pike-everheart:
Pike heard the word “fucker,” and knew that voice and word would be burned into her memory forever.Â
She could hear the crash, and turned around for a brief moment to see the blood and bike atop the small girl. A loud sob broke from Pike and she felt sick. If adrenaline and her desire to live weren’t in play, she probably would’ve puked on the spot.
She accelerated on the bike, praying she would make it to the gap in time.
She couldn’t breath. The bike squashed down on her chest cutting into her skin. Her fingers were starting to feel numb as she stared after the shadow of the girl a sob got caught in her throat. Her vision got blurry: “This is not fair. This is so not fair.” What did that girl have that she didn’t? Hiccups shook her body as she crouched together fresh blood staining her hands. Hands reaching up to wipe her cheeks her gaze got caught on the crimson colour, the smell filling her nostrils all at once. She was going to die. She was going to die and she would never get home or see her mother again. She was actually going to die. The pain blinded her nerves, shooting through her veins, pumping through her ears. Her heart throbbed harshly against her ribcage and she couldn’t help but wonder for how much longer it would. The pain was becoming unbearable; it made her hands quiver and limbs shake. As she crouched around the bike that was slowly crushing her she reached into the pockets of her sweater shaking fingers pulling out the letter her mother had written her. The paper was dry and tear stains littered it, but at that moment she didn’t care. She cradled it close to her chest as if the words on it could make time stop- as if it could stop the inevitable. As tears rolled down her cheeks she pressed it as close to her skin as possible hoping that it could somehow get her out of it- somehow get her away from all of this where she could live happily for the rest of her life. “Mommy-“Her lips quivered as she spoke up quietly and yet- somehow knew that the words would be carried on by a camera. „I love you-“her voice broke halfway through the words choking on blood. “I love you so much.” It didn’t matter that she had lied to her all of her life, it didn’t matter that she hadn’t told her who her father was until it was too late. All of that didn’t matter. Now she just really wanted to be back in her mother’s arms and feel safe for the first time in days. The sound of the arena behind her dissolving made her heart clench in fear shivers running down her back and cold sweat breaking out on her forehead. The blood seemed to drain out of her face as she tried one last time to get the bike off of her, but instead only managed to drain herself of her last energy. This was truly it. The words kept repeating themselves in her head over and over again. She would die and she wouldn’t even get real time to spend with her father a man she had wasted so many years on hating. A man who had showed her such kindness, a man who had taken the news of her immediately and helped her, but maybe. Maybe it was for the best. He hadn’t showed any interest in her once she was in the arena, not a single gift, not a single note- nothing. He probably didn’t even want her to get out. She meant too much trouble. Too much pain. It was all she ever meant. No one ever did stay with her for long. No one she had ever met, her friends didn’t, the people she didn’t consider real friends didn’t.  And he didn’t either. Was never going to. He had his own family to take care of. He didn’t need her as well.  No one did. Her breathing became quicker, thoughts running wild in her head; her palms became sweaty as she started hiccupping and sobbing. Come home for River River needs you to win. This couldn’t be true; it had to be a lie. He didn’t want her, never did. He must have lied to her. “I get it.” She shouldn’t have made herself believe it. It had been too good to be true. And now she was going to die. “There was no space for me. I really get it. You gotta keep your family together and I- I just wished I could have been a part of it, but I get it. I would have ruined everything anyway.” She felt like she was choking, breathing got harder; tears making her vision go blurry. Her chest felt like it was bursting as she strained to fill her lungs with air. She should have never even told him. He was happy before she came along, he would be once she was gone. She was just a small nuisance in his happy live. A live where she had been given the smallest flicker of hope for the briefest of time that she could have a place in it. Where she could have people she actually liked and that would stay with her. Where she could have her mom and her dad and for once be normal. Not the weird kid that bosses everyone around and that had not father. “It’s for the better. It just wasn’t meant to be.” She was not supposed to have that kind of live and she should have known. Merle glanced around eyes wide in terror as she kept watching how the world around her slowly dissolves. “Mommy I’m scared….” She managed to coax out blood once again curdling in her throat, but she could barely see anymore. Her fingers were still trembling, voice still shaking as her eyes fell closed tears continuing to flow down her cheeks: “Sun goes down and we are here together Fireflies glow like a thousand charms…” She started singing to herself voice quiet and airily as the noise barely made it past her lip. It was a lullaby her mother had used to sing for her, but she had started to pretend to had outgrown it a long time ago. “Stay with me and you can dream forever Right here in my arms tonight Sounds of day fade away Stars begin to climb Melodies fill the breeze” The words had something soothing s Merle curled up as much as she could arms wrapped around herself. With her eyes closed she could pretend. Pretend that she was at home with her mother. Pretend that this was all nothing but a nightmare. That she was still loved. “Sweeter all the time Sun goes down and we are here together always with you, whether near or far Fireflies glow like a thousand charms How sweet to hold you Stay with me and you can dream forever Right here in my arms tonight” As the last words left her lips Merle was left a sobbing mess unable to register anything that was happening around her. She didn’t notice the left of the arena vanishing, didn’t hear the last canons sounding through the night. All she knew that she was going to die, to vanish of the face of earth just like the arena. And that it was good that way. That she had never mattered anyway. The last thing she remembered was the fall, the falling, the feeling as if she could fly. And then- how it stopped.
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