* ´ &. pragerstrasse / 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐲.
the space between germany and the whole continent america is located on wasn’t very small , hasn’t gotten smaller ever since nora has known theo , and definitely isn’t planning to diminish the tons and tons of ocean water between the two shores in the recent future - not unless some natural disaster strikes , which nora rather not see , no matter how selfish she might be in every other regard . she has never even dwelled much on that space , so much untouched sea and land between two places and two people , until theo came into her life , until nora began to care about someone else besides herself and her reluctant admission to give a sliver of a shit about her team by proxy . while theo and her visited each other ( mostly theo coming here , since she had it easier with taking time off than nora with her work ) , it always felt more and more like stolen hours and puzzle pieces only fitting together just so , more and more showing nora how the hassle of long distance is making her grow wary . watching theo pack her suitcase is making her …. hurt , in a sense of the word that nora hasn’t known before . she isn’t surprised when theo talks to her , the two of them having become experts at knowing each other’s telltales , presence , sometimes even thoughts and moods . nora never had that with anyone else before , couldn’t imagine wanting it with anyone else either . leaning against the door , she can’t help the curt smile on her face . “ well , you’re the cool aunt . i get that your niece would want to be like you . and i’m sure allie’s gonna love them , they look - great . ” talking about their families - theo’s family - is as second nature now as feeling her breathe . “ do i ever say that your family doesn’t deserve you? i mean , not your niece , but generally - your siblings , all that . ”
even without needing to touch her , theo can sense the unease in the air between them. they would share so many wonderful days when she’s here , so many amazing evenings of laughter & wine & all the slivers of a domestic life she’d only ever dreamed of , only to come to the day before her departure , where they’d both be quiet , & perhaps a little distant. it does hurt —— it hurts to leave , it hurts to be so far way , & the pain isn’t getting any easier the longer this goes on , the deeper that theo feels herself fall. she loves nora , loves everything from her kindness , stubbornness & her mischievous little smile & she can’t keep kidding herself that she could keep going on like this , she can't. if she wants things to change , she knows what she has to do , what she has to say , but the words die in her throat before she can manage to spit them out , unable to form them properly & perhaps , a little afraid of the reaction that nora might have. they’ve been together for a while now & have expressed their love for one another in small , meaningful ways , but saying it ? saying she wants to move in with her ? that was a huge step —— it made it all too real.
❝ cool , huh ? i guess i am pretty cool ... is that why you keep me around ? ❞ theo replies back , trying not to let the awkwardness that hung in the air overpower their final evening. slowly , she turns to approach her girlfriend with a tired grin , close enough to get a good view of that annoyingly cute smile of hers , though not enough to touch. she isn’t wearing her gloves —— she’s not prepared to feel what nora may be feeling. ❝ you’re sweet , ❞ she starts , arms crossed over her chest. ❝ my siblings ... they’re good people , they just have a pile of issues to deal with ... we all do. we just handled our shit differently growing up & some of us came out better than others. ❞ theo sighs , her thoughts drifting off to nell , to luke ... ❝ it’ll be good to see allie & everyone , but ... i’m not looking forward to going back to that house. ❞ eye contact is broken as theo begins making her slow approach at the subject that’s been plaguing her for ages now , taking a deep breath before moving forward. ❝ i’m thankful for shirley & what she’s done for me , but that place is getting too crowded for me. i think ... i need to start looking for somewhere else to stay. somewhere maybe ... already familiar. ❞ the fear in her heart begins to rise as she makes eye contact with nora once again , hoping that she isn’t throwing their perfect relationship away with this suggestion. if she were to ever lose nora , she doesn’t know how she’d cope. ❝ you know of any places ? ❞
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