'Serene As A Monster Hunter'
What kind of person you are! Serene, you have a wonderful sense of independence, but are you independent naturally or are you independent because no one was there for you when you needed them? You're anxious in bustling environments, you're anxious of the past and of the future, you're anxious of what you're feeling, so much so that you're not even thinking of how to manage yourself. Which leads to and has led you to awkwardly displaying yourself to the world.
Now, you're also very innovative, you come up with complex ideas due to the constant thinking you do. You're insanely curious and seek out new things, and knowledge! You also have some humanitarian ideals. Which I think is a big reason as to why you let people walk all over you. One you're too worried about what will happen if you say something and two because you don't know if they've had a bad day and just need to let it out. Even if they're letting it out on you. Which is not fair to you, Serene.
But you value other's freedom and other's intellectual explorations, and you are naturally drawn to causes that promote social justice and equality. You're sensitive, empathetic, kind, and nurturing towards others, but never really towards yourself. Maybe because you don't feel like you deserve it or maybe it's because your feelings have no place in your long-term goals and plans.
You're practical, detail-oriented, and planning ahead. Which means, those feelings? They're not planned into your future, so you're just going to squash them or cry alone in your room with no one to comfort you. Because you can handle this ship solo. But Serene, you don't have to. Expression doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you a burden. And most of all it doesn't take away from yourself.
A lot of the lack of care for yourself comes from being a caretaker of others off the bat. You protect everyone around you when you can, like a silent guardian. You've known to care for your siblings since you were young, and you've known to always come to bat for your friends. It's just who you are and what you do to show your love and that you care.
What kind of hunter you are!Serene, you're the hunter whose heart is in the job. You feel and connect with victims in ways that most hunters can't. But how you got into hunting? I believe it'd be tragic. You were just a kid when a monster swept through your home and took your parents and left you behind. Because the monster had the lack of heart to gut your family, but enough heart to keep you alive.
You were taken in by the hunter who found you left behind in your family home, curled up beneath your bed worried that the beast that defiled your house and destroyed your family would return to finish the job. That the beast would finally return to take you.
Hunters don't make great parents. So, the hunter who took you under their wing just taught you to be a hunter and made you keep that 'emotional shit' under wraps. Growing up isolated, different, and shelled up made you anxious and awkward.
Despite that though, when you're in the face of a sniffling child, a mourning mother, or a father who's grieving a loss that was created by the supernatural. You soften, and you give into feeling, to empathize and comfort them. That's as far as you'll go with expression. You'll express your care for others. But you'll never express what's going on inside of your heart and soul. Because to you, you don't deserve to be comforted and treated like a human.
As a huntress, you'd be amazing. I see you working the field very well too. It keeps you and others alive, so every step, every stab, every action is meaningful and powerful. I don't see you sticking with the hunter who raised you though. You crave independence and solitude. People aren't really your thing unless they need you.
Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, and You!Sam and Dean met you while you were working solo. You almost slipped out of their grasp. You seemed less social and more domesticated than the average hunter. But when they walked in on you effectively killing the monster that they were hunting too, then they had some serious questions to ask you.
And they would have gotten straight answers if you weren't so closed off. You were direct but vague as well. You didn't give too much information, out of fear and because your anxiety just, didn't allow you to. And you don't handle confrontation well, it's stressful, you feel like you've done the world's worst thing, and over all you wished to disappear.
Dean's first impression of you was one of confusion. How the hell was a woman as shy as you hunting? I mean, he's seen weirder things, but this almost took the cake. You could barely meet his gaze, and when they questioned you, you were quickly answering but giving minimal details. Dean almost suspected there was something more to you, something that doesn't quite meet the eye. Maybe you were a monster! But the way you killed that monster with skill and precision told a different story. You were a hunter, just a different one.
Sam's first impression of you? He listened, he did the talking, and something about you softened him. You were a hunter who knew what they were doing but still kept their humanity intact. If anything, you only hunted now for humanity. Not just because it was all you knew. You were protective of the innocent lives being targeted. So, when Sam tried prying for information on the monster, you gave him nothing, "They're not worth knowing or remembering.", It was the first strong answer Sam and Dean had gotten. And it showed that you had a backbone hiding behind that insecurity and awkwardness.
Little fun things! Sam had gotten your number after meeting you for the first time, Dean had too, but it was Sam who really reached out. At first connecting with him over the phone was spotty, but after seeing the consistency on his end, you started becoming more open. And a little more curious about what exactly he and his brother do with that big Bunker they have. So curious that Sam invited you to come check the place and what they do for yourself.
Entering the Bunker and seeing how little these two grown men care for themselves was mind boggling for you. They took care of each other or rather tried to keep one another alive. But their laundry was always dirty, dishes were in the sink, it was very rare that they ate homemade meals. And something in you clicked. You didn't meet them and hit the road. You put yourself into the role of caretaker again, and made these giants feel cared for.
Dean loves your baking, and like a serious amount too. He just can't get enough. He's already had to go up a jean size. Sam loves it too, but he restrains himself a little better than Dean does. "Mmph, this.. this is amazing!" Dean's mumbling to you through a mouthful of the homemade pie you made for him. "I could kiss you for this!" Sam gives Dean a questioning look at his last comment, "What? She bakes a mean pie, Sammy."
Sam's noticed how you carry around tiny things and collect them. He noticed it the moment he saw you pull out tiny knickknacks from your pockets. You must've picked them up at that antique shop you three were investigating, but here you were now spilling what you gathered onto the Map Table, sorting through them like a prideful squirrel. Sam's also noticed that Jack even helps you build your collection, but he's not doing it properly. Jack keeps bringing you tiny rocks, acorns, bottle caps, and pinecones. It's cute, and you keep them, but they're not trinkets.
