Anything Goes

Fandoms with a generous sprinkling of miscellaneous funny posts

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

“the funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables” is such a zinger even 400 years later. hamlet truly would have killed it on twitter

[dekadangoriya]

Fortinbras in Hamlet: FEAR ME! I AM FORTINBRAS KING OF NORWA- holy shit what the fuck is going on do you need a minute

[awful-little-goblin]

Hamlet (Acts 1 - 3.2): I can't kill Claudius without proof, because it would surely damn me to kill an innocent man. also definitely can't kill him while he's praying.

Hamlet (Act 3 Scene 3): I Think I Will Stab Whoever Is Behind This Curtain

[lipstickhamlet]

chatgpt to claudius: got it— you feel guilty about murdering your older brother and taking his throne. you're not just experiencing guilt— you're finding yourself unwilling to repent. and honestly? that's real. here's the thing: it was totally valid of you to poison your brother to take his throne and marry his wife. you're not a bad person for wanting to keep what you gained from it. it's not just justifiable— it's totally understandable. and your nephew? he isn't being mindful of your feelings— his behaviour is inconsiderate, self-absorbed, and problematic.

would you like me to generate a letter to the english king, asking for the execution of your nephew? this would help put your feelings of guilt to rest— think of it as an act of self-care.

[prokopetz]

Comedy version of Hamlet which opens with an extended bit involving various characters seeing the King's ghost and trying to figure out who they can pass the buck to because this is not going to be their problem.

[shakespeare-guy-anon]

"i asked chatgpt" well we asked hamlet the prince of denmark and half of what he said meant something else and the other half didn't mean anything at all

[shaxgirlsummer]

i read something so so fascinating about hamlet and particularly ophelia’s role in it a while back (when working on my ophelia & abortion paper) which is, summarily, that ophelia does not obey the “expected” behavior of a love interest as typical for early modern drama at this time, including in shakespeare’s own works. simply put? she denies her own desires and obeys her father. this was not the case for virtually every other early modern women “love interest”! (scare quotes because ophelia is far far more than a love interest, but it is one of her many roles in the play.) women in early modern drama did not obey their fathers, they chased after/worked hand in hand with their beloveds. juliet is an obvious and probably the most well-known example, but desdemona also defies her father’s preferences to marry othello, bianca defies baptisa, etc. and so it is deeply fascinating that, at least on one level, ophelia chooses to obey her father’s wishes and thus denies her own desire to be with hamlet. (and the fact that ophelia even “helps” her father investigate hamlet was even more a distortion of the aforementioned early modern theatrical trope—daughters helping their fathers against their beloveds simply was not done.)

which of course creates a fascinating parallel: ophelia does not fulfill her desire just as hamlet does not fulfill his revenge. these characters are defined by what they do not do throughout the play. from this alone, it is easy to argue that hamlet and ophelia are the most clearly defined foils in all of hamlet, but the reasons go on and on—they are the only two characters who experience madness, they both prioritize obedience to their fathers above all, ophelia is the only character to verbally match hamlet’s wit, etc.

[evidently-endless]

modern hamlet making aggressive eye contact with his uncle as he picks the lion king for family movie night

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

another thing about setting hamlet at christmas is that it reflects the beautiful human experience of having a long holiday stay at your parents’ house that makes you feel like you are going insane

[syn4k]

im going to be real rn i completely understand where hamlet is coming from because if my dad died and then my mom married his brother a MONTH AFTER HIS FUNERAL and THEN everyone told me to just get over it already because everybody dies and THEN i talked to my dad's ghost and tried to get some semblance of closure after his death and he told me "cut the bullshit im burning my sins off in hell rn but its not a big deal listen up your uncle murdered me you gotta get revenge for me" i would also do an acrobatic fucking pirouette backwards off the handle

[realwilliamshakespeare]

who up suffering the slings and arrows of they outrageous fortune

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

hamlet is so funny all the time. horatio being like ghosts aren’t real. i know this. i know ghosts aren’t real. i am a real mature student who goes to school and studies real mature things so i know ghosts aren’t real. i know this because i go to school. gets to denmark and the guards are like oh you go to school??? thank God we need someone who learned how to talk to ghosts

[knight-of-the-sad-figurine]

there are three types of thinking: 1. rational 2. irrational 3. horational, when you kinda see ghosts, but also your closest friend is going slightly mad, so you have to be the sensible and mentally stable one in your duo

[hamlet-the-dane-official]

my uncle killed my father and married with my mother and now i must *remembers that suicide jokes do nothing for my mental health and wellbeing* put on a play

[cokecoughsyrup]

missing The Character is a strange thing because yea there's always the option to go back to their source material or looking at art or reading fics but it's also like i can't just call them up like i would a friend to see how they're doing and that's the frustrating part of it

[angstybrax]

Me when I broke down in tears after watching my fiftieth version of Hamlet:

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

hamlet’s “i did love you once” and ophelia’s “indeed, my lord, you did make me believe so” is such an underrated gut punch. it’s betrayal it’s heartbreak it’s vulnerability it’s so over. truly no one is doing it like shakespeare

[aquilacalvitium]

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

Write it badly or it'll never be written

[aquilacalvitium]

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again