Modern Tale of Obesity & the Strive to be Healthy

I'm a 34 year old gay man struggling everyday to try and live a healthier lifestyle. After struggling with my weight and health for the majority of my life, I have decided to document my change to a much better way of life. I have had many positives and negatives in prior attempts. This is the story of my ultimate success at achieving health. SW: 319.4 CW: 297.4 - After 16 Weeks GW1: 299.8 **ACHIEVED 3/13/12** GW2: 275.0 GW3: 250.0 GW4: 240.0 GW5: 235.0 UGW: 225.0

[striveforbetterhealth]

Woke up and got my ass outside

So something that I've decided to do, is to start running, which everyone else on here seems to do.  This should be an interesting endeavor, as I have always hated running.  But I also haven't been as fit as I am now...ever.  So I'm excited.  And I am totally going to be that guy entering races and shit.  But first we are going with a couch to 5K program to get into the swing of it.

Actually first, I am just getting my ass outside.  Since it usually takes me a couple weeks to get used to the soreness that accompanies my return to the gym, I am just going to get up in the morning and walk briskly.

I did that this morning and it was fantastic.  It rained the night before so for a little bit I had to watch my footing once I got on a dirt path.  The plan was to walk along the LA River bike path, but halfway through my walk, it was closed.  So I ended up walking in Griffith Park on their running path there.  All total it was 50 minutes and I got a decent sweat.  Plus I saw black-beck stilts, a great blue heron and lots of bunnies.

It was great being outside in the crisp cool morning.

Playlist (BOLD gave me that extra push):

"I Fucked Up" - Madonna

"Club Can't Handle Me (feat. David Guetta)" - Flo Rida

"Take Over Control (Radio Edit) [feat. Eva Simmons]" - Afrojack

"Americano" - Lady Gaga

"Game On Symphonic Mix" - District 78

"Hold It Against Me" - Britney Spears

"Boys Boys Boys" - Lady Gaga

"Dog Days Are Over" - Florence + The Machine

"Keeps Gettin' Better" - Christina Aguilera

"Kiss 'n' Tell" - Ke$ha

"Gasoline" - Britney Spears

"Kill Everybody" - Skrillex

"I Don't Give A (feat. Nicki Minaj)" - Madonna

[striveforbetterhealth]

Well, I got back to the gym somehow

Well, I got up 15 minutes earlier than my alarm and although there was a little internal fighting going on, I found myself in the gym.  Good job me!  First time in 2.5 months.  It went pretty well.  I think having less pounds on me, even if just 10 pounds really made a difference.

Of course I had that moment during the elliptical where my left knee started tweaking out but I powered through it and the last 10 minutes it wasn't hurting anymore.  I have learned that you just need to block out little body aches like that.  

So here is what I did:

Leg Press: 3 x 15

Calf Raises: 3 x 15

Hip Abductor (In to Out): 3 x 15 

Hip Abductor (Out to In): 3 x 15

Crunches: 5 x 20

Elliptical: 2.26 Miles, 4628 strides, 440.2 Calories lost

And now the playlist BOLD made me give a little extra:

"Choices" - Nero

"Gasoline" - Britney Spears

"Wanna Get Hype" - District 78

"Raise Your Weapon" - Deadmau5

"Lack of a Better Name" - Deadmau5

"Can't Stop Me (U.S. Radio Edit)" - Afrojack & Shermanology

"Lunar" - David Guetta & Afrojack

"Miles Away (Johnny Vicious Edit)" - Madonna

"ADD SUV (feat. Pharrell Williams) - Uffie

"Gang Bang" - Madonna

"Raise Your Weapon (Stimming Remix)" - Deadmau5 **THIS IS BEING REMOVED FROM THE PLAYLIST...WAAAY TOO SLOW.**

"My Life Would S**k Without You" - Kelly Clarkson

"Doomsday" - Nero

"Cthulhu Sleeps" - Deadmau5

[laurenmarie-]

[mariamaciocia]

This gave me chills and warmed my heart!!!

[striveforbetterhealth]

Week 16 - 1.4 pounds lost

So I did lose some weight this week.  And it has now been 4 months and I've lost 22 pounds.  This is a bit behind my goals of where I wanted to be at this point, but I'm still moving in the right direction.  I've got my food lined-up for the week, so that is great.  The big thing is to get myself back to the gym.  The goal for that is tomorrow AM.  Will it happen?  I sure hope so!  We will see.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Decent Week

This week has felt pretty good.  My eating has been decent, my drinking seems to have calmed down a little.  I've decided to remove liquor all together.  Just wine/beer.  It was quite nice this weekend.  And it looks like there will be a weight-loss this week.  Which is good...I needed it to start up again. 

