Strangeness and Charm

I eat music for breakfast (from Lisbon) window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'UA-23198935-1'); window.dataLayer = window.dataLayer || []; function gtag(){dataLayer.push(arguments);} gtag('js', new Date()); gtag('config', 'G-E570FFELFK');

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“When does a war end? When can I say your name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?”

— Ocean Vuong, On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous

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“in this home that is not our home, we have mutually exiled each other. i walk down your street in the rain, and i do not call you. i walk in the opposite direction of where i know to find you. that we do not speak is louder than bombs.

there are times that missing you is a matter of procedure. now is not one of those times. there are times when missing you hurts. so it comes to this, vying for geography. there is a prayer stuck in my throat. douse me in gasoline, my love, and strike a match. let’s see this prayer ignite to high heaven.”

[ruipc-deactivated20181230]

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King Princess // Talia

[douleurexquis-e]

[nationallyrics]

“I had only one thing to do and I couldn’t do it yet.”

— The National (You Had Your Soul with You)

[thegoodvybe]

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“Night is memory.”

— Lupe Gómez, tr. by Erin Mouré, from Camouflage: Poems; “There At That Baptism,”

[ponderingcomplications]

And sometimes recovery doesn’t look like medications or therapy appointments or healing wounds and fading scars.

Sometimes it looks like wearing a seatbelt when driving a car

or hesitating before you cross the street.

It looks like breakfast when you remember to eat and by god, it’s okay if it has to be something sweet. (Chocolate chip muffins are my favorite treat.)

Sometimes recovery looks like remembering to shower even when the midnight hour is telling you it is too late,

and sometimes it looks like leaving at half past eight when your school or job started at seven.

Sometimes recovery looks more like hell than heaven but oh, there is brilliance in the way it shines,

it is more human and broken and less divine, but it is no less beautiful. (And I promise you it takes my breath away.)

Sometimes recovery is choosing to stay even after you’ve decided to leave, sometimes recovery is less joy, more grief, sometimes it’s agony, sometimes it’s relief,

and messy, by god is it messy.

But it is recovery.

And if all I can do is remind you that all recovery does not look the same,

And that you do not bear the blame if yours takes longer than others.

(Because there is no timeline to recover all that matters is that you just don’t give in.)

If you just let yourself stand again you will have already won the war, because recovery is deciding that you are worth fighting for

and you are, dearheart, you are.

Sometimes recovery doesn’t look like fading scars but it does look like you do today,

a quarter to nine, well past eight rushing because you are late

but your seatbelt is on and your favorite song plays on the radio.

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boas cenas

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The National - 'Guilty Party'

http://www.americanmary.com | http://www.4AD.com Sleep Well Beast, out now: http://4ad.co/SleepWellBeast Director: Casey Reas DP: Matthew Miller DP for Long ...

the national // guilty party

[nationallyrics]

“- Hey, are you awake? - Yeah, I’m right here. - Well, can I ask you about today?”

— The National (About Today)

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the national // light years

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julien baker // turn out the lights

[savage-feels]

Plans?

Bed, lights off, songs

[alentador]

“Não tenho a pretensão de que todas as pessoas que gosto, gostem de mim, nem que eu faça a falta que elas me fazem. O importante pra mim é saber que eu, em algum momento, fui insubstituível, e que esse momento será inesquecível.”

— Fernando Pessoa.

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