.

“hi”, he says.

you return his hug because there is nothing that you love more in this world than hugging felix, well, maybe his brownies.

“you’ve been waiting for me?”, he asks you.

“yeah”

“aww”, he says as he squeezes you once before letting go, “i knew you were gonna miss me today”

he drops his bag beside the sofa and then walks towards the kitchen, with you following him.

“you know how exhausting chan gets when he loses”

you can’t help smiling, “that means you won?”

“of course i did”, he says, “jeongin almost beat me but i’m invincible, sunshine, you know it”

you let out a small laugh and for a moment, everything almost feels normal again, like you didn’t find out hours ago that your roommate is a camboy.

“you hungry?”, he asks you.

“no”

“i could make ramen-”

“i’m okay”

he opens the fridge anyway, “you sure?”

“mmhm”

he grabs a bottle of water before he closes the fridge and turns towards you, “so… how was your day?”

there it is, the question, so ordinary and so innocent.

you can’t pretend anymore so you unlock your phone and without saying a word, you walk over to him, then turn the screen towards him. the moment his eyes land on his page, his expression freezes and his face pales. the room falls silent for the first time since he arrived and you’re the first to break it.

“care to explain?”

he doesn’t move, he simply stares at the screen and then at you.

“i…”, his voice is barely above a whisper, “how…”, he swallows, “how did you find this?”

“yuna”, you simply say.

he blinks, “yuna?”

“she thought i already knew”

he closes his eyes and then rubs the back of his neck, “i…”, another long pause, “i can explain”

“i’m listening”, you say.

he lets out a slow breath and his shoulders sag, then he looks at you.

“i know i should’ve told you, i really do. but i was… scared”, you stay quiet, letting him talk, “because a lot of people judge it, they judge me. they hear what i do and then suddenly i’m not… me anymore. they think they know everything about me and i…”, he pauses again, “i didn’t want that to happen with you. i’m sorry, y/n”

his apology is sincere, you can hear it in every word, and in the end, you really know what he’s trying to say, you’ve done the same with him, not telling him you’re a camgirl.

“i never did anything while you were home”, he continues, “i always made sure that you weren’t here when i did my lives. i know that doesn’t make it okay but i just…”, he sighs, “i don’t want you to think differently of me”

you step closer, “felix, it’s okay. i understand”

he blinks, “really?”

you hesitate for only a moment and then you smile, “felix… i’m a camgirl”

felix stares at you, “you’re… you-”

you nod your head, “yeah”

his mouth opens and closes a couple of times before he speaks again, “you?”

“me”

he laughs in complete disbelief, “oh my god… we’re both absolute idiots”, he says as he runs a hand through his hair and then he looks around the room as though seeing it for the first time, “so we’ve both been…”

“working from home”, you say, the two of you laughing together now.

the tension that has filled the apartment since you walked in that afternoon begins to ease, just enough for you to finally breathe. he looks at you for a long moment.

“so… what now?”

a smile slowly spreads across your face.

“well… seeing that we both do the same job…”

his eyebrows rise and he tilts his head, “what are you thinking?”

you hold his gaze for a beat and then, without another word, you untie the belt of your silk dressing gown and let the fabric fall to the floor. you’re wearing the black lingerie set you bought earlier today, its silver details catching the light from the room, making felix’s eyes widen in surprise, completely unable to look away from your almost naked body.

“we should do a livestream together”

felix leans close to his phone as he taps the screen to start the livestream and the moment you both go live, the chat explodes with the first comments.

maknaeontop: no fucking way they’re doing this together

edgequeen: this is the best day of my life

artprince69: she looks so fucking hot in that lingerie

midnightwolf: felix you lucky bastard

felix grins at the comments and then moves so his body presses down on top of yours as he settles between your spread legs.

“look at them already losing their minds over us”, he says, “i think this is the best idea you’ve ever had, sunshine”

your sweet and delicate friend disappears the moment his mouth crashes against yours in a hungry kiss, your tongues sliding together as his hands roam over your body. you feel the hard line of his cock straining against his boxers, grinding down against your cunt while the comments and donations keep pouring in.

felix deepens the kiss, sucking on your lower lip before he pulls back, “let’s give them a show, shall we?”

his fingers hook into the straps of your lingerie, slowly peeling it off your body. he takes your bra off first, exposing your breasts, then he tugs your panties down your legs and tosses them aside, leaving you completely naked now. you reach for his boxers next, letting his cock spring free as he kicks them off completely. his mouth finds yours again as his hips start moving, his cock sliding along your folds without entering you yet.

dirtypup: she’s soaked already

user69: this is insane

princessonline: i’m gonna come just from seeing them 

“fuck, you feel so good already”, felix says, his cock dragging up and down your cunt.

he kisses down your neck, biting at your collarbone before returning to your mouth. his tongue pushes deep as his hips grind harder, the head of his cock catching against your clit with every thrust. 

cumslut: fuck her already

edgequeen: they’re so into each other fuck this is so hot 

felix pulls back a bit, his eyes dark with lust as he looks down at you.

“hold your tits for me”, he says, his voice totally commanding, “push them together. i wanna fuck them while everyone watches”

you nod your head and then cup your breasts and squeeze them together for him. felix moves up your body, straddling your waist as he positions his cock between them. his hot and hard length slides between your breasts as he starts thrusting.

“that’s it”, he growls, watching his cock disappear between your breasts, “squeeze them tighter. fuck, your tits feel incredible around my cock”

quokkjone: fuck yessss

strongspear: she’s such a good girl for him

cumslut: felix is throbbing so hard

artprince69: about to bust already 

“look at all these people watching me use your tits”, felix pants, his hips snapping faster, “i bet all the boys are stroking their cocks thinking about doing this to you. but it’s me, i’m the one fucking these perfect tits right now”

the tip of his cock pokes out near your chin with every thrust and then, he leans forward a bit more so it brushes against your lips.

“open up. let me see you lick it”, he says.

you extend your tongue, licking the tip each time it emerges from between your breasts. felix moans loudly, his rhythm becoming erratic now.

“fuck, just like that. you’re being so good for me… you’re gonna make me come all over you”

edgequeen: this is the hottest thing i’ve ever seen

cumslut: he’s gonna explode 

“i-i’m close”, he says.

“come for me, felix”, you say as you feel the tip of his cock swelling between your breasts.

with a final deep thrust, felix throws his head back and groans as he comes, his cum splattering across your breasts and neck, some of it reaching your chin and mouth. he keeps thrusting through his climax, smearing his cum across your skin with his cock. 

felix slows his movements, breathing heavily as he looks down at the mess he’s made on your body. the comments and donations continue coming, everyone still losing their minds over what they just witnessed.

leethighs: she looks perfect like that

dirtypup: i just came from seeing that

he leans down, his lips finding yours as his tongue slides against yours while his cum still glistens across your skin. you continue making out until you push against his chest firmly, flipping him onto his back. felix lands on the bed with a surprised grunt, his eyes widening as you swing a leg over his body and straddle his hips.

“my turn now”, you tell him.

his cock twitches against your thigh, still half-hard and sensitive from his recent orgasm. you lean down and kiss him again, harder this time as your tongue claims his mouth and your hips roll forward against his body. your cunt drags along the length of his cock, smearing his own cum between your folds. 

felix gasps into the kiss, his body jerking beneath you.

“fuck- s-sensitive”, he whines against your lips, his hands gripping your waist, “give me a second, sunshine”

but you don’t. you keep grinding, sliding your cunt up and down his cock, feeling it twitch and throb under you as his whimpers grow louder.

maknaeontop: he’s whining already

edgequeen: she’s in charge now

cumslut: sit on it 

you kiss down his jaw and then you sit up straighter, shifting your body higher. your knees slide forward along the bed until you’re hovering just above his chest. felix’s eyes darken with realisation as you keep moving upwards, positioning yourself over his face.

“oh fuck, yes”, he says, his hands immediately gripping your thighs, “come here, sunshine”

he pulls you down hard, seating your cunt directly onto his mouth. his tongue lashes out immediately, licking through your folds. you moan loudly, gripping your breasts again, squeezing and pinching your nipples as you start to ride his face, grinding your clit against his tongue as he devours you.

“that’s it”, you say, your voice shaking with pleasure, “fuck, your mouth feels s-so good”

felix groans into you and then his tongue lowers and pushes inside you, fucking you shallowly before dragging up to circle your clit again. he sucks there hard, his lips sealed tight around it while his hands keep you pinned to his face. 

quokkjone: fucking perfect

midnightwolf: he’s going to town!!

strongspear: fuck i wish it was me

“good boy”, you say as you start rocking your hips faster, “yeah, just like that. d-don’t stop”

felix’s nose presses against your clit with every grind, his tongue relentless as he laps at your dripping entrance. he moves one of his hands, sliding it between your bodies until his fingers find your clit now. he rubs fast circles while his tongue continues to thrust inside you, your thighs starting to shake around his head.

“fuck- felix- i’m c-close”, you cry out, grinding harder, “don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop”

his fingers start working faster, his tongue flattening to let you ride it completely. your moans turn into broken screams as the pressure builds, your whole body tensing above him until you finally break. you scream his name as your cunt clenches and pulses, flooding his mouth and chin with your release. 

your thighs squeeze around his head while you grind through every wave of your orgasm, soaking his face. felix keeps licking, drinking you down as your body trembles above him. once he makes sure you’re alright, he pulls you down against his chest, your bodies slick with sweat and cum as you settle on top of him.

your lips find his again, slow and deep, your tongues sliding together while his hands roam freely over your curves. his palms trace the dip of your waist, slide up to cup your breasts and then they drift lower again to squeeze your ass, his fingers digging in possessively. you moan into the kiss, grinding lazily against his thigh again, feeling the wet mess between your legs smear across his skin.

princessonline: fuck they’re not done

leethighs: i already came twice fuck

felix moves you both carefully, guiding you forward until you’re positioned right in front of the camera on your hands and knees. he moves behind you, his breath hot against your spine as he leans in, pressing open-mouthed kisses down your back, his tongue flicking out to taste the salt on your skin. each kiss trails lower until his lips reach the small of your back, then he moves and grips your hips as he lines himself up.

you feel his cock press against your entrance and then he pushes in, stretching you open until he’s buried deep. a low groan rips from his throat as your walls clench around him.

“fuck, y/n, you’re so tight”, he growls, pulling back and thrusting forward again, his hips snapping against your ass with each thrust.

midnightwolf: fuck she’s taking him so well

cumslut: fuck her harder

quokkjone: i’m gonna come again fuckkk

felix’s hands grip your hips hard enough to leave marks on your skin and your breasts sway beneath you with every thrust. he leans over your back, one of his hands sliding up to grab your shoulder as he starts thrusting deeper, hitting your spot again and again.

“you feel so fucking good”, he pants against your ear, “taking my cock like you were made for it… f-fuck”

he pulls you upright, your back pressed against his chest now. his cock stays buried inside you as he wraps one arm around your waist. his other hand reaches up, his fingers turning your face towards him so your mouths meet in a desperate kiss. your tongues tangle together while his other hand slides down between your legs until his fingers find your clit, his cock still thrusting up into you. you moan loudly into his mouth, one of your hands reaching back to grip his hair.

“oh god… don’t stop”, you whimper against his lips, “please… right there- fuck, i’m g-gonna come”

his fingers start moving faster, pressing and circling while his hips continue moving, thrusting faster and harder now.

artprince69: do it faster she’s gonna come

maknaeontop: she’s gonna explode

you scream his name as you come hard, your juices gushing out around his cock and soaking his fingers and the sheets beneath you. your whole body shakes in his arms, your thigh trembling as you squirt, drenching everything. felix groans loudly, his own orgasm following yours as his cock pulses deep inside you while he keeps rubbing your clit.

dirtypup: holy fuck

quokkjone: she drenched him

edgequeen: i want him to fuck me too

cumslut: i came just from imagining i’m her oh my god

felix slows his movements, pressing kisses to your shoulder as you both try to catch your breath. he looks at the camera and then smirks and moves you enough so he can reach his phone to end the livestream, the screen going dark now. he carefully pulls out of you, lies you on the bed and turns you in his arms, checking your face.

“you okay?”, he asks you softly as he brushes your hair from your forehead, the sweet and tender felix you’re used to slowly coming back now. 

you nod your head, still trembling from the intensity but feeling perfect, better than you’ve ever felt before. 

he smiles at you and pulls you closer, “good. and, y/n, just so you know, i think we should do this again”

you snort and look at him, smiling softly, “what? another live?”

felix shakes his head, his eyes dark again with renewed hunger, “not a live, no. this, just you and me”

you look at him, feeling that same fire inside you again and then you both lean in at the same time, your mouths meeting in the middle. his hands slide over your body one more time, and you feel his cock already twitching back to life against your thigh, the night far from over.

a/n: and with our brownie boy, we're already halfway through wowowow 🥳 thank you all so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed this part too and get ready because our very own maknae is next 😎

the library

likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🌟

dividers by my darling @lariesographic 🩷

permanent taglist: @v3n7s @emmiesoverthemoon @kloversung @inniemeenymineymoe @hathoryan6868 @cherrycheolie @sheerfreesia007 @yessirfelix @hanjinology @luvvvivi @fantasy-addict354 @applesrpeak @lavunyan @channiesswift @skinnyjeans-tanktops @wonderlandforthelonley-blog @bellacj1 @karmaminho @hyunjinxxs @xallyouneedislovexx @niki-the-american @skzbyemmy @kpopishgirlie @daisylove3 @bunbunbl0gs @miniseungkimcami @geni-627 @bsk-brn @pvppymin @viisstrayy @ann-gell @mitsuri1221 @lost-in-the-stars03 @channlust @staygenesblog @persassyismysecrettwin @tsunderelino @minastronaut @minhocinema @staytinycassichu @nyaaa-cat @bangchansnipples @pinknymphkisses @wompwompgang @inlovewithstraykids @sturnsxbitvh @enchantedlov3r2 @certainstarfishmiracle @lixxstay

[starlostjisung]

he’s an angry puppy

[starlostjisung]

Just peeking in to say Hi. Love you. Bye. 😘😘😘

HI MY LOVE 🩷🩷 how are youuu? hope you ha’re having a great day!

[starlostjisung]

FOR YOU ANDYY HAVE A GREAT DAYY

THANK YOU MY DARLING 🩷 HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO!

[starlostjisung]

breaking news: i'm an idiot

pairing: seungmin x reader

genre: friends to lovers; smut

wc: 8.4k

warnings: unprotected sex; sub!seungmin; oral sex (f!receiving); fingering; handjob; dry humping; use of toys; praising; dirty talk; voyeurism; exhibitionism

summary: sweet and innocent seungmin fell for a girl he wished he could have and he also became obsessed with a girl he didn’t know. some secrets aren’t meant to stay hidden and he is about to learn that the hard way

live: unfiltered series

kim seungmin is the smart, annoying friend who always reminds everyone about deadlines two weeks in advance. he is the boy who carries a bag heavier than his own body because he insists on bringing every book “just in case”. he is the boy who sighs whenever one of your friends makes a stupid decision but then immediately helps them anyway.

kim seungmin is the boy who complains the loudest and loves the hardest. 

he loves studying and he loves his colour coded notes and neat handwriting and he also loves getting the highest grade and acting like he doesn’t care much about it.

he likes his routines - waking up at eight, having coffee with exactly one sugar, listening to the same playlists over and over again, walking to university instead of taking the bus because he likes to dedicate those extra fifteen minutes to think.

his life is simple, comfortable and very predictable. or at least most of it is, except for the parts of his life that concern you. 

not that he ever tells you this, god forbid.

because seungmin is brave enough to argue with your professors, brave enough to tell strangers when they’re wrong, brave enough to stand up for every single one of your friends. but when it comes to you? he is pathetic, absolutely hopeless.

you had met years ago during your first year at university, he remembers it with embarrassing clarity - you were sitting one row ahead of him, your hair messy because you had been late to class and your cheeks still red from running across campus. the professor had asked a question and you - very confidently, he has to say - had given the wrong answer. he had laughed at your answer, like a full and proper snort escaped him, and you just turned around and glared at him, making him freeze in his seat. 

“you think it’s funny?”, you had asked him, narrowing your eyes.

he stopped laughing immediately and shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours, and somehow, that was your beginning, because your hatred for him lasted only those twenty seconds, maybe even less, and after that, your friendship began.

now you are inseparable and seungmin thinks that everything about you two is normal, or at least he likes to pretend that it’s normal when he texts you good morning every day, when he walks on the side closest to traffic when you’re together, when he keeps your favourite snacks in his bag, when he knows which things make your eyes light up and when he knows when you’re lying about being okay.

sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself, and maybe that’s exactly why he’s doomed, because he is completely and utterly in love with you. he knows it, and he also knows that it’s embarrassing and stupid, because now everything revolves around you. every accomplishment means nothing if he can’t tell you first and every joke becomes funnier if you laugh at it.

he tries to ignore his feelings at first, but of course, he fails miserably, because every time you smile at him, his brain short circuits. he’s completely gone and every single one of your friends knows it.

“you are disgusting”, changbin tells him one day.

seungmin frowns, “i’m literally doing nothing”

“you’re staring at y/n as she walks away”

he scoffs and ignores him, but he spends the next ten minutes wondering if it’s so obvious that everyone can see it. well, everyone except you. or maybe you do see it and you just haven’t said anything because you don’t feel the same way and you want to be nice, to still be friends.

seungmin doesn’t know and he’s too scared to find out, so he settles for your friendship and your late night phone calls as well as your movie nights and walking you home every time you go out. 

but he also likes to think that maybe, just maybe, the universe will help him someday, and maybe one day you’ll realise how he looks at you and you’ll look at him the same way. 

but until then, he just wants to be enough for you, your best friend and the person you can rely on. he wants to be good for you, in every possible way, even in ways that he doesn’t understand yet, which becomes a problem because unlike most of your friends, seungmin has exactly zero experience when it comes to romance, and even less when it comes to sex.

zero, nothing, nada. 

he’s never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone, never gone on a proper date. the closest thing he has to experience is reading awkward advice forums at three in the morning, which he thinks it’s ridiculous, because now, he’s twenty-something and your last year at university is finally here. 

he’s an adult and he still blushes whenever your friends make dirty jokes, he still coughs awkwardly and looks away when there’s a sex scene on tv, and he still pretends to check his phone whenever your friends talk about who they went home with the night before or how many times they came that weekend.

it’s embarrassing, especially because lately he can’t stop thinking about you. not in a bad way, no, not because he wants to disrespect you, it’s quite the opposite really. he likes you so much that he wants to understand relationships better, he wants to know what to do to make you happy, he wants to know how to be caring and gentle but also rough, he wants to know how to make you feel good just in case he ever has the chance to.

so he decides to do some research, because that’s what he always does, research everything. he starts with educational websites, reading some articles and medical journals as well as safe relationship guides. 

he takes notes - yes, actual notes - and reads for hours, learning absolutely nothing useful because every single web says the same things: communicate with your partner, respect your boundaries, be honest, don’t force things… and they are good points obviously, but it’s nothing he didn’t know before and they don’t answer the questions he’s too embarrassed to say out loud.

what if he’s awkward?

what if he’s inexperienced forever?

what if one day you like him back and he disappoints you?

what if you decide to walk away from him? 

those questions keep him awake at night, so eventually, and hesitantly, with his face burning bright red, and in the privacy of his room when he knows changbin is already sleeping in his, he starts looking elsewhere, on different pages, pages where people share their experiences. then he moves to pages where people share videos, pages he had never dared visit before.

he sees one that’s a bit different from the others, a page that shows livestreams too, not just recordings. his cursor hovers over the link for a bit before he rubs his face. he tells himself that this is only to find and learn new things, that he’s only doing this because he has been hopelessly in love with you for years and wants to learn every way to hopefully make you feel good one day, to not make a fool of himself and learn things that you may like. 

his hand hesitates a bit more and then with a racing heart and enough embarrassment to last a lifetime, he decides to explore a world he knows absolutely nothing about and clicks on the link. the screen flashes and a new tab opens, bathing his dorm room in the pale blue glow of it. he sees multiple videos at first before he opens one where a girl is in nothing but a thin white tank top and panties, sitting cross-legged on her bed. her nipples are already stiff against the fabric and she keeps rubbing herself through her underwear, the damp spot growing darker with every pass.

seungmin’s throat goes dry and he closes the livestream fast.

he opens a new one, the girl there naked from her waist down as she fingers herself with two fingers. he sees the chat going crazy, people sending donations and comments, and when he feels his face burn again he closes that livestream too.

another click, another girl, this time lying on her back with her legs spread wide. the livestream doesn’t fully load before seungmin closes that one too, his heart hammering inside his chest. 

he keeps clicking, each new livestream more explicit than the last and then, he finds one that makes him stop when he opens it.

