HI hi hi!!! I’m still trying to figure out the app right now and customize everything! BUT if you’re seeing this I’m obsessed over challengers and all sorts other fandoms games, anime’s and shows and lots of different music! so follow if you want! Or don’t. Doesn’t matter to me🌚🌝 (Also! I go as Starzz if you couldn’t tell already)
happy 2-year anniversary of brat AND my 2-year anniversary of watching challengers in theaters… honestly the reason why i am the way i am and why i made my tumblr acc. the world works in mysterious ways ways ig
"only 90s kids remember-" wrong, if you're poor and/or rural enough, old tech and fashion doesn't just disappear when it stops being trendy. We had dial-up until 2012
˖ ࣪𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ a/n these are not at all organized or proofread but please enjoy regardless, not all of these are strictly modern but enough were i titled it as such. gender neutral reader !
started drinking coffee way too young because he used to think it was cool, and now has a crippling caffeine addiction.
⤷ he insists on going to local coffee shops even though he really only gets black coffee.
⤷ always gets either an everything bagel or a salt and pepper bagels.
very pretentious, and slightly gatekeep-y about his interests, music, dnd, and movies in particular.
crashed out for like a week when disney bought marvel.
has never played fortnite because he believes something awaits him in the divine for resisting.
definitely either works at a movie theater or one of those trading card and video game stores in the mall.
is the dude asking “did you know tame impala is just one guy?”
has an extensive physical media collection and is very serious about it, if you have a suitcase player be prepared for a lecture.
very critical of movie and tv adaptations of comics, x-men in particular.
big fan of the ren faire and he dresses up weather you do or not.
big david lynch & wes anderson fan, LOVED twin peaks when he first saw it and was convinced it made him niche.
⤷ takes letterboxd way too seriously.
like in the show he’s had the same backpack since kindergarten, but it’s a navy blue jansport.
⤷ you two have matching C-3P0 and R2-D2 lego keychains
⤷ he has so many random pins on his bag, in middle school he used to get a small rush from stealing them from hot topic
got into the hardcore scene through eddie and is randomly at local shows like at least once a week.
has wired headphones, airpods, and over the ear headphones, and wears them so much you’re concerned for his hearing.
literally carries his nintendo switch everywhere with him.
⤷ it was supposed to be a family switch but no one else plays it but him, and holly who has an animal crossing island she does not play about.
really into resident evil, legend of zelda, and metroid.
lowkey has a black thumb, this guy CANNOT keep a plant alive to save his life.
still a massive star wars nerd, has all the lego sets and is very annoying to build them with, but he’s nice to you at least.
⤷ was gifted the lego millennium falcon a couple years ago, and when dustin thought he lost a piece mike crashed out.
into cosplay but won’t admit it for some reason?
⤷ you guys have been anakin and padme, zelda and link, for the past couple halloweens. he and the party also have very detailed costumes for the ren faire.
he has a blue lava lamp he loves, with lots of band stickers on it.
instead of a calculator watch he gets the new apple watch every time one comes out.
his room is covered in posters, he goes out of his way to find vintage ones, and half the time he doesn’t even frame them.
⤷ this being said he found one a vintage “the empire strikes back” poster and that is framed, it is his prized possession.
during quarantine he did the minecraft window trend and he has them to this day.
lowkey uses 2 in 1 shampoo/ conditioner i’m sorry.
⤷ please convince him to get a curly hair routine, please.
only started wearing cologne after he asked lucas for advice when he first realized he had a crush on you.
⤷ smells like bergamont and cedarwood bc he saw that on a label of a candle in your room.
a very extensive funko pop collection.
still very into old movies, like the aforementioned star wars, but also ghostbusters back to the future, eraserhead, the labyrinth, back to the future, akira, top gun etc.
he’s so unathletic. used to fake sick to get out of the mile in p.e.
bisexual & autistic but vaguely in denial about both.
⤷ very bad social awareness. genuinely you will have to apologize on his behalf sometimes because he mad a face. his defense is always “but i didn’t say anything!”
⤷ severely hyperfixates, in season 1 he played dnd for 10 hours straight, imagine what he could do with the internet.
