This is the only anon I've actually sent you, since I can't message you. I am appalled that someone sent you a rape threat. Death threats. And to Rey as well. I am disgusted at the fact that someone did so. I know that my words won't magically fix things, but I swear on my grandpa's life that I did not send anything like that to either one of you. That crash out anon had nothing to do with it on my end, if the anon had that in mind, it wasn't my intention. I dont know who came to who first, you or Rey. So. Yes, I did go to your ex out of frustration, which I shouldn't have done from what you did tell me when we spoke. I did apologize to you when we spoke on Twitter. As did you. I only put up my DNI because you did. I completely forgot you existed except when you messaged me or I messaged you via Twitter. I quit making posts aimed at either one of you, now just a general statement, posts for friends who need uplifting or venting about others, which I can see looks targeted. I understand if you take my ask with a grain of salt or think I'm lying. I'm not the greatest person, but I never wished bad things to happen to you or Rey. Any harm. Even when I was upset, I didn't. I did check your blogs on occasions, but I made sure none of you were doxxing me. I have been in therapy. I have been working on that. I haven't made responses or answered asks because I was specifically told not to by him and I didn't want to stir the pot. I'm sorry you were harassed and sent vile things, but it was not me. Also, I don't control my wife’s social media. She has access to my devices and I do hers, but I don't ever go through it. I don't send anything to her or myself, cause lowkey, that's stupid. She's sent me screenshots of what they were. It's worded the way you and Rey type, but we both don't appreciate it and the speculations that I hurt her or something along those lines. A mutual of yours or Rey has outted themselves to watching me (bc they follow me apparently) for either one of you and sending you/us anons, and another had followed Wes briefly. I am willing to compromise with you and Rey, if it means to stop unnecessary drama, accusations and stressors among us. I'm sorry for what you both have been treated by others and myself, truly.
So I'm answering this but also telling anyone who's been "defending me" and telling everyone that I am dead to knock it the fuck off. I've seen some of it and been told a little more of it. Stop fucking defending me I am not a damsel in distress I don't need you to defend me.
I don't forgive you this time Dev. What you did was wholly unacceptable. I did try to kill myself. I didn't feel safe at my job. I didn't feel safe going into public. You CHOSE to reach out to someone you knew had PHYSICAL access to me and had literally abused me, not online, not in another state, had literally abused me to my face. Had emotionally wrecked me. Had made me feel as though I was always walking on eggshells to keep a roof over my head and not have to sleep out of my car. You knew all this and your reasoning for reaching out is because you were "frustrated"? Genuinely what the fuck is wrong with you that you even begin to think that is appropriate?
Im not stupid dev. I've been through this song and fucking dance with you. You do send anons. Then you use your supposed disabilities and mental illnesses, of which you have been caught lying about multiple times, to excuse yourself. You "forgot" umu. Well tough shit buttercup you fucking sent those anons and everyone fucking knows it.
If a mutual outed themselves that's not my fucking problem. I didn't ask anyone to do shit because if I had do you think they wouldn't have been doing it the entire fucking time? I did send maybe one anon but I don't remember what it said verbatim but it was along the lines of hoping you never hurt her the way you hurt literally everyone else in your life. She deserves better and you deserve to get real help and actually improve yourself so maybe you can be better. Do I think you should break up? Honestly no. You two lie for each other nonstop. You're perfect for each other. However that doesn't mean I think she deserves to be treated the way you treat everyone else. Do I think you do that yet? No. But I also think you are or were headed down a very dangerous path for the both of you. You were wholly out of control during ALL of that. You lost your mind because two people that know what you're like as a person started talking to each other. You let that jealousy of yours nearly ruin your fucking life. I don't have to forgive you and I don't have to hate you either. I don't have to think you're a good person and I don't have to think that you're actively hurting Wes or whatever. I never did. I though you had a very good chance of heading down a very dark path because you couldn't let go of the fact that two people you hurt and one of which can and has pointed out all of your lies, like lying that Wes' parents don't know you two are married. I have all of your Facebook still. They know. They were at your wedding. You treated Rey like bun was an idiot who would believe any and everything out of both of your mouths and that pisses me off even know. You trust everyone like play things until it blows up in BOTH of your faces and then you play victim.
Yes I'm angry. Yes I'm allowed to be. And I do not give a fuck what it makes you feel like. You acted like a monster. You reached out to someone who abused me and had access to me because you were frustrated. I genuinely had such a bad mental episode after this that I was convinced you were going to contact my dad, who tried to fucking kill me, and tell him where I was. Do I think that now? Fuck no. You don't know my dad and my dad wouldn't ever talk to you or entertain you. But that is what all of this caused for me.
I did make some outrageous demands, but I will not hold that against myself because you WERE CONTACTING PEOPLE WHO COULD AND WOULD STALK ME. Should I have told you to tell Wes to block me? No. I should have told Wes myself. But I haven't had a mental episode that bad in literal years.
Your consequences are what you have to live with after doing this. The guilt and shame that come with knowing you nearly made me kill myself, drove me offline, made me so damn paranoid I couldn't leave my house. You live with this forever I don't care. I do not forgive you and I never EVER will. Especially because I know you're still at the bare minimum checking Charles' blog.
You are a monster. A horrible person. An awful being who I don't think deserves love from anyone but people just like you because you'll destroy and use anyone else. And at this point I do not give a fuck what kind of person that makes me look like.
I do not have to "compromise" with someone that potentially put my fucking life in danger over petty ass internet drama. You made your fucking bed. Lie in it. Die in it for all I care. That is not a death threat. That is "I do not give a fuck if you die in this mess you made". You aren't my fucking problem anymore. But God help anyone who finds they want to give you a chance you do not deserve as you are now.
Get real help, not the shit you pretend to get. Stop treating everyone like they're a fucking game to play. Grow up. Heal. Actually move on. Because as much as you say "I don't bring it up anymore" you did and you do you just delete the shit. At least thats what I saw of one post and I heard about others.
I dont owe you who I heard from either. Cope with the paranoia the way I will always have to for the rest of my life every time I see your names.
And to reiterate the first paragraph: everyone stop speculating my fucking death. It's fucking weird. Stop asking my spouse about me. Stop asking Rey about me. Stop asking about me. I'm alive. Stop defending me. I don't fucking need it. I am never returning to this blog. Ever. In fact after I post this I'm changing the email and password so I can't even ever log on again.
Queue runs for another nearly 500 posts. Then you'll never hear from this blog again. I'm pinning this.
And no. I won't take you off my dni. You deserved to be put on it. You deserve to be put on everyone's dni list in my opinion.
As for Charles/Voidsong. You can't admit your a bad person if it would save your fucking life. You make everything that happens to anyone around you sound like you're a victim in all of it. Your sisters divorce? You're a victim. "How dare he do that to me!!" Not "how dare he do that to my sister/family" no. How dare he do that to you. You couldn't admit that you are abusive if every therapist in the world said you were. Because then you'd have to admit your just like your mother. I hope you never heal at this point. I pray for your downfall specifically every day. You don't deserve to heal or be loved. And I will never ever think you will. You will be forever pissed off that I never treated you like a victim and never said what your family always said. "He's just like that. That's just who he is." I'm not an enabler like them. But I will remember forever that the brother that so graciously "ruined you" as you put it is the same brother you trusted so much to manipulate and lie to about what was happening at "your house" and the one you got to threaten to call the cops on us and threaten kick us out FOR you. I will never forget that the same brother that ruined our lives FOR YOU is the same one that played a part in ruining yours. Feels like poetic justice.
old pinned post has a link to explain what this is all about.
soullessness has no cure