the girl is on her knees in the centre of her bed, her face carefully cropped out of frame. she is wearing a black bra and matching panties and something about the way she moves makes seungmin freeze. she reaches up and cups her breasts over the bra, her thumbs brushing back and forth over her nipples. from the corner of his eye, seungmin can see the chat going crazy, as the comments and donations never stop.

leethighs: fuck yes

aussielord: i’m so hard take everything off 

the girl ignores the comment and keeps touching herself, squeezing and rubbing until her breathing grows heavier. seungmin swallows hard and his hand drifts down without permission and presses against the growing bulge in his pants which he didn’t realise until now. every single sound that comes from the girl makes his stomach twist with a confusing mix of shame and heat and even though he tells himself he is only doing this for research, his cock is already hard and ready to explode. 

the girl on the screen hooks her thumbs into her panties and moves just enough to push them down her thighs and kick them off. then she reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, leaving her completely naked, with her knees spread and her cunt on full display. the camera angle is low enough that seungmin can see everything, including her folds and the way her clit peeks out when she moves. 

she reaches down and traces two fingers along her folds, a moan slipping out of her. seungmin’s hand moves on its own, taking his cock out and giving it one slow stroke, biting his lip to keep quiet. the girl spreads her legs wider and uses her fingers to part her folds, showing the camera how wet she already is. she circles her clit a few times and then slides one finger inside herself, moaning again.

seungmin’s grip tightens and he strokes himself in time with her movements, his eyes glued to the screen, completely hypnotised. 

quokkjone: fuck yourself for us

midnightwolf: such a good girl

maknaeontop: i’m gonna come just watching you

artprince69: add another finger

the girl obeys this time and pushes a second finger inside herself as her hips rock forward to meet her own hand. her moans grow breathier and higher, she’s almost screaming now, letting the sounds fall out of her as she fucks herself harder. 

seungmin’s hand moves faster, his eyes locked on the girl’s cunt, watching the way her fingers disappear inside her again and again. he imagines what it would feel like to be the one inside her, no, how it would feel like to be inside you, making you scream like the girl in the livestream is doing right now. he imagines you, spread open like that for him, begging for him, and the thought alone makes his cock twitch hard in his fist, his orgasm growing faster and unstoppable now. 

the girl adds a third finger, her moans turning into cries now. her free hand moves to pinch one nipple, the chat going feral at this point.

maknaeontop: you look so pretty like this fuck

leethighs: three fingers in i bet you like it rough

he is panting now, trying to stay quiet and not wake changbin up, but he can’t stop looking at the girl and how her fingers keep moving as her moans never stop. her thighs start to tremble and then she comes hard, her juices leaking out around her fingers as she keeps rubbing her clit through her orgasm. 

seungmin’s stokes grow frantic and then his orgasm hits him like a punch, his hips jerking as his cum shoots across his stomach and hand, his vision going white for a second. he keeps stroking his cock through his orgasm, milking every drop as he watches the girl on screen pull her fingers out. she leans forward just enough for the camera to catch the movement of her hand and then, she waves once and ends the stream. 

seungmin sits there in the sudden silence, the screen with the image of the girl close to the camera now, his chest heaving and his cock softening in his sticky hand. his cum is cooling on his skin as he stares at the “stream ended” message. he feels his face burn with embarrassment, he hadn’t meant for this to happen. he just wanted to learn, to understand, to find things, to hopefully be good for you one day.

instead he had just jerked off to a stranger while imagining it was you who was spread open and screaming for him.

two weeks, fourteen days, that’s long enough for everyone to notice how seungmin keeps disappearing. not completely, because he still shows up to every class and hands in every assignment on time, but the moment class ends, he’s gone.

he doesn’t linger in the hallway, he doesn’t grab coffee with all of you, there’s no spontaneous movie nights, no teasing you until you threaten to throw your book at him. nothing, he always has an excuse.

“i can’t, i have to study”

“not today, i have to do some research for a project” 

to be honest they’re believable excuses, they’re seungmin excuses, and nobody questions them. and to be fair, he really does some research, just not the one you all expected him to do.

the first livestream should have been the last one, that’s the first thing he told himself the morning after he watched it. he woke up and deleted his browser history, then avoided opening his laptop for almost the entire day. he promised himself that what had happened was a mistake born from curiosity and that he would move on and forget it happened.

but what happened instead was that that same evening, he caught himself wondering if that girl would stream again that day, then he opened his laptop and found the page and the same girl again, embarrassingly fast he has to admit. he told himself he would look at the account for a minute, just to prove himself that the fascination was gone.

but it wasn’t.

one minute became thirty and thirty became an hour and then he had learnt the days she usually goes live, according to the schedule she had posted. and without meaning to, he started planning his days around her schedule and whenever there wasn’t a livestream, he would watch the old ones, archived in previous recordings. 

there are lots of them, more than he expected, and the girl always starts and ends the livestream with a small wave, which makes her seem less like a stranger. that thought unsettles him a bit because he knows he shouldn’t feel familiar with someone he’s never met, he shouldn’t feel familiar with a girl who he watches with her fingers buried deep inside her as his hand strokes his cock wishing it was someone else’s hand instead.

he wonders why he feels so familiar with her and then, one day, he realises the reason he can’t look away, the reason why something about her has felt strangely familiar from the very beginning - it’s her silhouette, her body.

it reminds him of you, of your body.

when he realises, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. he hates himself for even thinking about it because it feels invasive, wrong. the comparison comes from last summer when you all went on a weekend trip and he saw you wearing your bikini when you went to the beach. it wasn’t too revealing, just a normal bikini, but he remembers how hard he had tried not to stare at you, how hard he had to convince himself he wasn’t staring.

apparently his memory had been sharper than he realised.

now whenever he sees that girl, he sees you. he sees her body and wishes it was yours, he sees her fingers parting her folds and circling her clit and he wishes it was your fingers entering you instead. or even better, he wishes that girl was you and he was the one who had his fingers inside you, well his fingers or whatever it was that you wanted from him. 

and every time he sees you now, the real you and not a figure of his imagination when he has his hands on his cock, guilt settles in his chest like a stone. because even though this all started with him wanting to learn and be good for a possible, hypothetical future where you two are together, the reality now is that he will masturbate while he watches a stranger and thinks about you. he wonders when things got out of hand. 

so, when the second saturday after his little livestreams adventure started comes, all of your friends plan to go to the cinema and have dinner outside, just a little break from all your exams and what not. but to no one’s surprise, seungmin decides to stay in, because he has to do some…

‘research’

changbin says goodbye and clicks the door of their dorm shut behind him. seungmin waits one minute, then a bit more, and only when he’s completely sure that changbin won’t suddenly come back because he forgot his wallet or his phone or something, he closes the door of his room and reaches for his laptop. he opens the page that he knows by heart already and then, enters the account and a small message appears at the top.

live in five minutes.

his heart is already pounding like he had run up four flights of stairs. he shifts in his chair, already half-hard from the anticipation alone and he wipes his sweaty palms on his thighs. then the stream loads and the live begins.

the girl is on her knees in the middle of her bed, her face cropped out like always. she’s wearing a baby blue lace bra that barely qualifies as clothing, leaving very little to the imagination, if anything at all, and the delicate cups are sheer enough that her nipples are seen through the fabric. she’s not wearing panties this time, her bare hips and thighs are on full display, but because of how she’s sitting, her cunt isn’t visible for now. seungmin’s cock gives a hard and immediate twitch inside his boxers.

the girl lifts one hand and gives the camera that same familiar wave and the chat starts working, people already sending their comments and donations.

artprince69: fuck yeah she’s back

quokkjone: that bra and no panties? you’re criminal

aussielord: take it off already

seungmin’s mouth goes dry and he presses the heel of his hand against his swelling cock while he bites his lip. the girl brings both hands up to cup her breasts over the lace, her thumbs dragging slow circles over her nipples until the fabric tents even more. the lace looks so delicate against her skin that seungmin can almost feel how soft it is.

she reaches off-screen for a moment and when her hand comes back into frame, it’s holding something new - a big and thick dildo. seungmin lets out an involuntary groan, his cock getting harder just from imagining what she’s gonna do. she has never used a toy on a live before and the sight of it in her hand makes his cock throb painfully.

the chat goes feral, more donations coming and the comments going absolutely crazy.

leethighs: ride that until you squirt 

maknaeontop: i wish it was my cock instead

midnightwolf: the princess wants to play with fire tonight

seungmin shoves his clothes to his thighs until his cock springs free, already leaking. he wraps his hand around the base and gives one slow stroke as his eyes stay locked on the girl. she leans forwards just enough for her mouth to enter the frame and then she parts her lips and lets a long and thick string of spit drip from her tongue onto the tip of the dildo. the saliva runs down the toy and she uses her hand to spread it, making it slick and shiny.

seungmin’s grip tightens, as he imagines that spit was yours and that toy was his cock, he imagines that you were the one getting it ready for him, and that thought makes his hips jerk upwards into his hand.

the girl shifts on the bed, spreading her knees wider, letting everyone see her cunt now, her clit peeking out and her entrance clenching visibly as she positions herself. she holds the dildo beneath her and then begins to lower herself. seungmin’s breath punches out of him in a ragged moan as the toy disappears inside her. she pauses halfway, breathing hard, and then sinks the rest of the way until her ass meets the bed and the toy is completely inside her, a broken moan slipping out of her.

seungmin strokes himself faster, matching her pace as she begins to move, rising up until just the tip remains inside her and then dropping back down, taking every inch again. one of her hands comes up to squeeze her breasts through the lace, pinching her nipple hard enough to make her scream. 

aussielord: that’s it keep riding that toy sunshine

artprince69: fuck i already came from seeing this

midnightwolf: good girl, taking it like a champ 

seungmin barely registers the comments, as his hand keeps flying up and down his cock. in his mind the girl on screen is you, he pictures your body in that baby blue lace and your cunt swallowing his cock instead of the toy, your moans and screams filling his room instead of hers. he imagines reaching up to tug the bra down, freeing your breasts so he can suck on your nipples while you ride him.

the girl starts riding the toy faster, her moans almost desperate now. her free hand moves to her clit, her thighs shaking with the new sensation. the dildo is soaked, shiny with her arousal and every time she lifts off it leaves a string of wetness connecting her pussy to the toy, and the only thing seungmins wants to do is lick it clean. he can feel his orgasm building fast, hotter and heavier than anything he has felt before.

the girl’s movements grow erratic and then her back arches and she finally comes, screaming as one of her hands keeps pinching her nipple and the other circles her clit. a long and broken cry tears from her throat and seungmin comes with her, his cum shooting from his cock and splattering across his hand, his thighs and his t-shirt. the mess is everywhere but he can’t stop looking at the girl and how her cunt still flutters around the dildo.

she lifts herself off the toy slowly, and then she holds the glistening toy up for the camera one last time. she leans forward just enough to wave goodbye and then ends the livestream, the thumbnail of the video being a full and clear image of the baby blue lace bra and her nipples still visible through the lace.

seungmin sits there staring at it, his chest heaving and his cock softening in his hand. his thighs are still shaking and even though that guilt and heat start a war in his chest again, the image of that bra on the screen stays burned behind his eyelids, he can’t look away. his breathing is still uneven, his heart refusing to settle as guilt washes over him.

he drags a trembling hand over his face, “what is wrong with me…”

he doesn’t close the page, he can’t - the thumbnail remains on the screen, frozen exactly where the stream ended. he snaps the laptop shut, hiding the screen for now, pretending that this never happened. he lets out a long breath and then stands up, moving to grab a clean towel and then heading straight for the bathroom.

the cold water from the shower spills over his shoulders, making him flinch immediately. he welcomes it and hopes that it will help him, because he is still thinking about the girl and you, which makes him half-hard again. 

it helps a little but not enough to erase the embarrassment nor to erase the fact that every time he closes his eyes, he sees fragments of the live replaying in his mind, hoping it was you instead. he presses both hands against the wall, shaking his head.

“this is getting ridiculous”, he says to no one in particular.

it is getting a bit ridiculous if he has to be honest, because he started doing this so he could learn and find things that you could like and now? he’s in his dorm, organising his days around a girl he’s never met, making excuses to his friends and avoiding the one person he actually wants to spend time with.

you. 

the irony isn’t lost on him.

when he finishes showering, he goes to his room and pulls on a hoodie and a pair of grey sweatpants and then goes to the kitchen. he opens the cupboards, staring blankly inside, trying to choose what to eat but before he can pull something off the shelf, the bell rings. seungming freezes, he’s not expecting anyone, changbin would use the code and all of your friends are at the cinema. 

another knock, softer this time, and then a voice, “seungmin?”

his heart stops when he realises it’s your voice. every guilty thought crashes back into him all at once and then he quickly smooths down the front of his hoodie as though that somehow could wash away all of them.

“coming!”, he says, his voice cracking.

wonderful.

he walks to the door, clears his throat and then opens it. you’re standing there with an overnight bag over your shoulder and a plastic bag dangling from your wrist.  

you grin the moment you see him, “hello stranger”

“i…”, he says, blinking, “i thought everyone was going to the cinema”

“they are”, you say and he frowns, “but i knew you weren’t gonna go, so i came here instead”

his ears immediately burn, “i’ve been busy”

“mmhm”, you say, not sounding very convinced.

“i really was”, he says.

“mmhm”, you say again. 

before he can think of another excuse, you slip past him into the dorm as though you’ve done it a thousand times before, which you have to be honest. 

“okay so seeing that you’ve been so… “busy”, we’re gonna have our own movie night”, you say as you turn to look at him and hold up the bag you have with you.

he walks towards you and looks inside - he sees popcorn, chocolate, cookies, his favourite drink, your favourite candy.

“you know you can't just invite yourself over, you know?”, he says, teasing you, trying to act as normal as he can.

“too bad i already did”, you say, giving him the bag and then turning around, walking towards his room. 

he walks to the kitchen again just as he hears the squeak of his bed when you flop onto it, before you speak again.

“seungmin!”

“what?”, he says from the kitchen.

“bring food”

“you already brought food”

“no, i brought my food”

he laughs without looking at you, the knot in his chest loosening just a little.

“you’re unbelievable”, he says to himself, but somehow you still hear him.

“i know!”

he shakes his head, unable to stop smiling. he gets some of your snacks and also others for him because you’re really serious about your food and not sharing it and he learnt that lesson the hard way. he then walks to his room, settling everything down on the desk, beside his laptop, before he clumps onto the bed with you. 

“so”, he says, “what are we watching?”

you gasp and turn to look at him, “you mean i get to choose?”

“i didn’t say that”, he says, turning to look at you.

“you implied it”

“i absolutely didn’t”

“you did”

“i really didn’t”

you stick your tongue at him and he laughs, turning to look at the ceiling.

“okay, so… romance?”, you say.

“absolutely no”

“minnie!”

“what?”

“why not? you know they’re my favourite”, you say, hitting his shoulder.

“y/n, they’re too predictable and full of cliches”

“well, i still love them”, you say, turning to look at the ceiling too.

“action?”, he asks you, turning his face to look at you.

“no, too loud”, you say, looking at him again.

“animated?”

“ugh, no”

he laughs and shakes his head and you continue.

“what about… a comedy?”

he pretends to think for a moment, “... maybe”

“yes!”, you say, throwing your hands into the air, “i will go and choose one”, you say and then you swing your legs over the side of the bed, already walking towards the desk where his laptop is. 

it takes seungmin one second to realise what you’re doing, but it’s already too late, there’s nothing he can do to stop you.

“y/n, wait-”, he says as he stands up too, his entire body shaking, every ounce of blood draining from his face. 

you reach his desk and look at him smiling before you turn to look at the laptop, “oh shush and just let me choose one, trust me i will-”

you stop talking the moment you open his laptop and see the screen, his hand half outstretched between you and the laptop but stopping there, already too late. the screen shows the livestream page, the thumbnail from earlier frozen there - baby blue lace and a woman cropped at the neck, the unmistakable layout of a cam site surrounding the image.

seungmin hopes that he can somehow rewind the last five seconds if he reaches far enough but he can’t, you’ve already seen it. your smile slowly fades as your eyes stay fixed on the screen before you turn towards him.

“seungmin?”

he can’t answer, his mouth opens but nothing comes out. you look back at the laptop then at him again.

“what…”, you say, your voice much quieter now, “w-what is this?”

his heart plummets.

“no-”, he says as he shakes his head, “no, it’s not-”

he doesn’t even know what he’s trying to deny, you haven’t accused him of anything or looked disgusted or even stepped away from him. you’re just… confused.

“i can explain”, he says, his voice cracking “i-i know how this looks, but it’s not-”, he shakes his head again, dragging his hands through his hair so hard it almost hurts, “it’s not what you think”

you remain silent, looking at him, waiting for him to explain.

“i’m not…”, he swallows, “i’m not obsessed with porn or camgirls”, the words sound ridiculous the moment they leave his mouth, “i mean- i don’t- i don’t usually watch things like this, i’ve never done this before”, he says as his face burns and his breathing grows quicker.

he continues as his thoughts tumble over each other faster than he can sort them.

“i just…”, he gestures helplessly towards his laptop, “i was trying to… learn”

you blink, “learn?”

“yes”, he says, “i know that sounds stupid but i just… i don’t know anything”

his words come out so quietly he almost misses them himself, but it’s not something you didn’t know before, you had had your suspicions for a while.

“i’ve never dated anyone or kissed anyone before, let alone know anything about relationships and, well… sex”, he gestures vaguely towards the laptop again, “i don’t know how any of… that works”

he laughs then, a short and miserable laugh before he continues.

“so i read some articles and wrote some things down”

“what, like notes?”, you ask him.

“i colour coded them, yeah”, he says, shaking his head, “but i know that normal people probably don’t write and colour code relationship or sex advice”

you stand there still, looking at him, watching him spiralling too quickly.

“so i decided to… watch some streams because i thought that maybe i’d understand some things. i thought that maybe…”, another helpless laugh, “i don’t know, it could be a kind of research or something”

he winces at his own words, he knows how bad it sounds, and he’s sure you must think he’s crazy. 

“i wasn’t trying to be creepy, i wasn’t trying to- i just-”, his words begin tripping over each other completely, “i wanted to know how to be enough. i wanted to know what people liked. how to make someone feel good. how to make someone- because- i- i just-”

he laughs again, sounding close to tears this time.

“because what if one day… what if one day you…”, the sentence catches in his throat because he knows he shouldn’t say it, he’s already embarrassed enough, but the panic has completely stolen whatever filter he normally has, “because what if one day you said you loved me too?”

he closes his eyes, not wanting to look at you, not wanting to see your reaction in case this is the moment you decide to walk away from him.

“i’ve loved you for years, y/n, ever since we first met to be honest, and i just… i kept thinking that… what if the impossible happened and you loved me too?”, he says, his voice cracking, “and then…”, his breathing stutters, “i kept thinking that you’d realise that i don’t know anything, i don’t know how to kiss someone or how to date, i don’t know…”, he gestures weakly towards the laptop again, “any of that, and then you’d think that i wasn’t good enough, that i’d disappoint you and then you’d leave me”

he says, his throat tightening as another broken laugh escapes him.

“i was trying to learn. i wanted…”, he says as his eyes remain glued to the floor now, “i wanted to be someone worthy of you, someone that could make you feel good in case you wanted me to”

the words barely leave his lips as he remains there, completely frozen and unable to look at you.

“i know how insane this all sounds, i know. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, y/n. i’ll delete everything, i’ll never open that web again, i promise. i didn’t mean for you to-”

“seungmin”, you say, but he doesn’t hear you.

“i’m sorry i just-”

“seungmin”

“i swear i wasn’t-”

“kim seungmin”

you cross the distance between you and his words die the moment your fingers grab his hoodie, so firm that they stop him from spiralling more. you tug enough to make him lift his head, to make him look at you and for the first time since you opened the laptop, slowly and reluctantly, your eyes finally meet. 

he looks at you and sees something he has never seen before. you aren’t angry or embarrassed or even feeling sorry for him. if anything, you look completely in control, there’s a confidence in your posture that he doesn’t recognise. 

something has completely shifted the balance between you, and seungmin’s heartbeat somehow manages to speed up even more. he feels rooted to the floor and then one of your hands rises until your fingertips brush lightly against his cheek, your eyes never leaving his.

“let me see if i’ve understood this correctly”, you say as he watches you, unable to look anywhere else, “you’re in love with me, have been for years”, you say and he manages to nod his head, “and because you’ve never dated anyone…”, you tilt your head thoughtfully, “you convinced yourself you had to learn everything before you could ever have a chance with me”, his lips part but he doesn’t say anything so you continue, “so you started… researching… and ended up watching videos of a girl fucking herself so you could learn things that could make me feel good so you wouldn’t disappoint me if we ever got together… is that it?”

his voice fails completely and all he can do is nod his head again. he stands there looking at you and wondering when exactly you became so effortlessly confident, when you started looking at him like this. you smirk and lean closer then, so close that he can feel your breath near his ear and when you speak again, your voice is barely above a whisper.