⤷ has an extensive dice collection, they are all color coded.
has such awful posture it’s genuinely concerning.
he’s upper middle class but still wears his converse beat to literal hell.
also has the dirtiest pair of docs you’ve ever seen.
acts embarrassed or aloof about matching things but secretly loves it.
⤷ he feels it’s a tangible reminder of your tether to eachother.
he is so bad at expressing his emotions verbally, so he always prefers to resolve arguments over text.
⤷ the first time he said i love you was also over text.
⤷ very thorough when explaining his side of things or perspective, frequently used analogies and repeats points of emphasis when explaining himself
⤷ has a tendency to be really defensive at first so he likes to pause and gather his thoughts before he responds
⤷ even though he’s super defensive he actually blames himself for everything.
he knows he’s bad with words so he really tries to show you he loves you in other ways, like remembering things about you and noticing if things are off, or if you change something.
⤷ this being said he’s still surprised if you happen to notice anything is off with him, even though, frankly it’s usually very obvious since he doesn’t have the best control over his facial expressions.
one of those smart people that doesn’t get that not everyone understands everything he does.
⤷ but if you ask him to explain something to you he’s actually really good at it! especially chemistry and math.
complains so much. about everything.
has an extensive collection of vintage sweaters and graphic t shirts.
always wears baggy clothes because he doesn’t like to feel the texture of clothes on his skin.
swears up and down reaction pics are corny but always laughs when they’re sent in the party gc.
literally the erm. actually 🤓☝️ guy.
has a particular fondness for uncrustables
he’s clingy but really shy about it.
⤷ really likes when you lay and just put your whole weight on top of him.
lowkey has a savior complex so he loves to do things for you, he just likes to feel needed!! please ask him for things!!!
had a very long and dedicated adventure time phase.
⤷ he was fin the human for like 3 halloweens in a row when he was a kid.
buys everything that reminds him of you but is so awkward about giving it to you as if you aren’t literally his partner.
he is so. easy. to ragebait. but he’s also really good at ragebaiting everyone else.
HATES bright overhead lights.
has so. many. tiktok reposts. so many.
he still actively uses discord.
he has the ikea monkey stuffed animal.
such a yapper, always wanting to infodump.
got into nascar through his dad when he was young to try and bond, and as he got older and started to resent him he switched to f1.
always swears he liked things before they were cool
active radiohead listener
so good at planning dates because he HATES when plans change, especially last minute, but he’s also like always late.
so dense. like has no idea you like him back until max just gets annoyed enough to out you.
sometimes mimics eddie since he perceives him as cool, confident and well liked among people he thinks are cool.
has medication for anxiety but always forgets to take it.
still incredibly awkward and dorky but that’s just part of his charm.
big fan of thrifting, flea markets and farmers markets.
once you were painting holly’s nails and he felt left out so he had you paint his black, and now he regularly has black nail polish on.
he argues with teachers a lot and gets annoyed when you have to respect people just because they’re figures of authority
has surprisingly neat handwriting
such a narc about his interests, like i cannot stress this enough.
honestly very insecure after being bullied for his appearance all of his childhood, and tiktok did NOT help. he genuinely has a hard time fathoming he’s attractive to you.
still bites his nails when he’s anxious, nervous, or even just thinking really hard.
he’s decent at coding and has python installed on his laptop.
still very into counterculture and alternative culture i’m not falling for the finale/ epilogue propaganda.
still ran the A/V club in middle school, and in highschool joined Science and Quiz bowl.
says he doesn’t believe in ghosts but is also genuinely terrified of them.
even though he talks a lot it takes a while for him to actually open up, and when he does he acts like he’s really casual and not a big deal as if he didn’t just drop the most insane lore on you.
⤷ when he told you about the incident with the quarry he glossed over it while explaining he had a fear of heights and you literally had to ask him to double back because, of course, that’s insane mike.
does not like to cry in front of people he finds it literally humiliating.
⤷ the first time he cried in front of you was during a fight because he couldn’t get his words right and he was frustrated at himself and worried you were angry with him and once he realized he was crying he literally turned around and tried to hide his face.
