barry has to laugh a little in response , shoulders shrugging a bit before taking another sip of his own beer , the cold , bitter taste a welcome feeling from such a busy & tiring day. god , what would he do without aria to talk to ? no way could he endure having to deal with fuches , the chechens & the acting class all in one go. in a way , aria helps him —— keeps him sane while also entertaining him with how well she seems to handle herself with the chechens. it’s not all so surprising , considering goran’s men are all a bunch of incompetent morons , but it’s still so rad to see. barry really likes aria —— thinks she’s kind of awesome & maybe a little amazing too , but again , he knows he has to keep his guard up a little , unable to give in to this friendship completely due to their opposing sides & the current situation he & fuches find themselves in thanks to that ryan madison fuck up ( not his fault of course , though goran would think differently. ) if he had an option , he’d would go into this completely —— share every bit of himself as he’s slowly begun to do with the acting class , tell aria a little more about himself , maybe even dive into his past. but for now , he’d just enjoy these moments she allows for them to have , happy to just be around another person that wasn’t his usual circle.
❝ you know , i went to a bar a few days ago with a bunch of other people from ryan’s acting class. ❞ the memory of that night remains so vivid in his head , smiling a little as his hands wrap around the bottle of beer , the cold sting of the glass soothing against calloused palms. ❝ that was the first time i’ve been out in almost a year. i do these hits & i just … don’t have energy for anything else. this really weird sad feeling keeps weighing me down —— controlling the way i feel & do things. i wasn’t always like this , but it’s been more consistent ever since i came back. ❞ his smile turns a little apologetic , almost sorry for getting so deep with her in what was supposed to be just a relaxed friendly outing. ❝ sometimes … i know this is kinda weird , but sometimes i don’t think i am back. like , physically i am , but my mind ? my emotions & stuff —— everything has changed so much. ❞ with a sigh , barry shakes his head , ready to move on from the sudden change in topic. ❝ sorry , i’m just rambling. it’s kinda easy to ramble with you , i guess. haven’t really had someone to talk to in a while. you’re the first one that’s actually stuck around & listened. ❞
despite the fact that she’s still fairly young, aria’s been around the block plenty of times in her surprisingly eccentric career. she’s seen what it does to people, felt what it’s done to her, although she bears it better than most, but instead of taking comfort in that, she tends instead to wonder what might be wrong with her, that it doesn’t bother her nearly as much as it should, all things considered. she’s almost always rejected the idea of black and white morality ; to be plain, life isn’t that simple, and while she certainly keeps her own basic moral code, she has a difficult time blaming others for at least some of the things they do. ( for instance, she cannot forgive abject cruelty for the sake of it, but she also understands that life can throw circumstances at a person which call for certain necessities. ) barry’s a man who carries the weight of the world on his shoulders and aria can sense it intrinsically - but she supposes that makes sense, all things considered. she knows perfectly well what he does, because it’s exactly what she does, and she knows well the heaviness with which it comes, although hers is certainly different than a soldier’s.
❛ I don’t think it’s weird at all, ❜ she says, almost casually, although there’s a keen sharpness behind her eyes as she watches him. flipping open her zippo, she lights the cigarette she’s slipped between her lips, gaze not leaving him as she does so. ❛ I mean, there’s gotta be a reason you still do this, right? I know there’s a reason I do. ❜ how seriously she wants to talk about that is another story entirely, but she finds she hardly minds at least the mention. leaning back in her chair, she turns her head to the side, finally breaking eye contact to exhale a thin line of smoke from her pursed lips. ❛ I was stuck in that place, too, for a while. not the same as combat, but I had my share of shit. ❜ that’s probably putting it mildly, but now’s not the moment to elaborate. ❛ it’s a ... it’s a tough cycle, you know? even harder to break. but it’s possible, I think. I mean, make no mistake, this job is not all I have going for me ; I learned that lesson the hard way. it’s hard to scrape up the energy to take your life back. ❜ she taps the ash off the end of her cigarette and takes another swig. ❛ so what’s the deal with this acting class? I know it was part of a job but seems like you’re enjoying yourself. ❜
2087
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
ellievsbear
prguitarman
discoholicmusic