ctm.

San Francisco, CA

[astriloquum]

[stayswagged]

I can't tell when I stopped believing in myself, but this loss of confidence is destroying me.

[la-novellista]

Art. Auguste Rodin, The eternal idol (detail)

[museify]

[c0ssette]

Sandro Botticelli,The Birth of Venus (details)

[disc90s]

[requiem-on-water]

To the moon & back | sculpture by GorobetsArt

[requiem-on-water]

Sacrifice (1911) by Leonardo Bistolfi

[colorhollywood]

Cary Grant

[04k96]

[rylandsgrace]

I love LA (2025 - ) I 1.08

[evermore1237]

[achillesinhighheels]

[loubis-and-champagne]

X

[velvetcloak]

chanel celestial bag SS 2026

[thealfaguy]

[stayswagged]

why do I still love my college bf

[stayswagged]

I still feel this way, but I'm wondering if it's bc I wish that version of myself then could reconcile with the version of me now to be the best I can be for him. If I were better, where could we be now? I feel this ache in my loins to have a child with someone I love - as this is the biggest expression of love - but I can't let this happen with my current husband. If I were to have an ex husband, he would be a good one to have as he yearns constantly for the past while I need things to be better for what's next. But perhaps that's what I'm doing is yearning for the past, and that's where my problem is. How do I trust myself? I'm so glad that I'm capturing these spur of the moment thoughts in this blog post versus killing the planet by sending myself into AI-induced psychosis. Maybe it's because of my body's desire to always be braced for a punch in the gut, or that relates to my desire to create a child.

[diamondsarefriends]

Elizabeth Taylor in Paris, 1957