⤷ mike hates hates HATESSSS when one of his close friends are mad at him, everyone else he doesn’t really care but if it’s you, lucas, will, jane, or dustin it genuinely makes him sick until he’s forgiven.
has an industrial piercing that’s shaped like a sword 🤞
2 year anniversary of challengers is rapidly approaching and i petition for it to be put back in the theaters again so we can all experience our favorite tennis throuple. yes? okay great
Two guys for every girl. Once you boys get started you’ll be at it for hours. Come on boys, I know you’re not damn cowards.
pairing: art donaldson x reader x patrick zweig
summary: vying for one of the bridesmaids at their best friend's wedding gets a little out of hand, but they're tennis players. they aren't above some friendly competition.
warnings: smut, threesome, a trip to paris, throat fucking, drunk sex, tbh i'm lazy just generally 18+
Acting as bridesmaid for a girl you grew out of in college wasn’t really how you planned to spend your summer. Attending dress fittings, rehearsal dinners, bachelorette parties… but hey, free booze is free booze. And Megan’s fiancé Adam (soon-to-be husband) splashed out to pay for all the matching dresses. You reassure yourself you would have felt bad turning her down when she asked you to be a part of her bridal party.
Sure, you hadn’t talked as much over the last few years… but you were inseparable, once upon a time. She clearly hasn’t changed, considering the several breakdowns about table placements and flower arrangements you’ve witnessed over the last few weeks. And you doubt you’ll be best friends after this, but it’s nice to rekindle with someone who was a major part of your life, even if it’s not permanent.
The ceremony itself is beautiful. A beautiful stone chapel, austere lines evoking the early Christian churches of Rome; warm lights bathing the princess gown-sporting bride in an amber glow, stained glass windows glinting behind the wedding party as they read out their “I do’s.” The only modern element of the ridiculously elaborate wedding (yeah, Adam has to be fucking loaded) is the absence of any organ to reflect Megan’s aversion of them. But really, the harp just makes them seem that much more pretentious.
It’s the type of wedding children dream of. But there’s two people who clearly couldn’t give two shits about the white roses or the music being played as your friend walks down the aisle: the groomsmen. One blonde and one brunette, the latter of which is clearly bored of this entire thing, tuning out what the priest has to say and letting his eyes wander.
“Patrick, pay attention,” Art hisses under his breath from where he’s standing behind Patrick, and in clear view of his friend’s lack of interest in the upcoming vows. Considering the congregation makes up of several hundred people (who are definitely just here for the reception and Instagram stories), it’s embarrassing for him to be associated with a disinterested fool.
“Oh, I’m paying attention,” Patrick mutters back, with a low whistle that makes Art wince. “Just not to Adam and his gold-digging bride.”
Despite initially feeling the need to jump to their friend’s defence and insist he was perfectly capable of finding a wife—Megan was lovely, as far as Art was concerned—that train of thought vanishes as soon as he follows Patrick’s gaze to the opposite side of the altar. Standing behind the bride and her maid of honour, one of the most beautiful women he’s ever had the privilege of laying eyes upon… you.
He’s not sure how you manage to pull off the bridesmaid dress that the rest of the poor ladies seem to be drowning in, but god, you look gorgeous. A vision in pastel pink, even with that hideously large flower embellishment clinging to your left shoulder. Maybe Patrick had been right about Megan being a bitch for the last two years; nobody who loves their friends willingly puts you in something like that. And yet, against all odds, he’s ready to drop to his knees and worship you right here on the chancel. A true angel, illuminated by the mural of Mother Mary shining through the window. How anyone is paying attention to the bride when you’re standing right there clutching your bouquet of flowers is beyond him.
Patrick’s thoughts are far less pure, of course. Daydreaming about the sound your dress would make when he tears a slit up the back to see what colour your panties are. Fisting his hand in your hair and pulling those ringlets out of your pretty little flower pins, because why would you need those to hold it up when he has a perfectly good hand right here? Bent over the altar, crying out his name like he was your god, and not the Christian deity Father John was currently droning on about watching over Megan and Adam’s nuptials.
Both of them are half-hard in their slacks by the time they hear the priest rejoice, "You may now kiss the bride." Neither of them mention the way they adjust themselves in sync while stepping down to congratulate their friends and take wedding photographs.