“well, it’s a good thing that you picked my videos to learn from”

seungmin swears that everything stops right there and then, his brain refusing to process what you just said.

“my videos”

no, he must have misheard you, surely.

“you’ve got to be kidding me”, that’s what he wants to say but his mouth won’t cooperate with him.

you pull back just enough to see his face and a quiet laugh escapes you, “what? you don’t believe me?”

he still can’t answer, nothing makes sense.

“i suppose i can’t blame you”, you say as you shake your head with an almost fond smile.

without breaking eye contact, your hands move to the zip at the back of your dress and then you open it and let it fall on the floor. seungmin’s eyes widen when he sees it - the baby blue bra. his gaze snaps towards the laptop, to the thumbnail, and then back to you. it’s the same one, he’s completely sure of it. his breathing stops but before he can say anything, both of your hands come up to him again, one cupping his cheek and the other settling at the side of his neck, your thumb resting just beneath his jaw.

“and i think that you’ll also be very glad to know that i’m in love with you too”

before he has a chance to say anything, you lean forward and your lips meet his, the kiss lasting only a heartbeat before surprise catches up with him and then instinct takes over. his eyes flutter close and every anxious thought that’s been racing through his mind for weeks dissolves all at once.

his mouth parts under the pressure of your lips and you slide your tongue past his. his hands hover uselessly at his sides for a second before he puts them on your waist, his fingers twitching like he’s afraid he’ll do something wrong. you don’t give him time to overthink, you lick into his mouth again and he follows you without thinking, his tongue meeting yours. 

you break the kiss only to catch his lower lip between your teeth, tugging before letting go. his eyes are glassy when they open and you smile at him, your hands sliding down to the hem of his hoodie.

“arms up”, you say.

he obeys you instantly and you take his hoodie off, leaving his chest bare, his skin flushed all the way down to his collarbones. you run your palms over his ribs, feeling the way his breath stutters and then you lean to kiss the centre of his chest, making him let out a quiet and broken sound. 

“so… you learnt a lot from my videos, you say?”, you ask against his skin.

seungmin nods his head, completely under your spell now.

“good”, you whisper, “then let’s put it to use”

you kiss him again, harder this time and then you walk him backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. you push lightly on his chest and he sits, then lies down when you follow him onto the mattress. you settle on your back in the middle of the sheets, wearing nothing but the baby blue bra and the matching panties that you hadn’t worn on the stream before. the fabric already clings to you, the crotch visibly darker where you’ve soaked through and seungmin’s gaze drops straight to that wet patch and stays there, his lips parted and his cock visibly twitching inside his grey sweatpants. 

you spread your thighs a little wider, inviting him.

“do whatever you want with me, seungmin”, you say, “whatever you saw me do on camera. whatever you’ve been thinking about all this time”

he swallows hard and then crawls over you on shaky arms. his mouth finds yours again, messy and eager, his hips already rolling down against your thigh in unconscious thrusts. you let him grind against you for a moment, feeling how hard he is, but then you guide his head with a gentle hand on the back of his neck.

seungmin kisses down your throat, across your collarbones, until he reaches the swell of your breasts. his fingers fumble with the bra before he finally opens it and then takes it off of you. he stares at you, his breathing ragged as his eyes stay on your nipples. he leans in and closes his mouth around one, sucking gently and shyly at first, then harder when you sigh and arch into him. his tongue flicks over it and you move your fingers to his hair, holding him there against you.

“that’s it”, you say, the praise warm in your voice, “suck a little harder- yes, just like that”

he moans around your nipple and then moves to the other breast, licking and sucking until both of your nipples are shiny and swollen, as he is completely lost in the taste of you. he moves lower, kissing a trail down your stomach and pressing his lips just above the waistband of your panties. the wet patch has grown and he stares at it before he lowers his head and kisses right over the soaked lace. the heat of his mouth makes you gasp and he does it again, open-mouthed this time, sucking the fabric and the slick underneath.

your hips jerk up and he groans, pressing his face harder against you, licking broad stripes over the lace until it’s completely drenched. 

“fuck, minnie”, you say, your fingers tightening in his hair, “that feels so good. keep going”

he sucks harder then, his tongue pressing the fabric into your folds, and you can feel every desperate noise he makes, every single move of his body against the bed. your thighs tremble around his head and he keep licking and sucking until the lace is dripping. he looks at you and when you nod your head, he hooks his fingers into the waistband and drags the panties down your legs with your help and the moment they’re off, he dives back in, his mouth sealing over your bare cunt now.

“f-fuck… seungmin”

his tongue is hot and eager, licking from your entrance up to your clit before circling there. you moan loud and unrestrained, your hips rolling against his face as he sucks your clit between his lips.

“such a good boy for me- yes, just like that. fuck… your mouth feels amazing”, you say.

seungmin whines against you, your words making him go crazy. he licks lower, pushing his tongue inside you, fucking you with it before returning to your clit, making you scream louder than before. one of his hands slides up your thigh and you feel two fingers press against your entrance. he hesitates at first but then he slides them inside you, stretching you open while his mouth keeps working your clit.

“don’t stop”, you gasp, your back arching off the bed, “i’m gonna come- seungmin, i’m gonna come on your tongue”

he moans desperately and sucks harder, his fingers curling until you finally shatter, your thighs shaking around his head as you ride his mouth through your orgasm. he doesn’t pull away, he licks you through it until you finally go limp, panting.

when you open your eyes, you look at him and find him still between your legs, his face shiny with your juices. but there’s something uneasy in his expression and you reach down and stroke his cheek.

“hey… what’s wrong?”, you ask him softly.

he looks at you shyly, then looks away, his cheeks burning. he moves a bit then and glances down at his own lap. you follow his gaze and you see the front of his grey sweatpants completely dark and soaked, a large wet patch spreading across the fabric. he came untouched, just from eating you out. you feel yourself clench again at the sight, fresh arousal dripping down your thigh. 

“that’s so fucking hot”, you tell him, your voice completely honest and sincere, “you came just from making me come? oh god, seungmin… come here”, you say as you reach for him.

he obeys you instantly, crawling up your body until his face is level with yours. you pull him into a deep kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue, and he moans into your mouth. your hands slide down his back, feeling the way he trembles under your touch, and you kiss him again, slower this time, letting him feel how much you want him. 

your tongues slide together, wet and hungry, both of you breathing hard. you can feel him already getting hard again against your thigh, the sticky mess in his clothes pressing against your skin. you moan into the kiss and he answers with a shaky whimper, completely lost in you.

your hand slips down between your bodies, sliding straight under the waistband of his sweatpants and into his boxers. the moment your fingers wrap around his cock, still sticky from his earlier orgasm, seungmin whines into your mouth, the sound high and needy. his hips jerk forward instinctively, pushing his cock into your palm as if he can’t help himself. you stroke him slowly at first, feeling how he gets hard again, the precum already beading at the tip one more time.

“y/n…”, he moans against your mouth.

“shh, it’s okay”, you murmur, “you’re such a good student, minnie. but i need to see what else you learnt from watching me”

you pump his cock with a firm rhythm, your thumb circling the sensitive tip on every stroke. his breath stutters and his forehead presses against yours as his hips roll into your hand chasing the friction.

you tug at his sweatpants with your free hand, “help me”

he scrambles to obey, lifting his hips so you can shove both his sweatpants and his boxers down his thighs. he kicks them off the rest of the way, leaving him completely naked now. the moment he’s free, he crawls over you again, settling between your spread legs and his cock, flushed and leaking, brushed against your inner thigh. he looks at you with wide and bright eyes, completely under your control, letting you do whatever you want with him.

you reach down and wrap your fingers around his cock again, guiding the tip to your entrance. 

“you ready?”, you ask him, your eyes locked on his.

seungmin just nods, desperate for you, and then he crashes his mouth back onto yours as you line him up. he pushes forward slowly, a bit unsure but so desperate and needy for you that he doesn’t care. a broken moan escapes him and he trembles above you, his arms shaking as he sinks deeper slowly. 

“you feel so good already, minnie. that’s it, take your time. you’re doing so well, my good boy”

he bottoms out with a shaky gasp, buried to the hilt inside you. his forehead drops to your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath, as he tries to stop himself from coming again already. you clench around him and he whimpers, his hips twitching. 

“y-y/n”, he says, his voice trembling.

“come on”, you whisper, nipping at his ear, “show me how much you learnt”

seungmin starts with slow and careful thrusts, pulling almost all the way out before sliding back in. each drag of his cock against your walls makes you moan and you encourage him with kisses and bites on his skin.

“harder. yes, just like that”, you say.

his pace gradually picks up, his hips snapping forward with growing confidence.

“f-fuck… you’re so tight”, he says, his voice breaking, “you feel so good”

you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, “don’t stop. fuck me harder seungmin, i wanna feel you”

he starts moving faster, the bed creaking beneath you. your hands roam his back, your nails dragging down his spine as he fucks you with increasing urgency. both of you are loud now, your cries mixing with his broken moans and desperate grunts. when he’s right on the edge, his hand slides between your bodies until his fingers find your clit and he rubs it the way he watched you do on the livestreams.

your orgasm crashes through you without warning then, making you cry out his name as your walls pulse around his cock. the tight squeeze pushes seungmin over too and you come together, both of you screaming and groaning as you break at the same time.

you both tremble together as you come down from your climaxes, breathing hard. he lies on top of you and you turn your head just enough to kiss him slowly, and when you pull back, a teasing smile curves your mouth.

“so… you couldn’t stop watching my videos, huh?”

his face burns and he tries to hide against your neck, but you just laugh softly and stroke his hair.

“congratulations on ruining my life”, he mumbles against your skin.

you laugh louder this time and move his head just enough to kiss him again.

“you’ve ruined me too, you know”, you say, before you lean in and peck his lips again, “but the good thing is that there’s still so much more i can teach you”, you say, pressing a kiss to his temple this time, “and i’m happy to, whenever you want”

he lifts his head, his eyes soft and shining, and he smiles before leaning in to kiss you again, slow and sweet, the perfect ending to his…

research.

a/n: our sweet puppy’s part is up!! again thank you all soooo much for all your love and support, i’m so happy you all love this series as much as i do 🩷 i hope you’re ready for what’s next: our sunshine brownie boy 😏

the library

likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🌟

dividers by my darling @lariesographic 🩷

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[starlostjisung]

live: unfiltered taglist 2: @brekkers-whore @captainchrisstan @ivydoesit23 @dennybennyy @tsumiyaa @baedreamverse @tboboee @cutiebooty123 @itsraininghyunebuckets @ughyeka @elmistay @boromirmylove @bee-gremlin @minterrlude @b-tangkitten @iambangchanswife @skzknife @kaylovesskz @greywritesthings @d4ily-s-nsh1ne

[starlostjisung]

breaking news: i'm an idiot

pairing: seungmin x reader

genre: friends to lovers; smut

wc: 8.4k

warnings: unprotected sex; sub!seungmin; oral sex (f!receiving); fingering; handjob; dry humping; use of toys; praising; dirty talk; voyeurism; exhibitionism

summary: sweet and innocent seungmin fell for a girl he wished he could have and he also became obsessed with a girl he didn’t know. some secrets aren’t meant to stay hidden and he is about to learn that the hard way

live: unfiltered series

kim seungmin is the smart, annoying friend who always reminds everyone about deadlines two weeks in advance. he is the boy who carries a bag heavier than his own body because he insists on bringing every book “just in case”. he is the boy who sighs whenever one of your friends makes a stupid decision but then immediately helps them anyway.

kim seungmin is the boy who complains the loudest and loves the hardest. 

he loves studying and he loves his colour coded notes and neat handwriting and he also loves getting the highest grade and acting like he doesn’t care much about it.

he likes his routines - waking up at eight, having coffee with exactly one sugar, listening to the same playlists over and over again, walking to university instead of taking the bus because he likes to dedicate those extra fifteen minutes to think.

his life is simple, comfortable and very predictable. or at least most of it is, except for the parts of his life that concern you. 

not that he ever tells you this, god forbid.

because seungmin is brave enough to argue with your professors, brave enough to tell strangers when they’re wrong, brave enough to stand up for every single one of your friends. but when it comes to you? he is pathetic, absolutely hopeless.

you had met years ago during your first year at university, he remembers it with embarrassing clarity - you were sitting one row ahead of him, your hair messy because you had been late to class and your cheeks still red from running across campus. the professor had asked a question and you - very confidently, he has to say - had given the wrong answer. he had laughed at your answer, like a full and proper snort escaped him, and you just turned around and glared at him, making him freeze in his seat. 

“you think it’s funny?”, you had asked him, narrowing your eyes.

he stopped laughing immediately and shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours, and somehow, that was your beginning, because your hatred for him lasted only those twenty seconds, maybe even less, and after that, your friendship began.

now you are inseparable and seungmin thinks that everything about you two is normal, or at least he likes to pretend that it’s normal when he texts you good morning every day, when he walks on the side closest to traffic when you’re together, when he keeps your favourite snacks in his bag, when he knows which things make your eyes light up and when he knows when you’re lying about being okay.

sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself, and maybe that’s exactly why he’s doomed, because he is completely and utterly in love with you. he knows it, and he also knows that it’s embarrassing and stupid, because now everything revolves around you. every accomplishment means nothing if he can’t tell you first and every joke becomes funnier if you laugh at it.

he tries to ignore his feelings at first, but of course, he fails miserably, because every time you smile at him, his brain short circuits. he’s completely gone and every single one of your friends knows it.

“you are disgusting”, changbin tells him one day.

seungmin frowns, “i’m literally doing nothing”

“you’re staring at y/n as she walks away”

he scoffs and ignores him, but he spends the next ten minutes wondering if it’s so obvious that everyone can see it. well, everyone except you. or maybe you do see it and you just haven’t said anything because you don’t feel the same way and you want to be nice, to still be friends.

seungmin doesn’t know and he’s too scared to find out, so he settles for your friendship and your late night phone calls as well as your movie nights and walking you home every time you go out. 

but he also likes to think that maybe, just maybe, the universe will help him someday, and maybe one day you’ll realise how he looks at you and you’ll look at him the same way. 

but until then, he just wants to be enough for you, your best friend and the person you can rely on. he wants to be good for you, in every possible way, even in ways that he doesn’t understand yet, which becomes a problem because unlike most of your friends, seungmin has exactly zero experience when it comes to romance, and even less when it comes to sex.

zero, nothing, nada. 

he’s never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone, never gone on a proper date. the closest thing he has to experience is reading awkward advice forums at three in the morning, which he thinks it’s ridiculous, because now, he’s twenty-something and your last year at university is finally here. 

he’s an adult and he still blushes whenever your friends make dirty jokes, he still coughs awkwardly and looks away when there’s a sex scene on tv, and he still pretends to check his phone whenever your friends talk about who they went home with the night before or how many times they came that weekend.

it’s embarrassing, especially because lately he can’t stop thinking about you. not in a bad way, no, not because he wants to disrespect you, it’s quite the opposite really. he likes you so much that he wants to understand relationships better, he wants to know what to do to make you happy, he wants to know how to be caring and gentle but also rough, he wants to know how to make you feel good just in case he ever has the chance to.

so he decides to do some research, because that’s what he always does, research everything. he starts with educational websites, reading some articles and medical journals as well as safe relationship guides. 

he takes notes - yes, actual notes - and reads for hours, learning absolutely nothing useful because every single web says the same things: communicate with your partner, respect your boundaries, be honest, don’t force things… and they are good points obviously, but it’s nothing he didn’t know before and they don’t answer the questions he’s too embarrassed to say out loud.

what if he’s awkward?

what if he’s inexperienced forever?

what if one day you like him back and he disappoints you?

what if you decide to walk away from him? 

those questions keep him awake at night, so eventually, and hesitantly, with his face burning bright red, and in the privacy of his room when he knows changbin is already sleeping in his, he starts looking elsewhere, on different pages, pages where people share their experiences. then he moves to pages where people share videos, pages he had never dared visit before.

he sees one that’s a bit different from the others, a page that shows livestreams too, not just recordings. his cursor hovers over the link for a bit before he rubs his face. he tells himself that this is only to find and learn new things, that he’s only doing this because he has been hopelessly in love with you for years and wants to learn every way to hopefully make you feel good one day, to not make a fool of himself and learn things that you may like. 

his hand hesitates a bit more and then with a racing heart and enough embarrassment to last a lifetime, he decides to explore a world he knows absolutely nothing about and clicks on the link. the screen flashes and a new tab opens, bathing his dorm room in the pale blue glow of it. he sees multiple videos at first before he opens one where a girl is in nothing but a thin white tank top and panties, sitting cross-legged on her bed. her nipples are already stiff against the fabric and she keeps rubbing herself through her underwear, the damp spot growing darker with every pass.

seungmin’s throat goes dry and he closes the livestream fast.

he opens a new one, the girl there naked from her waist down as she fingers herself with two fingers. he sees the chat going crazy, people sending donations and comments, and when he feels his face burn again he closes that livestream too.

another click, another girl, this time lying on her back with her legs spread wide. the livestream doesn’t fully load before seungmin closes that one too, his heart hammering inside his chest. 

he keeps clicking, each new livestream more explicit than the last and then, he finds one that makes him stop when he opens it.

the girl is on her knees in the centre of her bed, her face carefully cropped out of frame. she is wearing a black bra and matching panties and something about the way she moves makes seungmin freeze. she reaches up and cups her breasts over the bra, her thumbs brushing back and forth over her nipples. from the corner of his eye, seungmin can see the chat going crazy, as the comments and donations never stop.

leethighs: fuck yes

aussielord: i’m so hard take everything off 

the girl ignores the comment and keeps touching herself, squeezing and rubbing until her breathing grows heavier. seungmin swallows hard and his hand drifts down without permission and presses against the growing bulge in his pants which he didn’t realise until now. every single sound that comes from the girl makes his stomach twist with a confusing mix of shame and heat and even though he tells himself he is only doing this for research, his cock is already hard and ready to explode. 

the girl on the screen hooks her thumbs into her panties and moves just enough to push them down her thighs and kick them off. then she reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, leaving her completely naked, with her knees spread and her cunt on full display. the camera angle is low enough that seungmin can see everything, including her folds and the way her clit peeks out when she moves. 

she reaches down and traces two fingers along her folds, a moan slipping out of her. seungmin’s hand moves on its own, taking his cock out and giving it one slow stroke, biting his lip to keep quiet. the girl spreads her legs wider and uses her fingers to part her folds, showing the camera how wet she already is. she circles her clit a few times and then slides one finger inside herself, moaning again.

seungmin’s grip tightens and he strokes himself in time with her movements, his eyes glued to the screen, completely hypnotised. 

quokkjone: fuck yourself for us

midnightwolf: such a good girl

maknaeontop: i’m gonna come just watching you

artprince69: add another finger

the girl obeys this time and pushes a second finger inside herself as her hips rock forward to meet her own hand. her moans grow breathier and higher, she’s almost screaming now, letting the sounds fall out of her as she fucks herself harder. 

seungmin’s hand moves faster, his eyes locked on the girl’s cunt, watching the way her fingers disappear inside her again and again. he imagines what it would feel like to be the one inside her, no, how it would feel like to be inside you, making you scream like the girl in the livestream is doing right now. he imagines you, spread open like that for him, begging for him, and the thought alone makes his cock twitch hard in his fist, his orgasm growing faster and unstoppable now. 

the girl adds a third finger, her moans turning into cries now. her free hand moves to pinch one nipple, the chat going feral at this point.

maknaeontop: you look so pretty like this fuck

leethighs: three fingers in i bet you like it rough

he is panting now, trying to stay quiet and not wake changbin up, but he can’t stop looking at the girl and how her fingers keep moving as her moans never stop. her thighs start to tremble and then she comes hard, her juices leaking out around her fingers as she keeps rubbing her clit through her orgasm. 

seungmin’s stokes grow frantic and then his orgasm hits him like a punch, his hips jerking as his cum shoots across his stomach and hand, his vision going white for a second. he keeps stroking his cock through his orgasm, milking every drop as he watches the girl on screen pull her fingers out. she leans forward just enough for the camera to catch the movement of her hand and then, she waves once and ends the stream. 

seungmin sits there in the sudden silence, the screen with the image of the girl close to the camera now, his chest heaving and his cock softening in his sticky hand. his cum is cooling on his skin as he stares at the “stream ended” message. he feels his face burn with embarrassment, he hadn’t meant for this to happen. he just wanted to learn, to understand, to find things, to hopefully be good for you one day.

instead he had just jerked off to a stranger while imagining it was you who was spread open and screaming for him.

two weeks, fourteen days, that’s long enough for everyone to notice how seungmin keeps disappearing. not completely, because he still shows up to every class and hands in every assignment on time, but the moment class ends, he’s gone.

he doesn’t linger in the hallway, he doesn’t grab coffee with all of you, there’s no spontaneous movie nights, no teasing you until you threaten to throw your book at him. nothing, he always has an excuse.

