Since I barely post on here anymore I have decided to merge my boy group writing blogs again, which means I will post all of my future works over on @sxcret-garden from now on. This also means that my smut writings will be in the same place as my upcoming sfw writings, so please be aware of that if you don't want to see the former^^
This blog will be archived, so everything posted here will stay where it is, but there will be no new posts on here from now on.
most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI
pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments
one shots
A Merry Christmas Eve by @chittapornswife
Hendery x fem!reader (wc - 4.7k)
enemies to lovers, coworkers to lovers
- fluff, crack
Take me to the stars by @yutasbellybuttonpiercing
Hendery x fem!reader (wc - 4k)
university AU
- fluff, smut
get to you again by @moonctzeny
Hendery x fem!reader (wc - 3k)
friends to lovers, mutual pining
- fluff, angst(ish), smut
You wanted to lurch forward at him, tackle him onto the dusty road, and thank him by kissing every inch of his face. Hold him under the stars until you were covered with his smell, and the necklace wouldn’t be needed anymore; you could cling onto that memory instead. The urge was so strong that it made your heart physically hurt, knowing that you fell for the one person you shouldn’t have. But the heart wants what it wants, right?
summertime by @wincore
Hendery x fem!reader (Wc - 4.5k)
childhood friends to lovers, first love AU
- fluff, angst
Even by @starry-nights-garden
Hendery x gn!reader (wc - 0.9k)
established relationship
- fluff
When your boyfriend decides to cheer you up after you’ve been having a rough time, you convince him to let you make it up to him somehow.
series
Sign Me Up by @irregular-idol-imagines
Hendery x fem!reader (wc - 2.1k + 2.1k)
- crack, fluff, smut
you get to know Xiaojun's apartment and his roommate Hendery, who you seem to share a very special kind of humor with as you quickly bond over the existence of sex related neon signs (or alternatively: you're on a lightheaded pun-mission and Hendery is falling in love)
part 1, part 2
wooyoung towers above you as you sit naked on the toilet seat. your hair is still covered with shampoo, suds slowly dripping down your neck, tickling your spine as they burst into nothing. despite the stinging sensation in your eye, you can’t help but giggle up at your boyfriend’s fed up expression.
“i’m being serious, loser,” he hums down at you as he wipes your red eye with a wet wash cloth. it’s cold, but as you go to flinch back he catches your chin in his fingers. his fingers are gentle, softly caressing your jawline as he tries again with the wash cloth. “you’re going to do some serious damage if you’re not more careful.”
you roll your eyes, which only causes them to hurt more. a pained wince leaves your lips; wooyoung glares at you in response. he can hardly blame you, though. you’ve heard this lecture three days in a row now. obviously you’re going to be tired of it.
“i am careful,” you pout as he drags the cloth along your eye. the cold water feels so gross as it penetrates the gap between your lash lines, washing up against your eyeball, but wooyoung doesn’t relent. ruthless as always, he takes care of you and you suppose you can be grateful for that. “it’s not like i’m trying to get shampoo in my eyes. it hurts, y’know…”
“no, i don’t know,” he smirks, “because i’m smart enough not to get shampoo in my eyes every time i shower.”
he takes the rag away from your face and leans in close to inspect the damage. you’re blinking a lot, and your eye is still very red, but the pained whining has stopped so he takes that as a good sign. with one final peck to your lips, and your nose, and your forehead, he sets you free. his hand slips away from your chin and he stands to his full height once more.
it’s upon instinct that you lean forwards, pressing your soapy forehead to his stomach and nuzzling it. your arms find their home around his waist, hands slipping under his tshirt to rest on the bare skin of his back. he groans uncomfortably as the soap soaks through his shirt, wetting a small patch of his stomach but you don’t let go.
“you’ve got me covered in your suds, dummy,” he chuckles as you continue to rub your hair into his tummy, “how about we get you into the shower and wash the rest of this shampoo off? without getting any of it in your eyes this time, though. i don’t want my princess going blind just yet…”
“you’re coming in with me?” you look at at him as you ask, eyes wide and voice hopeful. all he can do is smile down at you, his heart aching in his chest. he nods.
“yeah,” wooyoung hums, “i’ll come in with you, baby.”
"I'm gonna dieeee," you wailed, curling up on the couch. Pouting, you glanced over at Jongho, who was busy preparing breakfast—or at least you thought so—in the kitchen of your shared apartment.
He snorted and shook his head. "You say that every month, yet here you are, alive and well time and time again."
"Would it hurt to console me a little? Try being a woman for a month and see how you like it." With a scoff, you reached for a pillow, ready to throw it at him, but a wave of cramps hit your lower half. Wincing, you clutched the soft material close and waited for the pain to pass.
Damn it, being a woman sucked. If you get pregnant, you suffer for nine months. If you don't, you still suffer every month. Why did you have to be a woman? Life would be so much easier if you were a man. Like that bastard standing there, engrossed in whatever he was doing, neglecting his poor girlfriend who was in so much pain—
"Here you go, babe. I got you your heat pad."
Oh.
Suddenly, you felt guilty for thinking of him that way when all he had been trying to do was ensure your comfort. Your lips quivered as you reached out to him with grabby hands. Damn your period mood swings; they were driving you insane.
His eyes widened in panic at your tears as he rushed over, kneeling beside you and gently pressing the pad onto your stomach, knowing exactly where to hold it by now. One hand on your tummy, the other instinctively cupped your face. "What is it, babe? Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat."
You shook your head, mumbling, "No, that's too much work."
He hummed thoughtfully. "I can cut you some apples, at least?"
"Break them in half, you mean."
He nodded. "Yeah, or that too."
Just as he moved to stand up, presumably to go break some apples, you whined and tugged on his hand. "No, you idiot. I don't need anything else. I just want you to stay here with me… please."
Your boyfriend finally understood the cause of your morning grumpiness. Though your period cramps were always terrible and tended to affect your mood, today you appeared even more restless than usual. He softened as he realised his mistake in fussing over you when all you really wanted was for him to stay by your side.
"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here now. I'll stay with you for as long as you need me to," he whispered, settling beside you and pulling your smaller frame close. His heart fluttered when you immediately snuggled up to him as if it were second nature.
"Good, then stay forever," you murmured, leaning up to kiss his jaw. He gave you a comforting squeeze, his heart skipping a beat at your words. Pressing his lips against your head, he nuzzled his face into your hair, wondering why he hadn't done this sooner.
"Maybe I will," he said, savouring the feeling of you in his arms, pressed against him. The soft sensation of your breath on his skin, the warmth radiating from you, the rise and fall of your chest against his side, and the dreamy way you looked up at him—all of it made him think that staying like this forever wouldn't be so bad. "Be careful what you wish for. You'd better not grow tired of me when I do cling to you forever."
You bit your lip. "Never, Choi Jongho. I'll never get tired of you." With that, you sealed the promise with a kiss that seemed to make all the period cramps in the world disappear.