Art gets to stand beside you in the pictures. He tries to make small talk about the happy couple, but his throat feels like it's closing up and he already knows he's going to look flushed in the picture album by the end of this. He swears he almost passes out from embarrassment when you regard him with a pitiful look as he stammers over his words trying to tell you he thinks your hair looks lovely.
If the looks Patrick keeps sending his way are any indication, he's royally screwed this up. And that little smirk he flashes as you rush off to gush at the viewfinder suggests he is absolutely going to pay for that fumble later.
He does.
—
"Dibs," Patrick announces, nursing a champagne flute and eyeing you from the opposite side of the reception venue.
Another intricately decorated hall with a local, well-known DJ Adam has connections with. Neither of them would care about the music if it weren't for the fact you looked so fucking good swaying your hips and grinding against another woman to Don't Cha by The Pussycat Dolls. They don't have girlfriends, but yeah, if they did... they'd wish she was hot like you.
"I talked to her first," comes Art's instant protest. He's already downed three glasses by now to quell his nerves, but it's only serving to make him more antsy. At least he probably won't remember any of this come morning.
"Yeah, and look where that got you," he snorts in return, mimicking the pity grimace you had given when Art restarted his sentence for the fifth time. That deflates Art's sails somewhat, and he mutters something about his friend being a dick under his breath.
"Fine. Go talk to her, then. I'll just sit here all by myself and wallow in my own self pity at a celebration of love. Knowing I am forever doomed to be alone."
Patrick shoots him a flat look for that, and Art visibly deflates. Yeah, that was a little dramatic, but he's tipsy and moping about how socially inept he is when it comes to pretty women at weddings. Give him a break.
"Nah, she'll talk to me first. We've been making eyes at each other for thirty minutes. I don't have to do anything."
"So... you aren't going to go talk to her?"
Given Art perks up a little at that, Patrick should probably be a little more sceptical. But he just shakes his head, sipping from his champagne and watching you laugh and excuse yourself from twirling around the floor with that other bridesmaid.
"Cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool…” Art hums in reply. Patrick doesn't even get the chance to reply before he's shooting off across the venue to catch you by the refreshments table.
Oh, that's how he's playing this. But Patrick said he wasn't going to talk to you, so it's his fault, really. That's how Art justifies it to himself as he dodges and weaves through dancing couples, tripping over his feet a few times in a bid to get to you.
"Does dibs mean fucking nothing to you?" Patrick hisses as he catches up to Art, just as the pair reach you.
"Hey," Art slurs, a lopsided smile on his face as he pointedly ignores his friend's complaint. "You look... really beautiful. I know I told you that earlier, but you're like... an angel."
Smooth, Donaldson. That's Patrick's queue to swoop in and save him from embarrassment, while hopefully pulling you in the process. He's not above knocking his friend down a few pegs if he really has to, though.
"We've never seen you before," Patrick says, giving you a quick once over that's far more appraising than it ought to be. It's hard not to blush and match the pretty pink alcohol-induced flush on Art's cheeks. "Friends with Megan long?"
"Uh... yeah," you reply, a little sheepish, plucking a h'ordeuvre from the table as you glance between the pair of them. Art isn't sure if you're wary or just amused. "We go way back."
"Really?" Art says, blinking. "Adam's never mentioned you before. Which is weird because he never shuts his—"
"So she's been keeping you a secret from us, then?" Patrick cuts in. God, his best friend gets so mouthy when he's tipsy. He's more of a lightweight than his fucking grandma. At least Nana can tolerate a few eggnogs without running her mouth.
"We just have conflicting schedules," you smile. "Not teenagers anymore, you know?"
You don't mention the fact you've hardly had contact with Megan since her twentieth birthday, where she deemed your gift lacklustre and cut you out of her social circle over the following weeks. Maybe that attitude is why she had been so desperate to have you as a bridesmaid in the first place—nobody else would stick around to deal with bridezilla.
"What about you and Adam?" You add a moment later, when both men giving little hums of acknowledgement. You pretend not to notice the way Art downs the last of his champagne as liquid courage before he gives his answer.