We shall see tomorrow...

[striveforbetterhealth]

I'm BACK!

So I disappeared again...

My grandfather died pretty much right when I stopped writing.  I've gone through some weird mental journeys that pretty much stopped the urgency I was having toward my weight-loss.  I also started drinking again which has been pretty fun, but it is time to reign it in again.  Mostly because it is time to focus, like REALLY focus, like I was doing before.

While being gone, I did get under 300 pounds for the first time in my adult life.  It feels pretty good, and that also probably contributed to this lack of focus.  For a very long time in my head it was always about getting under that number.  And now I have.  For about 5 weeks I have held steady at just under 300 pounds.  And I will say, that not gaining weight through this period of reflection is a huge accomplishment in itself.  I have always in the past eaten my feelings and that seems to have officially stopped.  I might drink like a fish, but that doesn't make me gain weight, it just stops me from losing it.

And now it is time for the next big push to 275 (24 pounds).  It's time to be active.  It's time to be motivated.  It's time to love life the way I was living it.  It's just time.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Week 8 - 4.6 pounds lost - AT 300

So here we go..at 300 on the dot.  Crazy...I finally got to the ultimate threshold in my mind.  I have been over 300 since I was 15 years old...19 years ago.  Something clicked this week with my weight-loss.  I changed my eating slightly and boom, started losing weight again after a bit of a drought. 

And now I need to get away from this number.  I am potentially heading to Vegas in a couple weeks and I would like to just have a great time and not over-think my eating/drinking decisions.  And if I can put a bit of distance away from that number, that would be awesome.

Is it weird that because I have had such a hang up on 300 that I feel the weight is just going to fall off crazy fast now?  I mean I feel like I'm in the homestretch.  My top weight was 354 from a couple years ago.  And my original goal was 250.  So in a way I am more than halfway from that first goal.  Mind you I have since upped the goal to 235 and 225 for crazy goal.  But still...it is quite the accomplishment.

VERY POSITIVE RIGHT NOW.  And I have new goals for March...running.  I am going to implement running into my life with a couch to 5k program.  Not sure my shins are going to like it...I tend to get shin splints.  But I'm going to do it.

Life is good.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Week 7 - .8 pounds lost

Well I lost some weight this week but I am still in a little bit of a February lull.  I didn't end up going to the gym at all last week.  I have really been mentally in a bad place for the past week.  Well actually I should say 5 days last week.  I came out of it on Friday and have been getting stronger since.  Tomorrow I am going back to the gym and I am going grocery shopping after work today.

I will say that usually this type of mental fatigue usually means weight gain.  So for me to have actually lost weight, even .8 pounds, in the last 3 weeks...it is somewhat of an accomplishment.

The next three weeks need to be fairly productive.  Following that is Vegas for 5 days.  SCARY.  My sincere hope is to get under 300 pounds before that trip and to still be under 300 pounds when I come back.  And then make a very solid push until Memorial Day.  Then summer...which is notoriously hard for me because I love warm weather partying shenanigans.

Ok - one week at a time.  Still have not had alcohol...that is over a month now.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Difficult Week

Things are going rough for me this week.  I just can't snap the funk I am in.  Work has been a little stressful and I don't have my usual fallback of alcohol to help me through it.  Thus, I am in a pretty crap mood all the time.  I can't seem to find a way to decompress.

My sleep sucks...I'm not waking up or what-not, but when I wake up in the morning I have zero energy.

I haven't been to the gym this week because of that.

My eating is ok.  Not amazing amazing, but not terrible at all. 

Quick update on last week.  Lost .4 pounds, so thus 0 pounds the last two weeks.  However, my tight jeans are now loose, I need a new belt and my goal dress shirts fit perfectly.  I need new goal clothes!

So my mood has nothing to do with my weight-loss goals.  It has to do with just feeling stress more than normal.

I have a physical on March 9th, so I am going to go at least that long without drinking.

Anyway...sorry for whining, but whatever...I'm a baby right now.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Tough week, but I think good week

I had many struggles this week.  Almost all of it mental.  I didn't actually binge at all.  I didn't drink.  And I got to the gym 3 times as well as one hike.  So not too bad.  I did feel like I lost some momentum, which caused most of the mental battles.  This is when I start edging backwards.  But I am pretty sure that didn't happen this week.

