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Oneiroi Favor / Sword Ladies

[steel-princess]

This is all an illusion.

But there is truth within illusion.

And when the illusion fades, the truth will still resonate within you.

When you return to reality, what should you do?

Try to remember your former self.

Remember how you used to feel.

Remember what you used to want.

[effiecalvin]

going to the long bacon store, anyone want anything?

[effiecalvin]

when i take a shower i want the temperature to be boiling hot and i want the water pressure to feel like i'm being shot with a gun

[effiecalvin]

A Kingdom of Swans

When Prince Siegfried defeated the sorcerer von Rothbart, there were twenty-four swan-maidens at the lake, twenty-five counting Princess Odette. They’d been transformed for various reasons, but the curse worked the same way for the entire flock—they lived as swans every day, and only returned to their human forms at night with the rising of the moon.

Nobody in the flock had a terribly high opinion of Prince Siegfried, given how near he’d come to killing Odette, even if it had been a misunderstanding. But when he stood over the sorcerer’s broken body, silver blade dripping blood, the flock collectively decided to give him a second chance.

They left the ancient lakeside tower with the rising of the sun, Odette riding on Siegfried’s horse while the rest of the flock followed behind in a barefoot mob. A few of the real swans accompanied them for a time but returned to the lake when it became clear they were straying beyond flock territory.

Irina was not a princess, or even a noblewoman. Her parents were poor farmers with six children. One hungry, desperate winter, her father had trespassed on the sorcerer’s lands and killed a stag. The sorcerer had come to their cottage that very night and demanded payment, but the most valuable thing they owned was a large copper pot.

Irina had been fourteen years old then. She did not know what her age was now. It was difficult to keep track of the years when one was a swan. Maybe she was twenty, or twenty-five. In any case, the tower and the lake had been her home for what felt like most of her life, and she was not eager to leave.

But a woman could not live on pondweed and tadpoles. And besides, the tower had a new master, and everyone knew that silver-eyed Odile was not nearly as accommodating as her father.

A few hours later, twenty-four strange, feral women in tattered gowns converged on Prince Siegfried’s castle. Servants and nobles alike gasped at the sight of them, peering out from behind banisters and hedges, until the prince’s mother came out to demand an explanation.

Odette was not the only princess in the flock, but she was easily the most beautiful of them all—it was even more evident now that Irina had the chance to view her in daylight. Her hair was a river of gold and her eyes sparkled like sapphires. Her complexion was rosy, her limbs were slender, her lips were full and soft. She wore her tattered linen dress like a ballgown. Anyone could see why Siegfried had fallen in love with her so quickly, and it was at the sight of her that the queen finally stopped shouting.

The castle was already full of foreign visitors who had all come to attend the celebration of Siegfried’s birthday, among them a collection of princesses from faraway lands. Irina felt a bit sorry for them—even with their silk dresses and jeweled tiaras, they’d been no match for Odette, or at least Odile wearing Odette’s face.

Irina supposed Odette and Siegfried were a good match, despite the nearly disastrous events of the previous night. What they lacked in intelligence, they made up for in beauty and kindness and intense loyalty. For months, she had watched them dance by the lake, utterly oblivious to the danger that surrounded them, buffered by the cold and the wind by the warmth of their love. And when the flock had asked if Odette was certain he would make the promise to break her curse, she’d nodded fervently and said, “He will, he will, he will.”

But it was not Siegfried’s loyalty that had broken the curse in the end, it was merely the iron point of a sword. In an odd way, Irina was ashamed that none of the flock had thought of that years ago. They outnumbered the sorcerers twelve to one, they might have been successful with patience and guile and careful planning—

But then what?

The flock was quickly ushered into an elegant parlor, safe from prying eyes and gossiping tongues. Footmen came and brought them hot tea and warm sugared buns, so rich and sweet that Irina nearly spat out the first bite, and some of the older girls actually did.

Next came the maids, with combs and cloths and perfumes. The flock was escorted out of the parlor and into the baths, where the grime of the lake was soaked away and their tattered dresses replaced with soft white gowns, worn over terrible constricting undergarments and sharp, tight shoes.

Once everyone was warm and dry and settled, they were returned to the parlor where more tea and unbearably rich food waited. And then the men came, two of them, one bearing a roll of parchment and a pen, and the other with a stoic, unreadable face. They went to Celia, who was seated nearest to the door, and asked her for her name.

The flock fell silent.

“Celia,” she said in a thin, timid voice. The man with the parchment wrote this down dutifully—or at least, Irina assumed he did. She had never learned to read, and her only experience with books were the ones that Odile threw when she caught the swan-maids in her room searching for tortoiseshell combs and boiled sweets.

“And where is your family from, Celia?” asked the somber man. Despite his face, there was kindness in his voice. When Celia hesitated, he added, “There’s no need to worry, dear girl. We only wish to return you to your parents.”

“But I don’t want—” protested Celia weakly, but then she fell abruptly silent. Irina understood, though. Family or not, they had been a flock for decades, something she expected no one else in the world could understand.