"Well, Adam's been our—"
"My friend since I was a kid," Patrick interjects again. Art sends him a look of inebriated betrayal, but the brunette is too busy eyeing up your cleavage as he talks to take much notice of it. "Our parents work together. Art's a groomsman because he's an extension of me. Fire and Ice, right, bud?"
A little nudge to Art's side, who looks thoroughly dejected at the depiction of his relationship with Adam. And the fact he's just come off as Patrick's little sidekick. So fucking unfair.
"... Right," he mutters.
"Fire and Ice? What's that?" You offer, in the hopes it'll brighten his spirits. It seems to work.
"We're tennis players. That's our nickname. A little childish, but we've been called that since we were kids."
"So you've known each other a long time?"
"Since we were twelve. Bunkmates at tennis camp," Patrick chips in helpfully, crooked grin permanently plastered on his face as he eyes you intently.
Well, they certainly have the build for it. Not that their suits leave much on display, but you can still see the way Art's muscles strain a little against the sleeves—his suit clearly isn't as tailored as Patrick's—and the way Patrick's ditched his bowtie to unbutton a few buttons of his shirt to give you a peek of his chest hair. And if the way he keeps reaching for h'ordeuvres to give him a peek of your ass every time he leans around you is any indication, that view is definitely intentional.
"So... which one's Fire, and which one's Ice?" You ask, glancing between the pair with a tilted head. Art seems eager to reply with a genuine reply, because he's just tipsy enough to actually be comfortable with you now, but Patrick speaks up before he can open his mouth.
"Why don't you find out?"
And, despite your better judgement, you intend to take him up on that. Spending the next hour at the reception taking candid photos and alternating between dancing with the pair of them; two gorgeous men on your arm, each equally as eager for your attention as the other. Suddenly, the last few months of Megan's temper tantrums feel worth it.
Not to mention you never expected Art to be able to breakdance. Five champagnes in and he's tearing up that floor, a far cry from the man who blushed crimson when the photographer asked him to place his hand on the small of your back after the ceremony.
—
When you all get a little too tipsy, they offer to walk you back to your hotel. You're all staying in the same one, anyways. It's no hassle. No point in sticking 'round here. Party would be boring without you. You can't remember which one of them told you that, but it was flattering nonetheless. Adam placed all of the bridesmaid's on the same floor, insisting it was the least he could do, but Patrick... well, apparently he has a presidential suite, so how could you possibly deny him when he offers to show you? That's the only reason you're going up to their room. Couldn't be anything else.
You trail in after them, heels hanging from your hand as you take in the sight. You're pretty sure this place is bigger than your entire apartment. Hell, the complimentary wine and gift basket on the table probably cost more than one month's rent for you.
"You look like a kid in a candy store," Patrick remarks, lips quirked up into a little smirk as he watches you ogle the sight. Both of them shrug off their jackets and abandon them on two armchairs, leaving you another sight to ogle.
"This place is... nice," you manage, eyes trained on the way Art is removing his cufflinks and rolling his shirt up to his elbows, muttering something about it being way too hot in here before collapsing into one of the arm chairs.
You almost make a remark about how it'd be considerably more tolerable if he just took the shirt off entirely, but Patrick beats you to that idea. Peeling off his own shirt and grinning to himself like a fucking idiot when he catches a glimpse of you admiring the way the muscles in his back flex as he moves. He even gives an exaggerated stretch and a groan to really seal the deal.
You have to take a seat and squeeze your thighs together after that.
"Nice is an understatement, babe," he replies. Babe? He's ballsy. Art is just drunk enough not to mask the exaggerated roll of his eyes he gives at Patrick's choice of words.
The three of you pop open that expensive bottle of wine and pass it around for another thirty minutes (with Patrick gradually giving Art less and less time to hog the bottle the drunker he gets), chatting about Adam and his stupid wife Megan and their stupid wedding. About tennis, and your own career, and who you think is going to win the Olympics this year or whether there are really aliens in the ocean. The kind of stupid shit drunk people discuss just because the conversation is as seemingly bottomless as the wine bottle you're drinking. You somehow manage to persevere throughout it all without staring at Patrick's chest too much.
"Well, I should probably go," you say, standing up (just a little wobbly on your feet) and offering a grateful smile to the pair of them. "Definitely going to be nursing a hangover in the morning."