I cheated a little on Friday and weighed myself.  I just wanted to make sure something good was happening.  I saw positive signs.  So I feel better about things in general.  But Saturday night I went to a great steakhouse (Boa) and pretty much ate whatever I wanted.  I didn't binge, I enjoyed.  And I didn't leave there full, so I consider that a success.  The next day I went to the gym and I felt as if I was getting rid of the mac & cheese I had there.

So basically hoping for something in the negative tomorrow AM.  And then we go from there.  I think this week coming up will be strong.

[fitbodymindsoul-deactivated2012]

[striveforbetterhealth]

Damn

[striveforbetterhealth]

Quick Note

I haven't disappeared. I haven't gone to my old ways. I haven't binged. I have gone to the gym. My eating has been on par. I haven't had a drink. I'm telling you this because it is a pretty big deal. For me to have worked as hard as I did last week and not see something on the scale, especially being this close to 300lbs...it's tough. But by staying the course thus far this week, I am breaking old habits. This week could potentially be a life-changer. I am battling my inner demons quite a lot this week and thus far, I have won. I just got to grind it out and move forward.

[searching-for-a-purpose93-deact]

[striveforbetterhealth]

Pretty sure this also contributed to my weigh-in today.  My water in-take yesterday was not good at all.  Which is really rare.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Week 5 - 0.4 pounds GAINED - BOO!

Well I kinda called it, although I am not happy that I did.  Here's the thing, after all these years, I kind of know my body.  I am very attuned to how it reacts to changes that I do.  And I know that every time I start up at the gym and go hard, it has the annoying tendency to just hold on to everything because all hell is breaking loose.

I mean seriously, my diet was exactly the same as it has been the last couple weeks in which I lost 4.4 pounds each week.  And I am not expecting to lose that much every week...not at all.  I ideally want to be losing 2 pounds a week.  But to eat the same and then to go to the gym 5 times in which I am losing 600-700 calories every session....well that doesn't make sense, by the numbers.  So I am going to pin this on the intangibles of my body freaking out.

Hopefully this week while I do the same routine my body will realize this is the way life is going to go and will let go.  I look thinner and my clothes are looser than last week.  And I know there is definitely some muscle growth going on and muscle is heavier than fat...blah blah blah.  And I also realize we are talking 0.4 pounds and that is not a lot.  I just wanted to keep going down.

The big thing is to not have this get to me emotionally.  I need to make sure to keep going.  TO NOT BINGE!  I am not afraid to do that.  It is my number one thing I do when I see a weight gain of any kind.

It did not help that I forgot to do laundry yesterday so I had no workout clothes.  Instead I hiked up a hill.  And it was a bitch.  But it was something.  Tonight, laundry.  And then I march forward.

NO BINGING! 

[latimes]

We’ve updated our interactive gay marriage timeline.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Huge day for my rights!  Now on to the next step.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Great weekend - NEW CAR!

Well I had a pretty super weekend.

1) I went and saw Kathy Griffin, spur of the moment, on Friday.  She was hilarious.  I don't usually like stand-up, but I was in tears a couple times.

2) I went and got myself a new car.  The whole process was stressful but overall I am happy with the outcome and LOVE my new car.  2012 VW CC.  Her name is Miss CC Bloom.  I shall miss my car of over 9 years, my 2003 Toyota Matrix, Morpheus.  But it was time.

3) Superbowl.  My first sober Superbowl since I started drinking 13 years ago.  So that is an accomplishment.

My energy is amazing, I went to the gym both Saturday and Sunday.  I am looking forward to my weigh-in tomorrow.  I have no idea what it will be, but my eating was top notch once again.  I went to the gym 5 times.  And I didn't drink a drop of alcohol.

This is the most perfect week I have ever had health wise.  So if I somehow gain weight, so be it.  I FEEL AMAZING.  And that is what matters.

No, but seriously...I better not GAIN weight...that would be absurd.

We shall see.

[striveforbetterhealth]

Day of Rest

Originally I was going to go for a hike this morning rather than the gym.  Well it was freezing and I cannot tell you how crazy sore I am.  Not so much my legs anymore, but my chest and abs.  Wowzers.  Feeling pretty good now, and I had a feeling I would, which is why I was planning on an evening hike/walk. 

But now it seems I shall be seeing Kathy Griffin tonight.  So that's fun.  I haven't ever seen her live and I know I will laugh.  So happy Friday!

Tomorrow - gym, brunch w/ grandparents, car shopping....exciting stuff!!