holy shit its dave

its not morning until i sleep

but hey

sup

Isn’t sleep impo+rtant to+ humans?

yeah usually

gotta spend like a third of your life doing that shit

Go+o+d mo+rning Dave.

its not morning until i sleep

but hey

sup

you know sometimes i gotta wonder like would i still be a dude if i didnt grow up basically getting constantly bombarded with all the shit about how being a chick is somehow bad what if im just like a max level tomboy or some shit idk

this is ellen paige

Yes Dave, I googled them.

I can say that I’m not really getting the mental image though

Maybe I should try putting them in one of those baby websites

im on mobile

super advanced aliens

never got around to inventing fish google

Listen here

Humans are weird

this is ellen paige

i look like

uh

honestly i look like the love child of ellen page and mary winstead in rad shades

I have no idea who either of those people are, tbh

super advanced aliens

never got around to inventing fish google

uh

both

i mean

the dominion looks like a dragon and turns better now

thats kinda sexy right

Yeah that’s a pretty sexy spaceship, I’d ride it.

IDEK what you look like so I can’t give you an honest answer to what I think of your potential sexiness vs nonsexiness.

i look like

uh

honestly i look like the love child of ellen page and mary winstead in rad shades

Did you make a sexy spaceship or are you asking if I think you’re hot

#yeah basically #gonna die sooner or later #might as well have fun until then

uh

both

i mean

the dominion looks like a dragon and turns better now

thats kinda sexy right

oh fuck

i just realized

its ‘gypped’

that word is racist as fuck

holy shit

#racism

TODAY I ACTUALLY SAW 3 TRUCKS CARRYING BREAD. FUCKING BREAD. AND OF COURSE IT HAD TO BE DAVE'S.

@stevenseagal

Are you seeing this shit

i fucking love bread

id eat it all day if i could

Nah, your legacy is Cool Spaceship Dave

For now.

#i dunno #maybe #or maybe i get hit by a falling paint bucket from some guy on a roof #or whatever #point being #life is full of stupid random final destination bullshit #and im not gonna get jipped out of a good time because of it

i can live with that

what about hot spaceship dave

Sto+p breaking space, Dave! I have to+ clean that!

shit sorry

my bad

#comfy shirt though

I do

They’re seared into my brain forever

#technically #like #everything is a deadly risk #especially for me #i could choke to death on toast #and then all the being careful in the world wouldnt mean shit #lion for a day is better than a lamb for 100 years #or however that saying goes

cool

thats gonna be my legacy i guess

weird euphemisms dave

I sent it. Ho+pefully it go+t there alright? I wo+nder ho+w lo+ng it’ll take.

its here

i heard the internal logic of the plot bend when it got here

oh shit there goes the fourth wall too

give it a sec

itll go back to normal

i think

honestly i dont know but it sounded like a good thing to say

the terms you come up with….

#am i moving too fast #like #dont wanna creep you out #or make you uncomfortable or whatever

honestly i dont even remember most of the earlier ones

voidemort-moving

nah no