ETHAN DOLAN X READER (SMUT!)
desc: During a rough patch between Grayson and the reader, Ethan comes on strong and admits his long held feelings for her after having avoided her for months due to the pain of dealing with their relationship.
a/n: THIS STARTED AS FLUFF AND SOMEHOW YA GIRL GOT CARRIED AWAY. Also haven’t posted in soso long and I hope this isn’t too messy!
The silence of the empty room seemed to close the walls around her body, the eerie feeling of absolute lonesomeness both unfamiliar and terrifying. She sat perched on the edge of the grey sofa chair, her hands still trembling from the split she’d had with Grayson only mere hours earlier. It had been ages, now since she’d sent him about a thousand messages, but still her phone lay unmoving against the warm of her opened palm, and a thought occurred to her. Her heart raced as she unlocked her phone, the light blaring against her hardened features as she searched for his name. Why she still kept him in her contacts, she had no clue, it’s not as if they’d uttered a single word in months. Her fingers trembled as she tapped his number, bringing the phone to her cold cheek.
The other end of the line crackled faintly, before the soft and almost inaudible whisper broke through, “(Y/N)?”
Her heart sunk low, his voice so fresh and raw.
“Look, I-I know it’s been a long time,” she pulled her fingers through her hair, “but I just, I really can’t be alone right now.”
A long silence followed her words, until finally he responded, “I’m on my way.”
The connection dropped, and the room resumed its frozen state. Her brain raced with confusion and anticipation. She stood and started trying to throw the room back into a normal state, still wearing her fluttery black dress from earlier in the evening, before disaster had struck. She knew he’d be there in a flash, something years of sitting passenger seat as Ethan slammed his foot down and sent his engine roaring had taught her. Sure enough, she’d hardly had time to cope before a rasp of knuckles hit the front door, Ethan still tapping his fist to the same thrum he always did when he visited. The girl skipped towards the door, heart racing as she extended her fingertips to the shiny brass handle, almost scared of what would await her.
He stood with his feet together on the little porch, snug in his big white hoodie and black beanie, a faint stubble dancing over his jaw.
She just stared at him; he stared back.
“Uh, sorry, um, come in,” she stuttered with a little shake of her head, stepping aside to let the boy in.
He shoved his hands roughly in his pockets with a little smile and kicked his shoes off, staring around her house with awe as he tried grasping every familiar detail of it.
“Look great,” he mumbled under his breath as his big hazel eyes affixed on the room.
“It’s really nothing special,” she shrugged, pursing her lips.
“No, you. You, uh-” Ethan rubbed at his chin and turned to her. “I meant you look great.”
“Oh,” her chest stirred lightly, “thank you. It’s actually pretty uncomfortable but I’ve been wearing it since-”
“Mhm,” his throat rumbled as he stepped over into the kitchen. He said nothing as he clanged around looking for a big blue mug, rummaging through the cupboards until he found her favorite kind of tea. The kettle whirred to life as he rested his back against the marble top counter and indicated at the girl’s bar stool.
“Tell me what’s up,” he sighed.
“Nothing much, it’s been pretty bus-”
“Tell me what’s really up,” he cut her off with a tilt of his head.
Her big eyes widened, head sinking, “you know?”
“He’s my brother and he never shuts up, of course I know,” Ethan’s lips twitched.
She groaned out and propped herself onto the swiveling stool, kicking her legs out in frustration, “I-”
She went still, Ethan’s eyes narrowing with confusion.
“I have no idea what to do,” she realized, shaking her head, eyes fluttering closed in anguish.
“Hey it’ll be okay, right?” he tried lamely. “I mean, I- Gray knows, how special you are, he’s not gonna let some silly fight get in the way of your bond or whatever,” Ethan stumbled, failing to form sympathetic strings of words.
“Wait...” she arched a brow as Ethan poured the hot water into the bashed up mug he’d tried hand crafting her years ago, which, for some reason, she’d kept. “Did he not mention what the fight was about to you?”
“Um,” Ethan pursed his lips, “no.”
She giggled quietly, lips splitting, “and you were so quick to jump to my defense without even knowing!?”
E smiled bashfully, handing her the big mug with a tilt of his head, overjoyed to see that smile on her face, “sue me, I care about you.”
“About that,” she sighed, taking a slow sip of the hot liquid, the searing taste instantly soothing her nerves. “It’s about you.”
“What?” Ethan half coughed half choked, taking a step back.
