"Penises ruin everything." @strangeninja-blog - Tumblr Blog

One thing I learned is that you can’t replace cocaine with a woman, because you will exhaust that woman. If you get addicted to a person, that person eventually will be drained and left a husk.

Marc Maron (via recreationallyscolded)

chiltonisaquack

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ok

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Thank

Wow, you really took the ninja thing seriously. Good to see you.

Sometimes you gotta just disappear.

Maintain the mystery. :)

Holy Shit. It's a Text Post.

Good news, I'm not dead.

Or even kidnapped.

Life is doing that thing where it chuggs on along with little to no regard for how I would like things to go. Not to say things are bad, because they most certainly are not, but they aren't what I was expecting. Are they ever?

So, for those who care, the brief recap/what I'm actually doing.

I have been the sous chef at a cute little place in Altus, AR called Cafe Eden. Tuesday was my last day. I have the ability to spend the summer with my boys and I don't think I'll have that chance again, so I'm taking it. Also, they owners were starting to talk crazy like they would want to hand the restaurant over to the employees (most of whom I don't care for) to run, and although it was cute, it wasn't mine or what I would want mine to be so I needed to get outta there.

I am still a bartender. But only Tuesday nights (beer pong tournament night), Friday nights (karaoke. and yes I get to sing on the job) and Saturday nights (band nights). Obviously this is not the vision, but the people there have been great to me and I'm loyal. Until I open the doors on my own place I will work for them.

Monday-Friday @ 5:15pm and Saturdays @ 2pm I am a trainer at the local gym. We (Justin and I) do a class that is basically crossfit but we aren't allowed to call it crossfit because neither one of us is certified. We've done crossfit for 6 years and we know our shit. We are lacking some of the more needed equipment for legit crossfit (medicine balls, kettlebells, bumper plates) but the class has grown from 5-6 people 3 times a week to 15+ people 6 times a week. The owners of the gym have asked us to design a new room that would be more functional. I. Am. Excite. I can finally do unassisted pullups (like, a lot of em) and if I didn't have this weird flappy, stretchmarky skin from having those kids I would have a 6 pack. I have obliques. Visible obliques. I didn't think this was possible.

I'm on instagram (strangeninja obvs) regularly if you wanna keep up that way. I still won't be around these parts much. To maintain something special you have to prioritize, and also make smart choices. On occasion Tumblr helps me make BAD choices. lol.

Miss you guys.

This has been an update.

olennaredwyne

Sad Cat Diaries (x)

Hello lady! How are you? Where have you been? Are you really back or just visiting from Narnia?

Well HELLOOOO!!! (in the Mrs. Doubtfire voice of course!) I wouldn't say I'm back, but I'm hoping to visit more frequently. Also, let's be honest, THIS is Narnia. :) Your hair is Grrrreat.

betterversionofme

quotesbrain

Hey! I miss you around these parts.

I miss these parts. And your beard.

fyosg

wtfevolution

This pelican looks like a urinal. Go home, evolution, you are drunk.

Sometimes I feel sickly, and to cheer me up he puts on ridiculous outfits and acts very silly. Then I take his picture and he gets not as fun.

lizbrown

From The Stag Cook Book: Written by Men for Men, 1922. Includes Warren Harding’s waffles, Jerome Kern’s terrapin, Charlie Chaplin’s steak and kidney pie, Booth Tarkington’s corn flakes, Florenz Ziegfeld’s little chicken tarts, and Rube Goldberg’s hash.