You've selected a table in the library to be your own. You've set it up like a desk. Your laptop is there, so is your research, but other things rest atop the wooden tabletop. Small succulents, little plants, your trinkets, it's an organized clutter that makes sense to you! And it's a spot filled with everything you love. Sam, Dean, Cas, and sometimes Jack, know to keep their paws off of it.
Extra!You and Castiel mirror each other. The awkward standing and the occasional misunderstanding of what someone says is a constant theme between you both. At the Bunker you're a sweetheart, you're a bit more confident, and assertive. But undercover with the boys, you're a spitting image of Castiel. So awkward that it almost is angelic. And you're confused when Dean tells you to go wait in Baby, that he and Sam have the interrogating under control. Because you're a good hunter!
When you don't get your midday nap, Sam and Dean will be in for a very moody you. You're snappier, a little more sarcastic, and very grumpy. But once you get your much needed shut eye, you're back to your normal ole' self. The one who Sam and Dean aren't worried about possibly murdering them.
Dean's hard on Jack, everyone in the Bunker knows it. Usually, you try to ignore Dean being a dick to the poor Nephilim because you don't want to fight him, but one afternoon Dean made a comment that didn't sit right with you, and you lost it. You stood right in front of Jack, arms crossed over your chest, and giving Dean a piece of your mind in front of all of the Team Free Will members. I see you being incredibly motherly to poor Jack. So much so that you can't stand to sit by while Dean makes him feel less than or inferior. Dean's made a note to not say anything to Jack in front of you anymore, or even to Jack at all. Because Jack will just go and tell you anyways.
Sam and you read together quite often. Or you'll sit at the Map Table with Sam and listen to him go on about lore. He's like your own podcast or documentary, and you happen to learn a lot from him. Your chin is propped up on your hand, your eyes are bright and childlike as you learn, and Sam's happy that his knowledge is being put to another good use. One that isn't just for killing monsters. Sam admires your curiosity, it's another thing about you that makes you seem so sweet to him.
It's a challenge for both Sam and Dean to keep you from trying to adopt every stray cat you find. There's a scraggly little tabby cat out back behind the motel you're staying at? Well now Sam and Dean are trying to talk you out of bringing it into the motel to sleep in your bed, "Serene, it might have rabies." Sam sighs softly, "Hell no! I paid for us to stay in this motel, not us and Thomas O'Malley the Alley Cat." Dean scoffs as he crosses his arms over his chest and leans back in his seat.
Overall! Based on everything you shared with me Serene, such as your sun, moon, and rising, your favorite color, some cute little things about yourself, and more. I can say that you're a lovely combination of independence, analytical-thinking, and emotional sensitivity. Those traits have created a unique personality that is innovative, nurturing, and detail oriented.
You're the person who remembers everyone's birthdays and goes out of their way to make them feel special. You think and plan way ahead just so that you're prepared and less anxious, or at least that's the goal, that never actually seems to happen. You're stressed either way unfortunately. And because of your Cancer Moon, you are intuitive, nurturing, empathetic, and sensitive to the people and the world around you.
Now you might see this as a weakness, but that is a strength that not many people can say that they have. Overall, Serene. I think that you're a wonderful combination of strong and sweet.
I think you would be more compatible with Sam, but Dean could work as well. With Dean, he'll work hard to break you out of your shell, he's casual with you and he's not judging you. But he won't make a move because he believes that you're much too good for a guy like him. And in my opinion, Serene. You are. Dean, he'd get you worked open, only to pull away once it all feels too real for him.
He knows you're loyal, he can feel your deep and genuine care, he senses that you're loving him despite all of his flaws, but he doesn't believe that he deserves it one bit. And because of that, he'll leave you high and dry because he thinks it's the best way to keep you safe and relieved of all of his 'baggage'. You deserve more than that, Serene.
With Sam, it's something that is worked into slowly. Sam understands fully how shy you are, and that if he pushes you too hard, you might inch back, and he'll have to start over again. Sam's a lover at heart. You're sweet, genuine, and intelligent, just the right things he likes in a woman. Not to mention how you stand on business for those you love? Perfect wifey and mother material as well.
Sam starts slow. Little brushes with his hand when he hands you stuff, gentle hugs from the big giant when he gets back from a hunt, brushing your hair out of your face when it's bothering you. But it's not just that. Sam goes out of his way to make your life a little bit easier for you, he has coffee already made for you in the morning, he has your space at the table organized, and he makes sure to not hold you back from taking your nap because of having to research.
Love with Sam is thoughtful, he's attentive and considerate. He's the kind of man that makes it impossible for you to feel unsafe while expressing your thoughts and feelings. He nods softly while combing a heavy hand through your hair. while you lay against his chest.
Sam comes undone to you the moment you feel safe enough to bury your face against his broad chest after a long day. You're not crying, but you want to. Your eyes sting, your chest feels tight, and when you go to explain what's wrong to Sam the words get caught in your throat. "Woah, hey.. hey, Serene it's okay." Sam's calmly speaking to you as he ushers you to sit down.
A panic attack is making its way over you. It's completely assaulting your nervous system, and making your breathing uneven, "Breath, Sweetheart." Sam is holding you close and talking you through calming down. He's taking deep breaths with you while he rubs your back and wipes your tears with his fingers.
"You're alright." He kisses your temple softly before resting his chin on your head. "Talk to me, Serene. I love you, and I'm here for you." He gives another gentle kiss to your temple while providing you with the silence needed for you to begin opening up to him.
Sam takes his time with you. Because you deserve to move at your own pace. He knows how special you are, and he wants everything to be just right for you. It's what he knows is best for you. Sam's in this for the long haul, Serene.
I really hope that you like your story, and that it is accurate to you! If not, feel free to let me know! It helps me to grow as a writer. <3
@stillserene