"Wait—" They both protest in sync, sitting up.
You tilt your head at them, questioning.
"Aren't you going to sleep with one of us?"
Well, that's tactful, Zweig. Art reaches over to smack him up the back of the head, sending you a wordless apology in the form of a wide-eyed look, like a dog that's about to be scolded. But you take it in your stride, laughing as you pick up your heels.
"I don't want to pick between you. Seems mean," you reply. And you don't think you even could choose.
"You don't have to pick between either of us," Art says hastily. Even Patrick seems to be surprised by that. They've joked about sharing girls for years, ever since the Kat Zimmerman incident, but he never thought Art would be the one to actually suggest it. He averts his eyes when Patrick is searching for a towel after the shower, for Christ's sake.
But Patrick recovers quickly.
"Yeah," he chips in. "Don't you wanna find out which one of us is which?"
That gives you pause. Right. Fire and Ice. And judging by the victorious look they share at your silence, all of you are aware of the decision you've subconsciously made.
Your clothes don't take long to disappear. A tangle of limbs backing up into the master bedroom (Patrick's), hair pins discarded in a bid to yank your head back and mouth along the expanse of your neck, both men in just boxers before long. Touching each other in ways that are far from platonic but they'll both blame on alcohol and wanting to get the three of you undressed as quickly as possible.
"This is really ugly. I'm sorry," Art tells you candidly, as you straddle him on the bed. His fingers are tracing the large pink rose pinned to the shoulder of your dress, and you bark out a surprised laugh. The pair of you are giggling like idiots between kisses, insulting Megan's taste in bridalwear before there's a loud tearing sound, and suddenly you can feel the humid air hitting the back of your thighs.
That's Patrick. Doing the things he's fantasised about since he first saw you at the altar and ripping up the back of your dress to reveal your underwear. God, they're even better than he expected.
"Patrick, what the fuck—" Art starts, but his friend makes a kissing sound through his teeth.
"What? She said Adam paid for it. It's fine," Patrick mutters. "Besides, it was so fucking worth it. You should see the view back here, man."
His fingers trail over the dampness of your panties, the lacy white just as pure as Megan's wedding dress. If he wasn't already hard in his boxers (he has been since you entered their hotel room), he certainly is now. Pushing the fabric of your dress further out of the way and leaning in to lick a stripe over your panties, a low groan slipping past his lips at how soaked they are just from kissing. You would be embarrassed but... double the men, double the wetness, right?
Your hips jerk involuntarily at the sensation, a pair of matching moans escaping you and Art as it grinds you down against his clothed erection.
"I don't think Megan would be very happy you wore white on her wedding day," Patrick says, smiling against your clothed cunt as you push back against him.
"Fuck Megan," you reply breathlessly.
"No, fuck you," he shoots back. And he very well intends to. Both of them do, actually, given the way Art is whining and arching his back off the mattress in an uncoordinated attempt to get any friction against you. He's pretty sure he might cum untouched just from the sheer anticipation of it all.
Your panties go next, lost to the heap of the rest of your clothes on the floor. It doesn't take long for strong, calloused hands to rest on your ass, spreading you open so he can tongue-fuck your pussy. Mumbling something unintelligibly about how you taste even better than the wedding cake while your whines synchronise with Art in between sharing lips and spit. Stubble grazing your face and your ass, all three of your mouths too busy for any more wisecracks.
At one point, Art tries to snake his hand in between you and rub your clit, but the front of your dress is still in the way. He still makes the effort to roll his fingers against it over the fabric of your dress, and the sound you make in reply tells him he's at least contributing somewhat to the mess Patrick is making of you. He's content enough to just lick into your mouth greedily and swallow the keening sounds you're making.
"Cumming—" is all you manage to gasp out between kisses before you're clenching around nothing, and Patrick is lapping dutifully at your release. All three of you are groaning like the orgasm is shared between you. It's only when you're bordering on overstimulation and letting out pathetic little whimpers that Art realises he's still circling your clit on autopilot, and his hand falls back to grip the sheets.
"God, she's so fucking pretty when she cums," he moans, and you'd be offended by the fact he's talking about you like you're not here if you weren't so blissed out. "You should have seen her face, Pat."
