Hello Marvel fan.
In front of you are two pills.
The pill on the left turns you into a Comic Purist. You will spend the rest of your life arguing with teenagers on the internet over headcanons. Every conversation will somehow become about a panel from 1994. You will write six thousand words explaining why someone drawing Peter Parker with a slightly different personality is a direct attack on the integrity of the medium. The words "media literacy" will leave your mouth so often that they lose all meaning.
The pill on the right turns you into a Fandom Fan. You will never read a comic book. You will, however, have extremely strong opinions about them. Your knowledge will come exclusively from Tumblr posts, TikTok edits, and screenshots taken from people who also have not read the comics. Entire characters will be reduced to whatever version is most convenient for your ship. Any canon that disagrees with you will be declared bad writing and immediately ignored.
We have also provided a gun if you'd rather shoot yourself.
Can I have the gun please! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
(comictok* is shaking in its boots at this choice)
*said by someone on comictok
The gun is empty as we are evil.