The girl fidgeted with the edge of her midnight colored dress, her tangles falling over her forehead as she bent into her lap.
“It was just so out of the blue. I mean, he’d been off the whole night, I- I don’t know why. But it’s our four month anniversary and I was nervous too, so I just figured, I don’t know, he was nervous for something?! But we get back here, and he just implodes out of nowhere, and it was terrifying. I mean usually Gray is the absolute sweetest person ever, so I hated seeing that side of him. But I know it wasn’t him though, I could see it in his eyes, yet he just kept pushing me away until I’d break. I begged him to talk to me, but he just stormed out and promised me nothing could happen as long as you-”
Her eyes flickered up to Ethan’s knowing hazel ones, her voice freezing in her throat.
“Were around-” she finished quietly.
Ethan rubbed his slender fingers over his stubble guiltily, “(Y/N)-”
“Where have you been, Eth?” her voice cracked softly through her whisper.
His heart sunk, heavy sigh emanating from his parted lips.
“What Grayson said doesn’t even make sense because you stopped talking to me months ago,” she continued. “No calls, no texts, no visits, nothing. And now you’re here and I’m just, I mean I know I should be mad but I just,” she stumbled. “I see you, a-and suddenly all the anger I’ve bottled up since you abandoned me is gone. I don’t know what I did that hurt you, but I’m so sorry,” she soothed, hopping down and approaching Ethan, who backed into the counter. “And as much as I want to hate your guts right now,” she shook her head, Ethan’s throat closing up, “God, I’m really happy to see you.”
With no warning, she threw her arms around his neck and burrowed into his bronzed collarbone, inhaling his distinct cologne and sighing into him. He’d gone stiff for a second, but soon relaxed under her touch, his breathing pattern coming slowly back to him. He wrapped his muscular arms around her waist, squeezing her body against his rippled chest with a hum of content.
“I missed you too,” he whispered shakily.
She dropped down from her tip toes and pulled back, gaze softening.
“I’ll let it all go,” she promised, her eyes welling with moisture. “But to tell you the truth, I was miserable without you. So, I’ll forget it, every ounce of heartache you caused me, If you just tell me right now, why?”
“I-” he stuttered, “can’t.”
“What?” her brows furrowed, lower lip jutting out with annoyance.
“I can’t,” Ethan said again.
“Why?” she pleaded, her big eyes doe like and innocent as she blinked up at him and made his heart do flips.
“Look, I clearly overstepped by coming here tonight,” he sighed. “I should’ve just stayed away.”
“What are you talking about?” she stepped back, her breath faltering.
“I mean I shouldn’t have come back,” he gulped, running a hand through his dark locks.
“Come back?” her voice lowered dangerously. “You mean-”
“There’s some things I just can’t explain to you, (Y/N)!” he flared. He brought his hand up to cup her face but pulled it away with second thought, like it hurt him to do so. “Please, understand that what I’m doing is to protect you.”
“You sound just like him,” she spat, her tone shifting, a spark igniting in her chest. “He said the same thing.”
“And he was wrong, but I’m not,” Ethan began. “You have no idea how hard its been.”
“Don’t give me that shit!” she said. “You. Left. Me.” she enunciated each word through jagged breaths. “You can’t just show up, a-and then push me away out of nowhere when I need you.”
“Yeah and you only need me now, you only want me here, because he’s not, right?!” Ethan hissed. “Stop trying to make me be the better brother,” his nostrils flared, jaw pulsating as he edged himself against her body with a bitter chuckle, “I am never going to be Grayson.”
She froze, his words cutting like a knife.
“Yeah well I’m sorry for believing in you,” she swallowed.
“THEN STOP!” he yelled dangerously, his eyes flickering over her features.
“You won’t understand now,” he begged, towering over her, “but sometime, someday, you’ll realize that I’m just trying to do the right thing for once.”
“I just,” he sighed, “can’t be selfish with you. Not anymore. Not ever.”
“You piss me off so much, Ethan!” she clenched her jaw with a heavy breath.
“Good, it’‘s easier when you’re mad,” he edged.
“Shut up!” she slammed her fists into his fluffy white hoodie, but barely even brushed him with her blow.
Close on the brink of a meltdown, she shook her head in defeat, a tear hitting her cheek.
“I think you’re right,” she whispered, her eyes filling with tears, “you overstepped a boundary, and you should’ve stayed away. Leave, and keep it that way.”
