Fish Government

💧The sea holds secrets.💧 Val • They/Them • Old? (Independent OC blog)

[autokrates]

18+ | IC Blog | Private/Selective

FTF/Musing Blog | Selfie Tag | Rules | OOC

Fandomless OC RP Blog for a deeply unserious scifantasy space faelien.

What's up, it's Critter.

This blog features a magical space fish who is the ruler of an alien empire. They're chill about it.

They're friendly and a bit of a flirt, but they are NOT human and lack a lot of human context, morals, and standards.

On this blog things stay more lighthearted as Valera tends to keep things superficial on what is meant to be a funny social space, but there are occasional discussions of heavier topics. Space imperialism, politics, etc, as they are relevant to the character.

[namethatghostling]

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

[feelingautistic]

While great white sharks are most well known for leaping out of the water (known as breaching), shortfin mako sharks hold the record for the highest breach, breaching 9m (~30ft) from the surface.

[autokrates]

Just an unpleasant encounter with someone trying far too hard to charm me, my dear! Nothing serious, just annoying. You know how opportunistic people can be.

[a-royal-hoot]

📖 Ah, yes, the ass kissers. It's like they think no one can tell that they're trying to work you over like a slot machine. That, I don't miss.

📖 I take it one was especially annoying?

[autokrates]

Agonizingly so. He kept calling me "little lady" and "Missy" like I was a child, while also trying to throw innuendos into the conversation. So I was getting the worst mixed signals as to what angle he was even trying to use!

I ended up just telling the guards to throw him out and revoked his travel permit. Assuming he wasn't intercepted and put in the ground by my husband, he'll be flying home on the next transport with his tail between his legs.

[autokrates]

I'm so easy to win over that it's comical. So how do people constantly find ways to make me look at them like they're something stuck to the bottom of my shoe instead.

[a-royal-hoot]

Oh no, my dear, did something happen?

[autokrates]

Just an unpleasant encounter with someone trying far too hard to charm me, my dear! Nothing serious, just annoying. You know how opportunistic people can be.

[autokrates]

I'm so easy to win over that it's comical. So how do people constantly find ways to make me look at them like they're something stuck to the bottom of my shoe instead.

[ripplepool]

how do i get here in life

[ashen-atrium]

Oh what could he have possibly ssssaid this time?

[autokrates]

He said his favorite food was better than mine. Our favorite foods are nearly identical, basically the difference between fried and steamed buns.

For context, this has been a LIFELONG argument between the two of us. Hours of our lives spent talking circles around each other over something that does NOT matter. So there's the weight of an entire lifetime behind this statement. He comes into my room, looks me in the eye, and says "I just feel like kinapi is better than kichuu" and an entire lifetime's worth of rage is instantly awoken.

[autokrates]

Nobody in this world or any other can piss me off the way Istoph can. Nine words and I'm yelling at the top of my lungs chasing him around to strangle him with my bare hands.

[a-royal-hoot]

📖 Terribly sorry for that, my dear. Though we all have our tos and fros, I suppose! How have you and yours been?

📖 Hmm, well, the problem with that is. I would have to send someone else. My banishment was, ah, very publicized. I don't get as many glares on the street any longer, but they would know not to allow my entry. And even if it hadn't been, that fucking harpy I divorced would have delighted in telling the staff I was barred.

📖 Though I must admit. The term "smash and grab" is bringing to mind a very pleasant little fantasy, indeed, hoo!

📖 I'm just. Tired of not having one of my pillows. I'm getting used to these off the rack, untailored clothes! And I would very much appreciate at least ONE FUCKING TOWEL that's me-sized. Maybe I could even rescue one of my old plants...

📖 But I keep trying to remind myself that it likely isn't worth the risk of the trouble it could bring. I've been surviving off of charity, am I to throw it in their faces? Oh, the indecision is maddening...!

[autokrates]

We've been quite well! The children are growing up before my eyes, and my life continues apace.

I held a little gala recently, we all piled up into a space station and ate fancy foods while we watched a hail of meteors fall into a gas giant's atmosphere. It was like fireworks! I do wish you could have been there, I think you'd have enjoyed yourself, or at the very least enjoyed the snacks!

There's nothing wrong with wanting some of the conveniences and comforts of your old life, my dear. If you're worried about offending them, why not give them something else to target as a reward? At that point it's a heist, and those can turn a profit that they'd surely be tempted by. You know the layout, the security, nobody better to give them all the information they'd need. And if they grab some of your little comforts while they're there, well, wouldn't that be nice?

[autokrates]

[[ 13 hour shift, brain is toasted. responses tomorrow.

[a-royal-hoot]

@autokrates replied to your post “📖 I need to be talked out of doing something very..”:

I mean, would people die.

​📖 Valera, my friend!

📖 Hm, well... Perhaps, but doubtful. It would still be dangerous.

📖 I had the idiotic, impulsive thought to rob the vacation home in the Sloth Ring for some of my things. I cannot stop thinking about it.

[autokrates]

Hello darling, long time no see my fine feathered friend!

Oh, a little smash and grab kind of event? I don't know, I think you could pull it off. Shouldn't even be too hard to just "hire movers" and get some associates to dress up.

In my experience, if you act confident and slightly annoyed, people rarely question you. Especially if they've been trained for subservience their whole lives.

[taylornprice]

shells

[grinningjaws]

yeah, not everyone is a crocodile

[autokrates]

Not everyone can sleep underwater comfy style.

[autokrates]

Every now and then I start typing a post and then change my mind and cancel it because of how amazingly unrelatable it is.

[decapod-of-the-day]

Decapod of the day: Enoplometopus daumi | Daum's Reef Lobster

[autokrates]

Hee hee, my gala.... I will talk about it a little bit later perhaps....