“i can’t, i have to study”

“not today, i have to do some research for a project” 

to be honest they’re believable excuses, they’re seungmin excuses, and nobody questions them. and to be fair, he really does some research, just not the one you all expected him to do.

the first livestream should have been the last one, that’s the first thing he told himself the morning after he watched it. he woke up and deleted his browser history, then avoided opening his laptop for almost the entire day. he promised himself that what had happened was a mistake born from curiosity and that he would move on and forget it happened.

but what happened instead was that that same evening, he caught himself wondering if that girl would stream again that day, then he opened his laptop and found the page and the same girl again, embarrassingly fast he has to admit. he told himself he would look at the account for a minute, just to prove himself that the fascination was gone.

but it wasn’t.

one minute became thirty and thirty became an hour and then he had learnt the days she usually goes live, according to the schedule she had posted. and without meaning to, he started planning his days around her schedule and whenever there wasn’t a livestream, he would watch the old ones, archived in previous recordings. 

there are lots of them, more than he expected, and the girl always starts and ends the livestream with a small wave, which makes her seem less like a stranger. that thought unsettles him a bit because he knows he shouldn’t feel familiar with someone he’s never met, he shouldn’t feel familiar with a girl who he watches with her fingers buried deep inside her as his hand strokes his cock wishing it was someone else’s hand instead.

he wonders why he feels so familiar with her and then, one day, he realises the reason he can’t look away, the reason why something about her has felt strangely familiar from the very beginning - it’s her silhouette, her body.

it reminds him of you, of your body.

when he realises, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. he hates himself for even thinking about it because it feels invasive, wrong. the comparison comes from last summer when you all went on a weekend trip and he saw you wearing your bikini when you went to the beach. it wasn’t too revealing, just a normal bikini, but he remembers how hard he had tried not to stare at you, how hard he had to convince himself he wasn’t staring.

apparently his memory had been sharper than he realised.

now whenever he sees that girl, he sees you. he sees her body and wishes it was yours, he sees her fingers parting her folds and circling her clit and he wishes it was your fingers entering you instead. or even better, he wishes that girl was you and he was the one who had his fingers inside you, well his fingers or whatever it was that you wanted from him. 

and every time he sees you now, the real you and not a figure of his imagination when he has his hands on his cock, guilt settles in his chest like a stone. because even though this all started with him wanting to learn and be good for a possible, hypothetical future where you two are together, the reality now is that he will masturbate while he watches a stranger and thinks about you. he wonders when things got out of hand. 

so, when the second saturday after his little livestreams adventure started comes, all of your friends plan to go to the cinema and have dinner outside, just a little break from all your exams and what not. but to no one’s surprise, seungmin decides to stay in, because he has to do some…

‘research’

changbin says goodbye and clicks the door of their dorm shut behind him. seungmin waits one minute, then a bit more, and only when he’s completely sure that changbin won’t suddenly come back because he forgot his wallet or his phone or something, he closes the door of his room and reaches for his laptop. he opens the page that he knows by heart already and then, enters the account and a small message appears at the top.

live in five minutes.

his heart is already pounding like he had run up four flights of stairs. he shifts in his chair, already half-hard from the anticipation alone and he wipes his sweaty palms on his thighs. then the stream loads and the live begins.

the girl is on her knees in the middle of her bed, her face cropped out like always. she’s wearing a baby blue lace bra that barely qualifies as clothing, leaving very little to the imagination, if anything at all, and the delicate cups are sheer enough that her nipples are seen through the fabric. she’s not wearing panties this time, her bare hips and thighs are on full display, but because of how she’s sitting, her cunt isn’t visible for now. seungmin’s cock gives a hard and immediate twitch inside his boxers.

the girl lifts one hand and gives the camera that same familiar wave and the chat starts working, people already sending their comments and donations.

artprince69: fuck yeah she’s back

quokkjone: that bra and no panties? you’re criminal

aussielord: take it off already

seungmin’s mouth goes dry and he presses the heel of his hand against his swelling cock while he bites his lip. the girl brings both hands up to cup her breasts over the lace, her thumbs dragging slow circles over her nipples until the fabric tents even more. the lace looks so delicate against her skin that seungmin can almost feel how soft it is.

she reaches off-screen for a moment and when her hand comes back into frame, it’s holding something new - a big and thick dildo. seungmin lets out an involuntary groan, his cock getting harder just from imagining what she’s gonna do. she has never used a toy on a live before and the sight of it in her hand makes his cock throb painfully.

the chat goes feral, more donations coming and the comments going absolutely crazy.

leethighs: ride that until you squirt 

maknaeontop: i wish it was my cock instead

midnightwolf: the princess wants to play with fire tonight

seungmin shoves his clothes to his thighs until his cock springs free, already leaking. he wraps his hand around the base and gives one slow stroke as his eyes stay locked on the girl. she leans forwards just enough for her mouth to enter the frame and then she parts her lips and lets a long and thick string of spit drip from her tongue onto the tip of the dildo. the saliva runs down the toy and she uses her hand to spread it, making it slick and shiny.

seungmin’s grip tightens, as he imagines that spit was yours and that toy was his cock, he imagines that you were the one getting it ready for him, and that thought makes his hips jerk upwards into his hand.

the girl shifts on the bed, spreading her knees wider, letting everyone see her cunt now, her clit peeking out and her entrance clenching visibly as she positions herself. she holds the dildo beneath her and then begins to lower herself. seungmin’s breath punches out of him in a ragged moan as the toy disappears inside her. she pauses halfway, breathing hard, and then sinks the rest of the way until her ass meets the bed and the toy is completely inside her, a broken moan slipping out of her.

seungmin strokes himself faster, matching her pace as she begins to move, rising up until just the tip remains inside her and then dropping back down, taking every inch again. one of her hands comes up to squeeze her breasts through the lace, pinching her nipple hard enough to make her scream. 

aussielord: that’s it keep riding that toy sunshine

artprince69: fuck i already came from seeing this

midnightwolf: good girl, taking it like a champ 

seungmin barely registers the comments, as his hand keeps flying up and down his cock. in his mind the girl on screen is you, he pictures your body in that baby blue lace and your cunt swallowing his cock instead of the toy, your moans and screams filling his room instead of hers. he imagines reaching up to tug the bra down, freeing your breasts so he can suck on your nipples while you ride him.

the girl starts riding the toy faster, her moans almost desperate now. her free hand moves to her clit, her thighs shaking with the new sensation. the dildo is soaked, shiny with her arousal and every time she lifts off it leaves a string of wetness connecting her pussy to the toy, and the only thing seungmins wants to do is lick it clean. he can feel his orgasm building fast, hotter and heavier than anything he has felt before.

the girl’s movements grow erratic and then her back arches and she finally comes, screaming as one of her hands keeps pinching her nipple and the other circles her clit. a long and broken cry tears from her throat and seungmin comes with her, his cum shooting from his cock and splattering across his hand, his thighs and his t-shirt. the mess is everywhere but he can’t stop looking at the girl and how her cunt still flutters around the dildo.

she lifts herself off the toy slowly, and then she holds the glistening toy up for the camera one last time. she leans forward just enough to wave goodbye and then ends the livestream, the thumbnail of the video being a full and clear image of the baby blue lace bra and her nipples still visible through the lace.

seungmin sits there staring at it, his chest heaving and his cock softening in his hand. his thighs are still shaking and even though that guilt and heat start a war in his chest again, the image of that bra on the screen stays burned behind his eyelids, he can’t look away. his breathing is still uneven, his heart refusing to settle as guilt washes over him.

he drags a trembling hand over his face, “what is wrong with me…”

he doesn’t close the page, he can’t - the thumbnail remains on the screen, frozen exactly where the stream ended. he snaps the laptop shut, hiding the screen for now, pretending that this never happened. he lets out a long breath and then stands up, moving to grab a clean towel and then heading straight for the bathroom.

the cold water from the shower spills over his shoulders, making him flinch immediately. he welcomes it and hopes that it will help him, because he is still thinking about the girl and you, which makes him half-hard again. 

it helps a little but not enough to erase the embarrassment nor to erase the fact that every time he closes his eyes, he sees fragments of the live replaying in his mind, hoping it was you instead. he presses both hands against the wall, shaking his head.

“this is getting ridiculous”, he says to no one in particular.

it is getting a bit ridiculous if he has to be honest, because he started doing this so he could learn and find things that you could like and now? he’s in his dorm, organising his days around a girl he’s never met, making excuses to his friends and avoiding the one person he actually wants to spend time with.

you. 

the irony isn’t lost on him.

when he finishes showering, he goes to his room and pulls on a hoodie and a pair of grey sweatpants and then goes to the kitchen. he opens the cupboards, staring blankly inside, trying to choose what to eat but before he can pull something off the shelf, the bell rings. seungming freezes, he’s not expecting anyone, changbin would use the code and all of your friends are at the cinema. 

another knock, softer this time, and then a voice, “seungmin?”

his heart stops when he realises it’s your voice. every guilty thought crashes back into him all at once and then he quickly smooths down the front of his hoodie as though that somehow could wash away all of them.

“coming!”, he says, his voice cracking.

wonderful.

he walks to the door, clears his throat and then opens it. you’re standing there with an overnight bag over your shoulder and a plastic bag dangling from your wrist.  

you grin the moment you see him, “hello stranger”

“i…”, he says, blinking, “i thought everyone was going to the cinema”

“they are”, you say and he frowns, “but i knew you weren’t gonna go, so i came here instead”

his ears immediately burn, “i’ve been busy”

“mmhm”, you say, not sounding very convinced.

“i really was”, he says.

“mmhm”, you say again. 

before he can think of another excuse, you slip past him into the dorm as though you’ve done it a thousand times before, which you have to be honest. 

“okay so seeing that you’ve been so… “busy”, we’re gonna have our own movie night”, you say as you turn to look at him and hold up the bag you have with you.

he walks towards you and looks inside - he sees popcorn, chocolate, cookies, his favourite drink, your favourite candy.

“you know you can't just invite yourself over, you know?”, he says, teasing you, trying to act as normal as he can.

“too bad i already did”, you say, giving him the bag and then turning around, walking towards his room. 

he walks to the kitchen again just as he hears the squeak of his bed when you flop onto it, before you speak again.

“seungmin!”

“what?”, he says from the kitchen.

“bring food”

“you already brought food”

“no, i brought my food”

he laughs without looking at you, the knot in his chest loosening just a little.

“you’re unbelievable”, he says to himself, but somehow you still hear him.

“i know!”

he shakes his head, unable to stop smiling. he gets some of your snacks and also others for him because you’re really serious about your food and not sharing it and he learnt that lesson the hard way. he then walks to his room, settling everything down on the desk, beside his laptop, before he clumps onto the bed with you. 

“so”, he says, “what are we watching?”

you gasp and turn to look at him, “you mean i get to choose?”

“i didn’t say that”, he says, turning to look at you.

“you implied it”

“i absolutely didn’t”

“you did”

“i really didn’t”

you stick your tongue at him and he laughs, turning to look at the ceiling.

“okay, so… romance?”, you say.

“absolutely no”

“minnie!”

“what?”

“why not? you know they’re my favourite”, you say, hitting his shoulder.

“y/n, they’re too predictable and full of cliches”

“well, i still love them”, you say, turning to look at the ceiling too.

“action?”, he asks you, turning his face to look at you.

“no, too loud”, you say, looking at him again.

“animated?”

“ugh, no”

he laughs and shakes his head and you continue.

“what about… a comedy?”

he pretends to think for a moment, “... maybe”

“yes!”, you say, throwing your hands into the air, “i will go and choose one”, you say and then you swing your legs over the side of the bed, already walking towards the desk where his laptop is. 

it takes seungmin one second to realise what you’re doing, but it’s already too late, there’s nothing he can do to stop you.

“y/n, wait-”, he says as he stands up too, his entire body shaking, every ounce of blood draining from his face. 

you reach his desk and look at him smiling before you turn to look at the laptop, “oh shush and just let me choose one, trust me i will-”

you stop talking the moment you open his laptop and see the screen, his hand half outstretched between you and the laptop but stopping there, already too late. the screen shows the livestream page, the thumbnail from earlier frozen there - baby blue lace and a woman cropped at the neck, the unmistakable layout of a cam site surrounding the image.

seungmin hopes that he can somehow rewind the last five seconds if he reaches far enough but he can’t, you’ve already seen it. your smile slowly fades as your eyes stay fixed on the screen before you turn towards him.

“seungmin?”

he can’t answer, his mouth opens but nothing comes out. you look back at the laptop then at him again.

“what…”, you say, your voice much quieter now, “w-what is this?”

his heart plummets.

“no-”, he says as he shakes his head, “no, it’s not-”

he doesn’t even know what he’s trying to deny, you haven’t accused him of anything or looked disgusted or even stepped away from him. you’re just… confused.

“i can explain”, he says, his voice cracking “i-i know how this looks, but it’s not-”, he shakes his head again, dragging his hands through his hair so hard it almost hurts, “it’s not what you think”

you remain silent, looking at him, waiting for him to explain.

“i’m not…”, he swallows, “i’m not obsessed with porn or camgirls”, the words sound ridiculous the moment they leave his mouth, “i mean- i don’t- i don’t usually watch things like this, i’ve never done this before”, he says as his face burns and his breathing grows quicker.

he continues as his thoughts tumble over each other faster than he can sort them.

“i just…”, he gestures helplessly towards his laptop, “i was trying to… learn”

you blink, “learn?”

“yes”, he says, “i know that sounds stupid but i just… i don’t know anything”

his words come out so quietly he almost misses them himself, but it’s not something you didn’t know before, you had had your suspicions for a while.

“i’ve never dated anyone or kissed anyone before, let alone know anything about relationships and, well… sex”, he gestures vaguely towards the laptop again, “i don’t know how any of… that works”

he laughs then, a short and miserable laugh before he continues.

“so i read some articles and wrote some things down”

“what, like notes?”, you ask him.

“i colour coded them, yeah”, he says, shaking his head, “but i know that normal people probably don’t write and colour code relationship or sex advice”

you stand there still, looking at him, watching him spiralling too quickly.

“so i decided to… watch some streams because i thought that maybe i’d understand some things. i thought that maybe…”, another helpless laugh, “i don’t know, it could be a kind of research or something”

he winces at his own words, he knows how bad it sounds, and he’s sure you must think he’s crazy. 

“i wasn’t trying to be creepy, i wasn’t trying to- i just-”, his words begin tripping over each other completely, “i wanted to know how to be enough. i wanted to know what people liked. how to make someone feel good. how to make someone- because- i- i just-”

he laughs again, sounding close to tears this time.

“because what if one day… what if one day you…”, the sentence catches in his throat because he knows he shouldn’t say it, he’s already embarrassed enough, but the panic has completely stolen whatever filter he normally has, “because what if one day you said you loved me too?”

he closes his eyes, not wanting to look at you, not wanting to see your reaction in case this is the moment you decide to walk away from him.

“i’ve loved you for years, y/n, ever since we first met to be honest, and i just… i kept thinking that… what if the impossible happened and you loved me too?”, he says, his voice cracking, “and then…”, his breathing stutters, “i kept thinking that you’d realise that i don’t know anything, i don’t know how to kiss someone or how to date, i don’t know…”, he gestures weakly towards the laptop again, “any of that, and then you’d think that i wasn’t good enough, that i’d disappoint you and then you’d leave me”

he says, his throat tightening as another broken laugh escapes him.

“i was trying to learn. i wanted…”, he says as his eyes remain glued to the floor now, “i wanted to be someone worthy of you, someone that could make you feel good in case you wanted me to”

the words barely leave his lips as he remains there, completely frozen and unable to look at you.

“i know how insane this all sounds, i know. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, y/n. i’ll delete everything, i’ll never open that web again, i promise. i didn’t mean for you to-”

“seungmin”, you say, but he doesn’t hear you.

“i’m sorry i just-”

“seungmin”

“i swear i wasn’t-”

“kim seungmin”

you cross the distance between you and his words die the moment your fingers grab his hoodie, so firm that they stop him from spiralling more. you tug enough to make him lift his head, to make him look at you and for the first time since you opened the laptop, slowly and reluctantly, your eyes finally meet. 

he looks at you and sees something he has never seen before. you aren’t angry or embarrassed or even feeling sorry for him. if anything, you look completely in control, there’s a confidence in your posture that he doesn’t recognise. 

something has completely shifted the balance between you, and seungmin’s heartbeat somehow manages to speed up even more. he feels rooted to the floor and then one of your hands rises until your fingertips brush lightly against his cheek, your eyes never leaving his.

“let me see if i’ve understood this correctly”, you say as he watches you, unable to look anywhere else, “you’re in love with me, have been for years”, you say and he manages to nod his head, “and because you’ve never dated anyone…”, you tilt your head thoughtfully, “you convinced yourself you had to learn everything before you could ever have a chance with me”, his lips part but he doesn’t say anything so you continue, “so you started… researching… and ended up watching videos of a girl fucking herself so you could learn things that could make me feel good so you wouldn’t disappoint me if we ever got together… is that it?”

his voice fails completely and all he can do is nod his head again. he stands there looking at you and wondering when exactly you became so effortlessly confident, when you started looking at him like this. you smirk and lean closer then, so close that he can feel your breath near his ear and when you speak again, your voice is barely above a whisper.

“well, it’s a good thing that you picked my videos to learn from”

seungmin swears that everything stops right there and then, his brain refusing to process what you just said.

“my videos”

no, he must have misheard you, surely.

“you’ve got to be kidding me”, that’s what he wants to say but his mouth won’t cooperate with him.

you pull back just enough to see his face and a quiet laugh escapes you, “what? you don’t believe me?”

he still can’t answer, nothing makes sense.

“i suppose i can’t blame you”, you say as you shake your head with an almost fond smile.

without breaking eye contact, your hands move to the zip at the back of your dress and then you open it and let it fall on the floor. seungmin’s eyes widen when he sees it - the baby blue bra. his gaze snaps towards the laptop, to the thumbnail, and then back to you. it’s the same one, he’s completely sure of it. his breathing stops but before he can say anything, both of your hands come up to him again, one cupping his cheek and the other settling at the side of his neck, your thumb resting just beneath his jaw.

“and i think that you’ll also be very glad to know that i’m in love with you too”

before he has a chance to say anything, you lean forward and your lips meet his, the kiss lasting only a heartbeat before surprise catches up with him and then instinct takes over. his eyes flutter close and every anxious thought that’s been racing through his mind for weeks dissolves all at once.

his mouth parts under the pressure of your lips and you slide your tongue past his. his hands hover uselessly at his sides for a second before he puts them on your waist, his fingers twitching like he’s afraid he’ll do something wrong. you don’t give him time to overthink, you lick into his mouth again and he follows you without thinking, his tongue meeting yours. 

you break the kiss only to catch his lower lip between your teeth, tugging before letting go. his eyes are glassy when they open and you smile at him, your hands sliding down to the hem of his hoodie.

“arms up”, you say.

he obeys you instantly and you take his hoodie off, leaving his chest bare, his skin flushed all the way down to his collarbones. you run your palms over his ribs, feeling the way his breath stutters and then you lean to kiss the centre of his chest, making him let out a quiet and broken sound. 

“so… you learnt a lot from my videos, you say?”, you ask against his skin.

seungmin nods his head, completely under your spell now.

“good”, you whisper, “then let’s put it to use”

you kiss him again, harder this time and then you walk him backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. you push lightly on his chest and he sits, then lies down when you follow him onto the mattress. you settle on your back in the middle of the sheets, wearing nothing but the baby blue bra and the matching panties that you hadn’t worn on the stream before. the fabric already clings to you, the crotch visibly darker where you’ve soaked through and seungmin’s gaze drops straight to that wet patch and stays there, his lips parted and his cock visibly twitching inside his grey sweatpants. 

you spread your thighs a little wider, inviting him.

“do whatever you want with me, seungmin”, you say, “whatever you saw me do on camera. whatever you’ve been thinking about all this time”

he swallows hard and then crawls over you on shaky arms. his mouth finds yours again, messy and eager, his hips already rolling down against your thigh in unconscious thrusts. you let him grind against you for a moment, feeling how hard he is, but then you guide his head with a gentle hand on the back of his neck.

seungmin kisses down your throat, across your collarbones, until he reaches the swell of your breasts. his fingers fumble with the bra before he finally opens it and then takes it off of you. he stares at you, his breathing ragged as his eyes stay on your nipples. he leans in and closes his mouth around one, sucking gently and shyly at first, then harder when you sigh and arch into him. his tongue flicks over it and you move your fingers to his hair, holding him there against you.