He nodded solemnly, “good.”
“Good,” he repeated, his body so close to hers that any sense of personal space was diminished.
“And you want this?” she practically fed him the bait for forgiveness, but he shook his head.
“Than you’re no better at lying than him.”
Her last word came a broken sob, but Ethan provided no comfort.
“Leave,” she begged, “it’s all you know how to do anyways.”
Her tears caught on her dried lips, her hair waterfalling over her broken features, but still, nothing.
She pulled away and made way for the stairs, her back to Ethan as she stopped and added quietly.
“You are selfish, E. But only because you act so guilty when I’ve given you nothing to be guilty about.”
And to stand still and let her go was enough to shatter him.
And then she was gone, in a daze as her head spun, feet dragging to her room. Her mind was numb, the events and pain of the night too much for her. She stopped in front of her mirror, eyes bleary, face stained, entire shape worn down. But she didn’t want to cry, not anymore, because that would mean giving in to them, and she was stronger than that, so instead she just felt....numb. And all the while, as she cleaned herself up and breathed through her lips, she could feel the unsettling weight and confusion of Ethan’s words on her heart. The girl hooked her hands into her dress and unzipped it so it hung half open down the front of her body. She hiccuped quietly and pulled her hair up atop her head as the starting engine rumbled to life outside. She drew to the window, watching as Ethan backed up, and then turned away with her eyes closed. As she pulled her dress down her body, she didn’t even stop to think of the car stopping, the door slamming, or Ethan’s footsteps. She slid into a hoodie of E’s he’d abandoned in her room months ago, and let it dangle over her bare legs as she wiped at her bleary eyes. She turned back to the window and picked up the shape of his still parked car, her heart sinking in alarm at once.
“Four months,” came a voice.
She spun around, startled to see Ethan in her doorway, his eyes red from crying, his lower lip trembling. “I closed myself off from you four months ago, the day you became Grayson’s,” he breathed, his brown hair spilling over his paled forehead. “He knew, he knew I was in love with you, but he did it anyways. And god, you were so happy with him it practically devoured me from the inside out. I- I couldn’t think, o-or breathe knowing that that was you in his arms, you on his lips,” Ethan poured on, stepping closer, his face glowing under the warm twinkling lights that hung from her ceiling. “And I couldn’t come near you because it hurt too much and I knew I’d just do something I’d regret, because as much as he hurt me, I couldn’t hurt you. But he saw how carnal I got, and we fought about it constantly, but you never knew. Just like you didn’t know that I got you that dress you wore tonight, the one left at your door.” Ethan smiled weakly. “And it drove him crazy, to know I still fought for you even when you were his, that I still had the power to bring that light to your life. And yeah, that makes me sick, or disgusting, or whatever you want to call it, but I don’t care. I know I pushed you apart, and now, I finally had the chance to let it all go, to leave here knowing you’d go back to my brother hating me, but having your happy ending because of it. I could just turn my back on you forever and you wouldn’t even know I’d done it because I’d love you so damn much. And I was so close. But then I got in that car and I-I just-” he heaved, shaking his head in awe as he absorbed her with those tantalizing eyes.
She froze, hands tucked into her sweatshirt, her eyes shimmering with tears, “Ethan....”
“I can still do that though,” he promised, stepping closer to her, “I can still walk away.”
He gulped down the lump in his throat, stepping so close she was forced away, her back hitting the wall he caged her to. He brought his thumb up to brush the single tear from her cheek, watching as she melted under his touch.
“But you’re right, I am selfish,” his voice lowered, eyes darkening as they flickered over her trembling lips. “At least now I can leave having something to be guilty about.”
His hand cupped her cheek lightly, slender fingers locking her into his his flesh as he bent his mouth into hers and ached as she went still against his full lips. But then she tasted them, tasted him, felt the igniting electricity buzzing from his touch, and turned to ice in his hands. She tilted her face gingerly up, cautious as she engulfed herself in his nicotine, gentle as she explored his mouth. She pulled away from his lips, and his eyes were lusty and shimmering as he blinked down at her and slowly pulled his hand down from her face, the tension so thick you could cut it. They both stared at each other like deer in the headlights, but Ethan remained frozen, brushing his lips over the tip of her nose like it were her choice to make, when he actually knew so little of the extent of control he already had over her.
