ESCAPE

[still-melancholy]

[still-melancholy]

[still-melancholy]

LOST

I can't sleep

I can't stop thinking about you since last time

It's so overwhelming

I'm so lost with all those feelings about you

I don't know what to do with those thoughts

My body, my mind and my soul are shaking

I have so many questions now

Why now ? Why you ?

Why life do this to me?

I thought love at the first sight was a movie thing

A dreamy and unreal thing

And it happened to me just like that

So unexpected

So unpredictable

I don't understand

Do we meet people for a precise reason?

I don't believe in fate

This meeting have to learns me something, maybe

Maybe you shown me I don't leave my life at the fullest

Maybe I jail myself in this relationship

Meeting you makes me want to reset my life

Give up everything

Start a new life

Maybe with you?

But I don't know if it's the right moment

Why now?

I'm so lost

It would be easier if those feelings can pass

I will never forget you

I will never forget the way you make me feel

And I don't want to because it's the most powerful and beautiful thing I never felt in my life

[still-melancholy]

THE SHINE

I remember this shiny guy I met by accident

Be around him made me feel the warm sun on my skin

I felt like a child seeing a rainbow for the first time

His smile and laugh still live in my mind

His heart is so big and tender that it melt mine

His kindness emotionally affected my soul

Like a big bang in my body

And I felt it changed me forever

I felt so peaceful and alive with him

For the first time I felt I was in the right place

How could you forget something so special ?

How could you forget someone so special ?

I remember this shiny guy life get on my pathway

I still don't know why and I can't forget him

[still-melancholy]

Do I have food issues or is this just depression ?

[still-melancholy]

POISON

"What a huge weight

To break the unsaid

I visualize the storm but not the lull

Apprehension is here, heart in turmoil

The anger is suffocating

Gnawing the body and even the bones

Get out of blindness with a dream

Eyes aren't closed anymore

And it has become unbearable

Because reality is now detestable

Disgust from head to toe

Killing me slowly"

04.04.2022

[still-melancholy]

Ce soir là, quelque chose en moi s'est brisé.

Cette nuit là,

J'étais vraiment défoncée.

Je ne me suis jamais sentie autant dans le noir,

Mais ce n'était pas un bad trip ni juste un cauchemar.

J'avais mal.

Je ne pouvais pas bouger.

Je ne pouvais pas parler.

Sidération.

Je suis sortie de moi même.

J'avais l'impression de voir un film à la télé,

Un mauvais film.

Malaise.

Incompréhension.

Les larmes coulaient toute seule, sans bruit.

Mes mains se cramponnaient au coussin dans lequel se cachait mon visage,

Ou au drap,

Je ne sais plus.

Il n'y avait plus d'espace.

Que le néant,

Où je me suis sentie tombée.

Il n'y avait plus que le silence.

Le temps s'est arrêté.

Mon cœur avec.

Le souffle coupé.

Juste l'attente.

Insupportable.

Quand est ce que ça va se finir ?

Puis l'après.

Nausées.

Ta nonchalance.

Choc.

Acouphènes.

Et si tout était dans ma tête ?

Qu'est ce qui est réel ?

Est ce que j'existe ?

Brouillard.

Se sentir sâle.

Vouloir s'arracher la peau.

La poitrine qui se déchire.

L'envie d'hurler jusqu'à la mort.

Envie de vomir tout mon corps.

Le vide.

J'ai pleuré en silence pendant un moment.

J'entendais ta respiration,

Sommeil paisible.

Le lendemain,

Amnésie.

Tout ce qu'il me restait,

Était un sentiment d'étrangeté.

J'avais pourtant dit non, mais..

Cette nuit là,

C'était la première fois que tu me tuais.

[itsconsumingme-deactivated20210]

But yet I am 

[redmist36]

[mangacapsoh]

[prone-to-suicidal-tendencies]

[d3pressedandwelldr3ssed]

I just want to be OK

[nostalgiaishere]

[lost-broken786-deactivated20200]

[the-moon-whisperer]

[still-melancholy]

[especially]