“that’s it”, you say, the praise warm in your voice, “suck a little harder- yes, just like that”

he moans around your nipple and then moves to the other breast, licking and sucking until both of your nipples are shiny and swollen, as he is completely lost in the taste of you. he moves lower, kissing a trail down your stomach and pressing his lips just above the waistband of your panties. the wet patch has grown and he stares at it before he lowers his head and kisses right over the soaked lace. the heat of his mouth makes you gasp and he does it again, open-mouthed this time, sucking the fabric and the slick underneath.

your hips jerk up and he groans, pressing his face harder against you, licking broad stripes over the lace until it’s completely drenched. 

“fuck, minnie”, you say, your fingers tightening in his hair, “that feels so good. keep going”

he sucks harder then, his tongue pressing the fabric into your folds, and you can feel every desperate noise he makes, every single move of his body against the bed. your thighs tremble around his head and he keep licking and sucking until the lace is dripping. he looks at you and when you nod your head, he hooks his fingers into the waistband and drags the panties down your legs with your help and the moment they’re off, he dives back in, his mouth sealing over your bare cunt now.

“f-fuck… seungmin”

his tongue is hot and eager, licking from your entrance up to your clit before circling there. you moan loud and unrestrained, your hips rolling against his face as he sucks your clit between his lips.

“such a good boy for me- yes, just like that. fuck… your mouth feels amazing”, you say.

seungmin whines against you, your words making him go crazy. he licks lower, pushing his tongue inside you, fucking you with it before returning to your clit, making you scream louder than before. one of his hands slides up your thigh and you feel two fingers press against your entrance. he hesitates at first but then he slides them inside you, stretching you open while his mouth keeps working your clit.

“don’t stop”, you gasp, your back arching off the bed, “i’m gonna come- seungmin, i’m gonna come on your tongue”

he moans desperately and sucks harder, his fingers curling until you finally shatter, your thighs shaking around his head as you ride his mouth through your orgasm. he doesn’t pull away, he licks you through it until you finally go limp, panting.

when you open your eyes, you look at him and find him still between your legs, his face shiny with your juices. but there’s something uneasy in his expression and you reach down and stroke his cheek.

“hey… what’s wrong?”, you ask him softly.

he looks at you shyly, then looks away, his cheeks burning. he moves a bit then and glances down at his own lap. you follow his gaze and you see the front of his grey sweatpants completely dark and soaked, a large wet patch spreading across the fabric. he came untouched, just from eating you out. you feel yourself clench again at the sight, fresh arousal dripping down your thigh. 

“that’s so fucking hot”, you tell him, your voice completely honest and sincere, “you came just from making me come? oh god, seungmin… come here”, you say as you reach for him.

he obeys you instantly, crawling up your body until his face is level with yours. you pull him into a deep kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue, and he moans into your mouth. your hands slide down his back, feeling the way he trembles under your touch, and you kiss him again, slower this time, letting him feel how much you want him. 

your tongues slide together, wet and hungry, both of you breathing hard. you can feel him already getting hard again against your thigh, the sticky mess in his clothes pressing against your skin. you moan into the kiss and he answers with a shaky whimper, completely lost in you.

your hand slips down between your bodies, sliding straight under the waistband of his sweatpants and into his boxers. the moment your fingers wrap around his cock, still sticky from his earlier orgasm, seungmin whines into your mouth, the sound high and needy. his hips jerk forward instinctively, pushing his cock into your palm as if he can’t help himself. you stroke him slowly at first, feeling how he gets hard again, the precum already beading at the tip one more time.

“y/n…”, he moans against your mouth.

“shh, it’s okay”, you murmur, “you’re such a good student, minnie. but i need to see what else you learnt from watching me”

you pump his cock with a firm rhythm, your thumb circling the sensitive tip on every stroke. his breath stutters and his forehead presses against yours as his hips roll into your hand chasing the friction.

you tug at his sweatpants with your free hand, “help me”

he scrambles to obey, lifting his hips so you can shove both his sweatpants and his boxers down his thighs. he kicks them off the rest of the way, leaving him completely naked now. the moment he’s free, he crawls over you again, settling between your spread legs and his cock, flushed and leaking, brushed against your inner thigh. he looks at you with wide and bright eyes, completely under your control, letting you do whatever you want with him.

you reach down and wrap your fingers around his cock again, guiding the tip to your entrance. 

“you ready?”, you ask him, your eyes locked on his.

seungmin just nods, desperate for you, and then he crashes his mouth back onto yours as you line him up. he pushes forward slowly, a bit unsure but so desperate and needy for you that he doesn’t care. a broken moan escapes him and he trembles above you, his arms shaking as he sinks deeper slowly. 

“you feel so good already, minnie. that’s it, take your time. you’re doing so well, my good boy”

he bottoms out with a shaky gasp, buried to the hilt inside you. his forehead drops to your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath, as he tries to stop himself from coming again already. you clench around him and he whimpers, his hips twitching. 

“y-y/n”, he says, his voice trembling.

“come on”, you whisper, nipping at his ear, “show me how much you learnt”

seungmin starts with slow and careful thrusts, pulling almost all the way out before sliding back in. each drag of his cock against your walls makes you moan and you encourage him with kisses and bites on his skin.

“harder. yes, just like that”, you say.

his pace gradually picks up, his hips snapping forward with growing confidence.

“f-fuck… you’re so tight”, he says, his voice breaking, “you feel so good”

you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, “don’t stop. fuck me harder seungmin, i wanna feel you”

he starts moving faster, the bed creaking beneath you. your hands roam his back, your nails dragging down his spine as he fucks you with increasing urgency. both of you are loud now, your cries mixing with his broken moans and desperate grunts. when he’s right on the edge, his hand slides between your bodies until his fingers find your clit and he rubs it the way he watched you do on the livestreams.

your orgasm crashes through you without warning then, making you cry out his name as your walls pulse around his cock. the tight squeeze pushes seungmin over too and you come together, both of you screaming and groaning as you break at the same time.

you both tremble together as you come down from your climaxes, breathing hard. he lies on top of you and you turn your head just enough to kiss him slowly, and when you pull back, a teasing smile curves your mouth.

“so… you couldn’t stop watching my videos, huh?”

his face burns and he tries to hide against your neck, but you just laugh softly and stroke his hair.

“congratulations on ruining my life”, he mumbles against your skin.

you laugh louder this time and move his head just enough to kiss him again.

“you’ve ruined me too, you know”, you say, before you lean in and peck his lips again, “but the good thing is that there’s still so much more i can teach you”, you say, pressing a kiss to his temple this time, “and i’m happy to, whenever you want”

he lifts his head, his eyes soft and shining, and he smiles before leaning in to kiss you again, slow and sweet, the perfect ending to his…

research.

a/n: our sweet puppy’s part is up!! again thank you all soooo much for all your love and support, i’m so happy you all love this series as much as i do 🩷 i hope you’re ready for what’s next: our sunshine brownie boy 😏

the library

likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🌟

dividers by my darling @lariesographic 🩷

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[starlostjisung]

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[starlostjisung]

breaking news: i'm an idiot

pairing: seungmin x reader

genre: friends to lovers; smut

wc: 8.4k

warnings: unprotected sex; sub!seungmin; oral sex (f!receiving); fingering; handjob; dry humping; use of toys; praising; dirty talk; voyeurism; exhibitionism

summary: sweet and innocent seungmin fell for a girl he wished he could have and he also became obsessed with a girl he didn’t know. some secrets aren’t meant to stay hidden and he is about to learn that the hard way

live: unfiltered series

kim seungmin is the smart, annoying friend who always reminds everyone about deadlines two weeks in advance. he is the boy who carries a bag heavier than his own body because he insists on bringing every book “just in case”. he is the boy who sighs whenever one of your friends makes a stupid decision but then immediately helps them anyway.

kim seungmin is the boy who complains the loudest and loves the hardest. 

he loves studying and he loves his colour coded notes and neat handwriting and he also loves getting the highest grade and acting like he doesn’t care much about it.

he likes his routines - waking up at eight, having coffee with exactly one sugar, listening to the same playlists over and over again, walking to university instead of taking the bus because he likes to dedicate those extra fifteen minutes to think.

his life is simple, comfortable and very predictable. or at least most of it is, except for the parts of his life that concern you. 

not that he ever tells you this, god forbid.

because seungmin is brave enough to argue with your professors, brave enough to tell strangers when they’re wrong, brave enough to stand up for every single one of your friends. but when it comes to you? he is pathetic, absolutely hopeless.

you had met years ago during your first year at university, he remembers it with embarrassing clarity - you were sitting one row ahead of him, your hair messy because you had been late to class and your cheeks still red from running across campus. the professor had asked a question and you - very confidently, he has to say - had given the wrong answer. he had laughed at your answer, like a full and proper snort escaped him, and you just turned around and glared at him, making him freeze in his seat. 

“you think it’s funny?”, you had asked him, narrowing your eyes.

he stopped laughing immediately and shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours, and somehow, that was your beginning, because your hatred for him lasted only those twenty seconds, maybe even less, and after that, your friendship began.

now you are inseparable and seungmin thinks that everything about you two is normal, or at least he likes to pretend that it’s normal when he texts you good morning every day, when he walks on the side closest to traffic when you’re together, when he keeps your favourite snacks in his bag, when he knows which things make your eyes light up and when he knows when you’re lying about being okay.

sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself, and maybe that’s exactly why he’s doomed, because he is completely and utterly in love with you. he knows it, and he also knows that it’s embarrassing and stupid, because now everything revolves around you. every accomplishment means nothing if he can’t tell you first and every joke becomes funnier if you laugh at it.

he tries to ignore his feelings at first, but of course, he fails miserably, because every time you smile at him, his brain short circuits. he’s completely gone and every single one of your friends knows it.

“you are disgusting”, changbin tells him one day.

seungmin frowns, “i’m literally doing nothing”

“you’re staring at y/n as she walks away”

he scoffs and ignores him, but he spends the next ten minutes wondering if it’s so obvious that everyone can see it. well, everyone except you. or maybe you do see it and you just haven’t said anything because you don’t feel the same way and you want to be nice, to still be friends.

seungmin doesn’t know and he’s too scared to find out, so he settles for your friendship and your late night phone calls as well as your movie nights and walking you home every time you go out. 

but he also likes to think that maybe, just maybe, the universe will help him someday, and maybe one day you’ll realise how he looks at you and you’ll look at him the same way. 

but until then, he just wants to be enough for you, your best friend and the person you can rely on. he wants to be good for you, in every possible way, even in ways that he doesn’t understand yet, which becomes a problem because unlike most of your friends, seungmin has exactly zero experience when it comes to romance, and even less when it comes to sex.

zero, nothing, nada. 

he’s never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone, never gone on a proper date. the closest thing he has to experience is reading awkward advice forums at three in the morning, which he thinks it’s ridiculous, because now, he’s twenty-something and your last year at university is finally here. 

he’s an adult and he still blushes whenever your friends make dirty jokes, he still coughs awkwardly and looks away when there’s a sex scene on tv, and he still pretends to check his phone whenever your friends talk about who they went home with the night before or how many times they came that weekend.

it’s embarrassing, especially because lately he can’t stop thinking about you. not in a bad way, no, not because he wants to disrespect you, it’s quite the opposite really. he likes you so much that he wants to understand relationships better, he wants to know what to do to make you happy, he wants to know how to be caring and gentle but also rough, he wants to know how to make you feel good just in case he ever has the chance to.

so he decides to do some research, because that’s what he always does, research everything. he starts with educational websites, reading some articles and medical journals as well as safe relationship guides. 

he takes notes - yes, actual notes - and reads for hours, learning absolutely nothing useful because every single web says the same things: communicate with your partner, respect your boundaries, be honest, don’t force things… and they are good points obviously, but it’s nothing he didn’t know before and they don’t answer the questions he’s too embarrassed to say out loud.

what if he’s awkward?

what if he’s inexperienced forever?

what if one day you like him back and he disappoints you?

what if you decide to walk away from him? 

those questions keep him awake at night, so eventually, and hesitantly, with his face burning bright red, and in the privacy of his room when he knows changbin is already sleeping in his, he starts looking elsewhere, on different pages, pages where people share their experiences. then he moves to pages where people share videos, pages he had never dared visit before.

he sees one that’s a bit different from the others, a page that shows livestreams too, not just recordings. his cursor hovers over the link for a bit before he rubs his face. he tells himself that this is only to find and learn new things, that he’s only doing this because he has been hopelessly in love with you for years and wants to learn every way to hopefully make you feel good one day, to not make a fool of himself and learn things that you may like. 

his hand hesitates a bit more and then with a racing heart and enough embarrassment to last a lifetime, he decides to explore a world he knows absolutely nothing about and clicks on the link. the screen flashes and a new tab opens, bathing his dorm room in the pale blue glow of it. he sees multiple videos at first before he opens one where a girl is in nothing but a thin white tank top and panties, sitting cross-legged on her bed. her nipples are already stiff against the fabric and she keeps rubbing herself through her underwear, the damp spot growing darker with every pass.

seungmin’s throat goes dry and he closes the livestream fast.

he opens a new one, the girl there naked from her waist down as she fingers herself with two fingers. he sees the chat going crazy, people sending donations and comments, and when he feels his face burn again he closes that livestream too.

another click, another girl, this time lying on her back with her legs spread wide. the livestream doesn’t fully load before seungmin closes that one too, his heart hammering inside his chest. 

he keeps clicking, each new livestream more explicit than the last and then, he finds one that makes him stop when he opens it.

the girl is on her knees in the centre of her bed, her face carefully cropped out of frame. she is wearing a black bra and matching panties and something about the way she moves makes seungmin freeze. she reaches up and cups her breasts over the bra, her thumbs brushing back and forth over her nipples. from the corner of his eye, seungmin can see the chat going crazy, as the comments and donations never stop.

leethighs: fuck yes

aussielord: i’m so hard take everything off 

the girl ignores the comment and keeps touching herself, squeezing and rubbing until her breathing grows heavier. seungmin swallows hard and his hand drifts down without permission and presses against the growing bulge in his pants which he didn’t realise until now. every single sound that comes from the girl makes his stomach twist with a confusing mix of shame and heat and even though he tells himself he is only doing this for research, his cock is already hard and ready to explode. 

the girl on the screen hooks her thumbs into her panties and moves just enough to push them down her thighs and kick them off. then she reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, leaving her completely naked, with her knees spread and her cunt on full display. the camera angle is low enough that seungmin can see everything, including her folds and the way her clit peeks out when she moves. 

she reaches down and traces two fingers along her folds, a moan slipping out of her. seungmin’s hand moves on its own, taking his cock out and giving it one slow stroke, biting his lip to keep quiet. the girl spreads her legs wider and uses her fingers to part her folds, showing the camera how wet she already is. she circles her clit a few times and then slides one finger inside herself, moaning again.

seungmin’s grip tightens and he strokes himself in time with her movements, his eyes glued to the screen, completely hypnotised. 

quokkjone: fuck yourself for us

midnightwolf: such a good girl

maknaeontop: i’m gonna come just watching you

artprince69: add another finger

the girl obeys this time and pushes a second finger inside herself as her hips rock forward to meet her own hand. her moans grow breathier and higher, she’s almost screaming now, letting the sounds fall out of her as she fucks herself harder. 

seungmin’s hand moves faster, his eyes locked on the girl’s cunt, watching the way her fingers disappear inside her again and again. he imagines what it would feel like to be the one inside her, no, how it would feel like to be inside you, making you scream like the girl in the livestream is doing right now. he imagines you, spread open like that for him, begging for him, and the thought alone makes his cock twitch hard in his fist, his orgasm growing faster and unstoppable now. 

the girl adds a third finger, her moans turning into cries now. her free hand moves to pinch one nipple, the chat going feral at this point.

maknaeontop: you look so pretty like this fuck

leethighs: three fingers in i bet you like it rough

he is panting now, trying to stay quiet and not wake changbin up, but he can’t stop looking at the girl and how her fingers keep moving as her moans never stop. her thighs start to tremble and then she comes hard, her juices leaking out around her fingers as she keeps rubbing her clit through her orgasm. 

seungmin’s stokes grow frantic and then his orgasm hits him like a punch, his hips jerking as his cum shoots across his stomach and hand, his vision going white for a second. he keeps stroking his cock through his orgasm, milking every drop as he watches the girl on screen pull her fingers out. she leans forward just enough for the camera to catch the movement of her hand and then, she waves once and ends the stream. 

seungmin sits there in the sudden silence, the screen with the image of the girl close to the camera now, his chest heaving and his cock softening in his sticky hand. his cum is cooling on his skin as he stares at the “stream ended” message. he feels his face burn with embarrassment, he hadn’t meant for this to happen. he just wanted to learn, to understand, to find things, to hopefully be good for you one day.

instead he had just jerked off to a stranger while imagining it was you who was spread open and screaming for him.

two weeks, fourteen days, that’s long enough for everyone to notice how seungmin keeps disappearing. not completely, because he still shows up to every class and hands in every assignment on time, but the moment class ends, he’s gone.

he doesn’t linger in the hallway, he doesn’t grab coffee with all of you, there’s no spontaneous movie nights, no teasing you until you threaten to throw your book at him. nothing, he always has an excuse.

“i can’t, i have to study”

“not today, i have to do some research for a project” 

to be honest they’re believable excuses, they’re seungmin excuses, and nobody questions them. and to be fair, he really does some research, just not the one you all expected him to do.

the first livestream should have been the last one, that’s the first thing he told himself the morning after he watched it. he woke up and deleted his browser history, then avoided opening his laptop for almost the entire day. he promised himself that what had happened was a mistake born from curiosity and that he would move on and forget it happened.

but what happened instead was that that same evening, he caught himself wondering if that girl would stream again that day, then he opened his laptop and found the page and the same girl again, embarrassingly fast he has to admit. he told himself he would look at the account for a minute, just to prove himself that the fascination was gone.

but it wasn’t.

one minute became thirty and thirty became an hour and then he had learnt the days she usually goes live, according to the schedule she had posted. and without meaning to, he started planning his days around her schedule and whenever there wasn’t a livestream, he would watch the old ones, archived in previous recordings. 

there are lots of them, more than he expected, and the girl always starts and ends the livestream with a small wave, which makes her seem less like a stranger. that thought unsettles him a bit because he knows he shouldn’t feel familiar with someone he’s never met, he shouldn’t feel familiar with a girl who he watches with her fingers buried deep inside her as his hand strokes his cock wishing it was someone else’s hand instead.

he wonders why he feels so familiar with her and then, one day, he realises the reason he can’t look away, the reason why something about her has felt strangely familiar from the very beginning - it’s her silhouette, her body.

it reminds him of you, of your body.

when he realises, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. he hates himself for even thinking about it because it feels invasive, wrong. the comparison comes from last summer when you all went on a weekend trip and he saw you wearing your bikini when you went to the beach. it wasn’t too revealing, just a normal bikini, but he remembers how hard he had tried not to stare at you, how hard he had to convince himself he wasn’t staring.

apparently his memory had been sharper than he realised.

now whenever he sees that girl, he sees you. he sees her body and wishes it was yours, he sees her fingers parting her folds and circling her clit and he wishes it was your fingers entering you instead. or even better, he wishes that girl was you and he was the one who had his fingers inside you, well his fingers or whatever it was that you wanted from him. 

and every time he sees you now, the real you and not a figure of his imagination when he has his hands on his cock, guilt settles in his chest like a stone. because even though this all started with him wanting to learn and be good for a possible, hypothetical future where you two are together, the reality now is that he will masturbate while he watches a stranger and thinks about you. he wonders when things got out of hand. 

so, when the second saturday after his little livestreams adventure started comes, all of your friends plan to go to the cinema and have dinner outside, just a little break from all your exams and what not. but to no one’s surprise, seungmin decides to stay in, because he has to do some…

‘research’

changbin says goodbye and clicks the door of their dorm shut behind him. seungmin waits one minute, then a bit more, and only when he’s completely sure that changbin won’t suddenly come back because he forgot his wallet or his phone or something, he closes the door of his room and reaches for his laptop. he opens the page that he knows by heart already and then, enters the account and a small message appears at the top.

live in five minutes.

his heart is already pounding like he had run up four flights of stairs. he shifts in his chair, already half-hard from the anticipation alone and he wipes his sweaty palms on his thighs. then the stream loads and the live begins.

