RUSSELL

attempting recovery ♡

[starvingsprout]

was shinsousprout and shinsou-sprout, please rb to help me find my moots !!

[starvingsprout]

havent been active here since ive been so much better and thought id recovered... so why do i feel so fat and tempted to relapse

[starvingsprout]

just got my period for the first time in several months. i'm not even dysphoric like i thought it'd be, i'm just so glad it's a sign my body is healing <3

[avosoph]

self care sounds so basic but please don’t underestimate how difficult it is just to clean your teeth and wash your face when all you want to do is die

[starvingsprout]

anyone know how to fix your metabolism? ig its just broken after so long of low eating but now that im trying to eat more im only gaining, at an amount of cals a normal person never would. help 😭😭

[starvingsprout]

i dont think im made for recovery. i really was trying this time but my body and face just feel like balloons, inflated with so much fat. im going to try stick to high res + working out tho, and choosing healthy things whenever possible. if this doesnt work, i dont know what im going to do

[spooksier]

have a gender moment about being divine and human

[spooksier]

hey so it’s been a year since i posted this and i still get messages and tags about how this comic helped them in their own journeys, i took a full step out of my comfort zone to post this (this was originally an assignment for a graphic novels class lol) but im so glad i did. congrats on the gender everybody 

xx tyler

[starvingsprout]

who knew school would be a million times easier when you actually give your brain nutrients to work with

[starvingsprout]

i truly want to at least semi-recover, and get fit this time, but i can't stand the thought of getting my period back

im sick of my ed effecting all areas of my life, barely having the energy to live. but whats the alternative?

[m0nster-and-skeleton-gloves]

I'm over-caffeinated and under-nourished and I feel like I'm about to vibrate out of this dimension

[gncfag-moved]

i know its been said b4 but growing up suicidal and then reaching an age you never planned to live to is extremely stressful and terrifying, and we deserve more credit for not killing ourselves and THEN having to make up for the time we spent not caring if we lived or died and not doing work to improve our lives.

[gncfag-moved]

i feel behind in life because i spent the last 7 ish years not giving a shit about my future because i assumed id be dead before id have to deal with that, and now i have to start making decisions that many people started considering years ago.

[gncfag-moved]

i just feel like. suicidal people dont get credit for firstly, how stressful life is while suicidal, how difficult it is just to do simple tasks, and secondly, how hard it is to recover from years spent not caring once a person is no longer actively suicidal or no longer having suicidal ideations.

[starvingsprout]

my dysphoria hasnt been as bad lately but it just crash piled on me. i cant stand the sight of my reflection. i guess its obvious where my ed came from. god what id give to just look like any other guy, instead of fat in all the wrong places. gonna try sleep this headspace off, dont know what else i can do to fix this.

[starvingsprout]

i really gotta stop eating, ill never be skinny again at this rate

[starvingsprout]

i was looking forward to hot weather so i wouldn't always be cold and already hate it

[starvingsprout]

the whole tl seems to be struggling tonight, sending the best :(( <3

[starvingsprout]

one of my friends said something about calories earlier and ive only just realised how bad it affected me. no wonder ive been feeling so sick, physically and mentally, and not wanting to eat at all.

like, she made several off hand remarks like 'i only ate one meal yesterday and wasnt even hungry' and when i suggested getting something to eat with our drinks she said about watching calories.

she doesnt know about my ed but like, who brings up stuff like in normal everyday conversation?? what do you gain, a sense of superiority? you never know what people are going through, case in point

im pretty sure she doesnt have an ed but god, no healthy person says stuff like that yeah? i dont fucking know man, im just so triggered, hours later

[arachncphcbia-deactivated202202]

If someone is wearing makeup in the pool, don’t deliberately splash them. If someone has done their hair nicely, don’t mess it up. If someone in a t-shirt has scars on their arms, don’t ask them about it. If someone doesn’t want to get in the water, don’t push them. If someone still wants to wear jeans, don’t laugh at them for it. If someone has sweat patches, don’t point them out. If someone’s chest is obviously prominent, don’t stare. If you can see someone’s underwear/ binder, don’t comment on it. If someone is blatantly covering something up, don’t try to reveal it.

Not everyone can feel totally comfortable with the fact it’s Summer, don’t make them feel worse.