“Fuck,” she cursed with defeat, leaping into Ethan’s arms, her legs snapping around his waist as she straddled him, Ethan moaning with satisfied shock into her opened lips as they went stumbling. His back slammed against the wall as her hands went sliding through his locks, her tongue entering her mouth as she showed no mercy against his lips. Ethan’s hands went slithering around her thighs as her gripped her ass in his palms, detaching his raw lips to move them to the girl’s exposed neck. She obeyed the command of his lips, forcing her jaw up for him as he sucked a patch of her skin, swirling his tongue rhythmically over her flesh, and growling with contempt when she let his name out through a breathy moan.
“Do you know,” he sighed into her, taking her skin between his teeth, “how long I’ve wanted to make every inch of your body belong to me, and to hear my name sound on your little lips like that?”
“I guess you’ll need to give me reason to say it again,” she purred, enjoying how he grew defensive almost instantaneously.
He sucked his lips away, satisfied with the chain of purple bruises trailing over her neck like a necklace of love bites.
“Really had to leave an impression?” she noted breathily at his work, to which he smirked.
“Now you won’t forget,” he smiled into her lips as they went crashing and tangling in her sheets.
“Forget?” she pondered, kissing him roughly on the lips again, her mouth burning.
“Who you belong to,” his throat rumbled. “Do you know who that is?” he purred, his slender fingers trailing swirls between her opened thighs.
“Show me,” she insisted, yanking his hoodie down to gain access to his lips as he worked at her clothes.
He was already ripping her hoodie from her body, his hands fumbling as he removed her bra with ease, his eyes widening.
“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed as he dipped his mouth over her nipple and attached his parted lips to her right breast. His hand moved up, massaging her gently as he rolled her nipple between his teeth and brought her squirming under him. He sucked off her breast with a faint popping noise, a smile dancing on his lips.
“We shouldn’t-” she breathed as Ethan drew his tongue down to her bellybutton, “be doing this.”
Her back arched against his mouth as he kissed her lightly down to her lacy black underwear, leaving a sloppy trail from his lips, his darkened eyes flickering up from between her legs.
“So then say something if you want me to stop, sweetheart,” he breathed as he opened his mouth against the fabric clothing her heat.
“Anything?” he tried, circling his tongue over the edge of the lace.
“Ethan,” she moaned instinctively, her hands grabbing at chunks of his hair as she forced his face harder into her thighs.
“Mmm,” he smiled into her, his nose rubbing her clit as he devoured her from the outside, her juices soaking through to his parched tongue, “so I thought.”
And then he hooked his fingers down and swiped her underwear off before tossing aside his own clothes. Her mouth salivated at the sight of his size, the knot in her stomach tightening. Ethan cocked his head to the side, an unspoken question on his lips as he observed her.
“Come here, princess,” he lay down on his back and signaled to her.
She climbed carefully up his chest, trailing her lips down his rippled front and making him stir with satisfaction.
“I hope you know,” he sighed as he shifted under her weight and opened his mouth up to her heat. “Gray might be gentle...but me, not quite.”
“Wha-” she began, her words dissolving as her pussy settled atop Ethan’s lips.
His mouth was like magic on her, tongue alternating against her clit and dripping folds as he collected every drop of her moisture on his lips. She grinded lightly against his face, in which he punished her with a low hum that vibrated into her body and made her shiver and still. Then, with no warning, he broke his slow and gentle race. His hands snapped up as he forced her thighs down, locking her to his mouth as his tongue dipped straight into her. She squirmed but couldn’t escape his grip, so her head went tilting back, hair shaking back as she whined Ethan’s name for him. He applied more force, going deeper this time, and then not stopping once as he attacked her with his tongue. She quivered against him, to which he worked faster and harder, nails digging red crescents into her thighs. She rocked her hips against him, rolling herself with each strum of his tongue, and soon she lost pattern, her body stilling as she began to convulse atop him, her body shaking as she bent forward with a high cry, Ethan effortlessly bringing her to a high and taking in all her come.
“Eth,” she said, lifting her leg, but he pinned her back down instantly, and his tongue didn’t stop.
“Ethan,” she pleaded gently, her eyes rolling back as he went, not giving her a moment to recover from her first high to bring about her next one.
“Fuck, baby,” she dug her nails into his shoulders, too sloppy to work with him as she crumpled into his mouth and let him flitter his tongue in every wonderful pattern in and out her until she was releasing for him again, her head rolling back as she twitched in his mouth with a high pitched moan, Ethan never letting her go until he’d caught every last flavor of her. She pulled off his face, a sensitive and tingling mess, which was clear and pleasurable to him.