ATEEZ Masterlist
The way I'm tired asf but felt the need to get this out of my system before going to bed. It's that time of the month for me HAHA I'm in pain and honestly, nothing makes me feel better than being delulu🤡
Anyways, hope y'all enjoyed this random little timestamp and as always, let me know your thoughts! <3
this has been in my drafts for months and i’ve always wondered whether or not i should release it since the material could be triggering to some people. i guess i’ve finally settled on putting it out there, so please heed the warnings before reading it. i don’t want this to affect anyone negatively.
warnings: mentions of past abusive relationships, self doubt, slight dissociation, panic attacks, blood, self harm in the form of skin picking. i think that’s it but please let me know if it’s there’s anything i forgot to mention
——————————————————————————
“I’m not mad,” Wooyoung said, as if that made anything better. The tension was still there, eating you alive from the inside out. So was the guilt.
“But you’re disappointed, right?” You countered, knowing how this sort of thing goes. They tell you they’re not mad, but you have to face the consequences anyway. And there were always consequences.
Wooyoung just stared at you with unreadable eyes. They looked almost pitiful in a way, but why would he pity you for what you’d done? He should be screaming at you, throwing things around just to prove his point. Just to make you submit to him once more. That’s how it normally went for you.
But Wooyoung had been kind up until now. He was a gentle soul who preferred to steer you in the right direction if you ever misstepped. There was never any shouting within the four walls of your relationship, nor was there any placing the blame on you being ‘useless’ or any other such word. He was just… nice.
But there had to be a day when that ended, right? You’d fucked up big time this time and he must’ve realised that his kindness isn’t working by now. He had to know that the only way to get you to learn was by putting you in your place.
“Baby, what’s going on?” You were desperate to answer, fumbling over your words trying to find a suitable answer that would reduce your punishment. Perhaps you could tell him you were sick! That always worked when your last partner was mad at you. It would at least postpone whatever was going to happen for a few days. Wooyoung, just frowned. “Calm down, sweetheart.”
But you couldn’t. You knew this was the breaking point so how could you be calm about such a thing? No matter how gentle Wooyoung had been up until this point, you knew it wouldn’t always stay that way. If you’d been taught anything it’s that you were a bad girlfriend, and the only way to make you good was to hurt you. Fear was a powerful teacher, afterall. Fear wouldn’t let you be so careless about your actions.
It would hurt to say goodbye to this version of Wooyoung, you had to admit, but you always knew it was coming. He couldn’t stay his annoyingly loving self forever because you couldn’t stay well behaved forever. You only had yourself to blame for what was to come, really. Did you even have the right for it to hurt?
No, you decided rather quickly.
Wooyoung stared at you, unsure of what to do as you seemed to completely depart from reality. Your eyes were glazed over as you stared off into the distance, and your fingers picked at one another so bad that it fetched blood. You didn’t flinch as the crimson liquid beaded up on your fingers, though, almost as if it didn’t hurt you at all.
Your breathing was heavy and ragged and Wooyoung could tell you were barely staving off a panic attack. He’d done it often enough himself to know exactly how to recognise it, but for some reason, he didn’t know how to help. Something told him you didn’t want to be touched, but he wasn’t sure of how else to get your attention. He’d been calling your name with no success, but the last thing he wanted was to raise his voice. If he was in the slightest bit angry with you, perhaps he would’ve, but he wasn’t. Not at all.
He spared a quick glance towards the trash can, his favourite mug resting at the top in shards. It was really the only one he used, the weight of it just feeling… right. You’d bought it for him when you first started dating a few months ago and although the saying on it made him cringe a little, he’d learnt to love it. Of course, he was sad to see it go, but it was only a mug. He could always get another one. It wouldn’t be the same, but then again, was anything ever the same as the thing it replaced? And you never know, maybe he’d end up preferring whatever mug he got to replace it.
With a sigh, he turned back to you. There were bigger issues to deal with than a mug. You were still barely keeping away a panic attack and your blood from your fingers starting to smear grotesquely across your hands. He briefly wondered where he kept his first aid kit before realising that too was a problem for later.
“Sweetheart,” he mumbled as he walked closer. He didn’t lay a hand on you but instead spread his arms as if he were herding a scared animal. He felt stupid doing it, but you started to back up and eventually landed upon his sofa. He tried to ignore the pang of pain that shot through his chest when he thought too deep about the implications of the situation, but it was hard when you were backing away from him like he was going to hurt you.
Oh.
His stomach lurched and for a moment he was sure he was going to throw up. He begged for it not to be true, but it fit way too perfectly not to be.
Someone had hurt his baby.
Wooyoung couldn’t help the rage that filled him from head to toe.
He wanted to scream, and throw things, just to get his rage out, but he couldn’t. To risk scaring you even more would be a cruel thing for him to do. Even if he were sure it would make him feel just a little more calm, he couldn’t bear to think of doing anything that would make you afraid of him. He simply had to hope that his anger would eventually peter out, and he wouldn’t be reminded of it every time he looked at you.
Deep breaths, he told himself as he took himself over to the sofa to sit beside you. One in, he shuffled closer so he was almost pressed up against you. You shuddered and Wooyoung frowned, but he didn’t move away. He couldn’t move away.
One out, he said your name in the softest voice he could muster, finally bringing you out of the trance you’d found yourself trapped in. He wondered why this time it worked when all of the other times you ignored him. Perhaps it was his proximity. It was a long shot, but perhaps you felt a little safer with him so close.
One in, he asked if you could hold you in his arms.
One out, you gave him a shaky nod and crawled into his lap. He hated to think that you were only doing it because you thought he’d be mad otherwise, so he let you know that you didn’t have to.
You did it anyway.
“Sweetheart, I need you to tell me that you understand that I’m not angry,” he whispered into your ear, wrapping his arms around you tightly. When he was fresh out of a panic attack, he always liked pressure. With the way you seemed to go limp, he assumed you felt the same. “Not disappointed either. It’s a mug, baby.”
“Your mug,” you replied as if that made your reaction seem any more normal, “I broke your favourite mug.”
Wooyoung sighed. Whilst it was the truth, it was nothing to be angry over. He wondered how many times he’d have to clarify that to you before you understood? Whatever. It didn't matter. He’d tell you as many times as you needed to hear it, just as long as you knew you were safe.
“We’ll it’s only my favourite because my favourite person got it for me,” not a complete lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either. For some reason, though, he felt as though ‘it was a nice weight in my hands’ wouldn’t have been so effective in trying to get you to calm down.
“But I bought you that mug?” His heart broke a little, but he couldn't let that show. He refused to give you another reason to throw mental punches at yourself.
“Well then, I guess that makes you my favourite person.”
There was silence for a few seconds as you considered his words. There was no trace of a lie in his voice, but you still found it hard to believe that he was telling the truth. He was surrounded by so many wonderful people who didn’t fuck up nearly as often as you did, and yet he still chose you to be his favourite? You doubted it, but you would never call Wooyoung a liar.
