In A Secret Place

Where I Put the Thoughts I Don't Want the World to Know

[starmajesty]

What's Toxic Fandom, and What Creates It?

Almost every anime series, show, movie, comic book, book series, you name it has toxic fans among its fan community. Some more obviously tha

[starmajesty]

Mom: This is my first time seeing peonies in real life!

Me: Me, too!!

I always thought peonies were fragrance free, but the white ones smelled like luxury face cream. The burgundy ones had no scent.

[starmajesty]

I am of the opinion that it's more important for both show! and book! Penelope to love Colin than to be loved by him. When it comes to book!Colin, loving Penelope is more important, but maybe not so much show!Colin. He's a bit obsessed with being worthy and/or envious and the love kinda falls to the wayside. That's where the (primary) narrative falls flat to me. There's already so much drama with the ridiculously high stakes LW storyline, having a strong romance to balance out all the angst would have been great. It's a television drama based on a romance novel and did anyone really feel loved outside of the carriage/mirror scenes? Why couldn't the conflict(s) be external to the [happy] couple? That was a lot of damn second-hand heartache and I generally don't consume media hoping to feel like crap afterwards. Especially not something touted as "so romantic". (NC is way too damn good at PR and I am never following a PR blitz again!)

Just a thought I had that I hadn't seen anybody else already having. 🤷‍♀️

[starmajesty]

Ngl, if Season 3 was on AO3, it probably wouldn't go in my Bookmarks.

That said, the Featherington storylines didn't annoy me like in S2. I thought they were great tension releasers in all the manufactured angst.

And I have serious boob envy. I don't like mine much even on a good day, and NC's are fabulous. (Yes, straight women can appreciate another woman's assets.) Also, how is her skin so smooth? Didn't see a single damn stretch mark.

Am bummed LN lost his bum. I liked him a little thick.

[lisaphantasia]

I remember watching Episode 5 on the Tedum premier and seeing the jump cut during the sex scene and I was thinking.... What have they cut out?

So I didn't watch episode 5 when they dropped on Netflix the next day I just went to episode 6 not thinking anything of it until I rewatched all 4 episodes when i had seen them all.

I got to the sex scene and my jaw dropped when I saw this part in the full scene because holy hell... He's hot

[starmajesty]

This is what's missing in porn and why women find it so unfulfilling they go to fanfic novels. We need to know, see, hear that the guy likes it, too! (That it means something more than just getting off.) We already know what's going on in our heads.

I don't feel that the scene was true to the characters, maybe because the actors aren't adult entertainers and had personal boundaries, but I do appreciate this at least. Whatever other.... qualms.... I have with this season's production, we got that.

[starmajesty]

I've had to fight the urge to cuss out a doctor and a lot of patients in the last week. If I ever get a complaint about a weird smile on my face, I'll have to explain that the alternative would have been so much worse.

[starmajesty]

$370 a month for health insurance and I'm still hit with an ER bill for $1300. (Copay is 950!)

At least I'm not dying? 🤷‍♀️

[starmajesty]

Sure are a lot of price increases going on in my Amazon cart ahead of Prime Day.

[starmajesty]

Man, finding friends on Bumble is hard.

I consider myself an absolute introvert. Most personality tests have me as >90% introvert. The Big 5 test I've taken gave me a 1 for extraversion. ONE.

But I know that if I want to make friends I need to not only offer up information about myself, but be interested in the person I'm talking to and ask questions. I need to contribute to the conversation in a way that keeps it moving forward.

But what do I do if they're not reciprocating the same effort? How long do I keep trying to initiate engaging conversation? A few days? A week? Two? How much energy do I invest before I draw the conclusion that the issue is something other than getting-to-know-each-other hesitancy?

It's good when they answer my questions, or offer an opinion on a topic I proposed, but they often don't seem particularly interested in learning anything about me.

Maybe they don't want a relationship, just a bit of amusement. But I'm not here to entertain people.

[starmajesty]

Bummer. Got my first negative feedback as a seller (and, well, just first ever in eBay).

Buyer was unhappy with the perceived value of their purchase and overlooked explicitly stated details about how the item was made.

I'm used to positive and no feedback, but this feels especially worse because these are things I made myself. I designed this thing to my own tastes. I did the work to market it. Before shipping (as it had been in storage for over 2 years), I cleaned and examined it, and made small quality adjustments. It felt like a personal insult when they called it "crap".

Oh, well. I sent a request to have it removed under the Buyer's Remorse guidelines.

Update: The feedback is not being removed.

[starmajesty]

Three hours. It took me 3 hours to take photos of 50+ items, of which only 26 were new production pieces. I should've just left the old crappy photos, but no, I thought, "I should take better photos of these items."

Next I have to edit, and then write and post the listings.

😭😭😭😭😵😵😵😵

Design and production is fun. I hate all the rest of it.

[starmajesty]

There are not enough words to describe how much I hate selling.

All the things that go into marketing and sales infuriate me to no end.

I either make, or am, the product. If you want it, here I have it. If you don't, I won't care about trying to convince you otherwise.

[starmajesty]

It seems so long ago that life held the promise of a contented future. If only I'd weather the storm.

The future comes and the storm continues to rage.

[starmajesty]

There's a part of me that really wants to freak the fuck out, but if I do it's going to lead to an absolute total physical and mental shut down and I really need to not be useless.

[starmajesty]

Ten years after graduation and I still haven't been able to work into practice the fact that captopril is the only ACE-I with an active thiol moiety.

Also, aryloxypropanolamine.

Damned, useless for practice, pharmaceutical chemistry haunting me all these years later.

[starmajesty]

The next time Colin asks Penelope to dance, she doesn't refuse him, but the song is Careless Whisper by George Michael. The story is all in the eyes.

Or maybe he tries to talk, to explain, to beg forgiveness, but her eyes only show distrust.

This takes some liberties with the original context of the song's lyrics, but it would be some delicious shared tension for a couple that has been frustratingly one-sided thus far.

Idk where S3 is going, but I would like to see them being whole as individuals before becoming "them".

BONUS EDIT

The part where George Michael sings "Please stay" is SO RMB.

[starmajesty]

Did a MAPP assessment and here's some highlights:

"...motivated to voluntarily communicate to others with the intent or hope that the information will be in their interest and for their benefit."

Yo, that's why my comments/reviews (fanfic and Amazon) get so thorough!

"...focus on detail related to data and numbers. Occupations requiring this level of motivation and/or natural or trained abilities include: pharmacists, registered nurses, transportation...."

Well, shit. Call me out why don't you.

"...has a unique motivation to carefully, thoroughly read simple explanatory or instructional statement and fully/accurately know what was said...should regard this unique asset as vocationally important."

Cool. Maybe it's a marketable trait I can leverage if it's that uncommon.

The full assessment seems pricey, but it may provide some valuable insight on how to best utilize my personality traits to move my life and career forward.