This community needs to sit down and listen for a moment, primarily a specific part of this community
Over the last few weeks, my Partners and Friends have been getting harassed, I have stayed silent on the topic, for a mix of wishing to avoid the same for myself, and assuming it would die down after a while. It did not.
This was for a mix of reasons, primarily being reactive while calling out those who were pro non-consentual harm.
You can claim there were other reasons, but there truely wasn't, I will actively search through their blogs to provide fuckin proof if asked.
It all came to a head recently when one of my friends decided to come out about their grooming experience with Permamonika and the way he had treated them.
When I chose to rejoin this community, I was admittedly groomed into it. When I say groomed, I mean it, I was guilt tripped for having trauma responses around it, and due to my situation when I began to enter this community it was my only form of socialising, and my only way to really push back against my abuser. That got me away from such person. To a degree I thought the community had changed.
Something funny is, I learned during those months to duck my head in the sand, to really ignore the worst parts. Because hey, like we always say, there's bad parts in any community, right Lad?
This is pretty true. But other communities don't let it fester.
During these months I bumped into discord servers that were purely made for CSAM trading. This should've been my first sign to hit the road. If these types of servers existed anywhere else, that community would bloody be fuming. Not here though
Then I bumped into entire websites full of it, if you enter almost any radqueer only website, it will be a CSEM/CSAM ring. It WILL be passed about.
But that's not the real community? Is it?
Until now, what's reminded me why 14 year old me couldn't do it here, couldn't deal; how you've handled my friend.
Harassing a victim (Peter) to the point of them wanting suicide, supporting a groomer to the point of being willing to die on that hill. There are alot of you who don't care about victims. Alot, and I'm pretty tired of acting like you do.
You hate that my friend, my friends, none of them are perfect victims, and it makes me ill. They are not your run of the mill quiet types, and none of you can handle that. They are human, they are impulsive, they are mentally ill, they yell, they bite, they scratch, they claw, not aesthetically, not in a way you can reblog and then ignore the discourse ever happened, they truely BITE.
Especially Peter, he is still a member of youth, a minority. He is definitely not the ideal victim, and for that, despite being groomed, asked for nudes as a 14 year old. He did not back down, he yelled, he fought. He was not the perfect victim, he did not quiet down. He responded to his abuse different than I ever had, he did not become a poseable doll who you can take your frustration out on and still get perfect quiet responses from, he bared his claws, and I'm honestly proud for him.
Victims do not need to be quiet, they don't need to shut their mouths and take it, they don't need to just pretend it didn't happen. They're allowed to yell, and fight, they get that right, they don't own you being nice after going through hell, or if your putting them through hell, especially not to their abuser.
You've made me question if I am pro-recovery for all. I am no longer sure I am, not in this way, not in this everlasting only forgiveness way.
I am anti-prison, but I think I am pro-public/social justice. I am anti-locking people away, but I am pro-victims standing their ground.
It's all made me question my part in my community, how many of you like me because I am the quiet victim, I know I shake when yelled at, I back down when threatened, I keep my head hung low and let it happen, I keep quiet, still. How many will get pissed when I bring it up, when I talk to you honestly? How many of you will send me to suicide when I stop averting my eyes?
Here's a rent lowering statement : we are not in an ideal world.
We are not in an ideal world where racism, ableism, ageism, ect doesn't exist.
I'm pro-this, I'm pro-that. Okay? Will that work on a mass scale in the current social climate?
right now I'll focus on pro-c maps, but this applies to alot in this community.
In this current climate, if we are pro-c maps, will this not be taking advantage of? Will youth have the ability to reach out in their situations and take control? Will there be no way of a power embalance?
No. Not because youth are lesser. I know what you'll claim I'm saying. But because youth is a minority, a minority with not enough rights or education to combat their abusers.
A minority who are taught from a young age to give their abusers what they want, because if not there's consequences. A minority who are taught from a young age that they cannot speak out without punishment. A minority who is taught what happens to adults is fundamentally their fault. Who risk familial isolation, even peer isolation when coming out on abuse. Who risk societal judgement. Who risk corporal punishment. Who aren't listen to. Aren't taken serious. Can be thrown into homes they did not choose at any point. Can be sent to places they do not want to go at any point. Shipped in containers like mail, sold, used as slaves.
I'm pro-youth lib. Anti-c in this current social climate.
Because youth as a minority have had their right to consent taken away in more serious ways than just laws, and until these ways are changed, no adult and minor relationship can truely be equal. Not one with an agegap of 14 and 21.
This applies to more than just youth. This applies to alot of things. Can we really accept everyone? Can we really be pro-every identity? Or is that too vague? What happens when we give people at a mass scale the ability to identify as a abuser? What happebs when we beleive people are recovered at a mass scale with no evidence?
These aren't my only problems with this community, I think you all have a problem with promoting people getting worse. Parts of my mental health was absolutely over accepted by this community. I think you all forget some mentally disabled people don't have the ability to consent when they truely get deep into it. I certainly don't and cannot consent. Nevermind how you all treat boundaries especially around people in relationships. This is not the post for that.
I don't know if I want to be apart of this community anymore. Not after revisiting this all. Not after reliving the worst parts of this community. I've been here before. I HAVE PLAYED THESE GAMES BEFORE!!! It makes me sick. I don't want to co-exist with abusers and real life predators just because "all communities have their bad parts". I don't care if it means I have to hide myself. I don't want to! I've never wanted to!
We'll see, maybe I'll change my mind.
Probably not. I'll likely keep this account, but I don't think I'll ever truely feel comfortable in this community again.
Sayonara you weeaboo shits, mentally I'm out. Even if I answer asks or make posts after this.
And to anyone following me, this doesn't mean I hate you, if you have done nothing wrong this is not an attack on YOU. I just cannot co-exist with abusers who get off free anymore. No thank you.