“And I want my favourite person to know that I would never do anything to hurt them,” he continued, voice suddenly a little more solemn, “because why would I ever want to hurt someone as lovely and precious as you?”
“I’m not lovely,” you hid your face in his neck, partially to cover the blush, partially because you were afraid of what may come at the inadvertent accusation. He merely chuckled, bringing a hand to cup the back of your head.
“Yes you are, you little liar,” a kiss, warm and chaste, was placed to your temple, “and I don’t know how anyone could ever tell you you’re anything less than the most wonderful person to ever walk this planet. You’re so kind and thoughtful and even if you do mess up sometimes, that’s okay because you’re human.”
You just nodded into his neck, no longer wanting to deny his compliments. Even if they were just being used to butter you up, you let them sink in. As long as they came from Wooyoung’s mouth, you told yourself you would believe them, for his sake. He’d yet to prove himself to be anything but a good boyfriend, the least you could do was believe him.
“I love you,” he mumbled into your hair, “so incredibly much.”
“I love you too, Woo.”
“Will you let me patch you up?” He asked, pointing at your fingers but placing his hand over your chest where your heart was beating deep within. You couldn’t know for certain that this relationship would be different, but the look in Wooyoung’s eyes made you feel like you could trust him. It would be a long process, you knew that, but you knew he would put in the work.
Ateez Reaction ✧ Finding out their s/o has self harm scars
✧ Ateez all members x gn!reader
✧ genre: reaction, comfort
✧ warnings: mentions of self harm/self harm scars
Author's note: I've been wanting to write something like this for a long time and always hesitated to do it because I was afraid of any unkind reactions. However, I figured that we all deserve to feel neutral and okay about our scars, so I hope that this can be a comfort to some <3
Hongjoong:
when he first happens to catch a glimpse of your scars on accident he's pretty sure that they're self harm scars
but he'll keep quiet about them, aware that he probably wasn't meant to see them, and in no way does he want to pressure you into talking about something you're not ready to
however he does make sure to drop a "you know you can tell me anything" as soon as he gets the chance for it
once you do decide to tell him though, he'll try his best to just listen and to make it clear that he would never ever judge you for something like this
won't ask too many questions so as not to overwhelm you - instead he'll convey to you that you can always come talk to him about this if you want to
definitely the type to caress and kiss your scars a lot (if you're okay with that), in order to make you feel that you don't need to be ashamed of them or hide them
he will do a lot of research on the topic as well, and will try to find ways to help spread awareness and destigmatize self harm scars
Seonghwa:
when you open up to him about your self harm scars he can't hide the shock that creeps onto his face
words aren't enough to describe just how worried he is, and even before figuring out how he should react, he'll be reaching out for your hands to wrap them tightly into his
it'll take him a while to process what you just told him, but he'll find the right words eventually
"I'm here for you if you need me. Always. Okay?"
thankful for his sincere words, you just nod, and as you're tearing up because he didn't react badly and you can feel just how much you can trust him, tears well up in his eyes as well
attempting to hide them, he offers you a warm hug instead, wanting nothing more than to make you feel protected
after that, you feel like he'll prioritize your wellbeing even more, doing his best to always be there for you and to support you in whatever way possible
he will also take having deep conversations about your feelings even more serious now, and at time where you're feeling down he will become very protective of you and pamper you as much as he can!
Yunho:
he's not sure how to react when you confess to him that you have self harm scars
you can see that he's internally panicking, because whatever he imagined this conversation was going to be about, he would've never considered this option
"A-are you okay?" - the question just bursts out of him as it's the first thing that came to mind, and it's so blunt that it almost makes you chuckle a bit
you assure him that you're okay currently, and he lets out a massive sigh of relief
but as he starts thinking about it some more, he comes to realize that he actually has a lot of questions
he desperately wants to understand your reasons and how you feel about your scars now, etcetc, so he starts carefully asking you about everything that's on his mind
tries his best to understand you as you start explaining, and if you hesitate on a question he'll immediately tell you that you don't have to give him an answer if you feel uncomfortable
talking to you about it definitely makes him feel relieved, and he also won't hesitate to ask about how to help you in a time of crisis, and how to best support you should the urge to hurt yourself return
Yeosang:
he doesn't want to pressure you to talk about them when he first sees your scars, and he's really good at pretending he doesn't know about them, but in a way that also makes it a bit harder for you to finally talk to him about them
and yet when you do manage to tell him, he's still as shocked as if he hadn't already known about them
he doesn't know how to react, so after some consideration he simply asks you how you feel about them
he really wants to know how comfortable you are talking about them, showing them, etcetc, so that he can react more appropriately
will make sure to match your energy on this - if you're uncomfortable he'll go slow and offer that you can talk about them whenever you want to, while also assuring you that you don't have to; if you're comfortable he'll let himself be a bit more curious
either way he will trust you on what you tell him, and when you assure him that he doesn't have to worry he will believe you
instead, he'll offer an open ear whenever you need it, and he will prove to you that it was the right decision to open up to him about it
San:
fears the worst when he catches a glimpse of your scars one day, but tells himself he shouldn't ask about them and instead wait until you're ready to talk about them yourself
but of course this guy will be worried sick within only a few days, until he ends up very carefully asking you about them
and when you confirm his assumption about your scars, he becomes so worried and at the same time so sad that you had to go through such pain that you would resort to hurting yourself
will approach you very slowly, and then cup your face in his hands to get a good look at you, and you swear nobody has ever looked at you with such pure and deep love in their eyes
"If there's anything I can do to make it better... please tell me. I'll do anything."
