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77k+ follow all things gay, naturist and “eye catching”
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The Art of Submission
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it is to be a sub, a fag, a boy, a slave, in relation to a Dom, Alpha, Sir, Master. What is Dominance/submission? How is it defined? I recently started mentoring a young sub, and this is something I need to help him understand.
The Axioms of Dominance/submission
There are some essential truisms at the heart of Dominance/submission, lets call them Axioms of Dominance/submission:
1. The pleasure of the Dom is paramount
The Doms pleasure is the subs purpose. The sub selflessly, and without judgement, serves the Doms pleasure in every aspect of the Doms life, sex, and well-being.
Related Posts: Features of Dominant Pleasure, Forms of Dominant Pleasure
2. The Dom is in control of his pleasure
Who will serve Him
When he gets served
Where he gets served
How he gets served
What equipment he uses to control the sub (i.e. bondage)
3. The subs purpose is the pleasure of the Dom
The subs focus is always on the Doms pleasure, never his own
The sub only feels pleasure through the pleasure of the Dom
The sub may endure physical and mental pain and discomfort giving pleasure to the Dom
The Equivelance Principle of Dominance/submission
Dominance/submission work as a single indivisible whole. Dominance can only exist with submission, and submission can only exist with Dominance.
The Dom is Superior, the sub inferior
The Dom is controlling, the sub is controlled
The Dom is penetrating, the sub is penetrated
The Dom gives, the sub receives
The Dom whips, the sub takes the pain
Etc
In hierarchical terms the Dom is above the sub, but there is a fundamental Equivalence Principle of Dominance/submission. One that states that Dominance and submission are regarded equally in the indivisible whole. Both Dominance and submission are equally valued, respected, and commended.
There must be balance between the Dominance and submission. The level of Dominance must be balanced by the level of submission otherwise the D/s relationship will not work. And the sub should never feel shame in submission, even when humiliated and degraded by the Dom. The Dom respects, values, and commends the sub for what he is, as much as the sub respects, values, and commends the Dom.
Limits of Submission
Although the Dom is limitless in his pursuit of pleasure and his control of how he gets it (subject to the law and his personal situation). The sub often has limits to how he serves his Dom. These limits can be social and/or service based.
The sub is only human, he must prioritise his submission to the Dom alongside earning money, relationships outside D/s, spousal relationships, hobbies/sports, parents, etc. These are social limits. Many of these will take priority over service to the Dom at some time or another. The sub must work to be creative in freeing up time for serving his Dom.
The sub also has service limits. Things the sub will not do in the service of his Dom. A subs limits are based on fear, disgust, or self-preservation. The Dom has a right to push those limits in the pursuit of his pleasure, and the sub must accept that to be good. A good Dom will respect these limits, and gently and carefully push them, but never disregard them. And always seek feedback from his sub.
The Doms demands for pleasure must be balanced with the subs ability to service them. It is a balance that both Dom and sub must work to achieve.
Trust
Trust between the Dom and sub is possibly the most important component of Dominance/submission. The trust flows both ways and must always be balanced.
Both Dom and sub must be open and honest with each other in order to grow and improve, thus maximising the pleasure and satisfaction achieved. The Dom must give honest feedback to the sub regarding the subs service. The sub must be honest about how he is feeling with respect to his service of the Dom.
The sub must trust the Dom to respect his limits, and to push those limits appropriately, in order to help the sub develop in his submission.
The Dom must trust the sub to work for his pleasure, well-being, and happiness, and never harm the Dom in any way.
Both Dom and sub should agree to NEVER lie to tell half-truths to the other! The loss of trust inevitably will end a D/s relationship.
The Art of Submission: Tenets and Virtues
Submission is an art. One that a sub works throughout his life to master. The Dom helps train the sub by controlling the sub to gain maximum pleasure from himself. It is the duty of the sub to learn from the Dom, his sub mentors, and life in general in order to master the art of submission. As much as it is the duty of the Dom to master the art of Dominance. The sub must work to improve his skills and abilities, experiment and improve his techniques, allow his limits to be slowly pushed, learn to serve in new and creative ways, and become the eye candy that maximizes the Doms desire. The sub must judge the responses of the Dom and correct himself accordingly to constantly improve.
The art of submission has 3 tenets, each with virtues. These are the dimensions that the sub strives to perfect.
1. Submitting to Dominance
Submitting to Service - Obedience to the Dom, sexual service, domestic service, and all service in its various forms
Submitting to Pain - Submitting to the pain of the Dom in all its various forms.
Submitting to Humiliation - Submitting to humiliation and degradation inflicted by the Dom in all its various forms.
Submitting to Bondage - Submitting to physical restraint and controls, bondage in all its various forms.
2. Conditioning for Submission
Fitness - Keeping the body fit, keeping the body supple, and maintaining good mental health enables the sub to better serve the Dom, and look good doing it.
Grooming - Personal grooming, sexually attractive attire, and general style help the sub look his best for the Dom, maximizing the Doms pleasure.
Cleanliness - Personal hygiene and high cleanliness standards, both for play and in general, enable the sub to please the Dom without distraction or mishap.
