deus vult

in the city there’s a castle with walls so strong

[weltenwellen]

Hanif Abdurraqib, "Glamor on the West Streets / Silver Over Everything"

[quotefeeling]

“I wanted it so much. I don’t know why I wanted it so much.”

— Ernest Hemingway, Cat in the Rain

[stunningpicture]

[theinternetarchive]

'women picking olives,' oil on canvas, vincent van gogh, dutch c. 1889.

[uglyfruit]

[ID: 3 green leaves with text stamped on them. They say "It's so hot and the sky's so blue", "I want people to know me", "but it's so hard to tell them". ]

[arcanelife-deactivated20250901]

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on

[apocalypse-polakiewicz]

chee fong

[kyrasaphira]

brushed 14k white gold grillz, with braille reading "bitter," by bitter.000000 (2024)

[explicitlyrics]

ok but literally...

[sickpage]

[opencharacters]

i love you backrooms. i love you scp foundation. i love you goncharov. i love you jenny everywhere. i love you mesperyian, i love you creepypasta, i love you open collaborative creativity!

[russiawave]

vareniki with cherries

[lovefulls]

Metamorphoses — Mary Zimmerman

[to00fu]

quick sketch

[puffsaddy]

[papapiusxiii]

From Leonard Cohen’s final letter to his dying muse, Marianne Ihlen. She died in July 2016, and Cohen followed her shortly after, dying in November 2016.

“Well Marianne it’s come to this time when we are really so old and our bodies are falling apart and I think I will follow you very soon. Know that I am so close behind you that if you stretch out your hand, I think you can reach mine. And you know that I’ve always loved you for your beauty and your wisdom, but I don’t need to say anything more about that because you know all about that. But now, I just want to wish you a very good journey. Goodbye old friend. Endless love, see you down the road.”

— Leonard Cohen

[russiawave]

happy birthday, Atsh’f Lshtshfum.

[inkskinned]

maybe if you had been made right, you would be better at being alone. if you'd assembled yourself out of the particulate, coagulating into amber and diamond - you'd be lovely and desirable. instead of pewter and hungry and anxious.

when she doesn't text you back, you should be normal about that. you should shrug and move on and get back to your beautiful life and your wonderful dog. when you wake up shaking, don't call her, don't beg for her attendance. if someone says i love you, aren't you supposed to feel warm and held and gentle. what is wrong with you that your first instinct is to reject: no, you don't, not really.

what is wrong with you. asking for help from your friends and loved ones is supposed to be a moment of connection and vulnerability. instead you spend hours preparing and weeks recovering. you've done all the reading and you know you are supposed to accept-love-as-it-is presented.

but still the internal questions, litany of the prey animal. do you still love me. am i still attractive. do you care about my interests. am i boring you. are you becoming distant. are you going to leave me. do you like me or are you just managing. am i telling you too much. am i bothering you. do you want me there. am i embarrassing you.

the problem is that your prayers have been right before. you loved someone and they hurt you and now the words sluice against the floorboards no matter how tightly you lock the door. you go to therapy and try to trust and try to be kind and try to assume the best. that everyone is honest and loyal. that you can be happy and alone and miss her but still feel easy, at-home.

it feels like waving a flag in front of a sinking ship. you hold up the scripture and research, preaching: i can do this. i am not going to let my insecurities and fears ruin another relationship.

all of the drowning passengers have your face. they try to say i told you so. i told you this is what ends up happening. their voices are swallowed by the water and the deep below.