stomping through the tulips.

Semester in Amsterdam

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Throughout my stay here in Amsterdam so far I have come to realize that I chose the wrong school... I’m here studying at the Universiteit Van Amsterdam when I should be at the Gerrit Rietveld Academie. I am not upset with my decisions because I am enrolled in one studio class at the Rietveld and I am able to use all of the workshop areas as much as I want. But I have realized that the Rietveld is much more like Columbia and what I am used to. It’s funny to hear other students in my program talk about the Rietveld and how strange it is in their way of teaching and thinking, it makes me miss Columbia.

I am glad I am at the UvA for many reason, it has made many aspects and past decisions very clear to me and has made me appreciate my home school, Columbia College Chicago so much more than I ever have or thought I could.

For my studio class, we are required to work on an independent project along side our work and assignments for the actual class. I felt I needed to bring in aspects of my studies at home and do something in the world of Graphic Design. I figured I would take some sketches in my sketchbook and replicate them in a different medium. I talked in great lengths with my teachers Adriel and Carl Johan but was still unsure which direction to go in. They encouraged me to just wander down to the Graphics department and to speak with the staff there for they would know more on the subject than the two of them. Ideally, this is a great idea. Unless you are a transfer student, who doesn’t speak the native language, who has spatial anxiety and is extremely intimidated by every other student who attends this school. - I stood outside the workshop area for about 15 minutes, hyperventilating and debating whether or not I should actually go in. I finally snapped out of it and walked in, and I am so glad I did.

The Rietveld staff in the Graphic department have truly opened their arms to me completely. They have what they call workshop rooms which are where you, as a student, can practice and work on school and personal projects. I have been mainly working in the Graphic and Printing workshop area and making Lithographic prints. They help you step by step, the whole way through but also let you make some mistakes along the way so you learn what you can and can’t do. This system was very new to me, at Columbia you have to at least take one class in that particular field or area to be able to use the machinery and tools. That is not the case here, I had never used or printed on stone before and I was working on them and handling them within the first fifteen minutes of me walking through the door and showing the main guy my ideas. 

After working in the workshop for two days and making prints I got to really talking with the worksop manager, Charel Sytza Folkerstma, he asked if I would make an extra print that would then stay here at the Rietveld and would become part of the Gerrit Rietveld Academie, Graphic Design, Lithography Archive! My first thought was, this guy has to be joking, there is no way this little print is good enough for the Rietveld let alone become archived. But, he indeed was not joking with me and was in fact very serious!

After I’m done experimenting with lithography I am thinking about moving on to a different medium maybe wood cuts, or linoleum cuts. But who knows, I’m just going to keep exploring and taking advantage of what’s available for me to use!

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An overwhelming adventure.

This historical city sucked me in and spat me out like chewing gum. I have never been more mentally or physically exhausted after visiting another country, than I felt after Berlin. Don’t get me wrong, the city was beautiful and despite the many historical conflicts and background Berliners are actually very nice people!

The first day we were there was a bust, everything we tried to do failed miserably, and the terrible weather didn’t help much either. But after that we really kicked our butts into gear and began to really take in the many wonders of the extremely large city. We went and saw Checkpoint Charlie, the remains of the Berlin Wall, the Jewish museum and the Brandenburg Gate! It was all so beautiful, my body was in an intense state of euphoria throughout the entire day. Hopping from one land mark to the next.

This trip I admit was a roller coaster but we managed to make the best of it. Phoebe and I the only vegetarians of the group made it a point to hit up as many well known restaurants for vegetarians as possible. We even had vegan bratwurst in curryworst sauce! It was unreal. Actually, too real. It tasted exactly as I would image bratwurst to taste and freaked me out a bit. It was very interesting and surprisingly very good!

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Making connections. Making friends. Making connections. Making friends. 

Making friends, while making connections!

I am enrolled in a class called Gender and Sexuality: In the Context of Amsterdam here at the University of Amsterdam. It is more of an independent research class than a lecture or learning class, for we have a 20-25 page research paper that we have been preparing and working on throughout the semester. This class is fascinating to me. It’s an entirely different world that I have ever been exposed to. I have always had close friends who are gay and even some family members, but many of our discussion topics and the subject matter that our guest speakers talk to us about, truly blows my mind. The fact that they are comfortable talking to a room full of college students, astonishes me. Almost, every class I am more and more taken aback by what we get into and the conversations it sparks. We have been to a transgender clinic, had a transgender come and speak with us. We even went to Rutgers in Utrecht (not in NJ) and a gentleman spoke to us about how sex education is taught in primary and secondary schools in the Netherlands. It is very interesting to hear how they teach students compared to the US and how they mainly enforce abstinence. Here in the Netherlands they start their sexual education as young as 4 years old!