“Two times?” she breathed shakily as Ethan flashed his teeth and licked his glossy lips of her.
“I hadn’t gotten enough of you the first time,” he cooed, bringing her lips to his own and kissing her passionately as a symbol of his gentle but not so sincere apology. He grazed her earlobe with his teeth, whispering huskily, “sorry my tastes are a little rough, sweetheart.”
“No, It’s good,” she soothed, tilting her jaw into his parted lips and giving him a pause before adding, “different.”
His lips twitched, “really?”
She nodded innocently and blinked into his eyes, “ I want to know what comes next.”
Ethan chuckled, rolling her beneath his body and caging a hand on either side of her face, “don’t we both know that, darling?”
“I mean,” she bit her lower lip bashfully, her cheeks warming, “how this will feel coming from you.”
He smirked, brushing her loose hair behind her ear, “like you said, different.”
And then his length went entering inside of her, and her face scrunched at once as she groaned out with mingled pain and pleasure, her lips parting as she shifted under Ethan’s weight.
“Okay, sweetheart?” he soothed, lacing his fingers through hers as he pinned her to the mattress, his body heavy with the scent of cologne and sweat.
She adjusted with a short gasp, her eyes fluttering open to his concerned hazel ones, and through her faltered breathing came, “bigger.”
His heart raced as he blinked through his eyelashes, his throat rumbling with satisfaction, smile on his lips, “hmm?”
And then he slid himself all the way into her, and her head went back so he freed one of his hands to tilt her chin up to his face as he slowly worked himself in and out of her dripping folds.
“I want you to look at me the whole time, okay baby?”
She nodded to which he smiled, readjusting both his hands to her waist and taking along deep breath.
“FUCK!” she cried at once as Ethan began slamming his hard cock into her with no mercy, working to the pace of her squeals of pleasures and his mingled breathy moans. He extended out before mercilessly dipping all the way in, his pace quickening as he stretched the fragile girl beneath him wide into a trembling mess. Her glowing eyes remained to his blackened orbs as he fucked her, his balls slapping into her ass with each thrust of his hips forward. Her hands flew to his back as she dragged hot red streaks across his skin whilst he pinned her to the mattress with no room to move that wasn’t in his range of control.
“More,” she cried, her eyes watering.
He did as told, and soon she couldn’t speak, couldn't breathe, all that could be heard was the soft choking noise of her empty throat as Ethan’s dick brushed her bundle of nerves before promptly attacking it. His hands snapped up to her fingers, lacing them through his veiny hands as he gave her to power but to take every throbbing inch of him without moving.
“Ethan,” she cried softly, every ounce of willpower focused on keeping her eyes to the bronzed and flawless boy who wrecked her.
“Who, sweetheart?” he purred, the mattress squeaking and bed rocking under his weight as he fucked her g spot, his lips delving into her collarbone.
“ETHAN!” she collapsed, eyes rolling to the back of her head as her walls tightened and he shot his hot spurts of come into her, filling her right to the brim. He caught her hands in his as he gently worked his sloppy movements against her shaking body, his thumb brushing over her wrists as he removed his length. She convulsed beneath him, but he didn’t push it this time. He forced her legs gently apart with a slow sigh, going in to clean up her mess and smiling when she twitched away from him, her body worn from his touch and begging mercy.
“It’s okay,” he cooed, holding her gently as he gently licked up her mess.
She regained her breathing slowly, her body curled into a fetal position as E crawled up beside her and slid her body under his muscular arm. He brought his lips to her forehead and kissed her until her eyes blinked open to his. They were tired and gentle as ever.
“Want to enlighten me on how I’m gonna explain the numerous bruises, raw lips, and the fact that I’ll be walking wobbly tomorrow?” she smiled innocently.
Ethan chuckled and pecked her lips, “and the day after that? Or the one after that? I’ve nowhere near had enough of you, (Y/N).”
“Good,” she mumbled feebly, “because I love you Ethan Dolan. And maybe I was terrified to admit it because of the selfish person it would make me out to be for craving you the way I do, but I don’t want to spend another minute being anyone but all yours. And I love you, every piece of you.”
His eyes crinkled as he brushed his fingers through her hair gently, “I love you and every piece of you...” he hummed.
But she was already gone.
“Mine,” he said into the silence.
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