the girl is on her knees in the middle of her bed, her face cropped out like always. she’s wearing a baby blue lace bra that barely qualifies as clothing, leaving very little to the imagination, if anything at all, and the delicate cups are sheer enough that her nipples are seen through the fabric. she’s not wearing panties this time, her bare hips and thighs are on full display, but because of how she’s sitting, her cunt isn’t visible for now. seungmin’s cock gives a hard and immediate twitch inside his boxers.

the girl lifts one hand and gives the camera that same familiar wave and the chat starts working, people already sending their comments and donations.

artprince69: fuck yeah she’s back

quokkjone: that bra and no panties? you’re criminal

aussielord: take it off already

seungmin’s mouth goes dry and he presses the heel of his hand against his swelling cock while he bites his lip. the girl brings both hands up to cup her breasts over the lace, her thumbs dragging slow circles over her nipples until the fabric tents even more. the lace looks so delicate against her skin that seungmin can almost feel how soft it is.

she reaches off-screen for a moment and when her hand comes back into frame, it’s holding something new - a big and thick dildo. seungmin lets out an involuntary groan, his cock getting harder just from imagining what she’s gonna do. she has never used a toy on a live before and the sight of it in her hand makes his cock throb painfully.

the chat goes feral, more donations coming and the comments going absolutely crazy.

leethighs: ride that until you squirt 

maknaeontop: i wish it was my cock instead

midnightwolf: the princess wants to play with fire tonight

seungmin shoves his clothes to his thighs until his cock springs free, already leaking. he wraps his hand around the base and gives one slow stroke as his eyes stay locked on the girl. she leans forwards just enough for her mouth to enter the frame and then she parts her lips and lets a long and thick string of spit drip from her tongue onto the tip of the dildo. the saliva runs down the toy and she uses her hand to spread it, making it slick and shiny.

seungmin’s grip tightens, as he imagines that spit was yours and that toy was his cock, he imagines that you were the one getting it ready for him, and that thought makes his hips jerk upwards into his hand.

the girl shifts on the bed, spreading her knees wider, letting everyone see her cunt now, her clit peeking out and her entrance clenching visibly as she positions herself. she holds the dildo beneath her and then begins to lower herself. seungmin’s breath punches out of him in a ragged moan as the toy disappears inside her. she pauses halfway, breathing hard, and then sinks the rest of the way until her ass meets the bed and the toy is completely inside her, a broken moan slipping out of her.

seungmin strokes himself faster, matching her pace as she begins to move, rising up until just the tip remains inside her and then dropping back down, taking every inch again. one of her hands comes up to squeeze her breasts through the lace, pinching her nipple hard enough to make her scream. 

aussielord: that’s it keep riding that toy sunshine

artprince69: fuck i already came from seeing this

midnightwolf: good girl, taking it like a champ 

seungmin barely registers the comments, as his hand keeps flying up and down his cock. in his mind the girl on screen is you, he pictures your body in that baby blue lace and your cunt swallowing his cock instead of the toy, your moans and screams filling his room instead of hers. he imagines reaching up to tug the bra down, freeing your breasts so he can suck on your nipples while you ride him.

the girl starts riding the toy faster, her moans almost desperate now. her free hand moves to her clit, her thighs shaking with the new sensation. the dildo is soaked, shiny with her arousal and every time she lifts off it leaves a string of wetness connecting her pussy to the toy, and the only thing seungmins wants to do is lick it clean. he can feel his orgasm building fast, hotter and heavier than anything he has felt before.

the girl’s movements grow erratic and then her back arches and she finally comes, screaming as one of her hands keeps pinching her nipple and the other circles her clit. a long and broken cry tears from her throat and seungmin comes with her, his cum shooting from his cock and splattering across his hand, his thighs and his t-shirt. the mess is everywhere but he can’t stop looking at the girl and how her cunt still flutters around the dildo.

she lifts herself off the toy slowly, and then she holds the glistening toy up for the camera one last time. she leans forward just enough to wave goodbye and then ends the livestream, the thumbnail of the video being a full and clear image of the baby blue lace bra and her nipples still visible through the lace.

seungmin sits there staring at it, his chest heaving and his cock softening in his hand. his thighs are still shaking and even though that guilt and heat start a war in his chest again, the image of that bra on the screen stays burned behind his eyelids, he can’t look away. his breathing is still uneven, his heart refusing to settle as guilt washes over him.

he drags a trembling hand over his face, “what is wrong with me…”

he doesn’t close the page, he can’t - the thumbnail remains on the screen, frozen exactly where the stream ended. he snaps the laptop shut, hiding the screen for now, pretending that this never happened. he lets out a long breath and then stands up, moving to grab a clean towel and then heading straight for the bathroom.

the cold water from the shower spills over his shoulders, making him flinch immediately. he welcomes it and hopes that it will help him, because he is still thinking about the girl and you, which makes him half-hard again. 

it helps a little but not enough to erase the embarrassment nor to erase the fact that every time he closes his eyes, he sees fragments of the live replaying in his mind, hoping it was you instead. he presses both hands against the wall, shaking his head.

“this is getting ridiculous”, he says to no one in particular.

it is getting a bit ridiculous if he has to be honest, because he started doing this so he could learn and find things that you could like and now? he’s in his dorm, organising his days around a girl he’s never met, making excuses to his friends and avoiding the one person he actually wants to spend time with.

you. 

the irony isn’t lost on him.

when he finishes showering, he goes to his room and pulls on a hoodie and a pair of grey sweatpants and then goes to the kitchen. he opens the cupboards, staring blankly inside, trying to choose what to eat but before he can pull something off the shelf, the bell rings. seungming freezes, he’s not expecting anyone, changbin would use the code and all of your friends are at the cinema. 

another knock, softer this time, and then a voice, “seungmin?”

his heart stops when he realises it’s your voice. every guilty thought crashes back into him all at once and then he quickly smooths down the front of his hoodie as though that somehow could wash away all of them.

“coming!”, he says, his voice cracking.

wonderful.

he walks to the door, clears his throat and then opens it. you’re standing there with an overnight bag over your shoulder and a plastic bag dangling from your wrist.  

you grin the moment you see him, “hello stranger”

“i…”, he says, blinking, “i thought everyone was going to the cinema”

“they are”, you say and he frowns, “but i knew you weren’t gonna go, so i came here instead”

his ears immediately burn, “i’ve been busy”

“mmhm”, you say, not sounding very convinced.

“i really was”, he says.

“mmhm”, you say again. 

before he can think of another excuse, you slip past him into the dorm as though you’ve done it a thousand times before, which you have to be honest. 

“okay so seeing that you’ve been so… “busy”, we’re gonna have our own movie night”, you say as you turn to look at him and hold up the bag you have with you.

he walks towards you and looks inside - he sees popcorn, chocolate, cookies, his favourite drink, your favourite candy.

“you know you can't just invite yourself over, you know?”, he says, teasing you, trying to act as normal as he can.

“too bad i already did”, you say, giving him the bag and then turning around, walking towards his room. 

he walks to the kitchen again just as he hears the squeak of his bed when you flop onto it, before you speak again.

“seungmin!”

“what?”, he says from the kitchen.

“bring food”

“you already brought food”

“no, i brought my food”

he laughs without looking at you, the knot in his chest loosening just a little.

“you’re unbelievable”, he says to himself, but somehow you still hear him.

“i know!”

he shakes his head, unable to stop smiling. he gets some of your snacks and also others for him because you’re really serious about your food and not sharing it and he learnt that lesson the hard way. he then walks to his room, settling everything down on the desk, beside his laptop, before he clumps onto the bed with you. 

“so”, he says, “what are we watching?”

you gasp and turn to look at him, “you mean i get to choose?”

“i didn’t say that”, he says, turning to look at you.

“you implied it”

“i absolutely didn’t”

“you did”

“i really didn’t”

you stick your tongue at him and he laughs, turning to look at the ceiling.

“okay, so… romance?”, you say.

“absolutely no”

“minnie!”

“what?”

“why not? you know they’re my favourite”, you say, hitting his shoulder.

“y/n, they’re too predictable and full of cliches”

“well, i still love them”, you say, turning to look at the ceiling too.

“action?”, he asks you, turning his face to look at you.

“no, too loud”, you say, looking at him again.

“animated?”

“ugh, no”

he laughs and shakes his head and you continue.

“what about… a comedy?”

he pretends to think for a moment, “... maybe”

“yes!”, you say, throwing your hands into the air, “i will go and choose one”, you say and then you swing your legs over the side of the bed, already walking towards the desk where his laptop is. 

it takes seungmin one second to realise what you’re doing, but it’s already too late, there’s nothing he can do to stop you.

“y/n, wait-”, he says as he stands up too, his entire body shaking, every ounce of blood draining from his face. 

you reach his desk and look at him smiling before you turn to look at the laptop, “oh shush and just let me choose one, trust me i will-”

you stop talking the moment you open his laptop and see the screen, his hand half outstretched between you and the laptop but stopping there, already too late. the screen shows the livestream page, the thumbnail from earlier frozen there - baby blue lace and a woman cropped at the neck, the unmistakable layout of a cam site surrounding the image.

seungmin hopes that he can somehow rewind the last five seconds if he reaches far enough but he can’t, you’ve already seen it. your smile slowly fades as your eyes stay fixed on the screen before you turn towards him.

“seungmin?”

he can’t answer, his mouth opens but nothing comes out. you look back at the laptop then at him again.

“what…”, you say, your voice much quieter now, “w-what is this?”

his heart plummets.

“no-”, he says as he shakes his head, “no, it’s not-”

he doesn’t even know what he’s trying to deny, you haven’t accused him of anything or looked disgusted or even stepped away from him. you’re just… confused.

“i can explain”, he says, his voice cracking “i-i know how this looks, but it’s not-”, he shakes his head again, dragging his hands through his hair so hard it almost hurts, “it’s not what you think”

you remain silent, looking at him, waiting for him to explain.

“i’m not…”, he swallows, “i’m not obsessed with porn or camgirls”, the words sound ridiculous the moment they leave his mouth, “i mean- i don’t- i don’t usually watch things like this, i’ve never done this before”, he says as his face burns and his breathing grows quicker.

he continues as his thoughts tumble over each other faster than he can sort them.

“i just…”, he gestures helplessly towards his laptop, “i was trying to… learn”

you blink, “learn?”

“yes”, he says, “i know that sounds stupid but i just… i don’t know anything”

his words come out so quietly he almost misses them himself, but it’s not something you didn’t know before, you had had your suspicions for a while.

“i’ve never dated anyone or kissed anyone before, let alone know anything about relationships and, well… sex”, he gestures vaguely towards the laptop again, “i don’t know how any of… that works”

he laughs then, a short and miserable laugh before he continues.

“so i read some articles and wrote some things down”

“what, like notes?”, you ask him.

“i colour coded them, yeah”, he says, shaking his head, “but i know that normal people probably don’t write and colour code relationship or sex advice”

you stand there still, looking at him, watching him spiralling too quickly.

“so i decided to… watch some streams because i thought that maybe i’d understand some things. i thought that maybe…”, another helpless laugh, “i don’t know, it could be a kind of research or something”

he winces at his own words, he knows how bad it sounds, and he’s sure you must think he’s crazy. 

“i wasn’t trying to be creepy, i wasn’t trying to- i just-”, his words begin tripping over each other completely, “i wanted to know how to be enough. i wanted to know what people liked. how to make someone feel good. how to make someone- because- i- i just-”

he laughs again, sounding close to tears this time.

“because what if one day… what if one day you…”, the sentence catches in his throat because he knows he shouldn’t say it, he’s already embarrassed enough, but the panic has completely stolen whatever filter he normally has, “because what if one day you said you loved me too?”

he closes his eyes, not wanting to look at you, not wanting to see your reaction in case this is the moment you decide to walk away from him.

“i’ve loved you for years, y/n, ever since we first met to be honest, and i just… i kept thinking that… what if the impossible happened and you loved me too?”, he says, his voice cracking, “and then…”, his breathing stutters, “i kept thinking that you’d realise that i don’t know anything, i don’t know how to kiss someone or how to date, i don’t know…”, he gestures weakly towards the laptop again, “any of that, and then you’d think that i wasn’t good enough, that i’d disappoint you and then you’d leave me”

he says, his throat tightening as another broken laugh escapes him.

“i was trying to learn. i wanted…”, he says as his eyes remain glued to the floor now, “i wanted to be someone worthy of you, someone that could make you feel good in case you wanted me to”

the words barely leave his lips as he remains there, completely frozen and unable to look at you.

“i know how insane this all sounds, i know. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, y/n. i’ll delete everything, i’ll never open that web again, i promise. i didn’t mean for you to-”

“seungmin”, you say, but he doesn’t hear you.

“i’m sorry i just-”

“seungmin”

“i swear i wasn’t-”

“kim seungmin”

you cross the distance between you and his words die the moment your fingers grab his hoodie, so firm that they stop him from spiralling more. you tug enough to make him lift his head, to make him look at you and for the first time since you opened the laptop, slowly and reluctantly, your eyes finally meet. 

he looks at you and sees something he has never seen before. you aren’t angry or embarrassed or even feeling sorry for him. if anything, you look completely in control, there’s a confidence in your posture that he doesn’t recognise. 

something has completely shifted the balance between you, and seungmin’s heartbeat somehow manages to speed up even more. he feels rooted to the floor and then one of your hands rises until your fingertips brush lightly against his cheek, your eyes never leaving his.

“let me see if i’ve understood this correctly”, you say as he watches you, unable to look anywhere else, “you’re in love with me, have been for years”, you say and he manages to nod his head, “and because you’ve never dated anyone…”, you tilt your head thoughtfully, “you convinced yourself you had to learn everything before you could ever have a chance with me”, his lips part but he doesn’t say anything so you continue, “so you started… researching… and ended up watching videos of a girl fucking herself so you could learn things that could make me feel good so you wouldn’t disappoint me if we ever got together… is that it?”

his voice fails completely and all he can do is nod his head again. he stands there looking at you and wondering when exactly you became so effortlessly confident, when you started looking at him like this. you smirk and lean closer then, so close that he can feel your breath near his ear and when you speak again, your voice is barely above a whisper.

“well, it’s a good thing that you picked my videos to learn from”

seungmin swears that everything stops right there and then, his brain refusing to process what you just said.

“my videos”

no, he must have misheard you, surely.

“you’ve got to be kidding me”, that’s what he wants to say but his mouth won’t cooperate with him.

you pull back just enough to see his face and a quiet laugh escapes you, “what? you don’t believe me?”

he still can’t answer, nothing makes sense.

“i suppose i can’t blame you”, you say as you shake your head with an almost fond smile.

without breaking eye contact, your hands move to the zip at the back of your dress and then you open it and let it fall on the floor. seungmin’s eyes widen when he sees it - the baby blue bra. his gaze snaps towards the laptop, to the thumbnail, and then back to you. it’s the same one, he’s completely sure of it. his breathing stops but before he can say anything, both of your hands come up to him again, one cupping his cheek and the other settling at the side of his neck, your thumb resting just beneath his jaw.

“and i think that you’ll also be very glad to know that i’m in love with you too”

before he has a chance to say anything, you lean forward and your lips meet his, the kiss lasting only a heartbeat before surprise catches up with him and then instinct takes over. his eyes flutter close and every anxious thought that’s been racing through his mind for weeks dissolves all at once.

his mouth parts under the pressure of your lips and you slide your tongue past his. his hands hover uselessly at his sides for a second before he puts them on your waist, his fingers twitching like he’s afraid he’ll do something wrong. you don’t give him time to overthink, you lick into his mouth again and he follows you without thinking, his tongue meeting yours. 

you break the kiss only to catch his lower lip between your teeth, tugging before letting go. his eyes are glassy when they open and you smile at him, your hands sliding down to the hem of his hoodie.

“arms up”, you say.

he obeys you instantly and you take his hoodie off, leaving his chest bare, his skin flushed all the way down to his collarbones. you run your palms over his ribs, feeling the way his breath stutters and then you lean to kiss the centre of his chest, making him let out a quiet and broken sound. 

“so… you learnt a lot from my videos, you say?”, you ask against his skin.

seungmin nods his head, completely under your spell now.

“good”, you whisper, “then let’s put it to use”

you kiss him again, harder this time and then you walk him backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. you push lightly on his chest and he sits, then lies down when you follow him onto the mattress. you settle on your back in the middle of the sheets, wearing nothing but the baby blue bra and the matching panties that you hadn’t worn on the stream before. the fabric already clings to you, the crotch visibly darker where you’ve soaked through and seungmin’s gaze drops straight to that wet patch and stays there, his lips parted and his cock visibly twitching inside his grey sweatpants. 

you spread your thighs a little wider, inviting him.

“do whatever you want with me, seungmin”, you say, “whatever you saw me do on camera. whatever you’ve been thinking about all this time”

he swallows hard and then crawls over you on shaky arms. his mouth finds yours again, messy and eager, his hips already rolling down against your thigh in unconscious thrusts. you let him grind against you for a moment, feeling how hard he is, but then you guide his head with a gentle hand on the back of his neck.

seungmin kisses down your throat, across your collarbones, until he reaches the swell of your breasts. his fingers fumble with the bra before he finally opens it and then takes it off of you. he stares at you, his breathing ragged as his eyes stay on your nipples. he leans in and closes his mouth around one, sucking gently and shyly at first, then harder when you sigh and arch into him. his tongue flicks over it and you move your fingers to his hair, holding him there against you.

“that’s it”, you say, the praise warm in your voice, “suck a little harder- yes, just like that”

he moans around your nipple and then moves to the other breast, licking and sucking until both of your nipples are shiny and swollen, as he is completely lost in the taste of you. he moves lower, kissing a trail down your stomach and pressing his lips just above the waistband of your panties. the wet patch has grown and he stares at it before he lowers his head and kisses right over the soaked lace. the heat of his mouth makes you gasp and he does it again, open-mouthed this time, sucking the fabric and the slick underneath.

your hips jerk up and he groans, pressing his face harder against you, licking broad stripes over the lace until it’s completely drenched. 

“fuck, minnie”, you say, your fingers tightening in his hair, “that feels so good. keep going”

he sucks harder then, his tongue pressing the fabric into your folds, and you can feel every desperate noise he makes, every single move of his body against the bed. your thighs tremble around his head and he keep licking and sucking until the lace is dripping. he looks at you and when you nod your head, he hooks his fingers into the waistband and drags the panties down your legs with your help and the moment they’re off, he dives back in, his mouth sealing over your bare cunt now.

“f-fuck… seungmin”

his tongue is hot and eager, licking from your entrance up to your clit before circling there. you moan loud and unrestrained, your hips rolling against his face as he sucks your clit between his lips.

“such a good boy for me- yes, just like that. fuck… your mouth feels amazing”, you say.

seungmin whines against you, your words making him go crazy. he licks lower, pushing his tongue inside you, fucking you with it before returning to your clit, making you scream louder than before. one of his hands slides up your thigh and you feel two fingers press against your entrance. he hesitates at first but then he slides them inside you, stretching you open while his mouth keeps working your clit.

“don’t stop”, you gasp, your back arching off the bed, “i’m gonna come- seungmin, i’m gonna come on your tongue”

he moans desperately and sucks harder, his fingers curling until you finally shatter, your thighs shaking around his head as you ride his mouth through your orgasm. he doesn’t pull away, he licks you through it until you finally go limp, panting.

when you open your eyes, you look at him and find him still between your legs, his face shiny with your juices. but there’s something uneasy in his expression and you reach down and stroke his cheek.

“hey… what’s wrong?”, you ask him softly.

he looks at you shyly, then looks away, his cheeks burning. he moves a bit then and glances down at his own lap. you follow his gaze and you see the front of his grey sweatpants completely dark and soaked, a large wet patch spreading across the fabric. he came untouched, just from eating you out. you feel yourself clench again at the sight, fresh arousal dripping down your thigh. 

“that’s so fucking hot”, you tell him, your voice completely honest and sincere, “you came just from making me come? oh god, seungmin… come here”, you say as you reach for him.

he obeys you instantly, crawling up your body until his face is level with yours. you pull him into a deep kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue, and he moans into your mouth. your hands slide down his back, feeling the way he trembles under your touch, and you kiss him again, slower this time, letting him feel how much you want him. 

your tongues slide together, wet and hungry, both of you breathing hard. you can feel him already getting hard again against your thigh, the sticky mess in his clothes pressing against your skin. you moan into the kiss and he answers with a shaky whimper, completely lost in you.

your hand slips down between your bodies, sliding straight under the waistband of his sweatpants and into his boxers. the moment your fingers wrap around his cock, still sticky from his earlier orgasm, seungmin whines into your mouth, the sound high and needy. his hips jerk forward instinctively, pushing his cock into your palm as if he can’t help himself. you stroke him slowly at first, feeling how he gets hard again, the precum already beading at the tip one more time.

“y/n…”, he moans against your mouth.

