wizard-council-bureaucrat

It's all fun and games until someone baja blasts a hole in the universe

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

I don NOT trust the big witch who makes the new year in her big witch caldron, but, I will try and stay optimistic

[cipheramnesia]

Why is she adding so much powder from the black box with a skull on it and little skulls form in the steam every time she adds more in?

That's good, right?

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

In hindsight, it was not good

[wizard-council-museum-clerk]

Hopefully this year she adds some liquid from the glittery bottle with the sparkles on it.

Honestly, I'd even just take a few dashes from the salt shaker with normal salt in it.

[globalwitchoversightassembly]

Can you guys next time make the suggestions before we go grocery shopping?

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

sorry Big Witch 😔

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

you need to find out what you are a goblin for, it will give your life purpose

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

…now that I’ve turned you into a goblin

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

you need to find out what you are a goblin for, it will give your life purpose

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Trying to curse someone covertly? Try the bend and snap! It works every time!

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

If you can’t beat the evil wizard try a convoluted and ethically dubious enemies to lovers tragedy plot where despite actually falling in love with them and them trying to be a better person you still gonna hafta kill em

[decrepify-deactivated20250528]

Yup returning to necromancy, I’m so back. And you’re so back, and you’re so back, and you’re so back, and you’re

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Yeah, we killed them (⬆️) for this

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

none of you can handle me when I go huge-mega-death-explosions-laser-curse… and it’s because you aren’t getting enough fiber in your diet

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Brave Adventurer I must now send you on your most difficult quest yet, I task thee- Go To Bed.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Fireball is currently and temporarily BANNED

until further notice (world less on fire)

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Park rangers are actually a kind of wizard that keeps The Woods and The Mountains from killing you.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

They are charting safe paths for you through the wilds, but if you wander off the safe path and get swallowed by nature they can’t help you. Mother Nature wants to eat you so so sooo bad

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Off of the path perfec t place to put adventurer on to see! forest floor very soft and comfort hiker sleep soundly put hiker in dense remote forest. put photographer in mountain mouth. no problems ever in mountain mouth because good shape and support for photographer camera weak of big camera lens. a off limits beach yes place for tourist, put tourist on off limits beach can trust ocean for giveing good love to tourist. friend nature

[yuri-puppies]

while not a big blog myself i have enough big mutuals and mutuals in law that every once in a while i get to experience the thrill of reblogging an underrated small post and watching it get picked up and launched into the stratosphere

[yuri-puppies]

like im not the wizard that casts the curse of 10k notes but i know a guy who knows a guy who knows a wizard ykwim

[were--ralph]

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

[were--ralph]

we're going to try again witha little but minimal casting

IT will happen in August of 2026. like to charge and reblog to cast but cast sparingly

[were--ralph]

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

[were--ralph]

CAST NOW

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Park rangers are actually a kind of wizard that keeps The Woods and The Mountains from killing you.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

They are charting safe paths for you through the wilds, but if you wander off the safe path and get swallowed by nature they can’t help you. Mother Nature wants to eat you so so sooo bad

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Park rangers are actually a kind of wizard that keeps The Woods and The Mountains from killing you.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Are you guys mistreating the Bedtime Wizard? I'm starting to have serious concerns about his wellbeing. If I find out you're mistreating him I'm calling WR (Wizard's Resources).

No no, it's not me. It's all the people who are fighting off sleep! The Bedtime Wizard was just trying to tuck someone in the other night and got two black eyes for it! Poor BedWiz, poor poor BedWiz

[the-bedtime-wizard]

I would like to request that people stop fighting me when I tuck them in. They request my presence and then I get injured for my efforts.

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

I keep telling you, you should just be killing those types Beddy my friend! Eternal Sleep is technically a type of sleep! …if you smudge the paperwork a bit

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

what girls really want is a big staff and billowing robes

What girls really want is to Get Off My ROOF! Shoo! Scat! Get off of there you maniacs and leave my poor weathervane alone!!

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Are you guys mistreating the Bedtime Wizard? I'm starting to have serious concerns about his wellbeing. If I find out you're mistreating him I'm calling WR (Wizard's Resources).

No no, it's not me. It's all the people who are fighting off sleep! The Bedtime Wizard was just trying to tuck someone in the other night and got two black eyes for it! Poor BedWiz, poor poor BedWiz