For my research paper I have decided to do it on feminism in the context of Amsterdam. More and more over the past year or so I have come to defining myself as a feminist. Now, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I am rioting and protesting every second of every day, but I do believe in equality and I find it fascinating to talk amongst other feminists. I think this change started to develop with activism and supporting various non-profit organizations. There is something so meaningful and powerful when a group of people come together and fight for social issues.

Within the requirements for the paper, we are instructed to conduct interviews and really get a feel for our topic and what it is that we are researching. I had the opportunity to interview Gloria Williams, a beautiful and strong woman. She is from Brooklyn, NY, USA and is now living here in Amsterdam. I first met Gloria when she was performing a few of her spoken word pieces and poetry at Studio K. I attended this performance called Mind the Gap for a friend that I have met here, Valerie. Valerie is another strong woman, who is doing wonders and really taking advantage of anything and everything she can possibly get her hands on. She has recently just won a contest to perform here in Amsterdam in June at a Student Festival!

After meeting Gloria and hearing her speak I knew I need to meet with her again. I decided to do my interview for my Gender and Sexuality class on her and her past experiences both here in Amsterdam as well as in NY.  The interview went great, surprisingly I wasn’t nervous at all, my body was filled with anticipation and excitement on being able to pick her brain and dig deeper into the world of feminism. 

After the interview I was in an academic high, in all my years of attending school I have never felt the urge to write or do research on a topic even if it was one that I chose myself. Gloria truly inspired me to not only seize this opportunity to become involved in a community here in Amsterdam but to take advantage of everything and anything that comes my way.

“Fight for what you want to see, fight for what you believe in, fight for those who can’t fight. Fight for your rights. It is so important as a woman to have a stand, and to take action. It’s really the only way you will see results.” - Gloria Williams

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Frankfurt, Germany was amazing! I needed this break from Amsterdam and to get away for a bit. I was very nervous to travel alone but in a way it was comforting. It pushed me to step out of my boundary and explore a new city alone. I have to admit, I studied the map and section in my Germany guide book pretty well though! But the immense amount of energy mixed with extreme fear and excitement took over my body completely once I departed my ACE (high-speed) train and stepped into the bustling city. I became a bit overwhelmed but soon found comfort in the many shopping stores around me. I walked in a few and relaxed a bit before wandering down the ‘Zen’. I found a nice outside patio-seating restaurant, sat for a while and planned my route to find the Museum of Modern Art. I still managed to get a little lost, and had to ask for directions. I decided to ask these two girls, who looked to be my age, for directions they unfortunately didn't speak much English and told me to go left when I needed to go right...good thing they pointed and used hand signals!

So, on my way in finding the Museum I walked down this very historic street called the ‘Rambler’. This tiny street was beautiful, I wandered upon the Cathedral and other churches and old building ruins. -This was my favorite section of the city; a small area of the historic past in the midst of a very modern city. 

I finally made it to the Modern museum and was so relieved! Inside I saw so many Warhol’s and Lichtenstein's and the works of Douglas Gordon. I spent almost 2 hours there! After that I made my way back and went to The Main Tower. It was very much like the Sears Tower in Chicago where you can go to the observatory and see the view from every angle. I wanted to go down to the restaurant and have a drink and just sit for a bit after walking so much, but just my luck… It was closed due to renovation. 

My next battle to overcome was to indeed figured out my way to get to Liz's little town. Which I did, and made all the correct transfers! Once I arrived, Liz, Colin and the two dogs (a large male black lab and a tiny female black pug haha total opposites!) met me at the station. 

It was nice to visit and see some familiar faces!

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As I lay here in my bed, anticipating my big day tomorrow I can’t help but to think over and over how I am young but not a little girl anymore. I am living in Amsterdam and about to travel to Frankfurt, Germany completely by myself. This frightens me. I sent my father an email a few hours earlier and I felt myself typing over and over “I will be okay.” “I will be safe.” “I will stay in crowed areas and not venture off in some sketchy ally way, even if they have some cool street art painted.” When rereading the email before I sent it I began to realize that I wasn’t just reassuring him, I was doing it for myself as well. 

I am very blessed to have two loving, caring and awesome parents who allow me to explore and have never held me back from what I feel I ‘need’ to do. When talking to others who are my age I have come to realize that my parents have always provided me with such lavish travel experiences and for this I will be forever grateful. If it wasn’t for them, I would not have the courage to board my train tomorrow morning.

I know I don’t say it as much as I should but, thank you mom and dad. You guys are the best and have provided me with more then I could have ever imagine.

