[stcfani]

hey, friends! so below is some pretty vital information about Stefani ‘ 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 ’ Banks. if anything in the post strikes you as something we can build on, let me know! hopefully i get around to writing some plots, but i can’t make no promises.

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒!

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 + 𝐀𝐆𝐄: Stefani ‘ 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 ’ Banks. 

𝐃𝐎𝐁 + 𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍: May 22nd, Gemini. 

𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄: Men.

𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: Escort.

𝐀𝐅𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: Bloods.

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏𝐒!

𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐋: 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 is the oldest of her parents children, but in this case that doesn’t mean much. Her parents gave her up for adoption at birth and she went from foster home to foster home until she completely ran away from the system at age 17.

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐂: Despite what people might think, 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 is quite friendly. She’s the friend that’s always down for whatever and urging bad behavior. In any friend group, she’s the one pouring 𝐃'𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐄 down her girls’ throat and yelling ‘ AY! ’ when her shit comes on in the club.

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂:  𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 hates these niggas forreal. She often claims that it’s a shame she’s not attracted to women, because her luck with men is non-existent. At this point, she’s chosen to adopt the ‘ fuck these niggas ’ mentality. Until she sees the man she likes with another woman...then she can’t breathe.

𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐑!

𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 started stripping at only SEVENTEEN with a fake ID and an overdeveloped body. She became one of the most sought out dancers by TWENTY-ONE. 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 and her fellow dancers were encouraged by the club manager to entertain men beyond the club for more money. Once the word got out that she was about type of money they were making, more and more girls became interested and the list of notable tricks grew too. Undercutting said manager, 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 started her own escort service with the girls and clientale she procured from the club before she left. Now, she gets paid simply just to keep old rich men company.

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 // 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐒!

𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 𝐕𝐈𝐗𝐄𝐍𝐒 from the late 90s, early 2000s, 𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐄 ( à la THE PLAYERS CLUB directed by ICE CUBE. ) 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐘𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍 (  à la THE PRADA PLAN authored by ASHLEY ANTOINETTE. ) 𝐅𝐎𝐗𝐘 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 ( RAPPER ).

𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋!

𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 knows her angles, so she looks taller in pictures but she’s only 5′3. She has a butterfly tattooed on her left ass cheek, a dreaded tattoo of ‘hello kitty’ that she got in high school. Her breasts are fake, but she swears up and down that they aren’t. 

[stcfani]

( using a pair of disposable tweezers, 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 placed the last set of false eyelashes on the woman she chose to makeover. ) ‘ okay, so boom. you fine girl. don’t let none of them niggas try and push up on you tonight. ’ ( she asked the woman as she handed over the handheld mirror so that she could see herself all dolled up. 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 couldn’t help but to smile at the look on the ladies face. the confidence boost was immediate. ) ‘  alright, this is officially my favorite thing i’ve ever done. what are you getting into? ’ ( she spoke to the familiar face a few feet away from her as she slid the gloves off of her hands for a new pair. )

[stcfani]

noni sangji: what’s one thing you wake up to in the middle of the night worrying about?

if i die in my sleep, they would find me naked. or if a fire breaks out, i’ll have to run out the house naked. 

[stcfani]

☝🏾 + first time being a dominatrix.

i was only eighteen and i didn’t even know what a dominatrix was, BUT. this client told me that he wanted to be tied up and beaten with a whip, and honestly, i thought slavery so i wasn’t with it. i googled how to hog tie and practiced for hours. when i finally got there, it was fucking hilarious. he wanted me to call him all kind of names and i couldn’t get through it without laughing, so he only paid me half my money. 

[stcfani]

for a pessimist, i’m pretty optimistic: are you more of a pessimist or an optimist? // collagen: what common misconception do you hate to hear repeated as fact?

i am a pessimist for the most part. // i hate when people claim men mature slower than women, it’s a lie. men are just coddled and protected + women are forced to grow up fast or they’re considered childish and immature brats. 

[stcfani]

interlude - i’m not angry anymore: when was the last time you were truly angry?

this morning. i’m angry 98% of the time, i just hide it very well, but i went into a blind rage earlier and threw my laptop against the wall so i’m starting a gofundme!

[stcfani]

feeling sorry: which is worse to you: ending a friendship or a relationship?

i can end either one pretty easily. but a friendship is definitely harder unless it’s for a really valid reason. niggas are expendable. 

[stcfani]

a song that represents your love life? a song that fits your aesthetic?

my love what, huh? it’s the same answer for both. da baddest bitch by trina. 

[stcfani]

who was your first crush, if you’ve ever had one?

i had my first crush when i was in seventh grade, on an nineteen year old college freshman named tré who always told me i was too young for him. tré if you see this, i’m grown now!