“shh, it’s okay”, you murmur, “you’re such a good student, minnie. but i need to see what else you learnt from watching me”

you pump his cock with a firm rhythm, your thumb circling the sensitive tip on every stroke. his breath stutters and his forehead presses against yours as his hips roll into your hand chasing the friction.

you tug at his sweatpants with your free hand, “help me”

he scrambles to obey, lifting his hips so you can shove both his sweatpants and his boxers down his thighs. he kicks them off the rest of the way, leaving him completely naked now. the moment he’s free, he crawls over you again, settling between your spread legs and his cock, flushed and leaking, brushed against your inner thigh. he looks at you with wide and bright eyes, completely under your control, letting you do whatever you want with him.

you reach down and wrap your fingers around his cock again, guiding the tip to your entrance. 

“you ready?”, you ask him, your eyes locked on his.

seungmin just nods, desperate for you, and then he crashes his mouth back onto yours as you line him up. he pushes forward slowly, a bit unsure but so desperate and needy for you that he doesn’t care. a broken moan escapes him and he trembles above you, his arms shaking as he sinks deeper slowly. 

“you feel so good already, minnie. that’s it, take your time. you’re doing so well, my good boy”

he bottoms out with a shaky gasp, buried to the hilt inside you. his forehead drops to your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath, as he tries to stop himself from coming again already. you clench around him and he whimpers, his hips twitching. 

“y-y/n”, he says, his voice trembling.

“come on”, you whisper, nipping at his ear, “show me how much you learnt”

seungmin starts with slow and careful thrusts, pulling almost all the way out before sliding back in. each drag of his cock against your walls makes you moan and you encourage him with kisses and bites on his skin.

“harder. yes, just like that”, you say.

his pace gradually picks up, his hips snapping forward with growing confidence.

“f-fuck… you’re so tight”, he says, his voice breaking, “you feel so good”

you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, “don’t stop. fuck me harder seungmin, i wanna feel you”

he starts moving faster, the bed creaking beneath you. your hands roam his back, your nails dragging down his spine as he fucks you with increasing urgency. both of you are loud now, your cries mixing with his broken moans and desperate grunts. when he’s right on the edge, his hand slides between your bodies until his fingers find your clit and he rubs it the way he watched you do on the livestreams.

your orgasm crashes through you without warning then, making you cry out his name as your walls pulse around his cock. the tight squeeze pushes seungmin over too and you come together, both of you screaming and groaning as you break at the same time.

you both tremble together as you come down from your climaxes, breathing hard. he lies on top of you and you turn your head just enough to kiss him slowly, and when you pull back, a teasing smile curves your mouth.

“so… you couldn’t stop watching my videos, huh?”

his face burns and he tries to hide against your neck, but you just laugh softly and stroke his hair.

“congratulations on ruining my life”, he mumbles against your skin.

you laugh louder this time and move his head just enough to kiss him again.

“you’ve ruined me too, you know”, you say, before you lean in and peck his lips again, “but the good thing is that there’s still so much more i can teach you”, you say, pressing a kiss to his temple this time, “and i’m happy to, whenever you want”

he lifts his head, his eyes soft and shining, and he smiles before leaning in to kiss you again, slow and sweet, the perfect ending to his…

research.

a/n: our sweet puppy’s part is up!! again thank you all soooo much for all your love and support, i’m so happy you all love this series as much as i do 🩷 i hope you’re ready for what’s next: our sunshine brownie boy 😏

the library

likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🌟

dividers by my darling @lariesographic 🩷

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[starlostjisung]

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[starlostjisung]

breaking news: i'm an idiot

pairing: seungmin x reader

genre: friends to lovers; smut

wc: 8.4k

warnings: unprotected sex; sub!seungmin; oral sex (f!receiving); fingering; handjob; dry humping; use of toys; praising; dirty talk; voyeurism; exhibitionism

summary: sweet and innocent seungmin fell for a girl he wished he could have and he also became obsessed with a girl he didn’t know. some secrets aren’t meant to stay hidden and he is about to learn that the hard way

live: unfiltered series

kim seungmin is the smart, annoying friend who always reminds everyone about deadlines two weeks in advance. he is the boy who carries a bag heavier than his own body because he insists on bringing every book “just in case”. he is the boy who sighs whenever one of your friends makes a stupid decision but then immediately helps them anyway.

kim seungmin is the boy who complains the loudest and loves the hardest. 

he loves studying and he loves his colour coded notes and neat handwriting and he also loves getting the highest grade and acting like he doesn’t care much about it.

he likes his routines - waking up at eight, having coffee with exactly one sugar, listening to the same playlists over and over again, walking to university instead of taking the bus because he likes to dedicate those extra fifteen minutes to think.

his life is simple, comfortable and very predictable. or at least most of it is, except for the parts of his life that concern you. 

not that he ever tells you this, god forbid.

because seungmin is brave enough to argue with your professors, brave enough to tell strangers when they’re wrong, brave enough to stand up for every single one of your friends. but when it comes to you? he is pathetic, absolutely hopeless.

you had met years ago during your first year at university, he remembers it with embarrassing clarity - you were sitting one row ahead of him, your hair messy because you had been late to class and your cheeks still red from running across campus. the professor had asked a question and you - very confidently, he has to say - had given the wrong answer. he had laughed at your answer, like a full and proper snort escaped him, and you just turned around and glared at him, making him freeze in his seat. 

“you think it’s funny?”, you had asked him, narrowing your eyes.

he stopped laughing immediately and shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours, and somehow, that was your beginning, because your hatred for him lasted only those twenty seconds, maybe even less, and after that, your friendship began.

now you are inseparable and seungmin thinks that everything about you two is normal, or at least he likes to pretend that it’s normal when he texts you good morning every day, when he walks on the side closest to traffic when you’re together, when he keeps your favourite snacks in his bag, when he knows which things make your eyes light up and when he knows when you’re lying about being okay.

sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself, and maybe that’s exactly why he’s doomed, because he is completely and utterly in love with you. he knows it, and he also knows that it’s embarrassing and stupid, because now everything revolves around you. every accomplishment means nothing if he can’t tell you first and every joke becomes funnier if you laugh at it.

he tries to ignore his feelings at first, but of course, he fails miserably, because every time you smile at him, his brain short circuits. he’s completely gone and every single one of your friends knows it.

“you are disgusting”, changbin tells him one day.

seungmin frowns, “i’m literally doing nothing”

“you’re staring at y/n as she walks away”

he scoffs and ignores him, but he spends the next ten minutes wondering if it’s so obvious that everyone can see it. well, everyone except you. or maybe you do see it and you just haven’t said anything because you don’t feel the same way and you want to be nice, to still be friends.

seungmin doesn’t know and he’s too scared to find out, so he settles for your friendship and your late night phone calls as well as your movie nights and walking you home every time you go out. 

but he also likes to think that maybe, just maybe, the universe will help him someday, and maybe one day you’ll realise how he looks at you and you’ll look at him the same way. 

but until then, he just wants to be enough for you, your best friend and the person you can rely on. he wants to be good for you, in every possible way, even in ways that he doesn’t understand yet, which becomes a problem because unlike most of your friends, seungmin has exactly zero experience when it comes to romance, and even less when it comes to sex.

zero, nothing, nada. 

he’s never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone, never gone on a proper date. the closest thing he has to experience is reading awkward advice forums at three in the morning, which he thinks it’s ridiculous, because now, he’s twenty-something and your last year at university is finally here. 

he’s an adult and he still blushes whenever your friends make dirty jokes, he still coughs awkwardly and looks away when there’s a sex scene on tv, and he still pretends to check his phone whenever your friends talk about who they went home with the night before or how many times they came that weekend.

it’s embarrassing, especially because lately he can’t stop thinking about you. not in a bad way, no, not because he wants to disrespect you, it’s quite the opposite really. he likes you so much that he wants to understand relationships better, he wants to know what to do to make you happy, he wants to know how to be caring and gentle but also rough, he wants to know how to make you feel good just in case he ever has the chance to.

so he decides to do some research, because that’s what he always does, research everything. he starts with educational websites, reading some articles and medical journals as well as safe relationship guides. 

he takes notes - yes, actual notes - and reads for hours, learning absolutely nothing useful because every single web says the same things: communicate with your partner, respect your boundaries, be honest, don’t force things… and they are good points obviously, but it’s nothing he didn’t know before and they don’t answer the questions he’s too embarrassed to say out loud.

what if he’s awkward?

what if he’s inexperienced forever?

what if one day you like him back and he disappoints you?

what if you decide to walk away from him? 

those questions keep him awake at night, so eventually, and hesitantly, with his face burning bright red, and in the privacy of his room when he knows changbin is already sleeping in his, he starts looking elsewhere, on different pages, pages where people share their experiences. then he moves to pages where people share videos, pages he had never dared visit before.

he sees one that’s a bit different from the others, a page that shows livestreams too, not just recordings. his cursor hovers over the link for a bit before he rubs his face. he tells himself that this is only to find and learn new things, that he’s only doing this because he has been hopelessly in love with you for years and wants to learn every way to hopefully make you feel good one day, to not make a fool of himself and learn things that you may like. 

his hand hesitates a bit more and then with a racing heart and enough embarrassment to last a lifetime, he decides to explore a world he knows absolutely nothing about and clicks on the link. the screen flashes and a new tab opens, bathing his dorm room in the pale blue glow of it. he sees multiple videos at first before he opens one where a girl is in nothing but a thin white tank top and panties, sitting cross-legged on her bed. her nipples are already stiff against the fabric and she keeps rubbing herself through her underwear, the damp spot growing darker with every pass.

seungmin’s throat goes dry and he closes the livestream fast.

he opens a new one, the girl there naked from her waist down as she fingers herself with two fingers. he sees the chat going crazy, people sending donations and comments, and when he feels his face burn again he closes that livestream too.

another click, another girl, this time lying on her back with her legs spread wide. the livestream doesn’t fully load before seungmin closes that one too, his heart hammering inside his chest. 

he keeps clicking, each new livestream more explicit than the last and then, he finds one that makes him stop when he opens it.

the girl is on her knees in the centre of her bed, her face carefully cropped out of frame. she is wearing a black bra and matching panties and something about the way she moves makes seungmin freeze. she reaches up and cups her breasts over the bra, her thumbs brushing back and forth over her nipples. from the corner of his eye, seungmin can see the chat going crazy, as the comments and donations never stop.

leethighs: fuck yes

aussielord: i’m so hard take everything off 

the girl ignores the comment and keeps touching herself, squeezing and rubbing until her breathing grows heavier. seungmin swallows hard and his hand drifts down without permission and presses against the growing bulge in his pants which he didn’t realise until now. every single sound that comes from the girl makes his stomach twist with a confusing mix of shame and heat and even though he tells himself he is only doing this for research, his cock is already hard and ready to explode. 

the girl on the screen hooks her thumbs into her panties and moves just enough to push them down her thighs and kick them off. then she reaches behind her back and unclasps her bra, leaving her completely naked, with her knees spread and her cunt on full display. the camera angle is low enough that seungmin can see everything, including her folds and the way her clit peeks out when she moves. 

she reaches down and traces two fingers along her folds, a moan slipping out of her. seungmin’s hand moves on its own, taking his cock out and giving it one slow stroke, biting his lip to keep quiet. the girl spreads her legs wider and uses her fingers to part her folds, showing the camera how wet she already is. she circles her clit a few times and then slides one finger inside herself, moaning again.

seungmin’s grip tightens and he strokes himself in time with her movements, his eyes glued to the screen, completely hypnotised. 

quokkjone: fuck yourself for us

midnightwolf: such a good girl

maknaeontop: i’m gonna come just watching you

artprince69: add another finger

the girl obeys this time and pushes a second finger inside herself as her hips rock forward to meet her own hand. her moans grow breathier and higher, she’s almost screaming now, letting the sounds fall out of her as she fucks herself harder. 

seungmin’s hand moves faster, his eyes locked on the girl’s cunt, watching the way her fingers disappear inside her again and again. he imagines what it would feel like to be the one inside her, no, how it would feel like to be inside you, making you scream like the girl in the livestream is doing right now. he imagines you, spread open like that for him, begging for him, and the thought alone makes his cock twitch hard in his fist, his orgasm growing faster and unstoppable now. 

the girl adds a third finger, her moans turning into cries now. her free hand moves to pinch one nipple, the chat going feral at this point.

maknaeontop: you look so pretty like this fuck

leethighs: three fingers in i bet you like it rough

he is panting now, trying to stay quiet and not wake changbin up, but he can’t stop looking at the girl and how her fingers keep moving as her moans never stop. her thighs start to tremble and then she comes hard, her juices leaking out around her fingers as she keeps rubbing her clit through her orgasm. 

seungmin’s stokes grow frantic and then his orgasm hits him like a punch, his hips jerking as his cum shoots across his stomach and hand, his vision going white for a second. he keeps stroking his cock through his orgasm, milking every drop as he watches the girl on screen pull her fingers out. she leans forward just enough for the camera to catch the movement of her hand and then, she waves once and ends the stream. 

seungmin sits there in the sudden silence, the screen with the image of the girl close to the camera now, his chest heaving and his cock softening in his sticky hand. his cum is cooling on his skin as he stares at the “stream ended” message. he feels his face burn with embarrassment, he hadn’t meant for this to happen. he just wanted to learn, to understand, to find things, to hopefully be good for you one day.

instead he had just jerked off to a stranger while imagining it was you who was spread open and screaming for him.

two weeks, fourteen days, that’s long enough for everyone to notice how seungmin keeps disappearing. not completely, because he still shows up to every class and hands in every assignment on time, but the moment class ends, he’s gone.

he doesn’t linger in the hallway, he doesn’t grab coffee with all of you, there’s no spontaneous movie nights, no teasing you until you threaten to throw your book at him. nothing, he always has an excuse.

“i can’t, i have to study”

“not today, i have to do some research for a project” 

to be honest they’re believable excuses, they’re seungmin excuses, and nobody questions them. and to be fair, he really does some research, just not the one you all expected him to do.

the first livestream should have been the last one, that’s the first thing he told himself the morning after he watched it. he woke up and deleted his browser history, then avoided opening his laptop for almost the entire day. he promised himself that what had happened was a mistake born from curiosity and that he would move on and forget it happened.

but what happened instead was that that same evening, he caught himself wondering if that girl would stream again that day, then he opened his laptop and found the page and the same girl again, embarrassingly fast he has to admit. he told himself he would look at the account for a minute, just to prove himself that the fascination was gone.

but it wasn’t.

one minute became thirty and thirty became an hour and then he had learnt the days she usually goes live, according to the schedule she had posted. and without meaning to, he started planning his days around her schedule and whenever there wasn’t a livestream, he would watch the old ones, archived in previous recordings. 

there are lots of them, more than he expected, and the girl always starts and ends the livestream with a small wave, which makes her seem less like a stranger. that thought unsettles him a bit because he knows he shouldn’t feel familiar with someone he’s never met, he shouldn’t feel familiar with a girl who he watches with her fingers buried deep inside her as his hand strokes his cock wishing it was someone else’s hand instead.

he wonders why he feels so familiar with her and then, one day, he realises the reason he can’t look away, the reason why something about her has felt strangely familiar from the very beginning - it’s her silhouette, her body.

it reminds him of you, of your body.

when he realises, he closes his eyes and shakes his head. he hates himself for even thinking about it because it feels invasive, wrong. the comparison comes from last summer when you all went on a weekend trip and he saw you wearing your bikini when you went to the beach. it wasn’t too revealing, just a normal bikini, but he remembers how hard he had tried not to stare at you, how hard he had to convince himself he wasn’t staring.

apparently his memory had been sharper than he realised.

now whenever he sees that girl, he sees you. he sees her body and wishes it was yours, he sees her fingers parting her folds and circling her clit and he wishes it was your fingers entering you instead. or even better, he wishes that girl was you and he was the one who had his fingers inside you, well his fingers or whatever it was that you wanted from him. 

and every time he sees you now, the real you and not a figure of his imagination when he has his hands on his cock, guilt settles in his chest like a stone. because even though this all started with him wanting to learn and be good for a possible, hypothetical future where you two are together, the reality now is that he will masturbate while he watches a stranger and thinks about you. he wonders when things got out of hand. 

so, when the second saturday after his little livestreams adventure started comes, all of your friends plan to go to the cinema and have dinner outside, just a little break from all your exams and what not. but to no one’s surprise, seungmin decides to stay in, because he has to do some…

‘research’

changbin says goodbye and clicks the door of their dorm shut behind him. seungmin waits one minute, then a bit more, and only when he’s completely sure that changbin won’t suddenly come back because he forgot his wallet or his phone or something, he closes the door of his room and reaches for his laptop. he opens the page that he knows by heart already and then, enters the account and a small message appears at the top.

live in five minutes.

his heart is already pounding like he had run up four flights of stairs. he shifts in his chair, already half-hard from the anticipation alone and he wipes his sweaty palms on his thighs. then the stream loads and the live begins.

the girl is on her knees in the middle of her bed, her face cropped out like always. she’s wearing a baby blue lace bra that barely qualifies as clothing, leaving very little to the imagination, if anything at all, and the delicate cups are sheer enough that her nipples are seen through the fabric. she’s not wearing panties this time, her bare hips and thighs are on full display, but because of how she’s sitting, her cunt isn’t visible for now. seungmin’s cock gives a hard and immediate twitch inside his boxers.

the girl lifts one hand and gives the camera that same familiar wave and the chat starts working, people already sending their comments and donations.

artprince69: fuck yeah she’s back

quokkjone: that bra and no panties? you’re criminal

aussielord: take it off already

seungmin’s mouth goes dry and he presses the heel of his hand against his swelling cock while he bites his lip. the girl brings both hands up to cup her breasts over the lace, her thumbs dragging slow circles over her nipples until the fabric tents even more. the lace looks so delicate against her skin that seungmin can almost feel how soft it is.

she reaches off-screen for a moment and when her hand comes back into frame, it’s holding something new - a big and thick dildo. seungmin lets out an involuntary groan, his cock getting harder just from imagining what she’s gonna do. she has never used a toy on a live before and the sight of it in her hand makes his cock throb painfully.

the chat goes feral, more donations coming and the comments going absolutely crazy.

leethighs: ride that until you squirt 

maknaeontop: i wish it was my cock instead

midnightwolf: the princess wants to play with fire tonight

seungmin shoves his clothes to his thighs until his cock springs free, already leaking. he wraps his hand around the base and gives one slow stroke as his eyes stay locked on the girl. she leans forwards just enough for her mouth to enter the frame and then she parts her lips and lets a long and thick string of spit drip from her tongue onto the tip of the dildo. the saliva runs down the toy and she uses her hand to spread it, making it slick and shiny.

seungmin’s grip tightens, as he imagines that spit was yours and that toy was his cock, he imagines that you were the one getting it ready for him, and that thought makes his hips jerk upwards into his hand.

the girl shifts on the bed, spreading her knees wider, letting everyone see her cunt now, her clit peeking out and her entrance clenching visibly as she positions herself. she holds the dildo beneath her and then begins to lower herself. seungmin’s breath punches out of him in a ragged moan as the toy disappears inside her. she pauses halfway, breathing hard, and then sinks the rest of the way until her ass meets the bed and the toy is completely inside her, a broken moan slipping out of her.

seungmin strokes himself faster, matching her pace as she begins to move, rising up until just the tip remains inside her and then dropping back down, taking every inch again. one of her hands comes up to squeeze her breasts through the lace, pinching her nipple hard enough to make her scream. 

aussielord: that’s it keep riding that toy sunshine

artprince69: fuck i already came from seeing this

midnightwolf: good girl, taking it like a champ 

seungmin barely registers the comments, as his hand keeps flying up and down his cock. in his mind the girl on screen is you, he pictures your body in that baby blue lace and your cunt swallowing his cock instead of the toy, your moans and screams filling his room instead of hers. he imagines reaching up to tug the bra down, freeing your breasts so he can suck on your nipples while you ride him.

the girl starts riding the toy faster, her moans almost desperate now. her free hand moves to her clit, her thighs shaking with the new sensation. the dildo is soaked, shiny with her arousal and every time she lifts off it leaves a string of wetness connecting her pussy to the toy, and the only thing seungmins wants to do is lick it clean. he can feel his orgasm building fast, hotter and heavier than anything he has felt before.

the girl’s movements grow erratic and then her back arches and she finally comes, screaming as one of her hands keeps pinching her nipple and the other circles her clit. a long and broken cry tears from her throat and seungmin comes with her, his cum shooting from his cock and splattering across his hand, his thighs and his t-shirt. the mess is everywhere but he can’t stop looking at the girl and how her cunt still flutters around the dildo.

she lifts herself off the toy slowly, and then she holds the glistening toy up for the camera one last time. she leans forward just enough to wave goodbye and then ends the livestream, the thumbnail of the video being a full and clear image of the baby blue lace bra and her nipples still visible through the lace.

seungmin sits there staring at it, his chest heaving and his cock softening in his hand. his thighs are still shaking and even though that guilt and heat start a war in his chest again, the image of that bra on the screen stays burned behind his eyelids, he can’t look away. his breathing is still uneven, his heart refusing to settle as guilt washes over him.

he drags a trembling hand over his face, “what is wrong with me…”

he doesn’t close the page, he can’t - the thumbnail remains on the screen, frozen exactly where the stream ended. he snaps the laptop shut, hiding the screen for now, pretending that this never happened. he lets out a long breath and then stands up, moving to grab a clean towel and then heading straight for the bathroom.

the cold water from the shower spills over his shoulders, making him flinch immediately. he welcomes it and hopes that it will help him, because he is still thinking about the girl and you, which makes him half-hard again. 

it helps a little but not enough to erase the embarrassment nor to erase the fact that every time he closes his eyes, he sees fragments of the live replaying in his mind, hoping it was you instead. he presses both hands against the wall, shaking his head.

