Im Too Tired For This Shit @sticky-dylan - Tumblr Blog

Hey there! I’m Dylan!

My pronouns are He/They.

I’m 20!

I’m big into Batman, The Magnus Archives/Protocol, and Doctor Who.

Up to you if you want to interact with me. I don’t see the need to write out who I will and won’t interact with and I don’t particularly care who engages with things I make. That being said, I block assholes, and will not tolerate any kind of bigotry or other hate on my blog.

Thanks for vibing and keeping it tight

papayafromtv

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 8 (masterpost here)

*during dinner, Alfred is putting away cooking utensils while the family eats*

Bruce: Damian, you know the rules. no ipad at the dinner table.

Damian, not looking up from his drawing: Drake is on his laptop.

Tim, one hand typing, the other scooping up pasta: that's different, i'm working a case.

Damian: if you claim that to be different then you plant the idea that my interests and hobbies are less important than slaving away for your mission and thus that my mental health should be neglected. if i have to drop this, then Drake has to drop the laptop.

Bruce:

Bruce: ...Tim,

Tim: *tightens hold on laptop*

Bruce:

Bruce, sighing: fine, whatever.

Jason, grinning next to Damian: can i see your progress, squirt?

Damian: *tilts ipad ever so slightly*

Jason: *grins manically* awesome.

Alfred: *walks by to get to the fridge, glancing over Damian's shoulder*

Alfred: *freezes, eyes catching on the drawing*

Jason: *notices Alfred* *snorts, covering his mouth*

Jason, innocently, after collecting himself: you know Alfie, Dami's actually been selling some of his drawings for extra pocket money; you should be really proud of him.

Alfred:

Alfred, dead inside, still staring at the drawing: is he now.

Jason, visibly holding back laughter: yeah he's uh- he's in high demand.

Bruce: oh, have you been selling some of your pieces to classmates or something? that's very innovative Damian, it sounds great.

Damian, slowly: yes... a few classmates.. a few other people...

Jason, smug: i've been spreading the word of his talents; gettin' him new clients.

Alfred, faint: of course you have.

Dick, excitedly leaning across the table: ooooh, that's so cool! i wanna see- let me-

Dick: *freezes, eyes widening*

Jason: *desperately covering his mouth with both hands*

Bruce: Dick, stop leaning on the table; get back in your seat.

Dick: is that Batman furry art?

Tim: *chokes on his pasta* w-hat-?

Bruce:

Jason: *ducks down under table to curb a wheeze*

Bruce, deadly calm: ...Damian. let me see the ipad.

Damian: *tightens grip*

Bruce: Damian.

Alfred, actively fleeing the room: i hear the phone ringing i think-

papayafromtv

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 7 (masterpost here)

*Alfred chopping vegetables when Damian wanders into the kitchen, bag in hand*

Damian: *humming, sets his bag on the table*

Damian: *brings out two lollipops*

Damian: *brings out a box of citric acid*

Alfred: *narrows eyes, pausing*

Damian, still humming: *moves to cupboard and brings out powdered sugar*

Damian: *dips one lollipop in powdered sugar, and the other in citric acid*

Damian: *puts everything back and puts the lollipops on a plate*

Damian: *sits at the table and starts texting on his phone*

Alfred: *still confused, slowly going back to food prep*

~a few minutes later~

Tim: *walks in*

Damian: *casually picks up the powdered sugar lollipop and sticks it in his mouth* *grunts in greeting at Tim*

Tim: hey, whats up?

Damian, around the lollipop: *shrugs* Jon was in Gotham earlier. gave me some sweets.

Tim: oh, neat. *steals the other lollipop*

Alfred: *pauses again*

Damian: *does not look up from his phone*

Tim: *sticks lollipop in his mouth*

*a beat*

Tim: *freezes* *face morphs*

Tim: hrrk-

Tim: *spits out lollipop, gags, rushes to throw up in the sink*

Tim: hrrc- you- you FUCKING- *dry heave*

Damian: *keeps mindlessly texting*

Tim, coughing and choking as he finally stands up: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE DAMIAN?!

Damian: *starts humming again*

Tim, enraged: *storms out the room* BRUCE-

Alfred:

Alfred: what was the purpose of that?

Damian, casual: you know, interestingly enough, i didn't even actually have one this time.

Alfred:

waveoftheocean

two fashion icons, actually

kyrieixxxx

coolerhope

Every time Hoid makes an appearance in a book, my brain immediately just thinks of this post

rebornautumn

inksilvery

Steph portrait in your timeline

oifaaa

then is Kon tenna

You think Kon is Tims tall ex no my friend thats

superkometa

Superhero team as a metaphor for online friendship

superkometa

I've known you for years, but don't know your name. I trust you with my biggest fears, but you'll never even know how I look. I wish I could take you to my favourite coffee shop or park, but I'll never be able. If something were to happen to you I would never know. You are one of most important people in my life, I wish I could introduce you to others

idea i had

more

tuvok and his thing with neelix when he hates him but craves his presence whenever in altered states of conciousness (brain damage, you could argue tuvix) is so funny bc it's world's first case of a man fighting to supress his urges towards another man where the urges are fully platonic. tuvok tossing and turning at night not willing to face himself and admit neelix would make a delightful friend