🥰 little flower 🌼🌵 I will evoke you 💯

Jess/Cal (she/her) // 26 // Canes/Bruins/Kraken/etc All ur baby goly r belong to me

[starshine-cal]

My Fuckign. Team won the Stanley Cup bröther

[creasecrashing]

Our next captain will be Linus Ullmark out of his goalie pads wearing a fake moustache over his real one

[creasecrashing]

yes hello it is me..... Mr Captain Forward

[keelpay]

Will in Vancouver with Mack on July 21st, 2026

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

[nat-20s]

You can replace [ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY] with [SCROLLING] but watch out. This sucks bad 👍

[nat-20s]

Some things about this post since getting quite a few notes:

1. If you see this post, highly recommend taking it as an opportunity to set a timer for 15 minutes and switch over to ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY. if after those 15 minutes, you want to go back to scrolling, that's okay!

2. Huge shout out to this popping up in my notifs often, bc I do go back to activity.

3. I think there are times where scrolling is fine. Right now, for example, I'm being connected to a machine for two hours to donate plasma and platelets. Yes this is a brag but it is also a time where scrolling is one of the few things I can do. (Though I will probably also read or watch something on phone lol)

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

hmmm, this seems to be some kind of curse breaking spell… be free ye reader

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[smokingchagga]

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

[sailermoon]

what’s crazy about being in your late 20s is that you’ve only been an adult for a decade and people are really out here believing your life is over

[rocketbirdie]

guys. Guys please you're allowed to say big boy words. please we cannot keep just rolling with the sanitization of every space on the internet ok. you're allowed to say suicide. you're allowed to say porn. they're not bad words, they're just words.

also by ''censoring'' the words with silly spellings you're actually making it much harder for people to filter out. please just say Sex you don't have to call it woohoo like it's the fucking sims. i promise the Word Police aren't going to arrest you

[zeepop]

[some-pers0n]

How it feels being a little hater with your friends in private spaces and never actually going out of your way to harass or bully anyone

[crybabyangelgirl]

its so hard to take fatphobes seriously when you realize they're living in a fullfledged delusion. Like you could look at a thin person and i buying our groceries one after the other and see them buying nothing but carbs and snacks and soda and frozen processed foods and me buying nothing but locally sourced meats and whole vegetables and water and maintain that i must live a less healthy lifestyle bc of my weight. You can watch me and a thin person walk up the same hill and see them losing their breath and needing to take breaks and see me make it to the top without breaking a sweat and maintain that i must live a less healthy lifestyle bc of my weight. You can watch a thin person eat an entire bucket of fried chicken in one sitting and have nothing to say and then see a fat person eat nothing but salads for a week and tell them "hey you know salad isn't as healthy as you think it is i bet that dressing is full of fats and croutons are just carbs i bet that salad is mostly croutons and disgusting fatty dressing this is why you aren't losing weight". You have to completely divorce yourself from reality to maintain your worldview and its pathetic. 99% of the thin people i know dont go to a gym regularly and dont worry about eating healthily at all. Im simply not going to live in your fantasy world where thin people are allowed to be thin because of their genetics but fat people can never ever be fat because of their genetics and every choice they make is a moral failing.

[crybabyangelgirl]

No matter how little notes something i post about fat liberation gets some volatile fatphobe always manages to find it and say the stupidest least science informed bullshit ive ever heard in my life, its a true show of dedication from them even i don't think about fat people this much

[teex]

71 days til flyers hockey returns !!

[cynids]

nhl offseason in a nutshell so far

bottom ten team: we have just paid a player that no one has ever heard of TWENTY MILLION DOLLARS

jason robertson: no i dont want to be paid 15 million dollars by YOU. who want me tho? no fr who want me?

ducks: we HATE our group

canes: we LOVE our group

half the league: captains? anyone want to be the new captain? no?

kings: i am going to pay a random 40-year-old 8 million dollars a year. yes this is getting us a cup

kraken: well fuck me i guess. worth a shot

connor bedard: i am going to KILL MYSELF

mike grier: well they dont call me big money mike for no reason. you get 8 mil and you get 8 mil and everyone gets 8 mil except for the guys who were alr on the team!

panthers + also gleb for some reason: i am going to KILL EVERYONE ELSE

habs: oui oui puppies! and kittens! and rainbows! and every one of them gets a choco chunk cookie (reasonable contract and term).

danny briere to his ex situationship: "hey... time to run it back... no fr tho... u still want me?" *crickets* "ok watch me money spread. you want me now?"

everyones goalies for some reason: "bye"

elliotte FUCKING friedman: your favorite fourth liner just got sent to HELL for future considerations

dylan larkin: hey so about that trade

[opencasketbasketfries]

@cynids your tagsssss I can’t leave them out 💀

[whoscallingwhoafraud]

[flagellant]

So long gayboy Im boutta get it! [Walks down the stairs of the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant]

[flagellant]

[comes back up covered in lipstick kisses] all of my cells are the wrong one now

[aroace-nut-case]

@funnier-when-objectum

[beemovieerotica]

please vote for tylenol to have her face on a beer can $1 for 1 vote and the donation goes to the baltimore animal rescue and care shelter

[jaesawalth]