you nod, and you let him pull you into a loving kiss that he doesn't seem to want to break as his lips linger on yours
aside from the initial shock, he deals with it quite well, but he definitely becomes more protective of you from then on
makes sure to check in with you whenever you seem down or stressed, and reminds you to take care of yourself just as much as he offers to be there for you whenever you need him
if you're okay with it, he will make a habit of tracing your scars mindlessly, while whispering promises about how he'll do whatever he can so that you would never have to feel this bad ever again
Mingi:
the first time he sees your scars he won't know how to react immediately
however, he's sensible enough to figure that he should try to stay calm first of all
but he also knows that if he doesn't ask about them, he will probably lie awake at night, unable to stop worrying about you
and so he somewhat awkwardly asks what those scars are, and when you give him an honest answer he'll be both relieved and shocked
relieved because it means you trust him a lot, and shocked because now he's wondering what kind of pain you must've gone through to make you hurt yourself
this guy immediately offers you open arms in case you want a hug, and when you accept the embrace he'll tell you that whenever you're having a hard time, he'll be there to protect you
doesn't ask any questions and won't make you talk about it, but from then on you notice him checking up on how you're feeling just a bit more frequently, and he makes sure to make you feel that you always have someone to lean on with him, even during difficult conversations
over time he will definitely start giving your scars a lot of attention, especially when you’re cuddling, tracing them with his fingers and kissing them, while repeatedly whispering to you how much he loves you
Wooyoung:
his first thought when he sees your scars isn't that you caused them yourself, but rather that someone else hurt you
so he's understandably upset, and will immediately reach out for you, asking about who did this to you
until it dawns on him that something's not quite right, because now you're staring at him in shock, and eventually you manage to whisper a "me"
he lets go of you and apologizes for reacting like he did, and you can undoubtedly see how he's calming himself down in order to reassess the situation properly
"Do you... want to talk about it?" - he eventually figures he should just ask, and let you decide what to do with this situation
will listen intently in case you say yes, and when you explain to him why you hurt yourself he will make you promise to come talk to him instead, should you ever feel the urge again
gives you kisses and headpats and hugs and anything else you might want after you make the promise, and when he brings you in for a tight hug he'll whisper a thank you for trusting him enough to tell him about it
Jongho:
he won't make it obvious, but by the time you tell him about your scars, he already has a good guess about what they are, based on the few glimpses he's caught of them so far
will control his reaction to your confession very well, so as not to make you worry about his feelings and to focus on you
acknowledges what you choose to tell him about it, and will listen to what you have to say rather than asking questions about it
"You know if there's something you want to talk about, you can always tell me." - will assure you of that while brushing a thumb against your cheek
however, it will soon become obvious that he's more worried than he initially allowed himself to show, because now he refuses to leave your side if you're not feeling well, and somehow you feel like he's more reluctant to let you go when he hugs you
as you talk more about it, he'll trust that you will come talk to him before doing anything stupid, but still he'll stay at least a little protective of you and offer to help distract you in case you feel the need to hurt yourself again
he too is the type who will find himself touching your scars every now and then (if you give him the okay), kissing them or tracing them with his fingertips in hopes that one day you would associate them with something positive as well
Ateez Reaction ✧ Finding out their s/o has self harm scars
✧ Ateez all members x gn!reader
✧ genre: reaction, comfort
✧ warnings: mentions of self harm/self harm scars
Author's note: I've been wanting to write something like this for a long time and always hesitated to do it because I was afraid of any unkind reactions. However, I figured that we all deserve to feel neutral and okay about our scars, so I hope that this can be a comfort to some <3
Hongjoong:
when he first happens to catch a glimpse of your scars on accident he's pretty sure that they're self harm scars
but he'll keep quiet about them, aware that he probably wasn't meant to see them, and in no way does he want to pressure you into talking about something you're not ready to
however he does make sure to drop a "you know you can tell me anything" as soon as he gets the chance for it
once you do decide to tell him though, he'll try his best to just listen and to make it clear that he would never ever judge you for something like this
won't ask too many questions so as not to overwhelm you - instead he'll convey to you that you can always come talk to him about this if you want to
definitely the type to caress and kiss your scars a lot (if you're okay with that), in order to make you feel that you don't need to be ashamed of them or hide them
he will do a lot of research on the topic as well, and will try to find ways to help spread awareness and destigmatize self harm scars
Seonghwa:
when you open up to him about your self harm scars he can't hide the shock that creeps onto his face
words aren't enough to describe just how worried he is, and even before figuring out how he should react, he'll be reaching out for your hands to wrap them tightly into his
it'll take him a while to process what you just told him, but he'll find the right words eventually
"I'm here for you if you need me. Always. Okay?"
thankful for his sincere words, you just nod, and as you're tearing up because he didn't react badly and you can feel just how much you can trust him, tears well up in his eyes as well
attempting to hide them, he offers you a warm hug instead, wanting nothing more than to make you feel protected
after that, you feel like he'll prioritize your wellbeing even more, doing his best to always be there for you and to support you in whatever way possible
he will also take having deep conversations about your feelings even more serious now, and at time where you're feeling down he will become very protective of you and pamper you as much as he can!
Yunho:
he's not sure how to react when you confess to him that you have self harm scars
you can see that he's internally panicking, because whatever he imagined this conversation was going to be about, he would've never considered this option
"A-are you okay?" - the question just bursts out of him as it's the first thing that came to mind, and it's so blunt that it almost makes you chuckle a bit
you assure him that you're okay currently, and he lets out a massive sigh of relief
but as he starts thinking about it some more, he comes to realize that he actually has a lot of questions
he desperately wants to understand your reasons and how you feel about your scars now, etcetc, so he starts carefully asking you about everything that's on his mind
tries his best to understand you as you start explaining, and if you hesitate on a question he'll immediately tell you that you don't have to give him an answer if you feel uncomfortable
talking to you about it definitely makes him feel relieved, and he also won't hesitate to ask about how to help you in a time of crisis, and how to best support you should the urge to hurt yourself return
Yeosang:
he doesn't want to pressure you to talk about them when he first sees your scars, and he's really good at pretending he doesn't know about them, but in a way that also makes it a bit harder for you to finally talk to him about them
and yet when you do manage to tell him, he's still as shocked as if he hadn't already known about them
he doesn't know how to react, so after some consideration he simply asks you how you feel about them
he really wants to know how comfortable you are talking about them, showing them, etcetc, so that he can react more appropriately
will make sure to match your energy on this - if you're uncomfortable he'll go slow and offer that you can talk about them whenever you want to, while also assuring you that you don't have to; if you're comfortable he'll let himself be a bit more curious
either way he will trust you on what you tell him, and when you assure him that he doesn't have to worry he will believe you
instead, he'll offer an open ear whenever you need it, and he will prove to you that it was the right decision to open up to him about it
San:
fears the worst when he catches a glimpse of your scars one day, but tells himself he shouldn't ask about them and instead wait until you're ready to talk about them yourself
but of course this guy will be worried sick within only a few days, until he ends up very carefully asking you about them
and when you confirm his assumption about your scars, he becomes so worried and at the same time so sad that you had to go through such pain that you would resort to hurting yourself
will approach you very slowly, and then cup your face in his hands to get a good look at you, and you swear nobody has ever looked at you with such pure and deep love in their eyes
"If there's anything I can do to make it better... please tell me. I'll do anything."
