Most of my childhood trauma comes from being ignored. Not being acknowledged for anything. Now, I struggle with imposter syndrome. Constantly settling for jobs that I’m way too over qualified for, not having any desire to upgrade myself because it all boils down to who cares, what’s the point. It has messed up my life and I’ve been paying for it since. This has got to stop now. All the potential people seem to speak of me that I just can’t see within myself. Having a wall up when I’m asked about my personal life. Ghosting those who care about me whenever an issue arises. And the list seems to go on and on.
It is not awkward or weird that people care about me. I exist and bring joy to their lives so why wouldn’t they ask about my well-being. I am never alone. My existence matters. You are not a ghost, girl. I am a real girl with feelings that deserves to be heard. I may never get the apologies I deserve, I can only forgive my little self for expecting so much from those who raised me. It is no one’s fault, nobody knew better. I was a chaotic kid that no one knew how to handle, so they just leave me be.
Now I’m left to pick up the pieces of myself. I cannot keep victimising myself for the decisions that I made. I take full responsibility for myself & I choose to grow. It’s time to start living, not just existing. I recognise & understand that these traumas are not what defines me. I owe it to the world to showcase my talents and creativity.