[stcfani]

🍓

[stcfani]

#TSRRUMORZ | Chile roomies, we got some REAL tea!

Sources say that back in 2019, 𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐍 and his teammates celebrated a victory at a popular Los Angeles Strip Club. From the club, they all decided to have their own private party with dancers of their choice — no harm, no foul. Apparently, the NBA legend was seen getting a bit too cozy with one of the most popular former dancers, 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐈 𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐊𝐒 also known as 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈. We here there is video evidence and from what we here this wasn’t their only encounter! 𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐍 has been married to his wife since 2013 and together they have three beautiful kids. Hopefully this isn’t true, for the kids sake at least. 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐅𝐀𝐍𝐈 is a gorgeous girl, but we hate to see black families crumble so we hope there’s no truth to this!

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒!

@𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑𝟎𝟓: she knew he was married! ugh, i can’t stand money hungry hoes.

@𝐊𝐘𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍: leak the tape, girl! it worked for kim.

@𝐋𝐔𝐗𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐎𝐑: y’all so annoying. HE knew he was married, she don’t owe loyalty to nobody. she was doing her job.

[stcfani]

(𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘’s laughter was contagious, 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 follwed suite absentmindedly. it wasn’t until he began to maneuver her body with only one of his hands, that her interest was piqued. ) ‘ you tell me to act natural, like, the seven foot tall man whistling won’t raise eyebrows. ’ ( the beauty remarked in a voice just above a whisper, although slightly apprehensive on what it is he wanted her to see, she mimicked his every move until she too was eye level with the miniature palm impression. the sight was adorable, so much so, she had to stifle her desire to let out a verbal ‘awww’ as a response. ) ‘ looks like regular ol’ hoodlum graffiti to me. ’ ( her deadpanned expression lasted all of a few seconds before it was replaced by a bright grin, her nose crinkling up as she peered up at the male, directing her line of vision back to the inconspicuous find. ‘ how’d you know this was here? you might be an art connoisseur but you ain’t been this short in a long time. ’

[stcfani]

‘ picasso, picasso — he’s the one who did the self-portraits, yes? ’ ( she queried, genuinely wanting to know the answer, since she was simply speculating at the moment. ) ‘ we can both see that i didn’t pay attention in history class. but we did learn about him and the one who cut his ear off, vincent? either way, even in my limited knowledge i know more white men than black. wild.’

[stcfani]

( 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 noted the richness in the male’s tone as he spoke, causing her to listen intently to his words, her immediately responding with natural banter. ) ‘ ah, watch out, we got mr. aesthete over here! ’ ( she raised her voice only an octave above her normally regulated tone, no one that wasn’t in a five-foot radius could hear her joke as she playfully rolled her eyes at the male. her eyebrows knitted together toward the center of her forehead as he tapped her, her head swiveled to meet the woman in her employee attire, her shoulders slouching when his statement is completed. ) ‘ you ever think about a career in comedy? ’  ( she questioned rhetorically. ) ‘ it just wasn’t something i was introduced to as a kid, and once i got older, the want to go just faded. but since you’re a regular around here, show me some things i’ve missed out on. ’ 

[stcfani]

‘ yeah, my school wasn’t tryna take us any further than the swap meet, so chile. i can’t feel too bad. ’ ( finally tearing her eyes away from the expertly molded clay, she set her eyes on the woman, her face scrunching up as the tail end of her statement morphed into an inquiry. ) ‘ i think the fact that i can’t relate to old ass ‘ outcast’ white men with an axe to grind is suckin’ out the fun. i would probably like an african american museum history a tad bit better. what about you? is obscure art ya’ thing? ’

[stcfani]

( the femme hissed playfully at the numeric value of her lack of culture, shaking her head in faux disappointment of herself. )  ‘ i might as well see what’s poppin’ on love and hip-hop at that point. i wonder if Ray J needs a new love interest. ’ ( she responded jokingly, tilting her head at the relevance of the conversation, seeing as how they were peering at what looked like an african statue. )  i learned that from Black Panther. ’ ( she replied factitiously. ) ‘ ain’t it cute how they always take credit for shit, even when we know they couldn’t pull it off? shame. ’ 

[stcfani]

( 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐈 sauntered around the room of artifacts, zeroing in on the pieces that caught her eye, reading the small blurp written up about each acquired item. she was surprising herself with how interested she was in the art. the presence of someone directly to the side of her caused her to pick her head up and peer over at them, a dainty smile graced her lips as she turned back to the sculpture they were both enamored by. ) on a scale of one to a mona scott young production, how uncultured am i if this is my first time in a museum?