you nod, and you let him pull you into a loving kiss that he doesn't seem to want to break as his lips linger on yours
aside from the initial shock, he deals with it quite well, but he definitely becomes more protective of you from then on
makes sure to check in with you whenever you seem down or stressed, and reminds you to take care of yourself just as much as he offers to be there for you whenever you need him
if you're okay with it, he will make a habit of tracing your scars mindlessly, while whispering promises about how he'll do whatever he can so that you would never have to feel this bad ever again
Mingi:
the first time he sees your scars he won't know how to react immediately
however, he's sensible enough to figure that he should try to stay calm first of all
but he also knows that if he doesn't ask about them, he will probably lie awake at night, unable to stop worrying about you
and so he somewhat awkwardly asks what those scars are, and when you give him an honest answer he'll be both relieved and shocked
relieved because it means you trust him a lot, and shocked because now he's wondering what kind of pain you must've gone through to make you hurt yourself
this guy immediately offers you open arms in case you want a hug, and when you accept the embrace he'll tell you that whenever you're having a hard time, he'll be there to protect you
doesn't ask any questions and won't make you talk about it, but from then on you notice him checking up on how you're feeling just a bit more frequently, and he makes sure to make you feel that you always have someone to lean on with him, even during difficult conversations
over time he will definitely start giving your scars a lot of attention, especially when you’re cuddling, tracing them with his fingers and kissing them, while repeatedly whispering to you how much he loves you
Wooyoung:
his first thought when he sees your scars isn't that you caused them yourself, but rather that someone else hurt you
so he's understandably upset, and will immediately reach out for you, asking about who did this to you
until it dawns on him that something's not quite right, because now you're staring at him in shock, and eventually you manage to whisper a "me"
he lets go of you and apologizes for reacting like he did, and you can undoubtedly see how he's calming himself down in order to reassess the situation properly
"Do you... want to talk about it?" - he eventually figures he should just ask, and let you decide what to do with this situation
will listen intently in case you say yes, and when you explain to him why you hurt yourself he will make you promise to come talk to him instead, should you ever feel the urge again
gives you kisses and headpats and hugs and anything else you might want after you make the promise, and when he brings you in for a tight hug he'll whisper a thank you for trusting him enough to tell him about it
Jongho:
he won't make it obvious, but by the time you tell him about your scars, he already has a good guess about what they are, based on the few glimpses he's caught of them so far
will control his reaction to your confession very well, so as not to make you worry about his feelings and to focus on you
acknowledges what you choose to tell him about it, and will listen to what you have to say rather than asking questions about it
"You know if there's something you want to talk about, you can always tell me." - will assure you of that while brushing a thumb against your cheek
however, it will soon become obvious that he's more worried than he initially allowed himself to show, because now he refuses to leave your side if you're not feeling well, and somehow you feel like he's more reluctant to let you go when he hugs you
as you talk more about it, he'll trust that you will come talk to him before doing anything stupid, but still he'll stay at least a little protective of you and offer to help distract you in case you feel the need to hurt yourself again
he too is the type who will find himself touching your scars every now and then (if you give him the okay), kissing them or tracing them with his fingertips in hopes that one day you would associate them with something positive as well
Ateez Reaction ✧ Finding out their s/o has self harm scars
✧ Ateez all members x gn!reader
✧ genre: reaction, comfort
✧ warnings: mentions of self harm/self harm scars
Author's note: I've been wanting to write something like this for a long time and always hesitated to do it because I was afraid of any unkind reactions. However, I figured that we all deserve to feel neutral and okay about our scars, so I hope that this can be a comfort to some <3
Hongjoong:
when he first happens to catch a glimpse of your scars on accident he's pretty sure that they're self harm scars
but he'll keep quiet about them, aware that he probably wasn't meant to see them, and in no way does he want to pressure you into talking about something you're not ready to
however he does make sure to drop a "you know you can tell me anything" as soon as he gets the chance for it
once you do decide to tell him though, he'll try his best to just listen and to make it clear that he would never ever judge you for something like this
won't ask too many questions so as not to overwhelm you - instead he'll convey to you that you can always come talk to him about this if you want to
definitely the type to caress and kiss your scars a lot (if you're okay with that), in order to make you feel that you don't need to be ashamed of them or hide them
he will do a lot of research on the topic as well, and will try to find ways to help spread awareness and destigmatize self harm scars
Seonghwa:
when you open up to him about your self harm scars he can't hide the shock that creeps onto his face
words aren't enough to describe just how worried he is, and even before figuring out how he should react, he'll be reaching out for your hands to wrap them tightly into his
it'll take him a while to process what you just told him, but he'll find the right words eventually
"I'm here for you if you need me. Always. Okay?"
thankful for his sincere words, you just nod, and as you're tearing up because he didn't react badly and you can feel just how much you can trust him, tears well up in his eyes as well
attempting to hide them, he offers you a warm hug instead, wanting nothing more than to make you feel protected
after that, you feel like he'll prioritize your wellbeing even more, doing his best to always be there for you and to support you in whatever way possible
he will also take having deep conversations about your feelings even more serious now, and at time where you're feeling down he will become very protective of you and pamper you as much as he can!
Yunho:
he's not sure how to react when you confess to him that you have self harm scars
you can see that he's internally panicking, because whatever he imagined this conversation was going to be about, he would've never considered this option
"A-are you okay?" - the question just bursts out of him as it's the first thing that came to mind, and it's so blunt that it almost makes you chuckle a bit
you assure him that you're okay currently, and he lets out a massive sigh of relief
but as he starts thinking about it some more, he comes to realize that he actually has a lot of questions
he desperately wants to understand your reasons and how you feel about your scars now, etcetc, so he starts carefully asking you about everything that's on his mind
tries his best to understand you as you start explaining, and if you hesitate on a question he'll immediately tell you that you don't have to give him an answer if you feel uncomfortable
talking to you about it definitely makes him feel relieved, and he also won't hesitate to ask about how to help you in a time of crisis, and how to best support you should the urge to hurt yourself return
Yeosang:
he doesn't want to pressure you to talk about them when he first sees your scars, and he's really good at pretending he doesn't know about them, but in a way that also makes it a bit harder for you to finally talk to him about them
and yet when you do manage to tell him, he's still as shocked as if he hadn't already known about them
he doesn't know how to react, so after some consideration he simply asks you how you feel about them
he really wants to know how comfortable you are talking about them, showing them, etcetc, so that he can react more appropriately
will make sure to match your energy on this - if you're uncomfortable he'll go slow and offer that you can talk about them whenever you want to, while also assuring you that you don't have to; if you're comfortable he'll let himself be a bit more curious
either way he will trust you on what you tell him, and when you assure him that he doesn't have to worry he will believe you
instead, he'll offer an open ear whenever you need it, and he will prove to you that it was the right decision to open up to him about it
San:
fears the worst when he catches a glimpse of your scars one day, but tells himself he shouldn't ask about them and instead wait until you're ready to talk about them yourself
but of course this guy will be worried sick within only a few days, until he ends up very carefully asking you about them
and when you confirm his assumption about your scars, he becomes so worried and at the same time so sad that you had to go through such pain that you would resort to hurting yourself
will approach you very slowly, and then cup your face in his hands to get a good look at you, and you swear nobody has ever looked at you with such pure and deep love in their eyes
"If there's anything I can do to make it better... please tell me. I'll do anything."
