🍓Stawberry🍓

⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️ 🥀Hw: 150🥀 🍓Cw: 100.2🍓 🍃Lw: 94.3🍃 🔐UGW: 90🔐

[soothifying-sounds-asmr]

“Upwards to the Moon” Guqin song by 自得琴社 Zi De Guqin Studio

[mattibee]

gol

[mattibee]

bat

[stimman4000]

.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[thin-fit-babes]

Same outfit, different weight

[im-missana]

My inspiration for the day

[mcsqu1bb]

My autistic brother created a new family Christmas tradition

Okay, so last year, my mom bought this Christmas moose that she lovingly named Barry

This is him

Cute, right?

Well, for whatever reason only known to my brother, he decided that he wanted to put Barry in different rooms of our house and it usually scares the shit out of whomever happens upon Barry; usually the person who finds him is the person that my brother wanted to scare.

So far, Barry has been found

On our dining room table

On my dad's side of my parents' bed

In my parents' closet

Outside their bedroom door (at 5 in the morning and scared my mother shitless)

Near the kitchen door

Near my fucking bed

At the bottom of my sister's stairwell

In our bathroom

And down the hallway

This has gone on for 9 days and it doesn't seem to show signs of stopping. Most of the time we know who gets Barry because it's always followed with a very loud "FUCKING BARRY!!!!!"

My brother is the funniest fucking person I know.

[mcsqu1bb]

Update:

He found his way into my sister's room.

And my brother is cackling maniacally downstairs.

[mcsqu1bb]

Holy fuck this doll is creepy

[mcsqu1bb]

Another update:

The soft glow of the Christmas tree seems to quell his bloodlust

[thesaltofcarthage]

vote to replace the evil surveillance Elf on the Shelf with Barry the Chrismoose

[annethecatdetective]

Broke: Elf on the Shelf Woke: Moose on the Loose

[i-have-n0-idea-what-im-d0ing-de]

Tis The Season

[4threset]

Lazy...

[ketunperse]

you ever look at certain american christmas movies and wonder how, seemingly, not a single person during the whole production bothered to look up what a reindeer is? like is there a single piece of animated rudolph the red-nosed reindeer media where rudolph is depicted as a reindeer and not a white-tailed deer?

[ketunperse]

red nose just because :)

[frustrationinexcelsis]

I was aware that almost every depiction of mistletoe in Christmas movies uses holly instead, but I only just realized that almost every Christmas reindeer is actually a white-tailed deer while reading this post.

[theshitneyspears]

2017: dumb bitch

2018: sad bitch

2019: bad bitch

[dietpopthinn]

2020 skinny bitch

[xramux]

[cosmog]

no offense but my obsession w being beautiful is literally going to get me killed

[sashacoki]

[i-think-im-dreaming-blog]

yeah, if i could just cancel my subscription to my appetite? it’s pretty expensive and i’m not really enjoying the content

[deadlythinxxx]

After I eat literally anything

[totaleclipseofmyself]

Goals goals goals

[llesbianfarmer]

straight people will never understand how therapeutic it is to hear the words “her girlfriend” or “his boyfriend” or how I ascend to heaven when I hear “her wife” and “his husband”

[queerbookdragon]

Female customer: “I don’t have a rewards card but my partner might.”

Me, ears perking up: “Great! Can I have their name?”

Customer: “It’s Stephanie ____”

Me: stupidly wide smile and faint twinkle in eyes because holy crap I’m not alone

[kendrysaneela]

These two women came up to my register with their twins and they called each other honey and their kids called them both Mom and my soul ascended to the heavens i was so happy

[overlyactivepingpongball]

When I worked as a contractor I knocked on a heavily pregnant woman’s door and she said she’d “have to talk to the missus” in a heeeeavy outback accent and I actually forgot how to speak for a second and had to explain that I’m not homophobic I’m just super gay and hearing her say that launched my souls directly to nirvana

[oculianthracina]

My soul when I see Queer people visibly and openly living their best Queer lives: