bleh. Doodling a bit before going back to homework =w=;

@theartofmadeline
Jules of Nature

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@stilessquirrelinski
bleh. Doodling a bit before going back to homework =w=;
My co-worker sent an email saying he would be late because he was trying to untie a squirrel tail knot. I asked for a picture, and he delivered. This is the email he sent:
I was pressed into squirrel rescue this morning on my way out. 5 young squirrels got tangled in Christmas lights in my neighbor’s yard. We got the lights off, but now their tails are one big knot, so I have to bring them into a rescue place to untie them, as I am unequipped to untie squirrel tail knots. I should be in this afternoon.
KNOTS. OHMYGOD, KNOTS, ARE YOU EVEN -
SEE, STILES GETS PRESSED INTO RESCUING THESE FIVE SQUIRRELS TANGLED UP IN THIS KINDLY OLD LADY’S YARD, OR - OKAY, MORE LIKE HE VOLUNTEERS, BECAUSE THOSE THINGS ARE DAMN ADORABLE - AND HE SPENDS AGES CAREFULLY WORKING HIS FINGERS THROUGH SOFT FUR AND WIRES, BECAUSE THIS IS MORE DIFFICULT THAN A GORDIAN KNOT, EVEN THOUGH ONE OF THE SQUIRRELS IS SOME KIND OF DARK-FURRED, RED-EYED MUTANT THAT KEEPS GLARING AT HIM, LIKE, ‘HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME,’ OR SOMETHING.
IT’S FREAKY BUT ALSO WEIRDLY ADORABLE, SO STILES DELIBERATELY PETS IT ON THE HEAD WITH A SINGLE FINGER, AND SNATCHES IT AWAY WHEN THE SQUIRREL SNARLS (HOW CAN SQUIRRELS EVEN SNARL? ALTHOUGH, WELL, ADMITTEDLY, IT’S AN UNBEARABLY CUTE MINI-SNARL), WHILE MOST OF THE OTHER LITTLE SQUIRRELS TREMBLE IN AN INTIMIDATED MANNER. THERE’S ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE THE SQUIRREL VERSION OF BAMBI, WITH BIG, WET EYES AND ODDLY CURLY FUR ON TOP OF ITS HEAD, AND ANOTHER THAT SEEMS KIND OF ZEN, IN A DEADPAN KIND OF WAY, AND ANOTHER ONE THAT HAS THIS GORGEOUS, GOLDEN-TINGED FUR AND BERRY-JUICE STAINING ITS MOUTH LIKE LIPSTICK, AND FINALLY, THERE’S THIS OLDER, TRICKY-LOOKING SQUIRREL WITH SHARP, NARROW EYES THAT KEEPS, LIKE, SMIRKING AT STILES AND TRYING TO MOLEST HIS WRIST, OR SOMETHING, ALTHOUGH MAYBE STILES IS JUST LOSING HIS MIND AND IS ANTHROPOMORPHIZING SQUIRRELS AFTER AN HOUR SPENT DETANGLING THEIR TAILS. THEIR INCREDIBLY SOFT TAILS. THAT STILES IS KIND OF GOING TO MISS TOUCHING, WHEN THIS IS DONE.
FINALLY, THEY’RE FREE, AND THEY ALL SQUIRREL AWAY, EXCEPT FOR THE DARK SQUIRREL THAT GLARES AT HIM AND MAKES THIS TINY SHOVING MOTION AGAINST STILES’S LEG, LIKE IT WANTS TO SHOW STILES WHO’S BOSS, AND THAT STILES REALLY SHOULD JUST GTFO.
“WHAT, DON’T YOU TRUST ME?” STILES ASKS IT. “I JUST SAVED YOUR FURRY LIL’ ASS.”
AFTER A VERY UN-SQUIRRELLY GROWL, THE DARK ONE BOUNDS OFF AFTER ITS BUDDIES WITH WHAT SEEMS TO BE AN OVERLY ACROBATIC DISPLAY OF LEAPING AND TWISTING IN THE AIR (WHAT THE HELL? DID IT ESCAPE FROM A CIRCUS, OR SOMETHING?), AND MEANWHILE, THE TRICKY, WRIST-MOLESTING SQUIRREL STOPS AT THE BOUNDARY OF THE YARD AND… AND LEERS AT STILES, OR AT LEAST, IT FEELS LIKE IT’S LEERING.
THIS IS OFFICIALLY THE WEIRDEST DAY EVER.
BUT IT’S NOT AS WEIRD AS THE DAY, ABOUT A WEEK LATER, THAT STILES STARTS NOTICING HE’S BEING FOLLOWED.
BY THE DARK SQUIRREL.
FOLLOWED TO SCHOOL (STILES CATCHES GLIMPSES OF IT DISAPPEARING AROUND CORNERS AND BEHIND PARKED CARS IN THE SCHOOL’S PARKING LOT), FOLLOWED HOME (HE SEES THE END OF A BLACK TAIL SNEAKING PAST HIS WINDOW), FOLLOWED TO SCOTT’S HOUSE (HE HEARS A SOFT, SCAMPERING SOUND ON THE ROOF OF HIS JEEP WHEN HE SETS OFF), AND FOLLOWED TO THE GAS STATION (THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS).
FINALLY, ONE NIGHT, STILES DELIBERATELY LEAVES HIS WINDOW OPEN WITH A BOWL OF PEANUTS ON THE SILL, AND SURE ENOUGH, THE SQUIRREL ENTERS AND SITS THERE, NIBBLING RESENTFULLY AT A PEANUT AND GLOWERING AT STILES ALL THE WHILE, LIKE IT’S STILES’S FAULT THAT IT’S HERE, AND THAT STILES USING PEANUTS TO LURE IT IN IS PART OF SOME NEFARIOUS CONSPIRACY THAT CAN ONLY LEAD TO STILES SKINNING IT ALIVE, OR SOMETHING.