"I'll see the next one," Patrick says.
Next one? Both a promise and a statement. Just hearing that has you whimpering as Art eases you off of him. Both of them help you out of your dress, a little more gently this time, and you have to ignore the comment Patrick makes about no bra, just for me? You don't have it in you to explain built-in cups and the power of pasties to a man right now. You just want to get fucked. It's only then, when you're all spread out and wanting on the bed, that you realise the wet patches in their matching black boxers (cute, you think) are just as vivid as the one that no doubt stains your lost panties.
"Jesus, you're big." You didn't mean to say that out loud, but you're in too deep to be ashamed about any of the events transpiring right now.
"Which one?" They both ask. The question goes unanswered when you start palming them both through their boxers, a chorus of moans elicited from the pair of them. (You all know the answer, anyways.) Hands grabbing at whoever they can touch, whether it's you or each other, until Patrick has the sense to yank down Art's boxers.
The protest dies on Art's tongue when he sees the way Patrick is eyeing his cock, flushed red tip glinting under the harsh hotel lights with the amount of pre-cum smeared across it. There's a moment where you all think he's going to touch him, wrap a hand around his closest friend's pretty pink dick and jerk him off, but then he simply shrugs off his own underwear. You aren't sure which one of you is more disappointed.
Everything is a haze from then onwards. You can vaguely hear them discussing positions as you kiss at Art's neck, red lipstick mottling his pale skin until it's hard to tell which stains are makeup and which are hickeys.
"We can't ask her to do anal, man. We hardly know her."
"Why not? I bet she'd like it. Fucked in both at once."
"Because that's... it's violating!"
"Oh, right. Because whatever else we're about to do won't be. Real innocent, vanilla sex with three drunk people in our fucking hotel room."
Fucking hotel room. The double-meaning of Patrick's own words makes him snort. The only reason they stop whispering back and forth is because you pull away, settling on all fours. Back arched in a silent invitation, pretty little ass stuck up in the air and arms braced against the silk sheets. They glance at each other, before scrambling to follow, with Art shoving Patrick aside to press himself behind you.
"Why do you get her pussy?" Patrick protests, sitting up and fixing his best friend with an indignant look.
"You said you wanted to see her face when she cums!"
Fuck. He did say that. Stupid logic. Well, it's not as if your throat would be unpleasant; he wonders if your mouth will be as welcoming to his cock as it was his tongue.
"C'mon," you whine, pressing back against Art's throbbing arousal. "Can one of you just do something?"
"D'you want me to use a condom? 'Cause my wallet is in my jacket in the next room—" Art starts, but you're already reaching back to guide his tip between your slick folds. Well, that's an answer if he's ever witnessed one.
Patrick is too busy getting situated in front of your face to make a comment about filthy girls taking it raw. Art's almost disappointed—he'd never be brave enough to make the comment himself. One large palm cupping your face, tilting your head up while the other slaps his cock against your lips. Whatever gloss they'd kissed off was replaced in a new sheen, one that makes him give a soft hum of approval.
"You look pretty," he tells you, and your thanks dies on your tongue when Art pushes into you. Easing himself in inch by inch, until you're practically drooling onto Patrick's tip. "God, what a fucking sight." For a moment, his eyes are on the way Art's face contorts in pleasure at the tight warmth surrounding him. It's even hotter than the way he looked when they used to jerk off in the same room at night.
"Open wide," he instructs, eyes flitting down to you. Smiling down at you with that shit-eating little grin and talking to you like you're at the dentist, not getting spit roasted after your friend's wedding. "Big girls take it all, right?"
You oblige, though—how could you not, when your senses are clouded by Art drilling into you from behind? A few more slaps of his cock against your tongue, and he's pushing himself in, too. His breath catches in his throat as the warm wetness of your mouth envelopes him—yeah, definitely just as welcoming.
You can hardly tell who's moaning at this point. There's something almost beautiful in the synchrony, the way your hands and bodies move against each other. Clutching at Patrick's hips, while he fists your hair, admiring the way the ringlets spill through his fingers like a waterfall as he pushes you down further; gagging at the intrusion in your throat while Art whimpers behind you like this is his first time getting pussy. Each of you are in your own individual heaven, while simultaneously in ecstasy together.