you nod, and you let him pull you into a loving kiss that he doesn't seem to want to break as his lips linger on yours
aside from the initial shock, he deals with it quite well, but he definitely becomes more protective of you from then on
makes sure to check in with you whenever you seem down or stressed, and reminds you to take care of yourself just as much as he offers to be there for you whenever you need him
if you're okay with it, he will make a habit of tracing your scars mindlessly, while whispering promises about how he'll do whatever he can so that you would never have to feel this bad ever again
Mingi:
the first time he sees your scars he won't know how to react immediately
however, he's sensible enough to figure that he should try to stay calm first of all
but he also knows that if he doesn't ask about them, he will probably lie awake at night, unable to stop worrying about you
and so he somewhat awkwardly asks what those scars are, and when you give him an honest answer he'll be both relieved and shocked
relieved because it means you trust him a lot, and shocked because now he's wondering what kind of pain you must've gone through to make you hurt yourself
this guy immediately offers you open arms in case you want a hug, and when you accept the embrace he'll tell you that whenever you're having a hard time, he'll be there to protect you
doesn't ask any questions and won't make you talk about it, but from then on you notice him checking up on how you're feeling just a bit more frequently, and he makes sure to make you feel that you always have someone to lean on with him, even during difficult conversations
over time he will definitely start giving your scars a lot of attention, especially when you’re cuddling, tracing them with his fingers and kissing them, while repeatedly whispering to you how much he loves you
Wooyoung:
his first thought when he sees your scars isn't that you caused them yourself, but rather that someone else hurt you
so he's understandably upset, and will immediately reach out for you, asking about who did this to you
until it dawns on him that something's not quite right, because now you're staring at him in shock, and eventually you manage to whisper a "me"
he lets go of you and apologizes for reacting like he did, and you can undoubtedly see how he's calming himself down in order to reassess the situation properly
"Do you... want to talk about it?" - he eventually figures he should just ask, and let you decide what to do with this situation
will listen intently in case you say yes, and when you explain to him why you hurt yourself he will make you promise to come talk to him instead, should you ever feel the urge again
gives you kisses and headpats and hugs and anything else you might want after you make the promise, and when he brings you in for a tight hug he'll whisper a thank you for trusting him enough to tell him about it
Jongho:
he won't make it obvious, but by the time you tell him about your scars, he already has a good guess about what they are, based on the few glimpses he's caught of them so far
will control his reaction to your confession very well, so as not to make you worry about his feelings and to focus on you
acknowledges what you choose to tell him about it, and will listen to what you have to say rather than asking questions about it
"You know if there's something you want to talk about, you can always tell me." - will assure you of that while brushing a thumb against your cheek
however, it will soon become obvious that he's more worried than he initially allowed himself to show, because now he refuses to leave your side if you're not feeling well, and somehow you feel like he's more reluctant to let you go when he hugs you
as you talk more about it, he'll trust that you will come talk to him before doing anything stupid, but still he'll stay at least a little protective of you and offer to help distract you in case you feel the need to hurt yourself again
he too is the type who will find himself touching your scars every now and then (if you give him the okay), kissing them or tracing them with his fingertips in hopes that one day you would associate them with something positive as well
Ateez Reaction ✧ Finding out their s/o has self harm scars
✧ Ateez all members x gn!reader
✧ genre: reaction, comfort
✧ warnings: mentions of self harm/self harm scars
Author's note: I've been wanting to write something like this for a long time and always hesitated to do it because I was afraid of any unkind reactions. However, I figured that we all deserve to feel neutral and okay about our scars, so I hope that this can be a comfort to some <3
Hongjoong:
when he first happens to catch a glimpse of your scars on accident he's pretty sure that they're self harm scars
but he'll keep quiet about them, aware that he probably wasn't meant to see them, and in no way does he want to pressure you into talking about something you're not ready to
however he does make sure to drop a "you know you can tell me anything" as soon as he gets the chance for it
once you do decide to tell him though, he'll try his best to just listen and to make it clear that he would never ever judge you for something like this
won't ask too many questions so as not to overwhelm you - instead he'll convey to you that you can always come talk to him about this if you want to
definitely the type to caress and kiss your scars a lot (if you're okay with that), in order to make you feel that you don't need to be ashamed of them or hide them
he will do a lot of research on the topic as well, and will try to find ways to help spread awareness and destigmatize self harm scars
Seonghwa:
when you open up to him about your self harm scars he can't hide the shock that creeps onto his face
words aren't enough to describe just how worried he is, and even before figuring out how he should react, he'll be reaching out for your hands to wrap them tightly into his
it'll take him a while to process what you just told him, but he'll find the right words eventually
"I'm here for you if you need me. Always. Okay?"
thankful for his sincere words, you just nod, and as you're tearing up because he didn't react badly and you can feel just how much you can trust him, tears well up in his eyes as well
attempting to hide them, he offers you a warm hug instead, wanting nothing more than to make you feel protected
after that, you feel like he'll prioritize your wellbeing even more, doing his best to always be there for you and to support you in whatever way possible
he will also take having deep conversations about your feelings even more serious now, and at time where you're feeling down he will become very protective of you and pamper you as much as he can!
Yunho:
he's not sure how to react when you confess to him that you have self harm scars
you can see that he's internally panicking, because whatever he imagined this conversation was going to be about, he would've never considered this option
"A-are you okay?" - the question just bursts out of him as it's the first thing that came to mind, and it's so blunt that it almost makes you chuckle a bit
you assure him that you're okay currently, and he lets out a massive sigh of relief
but as he starts thinking about it some more, he comes to realize that he actually has a lot of questions
he desperately wants to understand your reasons and how you feel about your scars now, etcetc, so he starts carefully asking you about everything that's on his mind
tries his best to understand you as you start explaining, and if you hesitate on a question he'll immediately tell you that you don't have to give him an answer if you feel uncomfortable
talking to you about it definitely makes him feel relieved, and he also won't hesitate to ask about how to help you in a time of crisis, and how to best support you should the urge to hurt yourself return
Yeosang:
he doesn't want to pressure you to talk about them when he first sees your scars, and he's really good at pretending he doesn't know about them, but in a way that also makes it a bit harder for you to finally talk to him about them
and yet when you do manage to tell him, he's still as shocked as if he hadn't already known about them
he doesn't know how to react, so after some consideration he simply asks you how you feel about them
he really wants to know how comfortable you are talking about them, showing them, etcetc, so that he can react more appropriately
will make sure to match your energy on this - if you're uncomfortable he'll go slow and offer that you can talk about them whenever you want to, while also assuring you that you don't have to; if you're comfortable he'll let himself be a bit more curious
either way he will trust you on what you tell him, and when you assure him that he doesn't have to worry he will believe you
instead, he'll offer an open ear whenever you need it, and he will prove to you that it was the right decision to open up to him about it
San:
fears the worst when he catches a glimpse of your scars one day, but tells himself he shouldn't ask about them and instead wait until you're ready to talk about them yourself
but of course this guy will be worried sick within only a few days, until he ends up very carefully asking you about them
and when you confirm his assumption about your scars, he becomes so worried and at the same time so sad that you had to go through such pain that you would resort to hurting yourself
will approach you very slowly, and then cup your face in his hands to get a good look at you, and you swear nobody has ever looked at you with such pure and deep love in their eyes
"If there's anything I can do to make it better... please tell me. I'll do anything."