“HEY, I JUST WANTED TO SEE THE FACE OF MY STALKER,” STILES HUFFS. “Y’KNOW, FOR A SQUIRREL, YOU SURE DO HAVE TRUST ISSUES.”
THE SQUIRREL BRISTLES AND GROWL-CHATTERS AT HIM, BUT GIVEN THE FACT THAT IT’S STILL GOT ITS FRONT TEETH BURIED IN A PEANUT, IT’S NOT EXACTLY INTIMIDATING.
“YEAH, YEAH. I’VE GOTTA DO MY HISTORY HOMEWORK, SO LEAVE WHEN YOU’RE DONE STALKING ME FOR THE DAY, ALL RIGHT?”
THE SQUIRREL LEAVES WHEN IT’S DONE STALKING HIM FOR THE DAY, LEAVING A TRAIL OF PEANUT SHELLS ON THE SILL.
IT’S BACK THE NEXT NIGHT, THOUGH.
AND THE NEXT.
***
FOR REFERENCE, HERE, HAVE SOME SQUIRREL!DEREK BEING ANGRY AND DEFENSIVE AFTER STILES HELPS HIM, BECAUSE ALPHA-SQUIRREL DOESN’T NEED OR WANT ANYONE’S HELP, THANKS:
DUMBASS. JUST LEARN TO TRUST THE BOY WHO LIKES YOU.
this is Peter
ACCURATE. TOTALLY A SQUIRRELLY LEER, RIGHT THERE.
AND TIMID LITTLE ISAAC:
BOYD THE ZEN SQUIRREL
IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER
WOULD SOMEONE LOCATE ERICA, PLS
SHE AND DEREK ARE BFFS OBV
I LIKE THIS VERSION TOO AFLKASJDFAKLDJFD
THEY ARE BFFS B/C ONE TIME, ERICA TRIED TO KISS DEREK ON THE SNOUT
AND DEREK WAS LIKE, “I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE IN MIND”
AND ERICA WAS LIKE, “YOU CAN’T MEAN THAT HUMAN - ”
AND DEREK WAS LIKE, “FOR YOU”
AND ERICA JUST LOOKED AT HIM
AND TAPPED HER FOREPAWS
AND TWITCHED HER TAIL
AND SAID, “YEAH, RIGHT”
AND ERICA HAS BEEN ENDLESSLY AMUSED
BY DEREK
AND DEREK’S ADORABLY DUMB LITTLE INTERSPECIES CRUSH
SINCE THEN
DAMN IT.
Now I want a Robin’s Wife Fairy Tale like story
where Derek wishes himself human
and he’s terrible at it
how do humans walk on two legs all the time? without tails? how do they live so close to the ground? and he goes around being grumpy and eating his food scrunched up really close to his face, and trying to force himself into small spaces while he lurks around and watches Stiles, which doesn’t actually work when you’re a hunking six-foot-tall.
and Stiles is like, this dude is stalking me
I mean he’s attractive
but serial killers are usually charismatic, right, don’t fall into that trap Stilinski
only Derek has this like, chattering group of squirrels who come after him all the time
he’s like Kronk in the Emperor’s New Groove
“Erica, squeaker squeak squeak squeaken!”
AMANDA NOOOO WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOOONE
MY NEED TO SEE FANART FOR THIS HAS JUST BECOME MORE PRESSING THAN MY NEED TO EVER EAT, BREATHE OR URINATE AGAIN
“Erica, squeaker squeak squeak squeaken!”
…I had to. =]
Teen Wolf - SQUIRREL’D by *surrenderdammit
I ACCIDENTALLY SQUIRREL’D STILES. In other news, I’m 21 today! yayz and all that. I have champagne. and access to the internet. it could explain a lot of things. anyway… weresquirrels are totally a thing. that’s happening. in my mind. so… Derek scowls at cute things. he cannot handle it. Stiles’ tail is just too fluffy. Derek finds it offensive. also, nuts everywhere. actual nuts. not just the crazy. I’m stopping now. I haven’t even opened my birthday champagne. this sad night of solitude is not going to end well.
a chibi Sterek with were!Stiles a day: Squirrel!Stiles
squirrelinski, because who can resist
The Proper Squirrelinski Bait. (I’m going to leave it at that because I can’t come up with a good enough drabble to go with it. Although I do know that Derek is rather peeved because he tried every other nut before this.)
Also, for those who may not know, Derek is using a delicious snack called Corn Nuts. It is indeed not a nut but Stiles is as special a squirrel as he is a human.
Derek doesn’t know why this squirrel-boy keeps hanging around him(aren’t they supposed to be natural enemies or something?), but he has to admit…the kid’s grown on him.
Only for fun. I saw some drawing about Stiles as a Squirrel, I didn’t know about this kind of fandom but I started to draw a squirrel and then I remembered some of these pic, so here’s a Squirrel Stiles.
squirrels are little shits
they’re always after your nuts
TAKESHII — “Squirrel Stiles - Teen Wolf
{Wacom Tablet Intuos3, PaintTool Sai: <45 minutes}
All the squirrelinski stuff had me dying of the cuteness so I had to draw something
(His tail shames me I know but oh well)
Scribbled some Squirrelinski for Zim. UwU
Squirrelinski ‘cause I’m in loving this trope :’) The hand was supposed to be Derek’s ;~;
Here you can read my small oneshot about him for saucery <3
(Tale of a Little Nut)
Heeeyyy thereeee.. . . ♥
i found it!!!! cathyworld(.)tumblr(.)com/post/45923292385/jjak-stiles-now-comes-in-pocket-size-please now you could make derek holding little stiles (◕‿◕✿)