"Good fuckin' girl, just like that—"
"Oh, Pat, she's so tight—"
A hand slaps against your ass, and you can't tell who it belongs to. Patrick seems like the most likely culprit, given how sweet Art had been earlier, but with the way he's ramming into you like a jackhammer leaves you doubtful. It doesn't really matter, though—they both know you enjoyed it, given the way you garble out a moan around Patrick's dick. You don't know if you're praying for mercy or for more.
He lets you come up for air occasionally, telling you how pretty you look taking Art's cock. Such a good girl, before you're being degraded for letting him fuck your throat like a slut. There's no time for arguments before his tip is at the back of your throat again, the sound of your gag reflex going off hardly audible over the sound of moaning, wet slapping and skin hitting skin.
You think you know now. Fire and Ice.
Art reaches around to rub your clit at some point, slurring, "want you to cum first. You deserve it. So fucking good for us."
Patrick makes a sound of disagreement, tightening his grip in your hair as his hips begin to stutter. Not because you aren't being good for them—you're so fucking perfect—but because he wants to be able to see and hear you properly when you cum. He doesn't have the vocal capabilities to voice that aloud right now, though, so he just continues to thrust eagerly past your swollen lips until his climax hits him. You'd be worried about the obscene slew of noises coming from Patrick's hotel room if it weren't a presidential fucking suite. God, why does that make this so much hotter?
He groans out your name—or maybe it was Art's?—as he releases, holding your head in place to ensure it's all aimed down your throat. The salty taste isn't foreign to you, but you still grimace. Patrick takes it as an expression of pleasure, though, withdrawing from your mouth and leaning down to press his lips against yours in a fleeting kiss.
"You can cum," he murmurs. You weren't asking for permission, but you nod anyways. Art's grunts of exertion are the loudest sound in the room, the occasional whine slipping past his lips when your cunt squeezes harder around him. Slick fingers circling your clit until he feels you convulsing around him.
You mewl with pleasure, bowing your head forward, your arms and legs threatening to give way from your arched position. But Patrick catches your chin and tilts it upwards, watching the way your eyes roll back as Art fucks you through your orgasm and your spit-slick lips part around his name. “Art, fuck, yeah—“ It's only after Art announces his own climax with a low moan and collapses on top of you that Patrick is kind enough to wipe the drool coating your chin away.
It's all a bit of a blur after that. Shared kisses between the three of you in the darkness when the light has been switched off—sometimes between Art and Patrick, though neither of them have any intentions of acknowledging it. Gentle caresses against sweaty skin as you lay tangled in Patrick's queen-sized bed, praises whispered aimlessly into the quiet of the humid night.
—
You're gone by the time they wake up. A walk of shame back to your own hotel room in a shirt borrowed from one of their suitcases (you don't know which), mourning the loss of that ugly dress you wanted to sell on eBay afterwards to cover dinner for the month. Neither of them speak of the events that occurred the night before until after breakfast has been ordered and Art has taken several pills for his hangover, eating room service on the same chairs you all sat on last night, their jackets still strewn across the back of them.
"I think that was better than either of us getting laid alone," Art comments, poking at his egg with his fork. Both of them are littered with hickeys, but Art bears the worst of it. He's pretty sure most of the marks came from cuddling with Patrick in bed afterwards, but he’s too afraid to mention it. Not a can of worms he wants to open right now.
"Yeah?" Patrick prompts, with a knowing little smile. Even tired and hungover, Art has enough wits about him to know that something is up. He narrows his eyes, dropping his cutlery onto his plate and sitting up straighter.
"What?" He demands.
"Nothing."
Art leans forward. "There's obviously something, Pat."
"Just... when have I ever not approached a girl I wanted?"
It takes a moment for Art to really process what that means. Last night was a pleasurable, drunken haze, but he does remember Patrick's words in the reception hall. It makes sense now—that bullshit about Patrick waiting for you to approach him.
... Manipulative little bastard. That doesn't stop Art from replying with:
"Fuck you, man." A pause. "... But I think we should do that again some time."