[steel-princess]

I still don't know how to use tumblr

[effiecalvin]

this is me btw. when you’re being mean to me, this is who you’re being mean to

[steel-princess]

Aethiaposting

[shouty-y]

Lesbian knights ⚔️ - Prints

[effiecalvin]

It's a hot summer day. I have a sword in one hand and an ice cream cone in the other. I absent-mindedly lick the blade.

[effiecalvin]

No, I can't put the sword down, I need it to protect helpless women and small animals and my own precious virginity.

[bisexualbaker]

Okay, hear me out: What if ice cream sword?

[effiecalvin]

How am I meant to protect anyone with an ice cream sword???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[steel-princess]

Protect them from the hot

[effiecalvin]

Tumblr game ad characters who need to get their shit together:

Hero Wars Guy. This man is a disaster. He's always getting naked or spat on and he has no idea how numbers work. He is constantly running past perfectly accessible treasure chests and challenging high level monsters that he has no chance against.

The shooter guys who have to shoot at the barrels and also shoot at the giant guy to unfreeze him and also stand in front of the +1s to get more guys. Holy shit you're incompetent. Just pick something to shoot at and commit. Don't stop right when you're in the single digits and change to something else.

The king who is always trapped somewhere and about to be eaten by a dragon. Dude how do you keep getting into these situations? Please reflect on your choices. You're not even pushing that hard, can you try to act with some urgency?

The mom with the little girl who is always out in the cold. Listen I know we live in a capitalist hellscape but you're outside in a frozen wasteland with no shoes or jacket. Your leg is somehow frozen in a solid brick of ice. How did you find yourself in this situation? Please stop looking at me like that. DON'T TAPE UP THE WINDOWS THAT NEVER WORKS! Where did your baby go??? You had a baby in the last scene! Where is he??????

[effiecalvin]

Dark Flight: Chapter One | Effie Calvin

Get more from Effie Calvin on Patreon

The first chapter of Lisette's novella is now on my Patreon!

[effiecalvin]

Idk if Inthya had dinosaurs. Maybe they had mega dragons or something.

[effiecalvin]

Esofi doesn't believe in them tho

[spacebughugs]

I believe in them!!

[effiecalvin]

Inthi, directing a meteor towards the planet: There has to be an easier way to get birds. Nara: Just do it, okay.

[effiecalvin]

The council has decreed that it is time for a nap.

[effiecalvin]

I wanna do a book about a witch who comes from a long line of powerful and secretive women, who uses tools and rituals that were handed down from great-great-great grandmothers, and I want her to meet a modern witch who uses sanrio tarot cards, whose crystals are all glass or resin. Even her spells are absolute nonsense but for some reason they still work for her (impossible???), and they drive each other insane and go on an adventure together.

[effiecalvin]

"This athame has been in my family for six hundred years."

"Well mine has Shadow the Hedgehog on it, sooo..."

[effiecalvin]

"This isn't jasper, this is glass with a jasper pattern screen printed on."

"Oh shit, really? I got it from Temu."

"Wait... are all your crystals from Temu?"

"No, some are from TikTok."

[effiecalvin]

Witch 1 decides Witch 2 must have been stolen as an infant from a powerful magical family if she's able to do magic with literal garbage despite Witch 2 repeatedly explaining that there's video footage of her mom giving birth to her.

Witch 1 learns a lesson about gatekeeping and Witch 2 learns a lesson about the exploitation of workers in the global south and how mindless consumerism won't give her the sense of identity and purpose she's been seeking.

[effiecalvin]

"Stop saying we need to find my bioparents! I know my bioparents! My dad is an actuary and my mom is a realtor!"

"Your mother might have given birth to you, but that just means we need to find your real father to make sure we are not related bc I don't want to start dating you until I've verified this."

"MY FATHER IS HAPPILY MARRIED TO MY MOTHER."

"Maybe I can do a locating spell..."

"You're going to need one for your teeth in a minute."

[effiecalvin]

"Look, the fact of the matter is it's incredibly rare for a witch to just be spontaneously born to nonmagical parents. We might be, you know, long lost sisters..." "LIKE ON CHARMED?" "Never mind, we're definitely not related."

[effiecalvin]

Mid evil

[effiecalvin]

Reblog to violate all the history.

[effiecalvin]

i wonder if getting Changed occasionally fixes colorblindness

[effiecalvin]

"yeah I was neutral on the body but I can see red and green now so that's cool."

[effiecalvin]

raises the question of "is the Change cosmetic or genetic"

given Dayluue's domain (sex and reproduction) it would make sense for it to actually be genetic, whereas if a goddess like Meyit (beauty) offered it, it would be cosmetic, but idk, I just work here

[grifoncito]

If you’re LGBT reblog and tag with your opinion on beer.

[steel-princess]

I like it. Too much unfortunately.

[effiecalvin]

Here is a list of places you can buy this thing if you are so inclined: https://linktr.ee/effiecalvin