3. Growth of Submission
Skill Development - Improving the skills, techniques, and abilities the sub needs to better serve the Dom (e.g. cock sucking, nipple play, etc).
Limit Extension - Extend and push limits of submission ever further to enable a more diverse service for the Dom.
Sub Spirit - By learning and understanding the philosophy of submission the sub grows his sub spirit such that he may better serve his Dom. (Posts relating the the Spirituality of Submission can be found here).
Each sub has my natural strengths and weaknesses in each of these 3 tenets and 10 virtues. A Dom has his own preferences and requirements for his sub. To achieve perfection The sub must master each virtue and hence master the art of submission.
TIPS for training a pussyboy
Are you a Total Top? Do you want your boy to become fully passive pussyboy and completely dependent on his hole for all orgasms and sexual pleasure? Then you need to train him to think of his ass as a fully functional pussy. The advice below does not apply to versatile couples, only to those interested in a Total Top/pussyboy type arrangement.
Tips for training a pussyboy:
1. Discourage use of his cock. Every time he uses his cock he is experiencing pleasure as a Top, is neglecting his pussy and learning to get off with his cock instead of his hole. If you aren’t into the whole BDSM and chastity scene, encourage him to hold back from masturbating with his dick, and encourage him to finger himself instead. If you are in bed together and he is trying to wank, push his hands away from his cock so he gets used to sexual pleasure without associating it with cock pleasure. When you fuck him make sure he is focused on the sensations his pussy is giving him by not allowing him to wank during sex - fuck him in a position that is difficult for him to do so such as face down on the bed. Buy him jocks so that his cock is hidden away and minimised but his pussy and ass is on display and have sex while he wears these so he learns that his cock is not necessary for good sex. Very controversially, and only if this fits with the type of relationship you have, encourage the boy to feel naughty if he touches his dick, but reward him for playing with his pussy. If he has a small dick, or if it is smaller than yours, remind him how small it is compared to your cock, and encourage him to think that his cock is small because it is only meant to pee and not to fuck. Fucking is reserved for Men/Daddies/Tops with Real Cocks, not for a boy and his little nubbin. If he is caught touching his dick, act disappointed, so he feels shame when he touches himself there. Of course if you are in a BDSM relationship then there are many options available to you to reinforce this notion that boy touching his nubbin is bad - whether through chastity or punishment. The idea is to encourage negative feelings towards his cock and achieving orgasm in a conventionally ‘male’ way.
2. Make him feel good about his pussy. All boys are naturally self conscious and worried about what their Daddy/Top thinks about them. By telling him how beautiful and delicious his pussy is, and letting him know how much you love it as often as you can, he will gain confidence in his pussy and be much more comfortable in showing it off and using it. Reinforce behaviour which glorifies his pussy and puts it at the forefront of his sexual pleasure and identity. Much like you are trying to promote a feeling of the forbidden and negative towards his cock in tip 1, here you are trying to promote feelings of desirability and positivity surrounding his pussy and being a pussyboy.
3. Give him pleasure through his pussy. If you want him to be a true bottom and love it, you need to make sure he is feeling satisfied enough anally to forget about his dick. Casually grab his ass cheeks, rub his hole when kissing, play with it during foreplay and ignore his cock completely. As covered in previous posts, REAL MEN EAT PUSSY. If you truly love boy pussy then you will lick, suck and eat it out and make him moan like a bitch on heat and beg for your cock. Rub it. Play with it. Give him pleasure through it, and when you do come round to fucking it, make sure you drive him wild through the fuck and aim to give him an anal orgasm if possible. When he does have an anal orgasm, kiss him, congratulate him, make him feel proud for being a good bottom. Remember that especially for a young boy to ignore his cock and try to experience pleasure through his pussy alone is a VERY difficult task. That means that as a Top you need to be up to the task of giving him the satisfaction necessary for him to feel that it is worth all the trouble and denial he is going through.
4. Combat his shame. A lot of pussyboys may feel shame for many reasons. They may feel shame for being gay, or that they are not very masculine compared to other boys/Men. They may worry about what people think about them. Even if they come to terms with being gay and being less masculine, they may still feel bad about being exclusively passive pussyboys because let’s face it, Tops get a lot more respect than bottoms both from gays and straights. In order for your boy to truly feel comfortable in his own skin and identity as a fully 100% passive pussyboy and completely give himself to you, and by extension accept you as his 100% active long-term partner, you need to not only encourage that behaviour, but let him know that being a pussyboy is OK and anyone who disagrees can go fuck themselves. An important way to do this is to reinforce the message that you are his Man/Daddy and you will keep him safe and protect him from what any haters may say or think. Show him your love and affection as well as your dominance.
If you follow the above with a boy who is willing and wants to be trained then you may well end up in the Yin and Yang type relationship so many people idolise. Man and pussyboy the same as Man and wife. Opposites which fit together perfectly to make a whole.
Can I get an amen? 🙏
He always thought of himself as manly in spite of his size. Just took a real man to show him his place.
Get those lips on dads nips, boy
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