Although, I will still never forgive you guys for not allowing me to take ballet lessons when I was younger!

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This entry is long overdue, but something inside of me wasn’t able to write this entry. Being here in Amsterdam has made me question everything I do, say, and think. I think it would be accurate in saying that I have been doing a lot of inner exploring and self-evaluation while I have been here so far. I have recently in the past few months revisited an old hobby of mine. I stopped drawing and painting after my senior year, there was something inside me that just couldn’t do it anymore. I slowly started moving into painting but there was still something holding me back from picking up my old sketch pad. On my first day of my studio class at the Gerrit Rietveld Academie, we had to go around and state our artistic history and what our background of classes was. I was nervous to state that I was indeed a fine arts major at one point (although, not very long) due to the fact that I didn’t want the expectation of what I would produce to be higher than the rest of the class. So, naturally I began stating everything I used to hate about drawing. How monotonous and emotionless my work became, how something changed inside of me and drawing became a chore. I guess I would say that I stopped drawing, when I stopped having assignments to draw. I used to beg and plead with my drawing teacher to let me ‘“do what I wanted” or to draw something more personal and that I could relate to, but when the time came my mind was suddenly blank. As if I couldn’t think or imagine one item or scene that I felt strongly enough about to care to draw. - It was at this point that I realized I couldn’t be a fine arts major, I destroyed my hobby. 

With that said, when I began my process of applying for classes here in Amsterdam I saw that I would have the opportunity to take a beginners course in ‘Art’. We would cover many aspect and experiment in many mediums. After I decided I would take on this challenge of going back to the fine arts, I found myself questioning if I made the right decision. - Was I really able to overcome my inner challenge and pick up a pencil? And do I really want to do it during my short stay in the Netherlands? The answer to this is obviously: yes, yes I do. As I read more and more about Amsterdam and the culture and environment I couldn't think of a better place to revisit my past and begin again. Amsterdam is filled with museums and galleries and thrives off the people and tourists who come and visit the abundance of master collections. I began to realize that the list of museums I ‘needed’ to visit began to outnumber any other list I had made prior to my arrival.

I am loving my time here and I try to go to at least one museum or gallery a week. There and so many and I know that even with this goal, I will still never be able to go to all of them. -I’ve also been to some twice! Most times I find that my experiences each time are complexly different.

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Amsterdam, my new home! It’s been a while since I have last blogged and figured I would create a new blog dedicated entirely to my trips and adventures studying abroad this semester.

Three weeks have passed so far and I have a long list of thing of embarrassing things that I have been happening to my on a daily basis. I try so hard to not look like an American tourist, but the harder I try the more I stick out. I often find myself pretending to be dutch, take for example if I am in the grocery store.  If someone comes up to me and starts talking, I usually just smile and nod my head as if I know exactly what they are talking about and hoping that they aren’t asking me a question like if I can help them find the milk. The Dutch language isn’t difficult to understand if it is written down and right smack in front of my eyes, but once they start talking it’s a whole different story! They might as well be speaking in tongue!

The Dutch are known for their cycles. This sounds like fun and when most people come here it’s something they look forward to. Biking around the canals hopping from one museum to the next and becoming in tune with the city. I for one knew it was a set up for total and complete humiliation. I postponed my purchase of a bike for a few days but I realized that taking the tram around the city is not ideal, it is expensive and it stops running at midnight. So, I finally gave in an got a bicycle. I prepared myself all day for this because I knew it would not run smoothly (no pun intended). And I was right. Within the first 25 minutes, the time it took me to get from the bike shop to my apartment, I ran into a grand total of 3 curbs, a persons, and cut at least 4 fellow cyclist off. Oh, and also manages hit a parked car. Whoops! --It’s all fun and games until someone hits a parked car.

Aside from not being able to operate my bicycle (which I soon came to realize that I had been riding around for almost a week, with a flat tire and a broken front light). I have gotten better at navigating the small cobble streets and canals. Although, I think my favorite place so far, that I frequent often is the Windmill Brewery or in dutch Brouwerij! It’s located right around the corner from where I am staying and aside from the extremely humid, stale air that hits you smack in the face as soon as you walk in the door. It’s a cozy and friendly envirnment. Filled with local Amesterdamers from near by neighborhoods, who all of course know one another and are always looking for a good time! --I dont’t think I have done anything too embarrassing here yet, but give me time! It’s only been three weeks! (The picture at the top of this entry is the Windmill Brewery)

All in all, I am having truly enjoying myself here! I may sounds like I am just waiting for myself to mess up again and do something embarrassing. But, that’s because I am! Creating memories based on humiliation is key and I plan on continuing for my entire stay in the Netherlands.