“this is getting ridiculous”, he says to no one in particular.

it is getting a bit ridiculous if he has to be honest, because he started doing this so he could learn and find things that you could like and now? he’s in his dorm, organising his days around a girl he’s never met, making excuses to his friends and avoiding the one person he actually wants to spend time with.

you. 

the irony isn’t lost on him.

when he finishes showering, he goes to his room and pulls on a hoodie and a pair of grey sweatpants and then goes to the kitchen. he opens the cupboards, staring blankly inside, trying to choose what to eat but before he can pull something off the shelf, the bell rings. seungming freezes, he’s not expecting anyone, changbin would use the code and all of your friends are at the cinema. 

another knock, softer this time, and then a voice, “seungmin?”

his heart stops when he realises it’s your voice. every guilty thought crashes back into him all at once and then he quickly smooths down the front of his hoodie as though that somehow could wash away all of them.

“coming!”, he says, his voice cracking.

wonderful.

he walks to the door, clears his throat and then opens it. you’re standing there with an overnight bag over your shoulder and a plastic bag dangling from your wrist.  

you grin the moment you see him, “hello stranger”

“i…”, he says, blinking, “i thought everyone was going to the cinema”

“they are”, you say and he frowns, “but i knew you weren’t gonna go, so i came here instead”

his ears immediately burn, “i’ve been busy”

“mmhm”, you say, not sounding very convinced.

“i really was”, he says.

“mmhm”, you say again. 

before he can think of another excuse, you slip past him into the dorm as though you’ve done it a thousand times before, which you have to be honest. 

“okay so seeing that you’ve been so… “busy”, we’re gonna have our own movie night”, you say as you turn to look at him and hold up the bag you have with you.

he walks towards you and looks inside - he sees popcorn, chocolate, cookies, his favourite drink, your favourite candy.

“you know you can't just invite yourself over, you know?”, he says, teasing you, trying to act as normal as he can.

“too bad i already did”, you say, giving him the bag and then turning around, walking towards his room. 

he walks to the kitchen again just as he hears the squeak of his bed when you flop onto it, before you speak again.

“seungmin!”

“what?”, he says from the kitchen.

“bring food”

“you already brought food”

“no, i brought my food”

he laughs without looking at you, the knot in his chest loosening just a little.

“you’re unbelievable”, he says to himself, but somehow you still hear him.

“i know!”

he shakes his head, unable to stop smiling. he gets some of your snacks and also others for him because you’re really serious about your food and not sharing it and he learnt that lesson the hard way. he then walks to his room, settling everything down on the desk, beside his laptop, before he clumps onto the bed with you. 

“so”, he says, “what are we watching?”

you gasp and turn to look at him, “you mean i get to choose?”

“i didn’t say that”, he says, turning to look at you.

“you implied it”

“i absolutely didn’t”

“you did”

“i really didn’t”

you stick your tongue at him and he laughs, turning to look at the ceiling.

“okay, so… romance?”, you say.

“absolutely no”

“minnie!”

“what?”

“why not? you know they’re my favourite”, you say, hitting his shoulder.

“y/n, they’re too predictable and full of cliches”

“well, i still love them”, you say, turning to look at the ceiling too.

“action?”, he asks you, turning his face to look at you.

“no, too loud”, you say, looking at him again.

“animated?”

“ugh, no”

he laughs and shakes his head and you continue.

“what about… a comedy?”

he pretends to think for a moment, “... maybe”

“yes!”, you say, throwing your hands into the air, “i will go and choose one”, you say and then you swing your legs over the side of the bed, already walking towards the desk where his laptop is. 

it takes seungmin one second to realise what you’re doing, but it’s already too late, there’s nothing he can do to stop you.

“y/n, wait-”, he says as he stands up too, his entire body shaking, every ounce of blood draining from his face. 

you reach his desk and look at him smiling before you turn to look at the laptop, “oh shush and just let me choose one, trust me i will-”

you stop talking the moment you open his laptop and see the screen, his hand half outstretched between you and the laptop but stopping there, already too late. the screen shows the livestream page, the thumbnail from earlier frozen there - baby blue lace and a woman cropped at the neck, the unmistakable layout of a cam site surrounding the image.

seungmin hopes that he can somehow rewind the last five seconds if he reaches far enough but he can’t, you’ve already seen it. your smile slowly fades as your eyes stay fixed on the screen before you turn towards him.

“seungmin?”

he can’t answer, his mouth opens but nothing comes out. you look back at the laptop then at him again.

“what…”, you say, your voice much quieter now, “w-what is this?”

his heart plummets.

“no-”, he says as he shakes his head, “no, it’s not-”

he doesn’t even know what he’s trying to deny, you haven’t accused him of anything or looked disgusted or even stepped away from him. you’re just… confused.

“i can explain”, he says, his voice cracking “i-i know how this looks, but it’s not-”, he shakes his head again, dragging his hands through his hair so hard it almost hurts, “it’s not what you think”

you remain silent, looking at him, waiting for him to explain.

“i’m not…”, he swallows, “i’m not obsessed with porn or camgirls”, the words sound ridiculous the moment they leave his mouth, “i mean- i don’t- i don’t usually watch things like this, i’ve never done this before”, he says as his face burns and his breathing grows quicker.

he continues as his thoughts tumble over each other faster than he can sort them.

“i just…”, he gestures helplessly towards his laptop, “i was trying to… learn”

you blink, “learn?”

“yes”, he says, “i know that sounds stupid but i just… i don’t know anything”

his words come out so quietly he almost misses them himself, but it’s not something you didn’t know before, you had had your suspicions for a while.

“i’ve never dated anyone or kissed anyone before, let alone know anything about relationships and, well… sex”, he gestures vaguely towards the laptop again, “i don’t know how any of… that works”

he laughs then, a short and miserable laugh before he continues.

“so i read some articles and wrote some things down”

“what, like notes?”, you ask him.

“i colour coded them, yeah”, he says, shaking his head, “but i know that normal people probably don’t write and colour code relationship or sex advice”

you stand there still, looking at him, watching him spiralling too quickly.

“so i decided to… watch some streams because i thought that maybe i’d understand some things. i thought that maybe…”, another helpless laugh, “i don’t know, it could be a kind of research or something”

he winces at his own words, he knows how bad it sounds, and he’s sure you must think he’s crazy. 

“i wasn’t trying to be creepy, i wasn’t trying to- i just-”, his words begin tripping over each other completely, “i wanted to know how to be enough. i wanted to know what people liked. how to make someone feel good. how to make someone- because- i- i just-”

he laughs again, sounding close to tears this time.

“because what if one day… what if one day you…”, the sentence catches in his throat because he knows he shouldn’t say it, he’s already embarrassed enough, but the panic has completely stolen whatever filter he normally has, “because what if one day you said you loved me too?”

he closes his eyes, not wanting to look at you, not wanting to see your reaction in case this is the moment you decide to walk away from him.

“i’ve loved you for years, y/n, ever since we first met to be honest, and i just… i kept thinking that… what if the impossible happened and you loved me too?”, he says, his voice cracking, “and then…”, his breathing stutters, “i kept thinking that you’d realise that i don’t know anything, i don’t know how to kiss someone or how to date, i don’t know…”, he gestures weakly towards the laptop again, “any of that, and then you’d think that i wasn’t good enough, that i’d disappoint you and then you’d leave me”

he says, his throat tightening as another broken laugh escapes him.

“i was trying to learn. i wanted…”, he says as his eyes remain glued to the floor now, “i wanted to be someone worthy of you, someone that could make you feel good in case you wanted me to”

the words barely leave his lips as he remains there, completely frozen and unable to look at you.

“i know how insane this all sounds, i know. i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, y/n. i’ll delete everything, i’ll never open that web again, i promise. i didn’t mean for you to-”

“seungmin”, you say, but he doesn’t hear you.

“i’m sorry i just-”

“seungmin”

“i swear i wasn’t-”

“kim seungmin”

you cross the distance between you and his words die the moment your fingers grab his hoodie, so firm that they stop him from spiralling more. you tug enough to make him lift his head, to make him look at you and for the first time since you opened the laptop, slowly and reluctantly, your eyes finally meet. 

he looks at you and sees something he has never seen before. you aren’t angry or embarrassed or even feeling sorry for him. if anything, you look completely in control, there’s a confidence in your posture that he doesn’t recognise. 

something has completely shifted the balance between you, and seungmin’s heartbeat somehow manages to speed up even more. he feels rooted to the floor and then one of your hands rises until your fingertips brush lightly against his cheek, your eyes never leaving his.

“let me see if i’ve understood this correctly”, you say as he watches you, unable to look anywhere else, “you’re in love with me, have been for years”, you say and he manages to nod his head, “and because you’ve never dated anyone…”, you tilt your head thoughtfully, “you convinced yourself you had to learn everything before you could ever have a chance with me”, his lips part but he doesn’t say anything so you continue, “so you started… researching… and ended up watching videos of a girl fucking herself so you could learn things that could make me feel good so you wouldn’t disappoint me if we ever got together… is that it?”

his voice fails completely and all he can do is nod his head again. he stands there looking at you and wondering when exactly you became so effortlessly confident, when you started looking at him like this. you smirk and lean closer then, so close that he can feel your breath near his ear and when you speak again, your voice is barely above a whisper.

“well, it’s a good thing that you picked my videos to learn from”

seungmin swears that everything stops right there and then, his brain refusing to process what you just said.

“my videos”

no, he must have misheard you, surely.

“you’ve got to be kidding me”, that’s what he wants to say but his mouth won’t cooperate with him.

you pull back just enough to see his face and a quiet laugh escapes you, “what? you don’t believe me?”

he still can’t answer, nothing makes sense.

“i suppose i can’t blame you”, you say as you shake your head with an almost fond smile.

without breaking eye contact, your hands move to the zip at the back of your dress and then you open it and let it fall on the floor. seungmin’s eyes widen when he sees it - the baby blue bra. his gaze snaps towards the laptop, to the thumbnail, and then back to you. it’s the same one, he’s completely sure of it. his breathing stops but before he can say anything, both of your hands come up to him again, one cupping his cheek and the other settling at the side of his neck, your thumb resting just beneath his jaw.

“and i think that you’ll also be very glad to know that i’m in love with you too”

before he has a chance to say anything, you lean forward and your lips meet his, the kiss lasting only a heartbeat before surprise catches up with him and then instinct takes over. his eyes flutter close and every anxious thought that’s been racing through his mind for weeks dissolves all at once.

his mouth parts under the pressure of your lips and you slide your tongue past his. his hands hover uselessly at his sides for a second before he puts them on your waist, his fingers twitching like he’s afraid he’ll do something wrong. you don’t give him time to overthink, you lick into his mouth again and he follows you without thinking, his tongue meeting yours. 

you break the kiss only to catch his lower lip between your teeth, tugging before letting go. his eyes are glassy when they open and you smile at him, your hands sliding down to the hem of his hoodie.

“arms up”, you say.

he obeys you instantly and you take his hoodie off, leaving his chest bare, his skin flushed all the way down to his collarbones. you run your palms over his ribs, feeling the way his breath stutters and then you lean to kiss the centre of his chest, making him let out a quiet and broken sound. 

“so… you learnt a lot from my videos, you say?”, you ask against his skin.

seungmin nods his head, completely under your spell now.

“good”, you whisper, “then let’s put it to use”

you kiss him again, harder this time and then you walk him backwards until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. you push lightly on his chest and he sits, then lies down when you follow him onto the mattress. you settle on your back in the middle of the sheets, wearing nothing but the baby blue bra and the matching panties that you hadn’t worn on the stream before. the fabric already clings to you, the crotch visibly darker where you’ve soaked through and seungmin’s gaze drops straight to that wet patch and stays there, his lips parted and his cock visibly twitching inside his grey sweatpants. 

you spread your thighs a little wider, inviting him.

“do whatever you want with me, seungmin”, you say, “whatever you saw me do on camera. whatever you’ve been thinking about all this time”

he swallows hard and then crawls over you on shaky arms. his mouth finds yours again, messy and eager, his hips already rolling down against your thigh in unconscious thrusts. you let him grind against you for a moment, feeling how hard he is, but then you guide his head with a gentle hand on the back of his neck.

seungmin kisses down your throat, across your collarbones, until he reaches the swell of your breasts. his fingers fumble with the bra before he finally opens it and then takes it off of you. he stares at you, his breathing ragged as his eyes stay on your nipples. he leans in and closes his mouth around one, sucking gently and shyly at first, then harder when you sigh and arch into him. his tongue flicks over it and you move your fingers to his hair, holding him there against you.

“that’s it”, you say, the praise warm in your voice, “suck a little harder- yes, just like that”

he moans around your nipple and then moves to the other breast, licking and sucking until both of your nipples are shiny and swollen, as he is completely lost in the taste of you. he moves lower, kissing a trail down your stomach and pressing his lips just above the waistband of your panties. the wet patch has grown and he stares at it before he lowers his head and kisses right over the soaked lace. the heat of his mouth makes you gasp and he does it again, open-mouthed this time, sucking the fabric and the slick underneath.

your hips jerk up and he groans, pressing his face harder against you, licking broad stripes over the lace until it’s completely drenched. 

“fuck, minnie”, you say, your fingers tightening in his hair, “that feels so good. keep going”

he sucks harder then, his tongue pressing the fabric into your folds, and you can feel every desperate noise he makes, every single move of his body against the bed. your thighs tremble around his head and he keep licking and sucking until the lace is dripping. he looks at you and when you nod your head, he hooks his fingers into the waistband and drags the panties down your legs with your help and the moment they’re off, he dives back in, his mouth sealing over your bare cunt now.

“f-fuck… seungmin”

his tongue is hot and eager, licking from your entrance up to your clit before circling there. you moan loud and unrestrained, your hips rolling against his face as he sucks your clit between his lips.

“such a good boy for me- yes, just like that. fuck… your mouth feels amazing”, you say.

seungmin whines against you, your words making him go crazy. he licks lower, pushing his tongue inside you, fucking you with it before returning to your clit, making you scream louder than before. one of his hands slides up your thigh and you feel two fingers press against your entrance. he hesitates at first but then he slides them inside you, stretching you open while his mouth keeps working your clit.

“don’t stop”, you gasp, your back arching off the bed, “i’m gonna come- seungmin, i’m gonna come on your tongue”

he moans desperately and sucks harder, his fingers curling until you finally shatter, your thighs shaking around his head as you ride his mouth through your orgasm. he doesn’t pull away, he licks you through it until you finally go limp, panting.

when you open your eyes, you look at him and find him still between your legs, his face shiny with your juices. but there’s something uneasy in his expression and you reach down and stroke his cheek.

“hey… what’s wrong?”, you ask him softly.

he looks at you shyly, then looks away, his cheeks burning. he moves a bit then and glances down at his own lap. you follow his gaze and you see the front of his grey sweatpants completely dark and soaked, a large wet patch spreading across the fabric. he came untouched, just from eating you out. you feel yourself clench again at the sight, fresh arousal dripping down your thigh. 

“that’s so fucking hot”, you tell him, your voice completely honest and sincere, “you came just from making me come? oh god, seungmin… come here”, you say as you reach for him.

he obeys you instantly, crawling up your body until his face is level with yours. you pull him into a deep kiss, tasting yourself on his tongue, and he moans into your mouth. your hands slide down his back, feeling the way he trembles under your touch, and you kiss him again, slower this time, letting him feel how much you want him. 

your tongues slide together, wet and hungry, both of you breathing hard. you can feel him already getting hard again against your thigh, the sticky mess in his clothes pressing against your skin. you moan into the kiss and he answers with a shaky whimper, completely lost in you.

your hand slips down between your bodies, sliding straight under the waistband of his sweatpants and into his boxers. the moment your fingers wrap around his cock, still sticky from his earlier orgasm, seungmin whines into your mouth, the sound high and needy. his hips jerk forward instinctively, pushing his cock into your palm as if he can’t help himself. you stroke him slowly at first, feeling how he gets hard again, the precum already beading at the tip one more time.

“y/n…”, he moans against your mouth.

“shh, it’s okay”, you murmur, “you’re such a good student, minnie. but i need to see what else you learnt from watching me”

you pump his cock with a firm rhythm, your thumb circling the sensitive tip on every stroke. his breath stutters and his forehead presses against yours as his hips roll into your hand chasing the friction.

you tug at his sweatpants with your free hand, “help me”

he scrambles to obey, lifting his hips so you can shove both his sweatpants and his boxers down his thighs. he kicks them off the rest of the way, leaving him completely naked now. the moment he’s free, he crawls over you again, settling between your spread legs and his cock, flushed and leaking, brushed against your inner thigh. he looks at you with wide and bright eyes, completely under your control, letting you do whatever you want with him.

you reach down and wrap your fingers around his cock again, guiding the tip to your entrance. 

“you ready?”, you ask him, your eyes locked on his.

seungmin just nods, desperate for you, and then he crashes his mouth back onto yours as you line him up. he pushes forward slowly, a bit unsure but so desperate and needy for you that he doesn’t care. a broken moan escapes him and he trembles above you, his arms shaking as he sinks deeper slowly. 

“you feel so good already, minnie. that’s it, take your time. you’re doing so well, my good boy”

he bottoms out with a shaky gasp, buried to the hilt inside you. his forehead drops to your shoulder as he tries to catch his breath, as he tries to stop himself from coming again already. you clench around him and he whimpers, his hips twitching. 

“y-y/n”, he says, his voice trembling.

“come on”, you whisper, nipping at his ear, “show me how much you learnt”

seungmin starts with slow and careful thrusts, pulling almost all the way out before sliding back in. each drag of his cock against your walls makes you moan and you encourage him with kisses and bites on his skin.

“harder. yes, just like that”, you say.

his pace gradually picks up, his hips snapping forward with growing confidence.

“f-fuck… you’re so tight”, he says, his voice breaking, “you feel so good”

you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, “don’t stop. fuck me harder seungmin, i wanna feel you”

he starts moving faster, the bed creaking beneath you. your hands roam his back, your nails dragging down his spine as he fucks you with increasing urgency. both of you are loud now, your cries mixing with his broken moans and desperate grunts. when he’s right on the edge, his hand slides between your bodies until his fingers find your clit and he rubs it the way he watched you do on the livestreams.

your orgasm crashes through you without warning then, making you cry out his name as your walls pulse around his cock. the tight squeeze pushes seungmin over too and you come together, both of you screaming and groaning as you break at the same time.

you both tremble together as you come down from your climaxes, breathing hard. he lies on top of you and you turn your head just enough to kiss him slowly, and when you pull back, a teasing smile curves your mouth.

“so… you couldn’t stop watching my videos, huh?”

his face burns and he tries to hide against your neck, but you just laugh softly and stroke his hair.

“congratulations on ruining my life”, he mumbles against your skin.

you laugh louder this time and move his head just enough to kiss him again.

“you’ve ruined me too, you know”, you say, before you lean in and peck his lips again, “but the good thing is that there’s still so much more i can teach you”, you say, pressing a kiss to his temple this time, “and i’m happy to, whenever you want”

he lifts his head, his eyes soft and shining, and he smiles before leaning in to kiss you again, slow and sweet, the perfect ending to his…

research.

a/n: our sweet puppy’s part is up!! again thank you all soooo much for all your love and support, i’m so happy you all love this series as much as i do 🩷 i hope you’re ready for what’s next: our sunshine brownie boy 😏

the library

likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated 🌟

dividers by my darling @lariesographic 🩷

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[starlostjisung]

Andy!! Did you hear mother Taylor got married?! I'm so happy for her!!!

YES!!!!!!!!

i’m so happy that my girl finally got her happy ending, she deserves to be happy soooo much 🥹🩷