you nod, and you let him pull you into a loving kiss that he doesn't seem to want to break as his lips linger on yours
aside from the initial shock, he deals with it quite well, but he definitely becomes more protective of you from then on
makes sure to check in with you whenever you seem down or stressed, and reminds you to take care of yourself just as much as he offers to be there for you whenever you need him
if you're okay with it, he will make a habit of tracing your scars mindlessly, while whispering promises about how he'll do whatever he can so that you would never have to feel this bad ever again
Mingi:
the first time he sees your scars he won't know how to react immediately
however, he's sensible enough to figure that he should try to stay calm first of all
but he also knows that if he doesn't ask about them, he will probably lie awake at night, unable to stop worrying about you
and so he somewhat awkwardly asks what those scars are, and when you give him an honest answer he'll be both relieved and shocked
relieved because it means you trust him a lot, and shocked because now he's wondering what kind of pain you must've gone through to make you hurt yourself
this guy immediately offers you open arms in case you want a hug, and when you accept the embrace he'll tell you that whenever you're having a hard time, he'll be there to protect you
doesn't ask any questions and won't make you talk about it, but from then on you notice him checking up on how you're feeling just a bit more frequently, and he makes sure to make you feel that you always have someone to lean on with him, even during difficult conversations
over time he will definitely start giving your scars a lot of attention, especially when you’re cuddling, tracing them with his fingers and kissing them, while repeatedly whispering to you how much he loves you
Wooyoung:
his first thought when he sees your scars isn't that you caused them yourself, but rather that someone else hurt you
so he's understandably upset, and will immediately reach out for you, asking about who did this to you
until it dawns on him that something's not quite right, because now you're staring at him in shock, and eventually you manage to whisper a "me"
he lets go of you and apologizes for reacting like he did, and you can undoubtedly see how he's calming himself down in order to reassess the situation properly
"Do you... want to talk about it?" - he eventually figures he should just ask, and let you decide what to do with this situation
will listen intently in case you say yes, and when you explain to him why you hurt yourself he will make you promise to come talk to him instead, should you ever feel the urge again
gives you kisses and headpats and hugs and anything else you might want after you make the promise, and when he brings you in for a tight hug he'll whisper a thank you for trusting him enough to tell him about it
Jongho:
he won't make it obvious, but by the time you tell him about your scars, he already has a good guess about what they are, based on the few glimpses he's caught of them so far
will control his reaction to your confession very well, so as not to make you worry about his feelings and to focus on you
acknowledges what you choose to tell him about it, and will listen to what you have to say rather than asking questions about it
"You know if there's something you want to talk about, you can always tell me." - will assure you of that while brushing a thumb against your cheek
however, it will soon become obvious that he's more worried than he initially allowed himself to show, because now he refuses to leave your side if you're not feeling well, and somehow you feel like he's more reluctant to let you go when he hugs you
as you talk more about it, he'll trust that you will come talk to him before doing anything stupid, but still he'll stay at least a little protective of you and offer to help distract you in case you feel the need to hurt yourself again
he too is the type who will find himself touching your scars every now and then (if you give him the okay), kissing them or tracing them with his fingertips in hopes that one day you would associate them with something positive as well
imagine you and san lay in bed together on a lazy morning. the curtains are only just open, casting a hazy light over your barely clothed bodies.
san is wearing nothing more than a pair of plaid joggers that sit low on his hips. you on the other hand, wear one of his shirts and a pair of pink cotton panties. the shirt has ridden up around your waist, thighs on full display.
san likes that fact, perhaps a little too much. your thighs are his favourite pillow, after all. it’s even better when they’re bare and he can lay with his head pressed firmly against one, fingers drawing dainty patterns against the other. it’s no secret just how much he likes the skin to skin contact.
you sit with your back against the headboard. you have one hand on his head, fingers running through his short hair, tugging at the strands every now and then. in your other sits your phone.
“i like these,” san hums, tracing his finger over your thigh in the shape of a lightning bolt. you pull your eyes away from your screen to watch as he traces over a stretch mark before moving to a different one and giving it the same treatment.
“my stretch marks?” he hums in response. you put your phone down to give him your full attention. “any reason?”
he flattens his palm against your thigh and rubs it up and down.
“pretty…” he sighs as he leans forward to kiss the meat of your thigh, “they look like water does when it’s rippling. you know like when the sun hits it and you can’t help but stare at it for a while?”
he looks up at you with wide eyes.
“fuck, you’re pretty.”
you can’t help but crack a smile. not when he’s looking at you like you hold the sun, moon and stars in the palms of your hands.
“sappy baby,” you call him, running your nails over his scalp. his eyes flutter closed at the sensation, a low groan leaving his lip, “you must really love me…”
“more than anything,” he whispers as he opens his eyes again, “and every single day i find something new that just makes me love you more.”
he kisses your thigh again, and again, and again. it takes a moment to realise that he’s pressing kisses to every single stretch mark he can get his lips on. when you do, you giggle.
“you really like my stretch marks, hm?”
“oh, i’m never leaving these babies alone,” he cracks a smile, “i didn’t think i could love these thighs any more than i already did but you always find a way to prove me wrong, don’t you?”
Notes: I hope I displayed everything correctly hehe I think all of them would be very supportive and sweet! I know I am a bit late but happy day of trans visibility! You are loved! No matter what!
Tags: @jonghoisbabie @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers-writes @serialee @galaxteez @cometoceantrenches @em–ilysm @deja-vux @aurianaaaa (let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist) @jonghoshoe
——————————————-
Hongjoong:
He wasn’t really surprised when you sat down with him to tell him that you’re trans. He had always sensed it, from the way you dressed and talked about yourself. There was this weird distance when you talked about yourself, as if you were talking about someone else. And Hongjoong knew that you never really were comfortable in your body, he just didn’t know the reason.
But when you decided to open up to him, all you received was unlimited support. The first thing he asked was if you wanted to go shopping with him. His treat.
The first snowfall, dark night with the fireplace on, cooking homemade food, laughter and gatherings with loved ones, cracking jokes, ice skating.
Jungsu - Late Summer (end of August)
Sipping wine together in the evening, the sound of the waves crashing, lukewarm sand underneath your feet, wearing airy blouses and tank tops, a chilly breeze.
Jiseok - Mid Summer (July)
Waterparks, sticky hands from melting ice cream, the smell of sunscreen, limbo dancing, shell necklaces, going shopping for swim suits.
Seungmin - Late Spring (mid to end of May)
Cherry blossoms, picnics, handmade bracelets, pink and lilac tones, peach lemonade, airy citrus cakes, bike rides.
Hyeongjun - Late Winter (early February)
Frost in the morning, red noses, listening to your favorite songs in bed, warming your hands in your lover's hands, hot chocolate.
Jooyeon - Mid Autumn - (end of October)
Corn mazes and linking fingers to not lose each other, slasher movies, shades of red, buttered popcorn, late night snack run, lollipops, face paint.
7dream’s reaction to you calling them by their pet name for the first time
sorry it took so long for me to post :( hope you all missed me..hehe..jk…😭
Mark
Mark will not stop calling you cute. He’ll be teasing and smirking nonstop. He’ll probably pull out his phone and record you calling him a pet name because he would do ANYTHING to hear you call him “babe, handsome, cutie, etc”. Would probably write about it in his diary and have butterflies in his stomach.
Renjun
Doesn’t show that he’s affected but internally screaming. He’ll play it cool in front of you but when he goes into the bathroom or somewhere private, his face will be in a blushing mess. He doubted his ears but he keeps replaying the moment you called him a pet name. He thought it was so adorable and becomes so desperate for you to call him “baby” again. He might pull you to the side and says in a straight face “y/n, call me by a pet name from now on, I’m serious”
Jeno
“What was that?” Jeno definitely doubted his ears when he first heard you call him by a pet name. He goes in silence and replays what just happened. Once he finally believes that you called him by a pet name, he starts smiling and he’ll have the cutest, biggest, most adorable smile you’ve ever seen in your entire life. He makes it a goal for you to call him by a pet name instead of his name.
Haechan
Shocked asf. Man couldn’t even believe what he heard. He’ll be so dramatic and be like “Y/N DID I JUST HEAR THAT RIGHT? DID YOU CALL ME BABY?????HOLD ON I GOTTA GET MY PHONE AND RECORD THIS, CALL ME BABE ONE MORE TIME”. If you wanna tease him and not call him by a pet name, haechan will literally get on his knees begging for you to call the pet name you called to him. He doesn’t stop until he gets what he wants. Will get very clingy for the rest of the day and starts flexing on his friends about it.
Jaemin
“Oh? Did I just hear you call me by a pet name? You’re so adorable princess” Jaemin will NOT stop smiling and you made his day 100x better. Since you called him by a pet name, Jaemin will start thinking of a perfect pet name for you. He’s so determined to think of the best pet name in the world and it’ll take days until he calls you by that name.
Chenle
“Say that one more time” Chenle will get so serious the moment he hears you call him by a pet name. This man is no joke and is one step closer to putting a ring on your finger. He’s affirmed that you’re the love of his life and needs you by his side until you two die. He saw his whole life planned out with you the moment you called him by a pet name.
Jisung
“😐🤨😲” three stages of realization when you called him by a pet name for the first time. Jisung wouldn’t even know what to do. He’s internally melting inside and is about to go crazy. He gets all flustered and starts stuttering like crazy. Malfunctioning until you try to calm him down. Once he calms down, he’ll give you the softest hug and will not let you go.
Desc.: In which you ask your boyfriend to play you a song.
A melody resounds from the other room, filling your ears and involuntarily making you smile. You look up from your notes for a while, granting yourself a study break as you just listen to the soothing tune filling the small apartment. The song stops for a second, then changes into a new one. The rhythm is different, but it's equally nice to listen to.
You get up eventually, deciding to go watch your boyfriend play for a while, and so you make your way to the other room. You find him sitting comfortably on his bed, an acoustic guitar in his lap, and when he notices you walking in, he merely greets you with a smile, but never once does he stop playing. You don't say anything either, and you simply sit down on the floor in front of him, pretending you're in the audience of the little concert he's giving, his bed being the stage. When Hyeongjun catches onto your thought process as soon as you switch on your phone's flashlight, waving it from side to side above your head, he cracks up and takes his hands away from the instrument, the melody stopping at once.
"Noooo, don't stop!" you whine, letting your hands sink back into your lap, and you watch your boyfriend letting out a short laugh.
"Ah, anything you want to hear then?" he asks, looking away shyly now, while acting as if he was trying to figure out a chord. His fingertips are wandering from one spot on the guitar to the other, until you finally give him an answer.
"Nothing specific," you say. "Just play whatever comes to mind!"
"Then... what about..." Hyeongjun plays a single chord that reminds you of the kind of song you'd hear from a street musician somewhere in southern Europe. "There's this song I've been working on. Though I doubt we'd be able to release that as a band, but I wanted to play it at least for you."
"Sounds good," you reply, starting to feel curious. So he begins, no hesitation behind the movements of his hands, and you close your eyes. Taking in the music, a scenery is now beginning to form in front of your inner eye. You can clearly see the landscape of the south now, can see houses and restaurants and people walking around, maybe you're thinking of Spain, you're not sure at that very moment. Either way, the image that your boyfriend's song evokes makes you feel free and at peace and a bit adventurous too.
He reaches a faster part of the song, the succession of notes changing quickly, and you can't help but open your eyes. You find yourself staring at his hands now, observing the way his fingers are elegantly dancing across the fretboard. He makes it look so effortless, though you know how much he practiced to get to where he is now, and it leaves you in awe over his skills even more.
The song comes to an end and Hyeongjun lightly puts his right hand over the strings of the guitar, in order to quiet down any remaining sounds. You find him smiling somewhat proudly over his work, though he's still looking away as if a part of him was also shy about showcasing his creation like this. However, you jump up from where you had been sitting and you begin clapping your hands to let him know that you liked what you just heard.
"That sounds so good!" you praise him as you approach him. Your boyfriend puts his guitar aside, looking up at you.
"Really?"
"Yeah!" you exclaim. "Like... wow, you really play so well. And that you can just make a song like that... I could never do that." He laughs at your comment, cheeks reddening and the creases next to his eyes appear along with a bright smile.
"I'm glad then," he says, watching you sitting down on the bed in front of him. You return his smile as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, making him feel shy again as you draw near.
"I'm so proud of you," you mutter, connecting your lips to his in a warm kiss the next moment. You pull back after a while, and when he cups your cheek with his hands, you kiss him again. When he lets his fingers trail down to the side of your neck, and eventually down your body in order to rest on your waist, the way his fingertips feel against your skin makes you smile, having gotten rough from playing his instrument every day. Wanting to feel them more, you retrieve your hands from behind his back, searching for his and eventually intertwining your fingers. You part for a second to exchange smiles, but it doesn't take long for him to find your lips again, fingertips pressing into the backs of your hands as you let your teeth graze his bottom lip. You crawl into his lap and eventually you end up hovering above him, after pushing him backwards into the blanket.
"Right," you whisper, pulling away for a while. "You were in the middle of practice..." However, Hyeongjun shakes his head briefly, before one of his hands finds its way to the back of your neck.
"I can continue later," he merely mutters, before bringing you in for another kiss.
OH! WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO CUTE?! I mean seriously! Jun Han is one of the cutest members of Xdinary Heroes and this practically confirmed it! He's so sweet and the idea of him doing a little concert for the one he loves makes my heart absolutely soar! Because he totally would! And he would absolutely be shy about it! Seriously, this was so adorable I almost died! Thank you for writing this! I absolutely loved it!
