hey there, i'm moth! i'm 18 and my pronouns are she/they. this is my main blog; i haven't been active in a grillion years but i still have shit here and also there is a nonzero chance i may be active again at some point.
LINKS
ao3 | writer's resource masterlist v2 | headcanons | lore | all my writing excerpts | skyrim mod list | wip word counter | character ask pt. 1, 2, food themed | fight scene advice
STUFF ABOUT ME
university student majoring in astrophysics snd electrical engineering with side interests in healthcare law and policy
dms are open!
still interested in elder scrolls but not actively making content anymore
i have a reblog blog @dagothurfeetpics and a transformers blog @gay-car-robots but my writing, regardless of fandom, will be on this blog. also @mothlikesgayclothing is a thing. also @nonbinary-bruce-wayne is a thing
unmedicated as hell but please talk to me like a normal person (please)
DNI
people who think plagiarism is okay in any sort of media but especially writing
maps/people who read cp
people who associate autism with stupidity or like to infantilize autistic people
racists/xenophobes
acephobes/terfs/lgbtqphobes/any sort of exclusionist
anti vaxxers/anti maskers
irl shippers/people who write rpf
people who romanticize stuff like the mafia or stalking
please don't be the reason why i need to add another type of person here.
ASKS: feel free to ask for prompts, headcanons, or, idk, other stuff.
REQUESTS: closed. i've been unable to fulfill requests for many people, and i'm trying to figure out what i want to write myself. if you've left a request and i've never responded, i'm sorry.
BETA READING: no longer open.
MODDING: oldrim screenarcher, i've wasted 1400 hours of my life on this game so i can probably help with modding. i manually install everything. and, i have no experience or knowledge with:
vortex (i did with nmm but i haven't used it in years + it's outdated now)
programs like wrye bash/tesv edit.
sse
script editing
anything to do with the creation kit
TAGS
#screenshots - my screenshots
#writing or #excerpts - my writing
#my mad ramblings - personal posts
#incorrect quotes - most likely discontinued but for a while i would post weekly quotes from my + my friends' characters
#homie writing/homie art - the homie's stuff, deffo shoot them a follow or some likes, would mean a lot to the both of us!
update post — everything that's happened since july 3rd, 2022
hi everyone!
a little over a year and a half ago i stopped posting or using tumblr at all. long story short, i don't think it was a hiatus, and i don't think i am coming back.
a lot has happened since then! i mostly stopped being a part of the elder scrolls fandom. i don't really play skyrim anymore, and i sure as hell don't make content anymore. i've also (mostly) stopped writing, but the little i do write, i can't justify in posting. i stopped making tumblr posts, even on other blogs. all of the time i spend on tumblr now is scrolling through hashtags.
i've tried several times to rekindle the attachment that i had for skyrim and tumblr and in hindsight, i think i was more attached to the memories i've made in this fandom and on tumblr than anything else.
seeing as this blog started out as an elder scrolls blog, i've decided that i should archive this blog and properly say goodbye. it's a lot of work maintaining more than one social media, and i have too long of a list of irl commitments that will only continue to grow. but i want to thank everyone i've met here for all the wonderful memories! i was mostly active here during a not great point in my life and i don't think i would have gotten out as easily if i didn't have y'all. thank you.
if anyone would like to stay in touch, you can dm me for my discord (i'm primarily active there atp).
update post — everything that's happened since july 3rd, 2022
hi everyone!
a little over a year and a half ago i stopped posting or using tumblr at all. long story short, i don't think it was a hiatus, and i don't think i am coming back.
a lot has happened since then! i mostly stopped being a part of the elder scrolls fandom. i don't really play skyrim anymore, and i sure as hell don't make content anymore. i've also (mostly) stopped writing, but the little i do write, i can't justify in posting. i stopped making tumblr posts, even on other blogs. all of the time i spend on tumblr now is scrolling through hashtags.
i've tried several times to rekindle the attachment that i had for skyrim and tumblr and in hindsight, i think i was more attached to the memories i've made in this fandom and on tumblr than anything else.
seeing as this blog started out as an elder scrolls blog, i've decided that i should archive this blog and properly say goodbye. it's a lot of work maintaining more than one social media, and i have too long of a list of irl commitments that will only continue to grow. but i want to thank everyone i've met here for all the wonderful memories! i was mostly active here during a not great point in my life and i don't think i would have gotten out as easily if i didn't have y'all. thank you.
if anyone would like to stay in touch, you can dm me for my discord (i'm primarily active there atp).
Let’s play a game.
Type the following words into your tags box, then post the first automatic tag that comes up.
you, also, what, when, why, how, look, because, never
Apparently writing an adult character finally opening up about when she was 15-17 years old and killed two children (among others) in an act of revenge to soothe her aching heart, only to realize it didn’t work, and just made things worse, and having other characters (who live in a place like Skyrim) react to the story from a place of sympathy and understanding, rather than outrage and hatred is horrific writing and means all characters involved are sociopaths.
i have many, many thoughts on this, mainly because i saw this go down firsthand. but the most prevalent of them is that this follows near the same logic as the paarthurnax dilemma. and 99/100 times people will side with paarthurnax over the blades, because:
he’s shown remorse for what he’s done, owns up to it, allows the player to pass judgement as they wish, and is actively making an attempt to not repeat the past.
the things he’s done are long since in the past. quite literally millenia, and to many people, there’s little use in remaining in the past, especially when someone’s trying to move forward from it.
this isn’t even mentioning that skyrim is such an inherently violent place in and of itself. murder just be-fucking-cause is a thing, but moreso for revenge and honor and what have you. realistically speaking, if you grow up around violence, you will become accustomed to it. it becomes the norm. take this from someone who’s become accustomed to it day in and day out. it becomes easier to do morally bankrupt things. and it gets easier to not feel an ounce of remorse for them. firien, at the very least, didn’t do what she did without reason- she did it because her sister’s life had been taken before her eyes.
and, in skyrim, and probably anywhere on tamriel, avenging someone’s death is literally just a Thing. judgement has already been passed, on both the murderers of firien’s sister, and on firien. both farkas and tahir knew that further condemnation isn’t gonna do shit.
if firien was an adult who killed two kids, or if she killed with no reason or felt that her kills were justified, i’d have far more questions. so, no, farkas and tahir’s reactions don’t mark them as sociopaths or whatever. when violence is the norm, when current firien isn’t exactly a shining example of morals anyways, when the companions regularly hunt and kill animals and people alike, i don’t see them freaking out as an expected reaction. i mean, aela does near the same damn things during the companion’s questline to avenge skjor’s death. and the dragonborn helps her. so, maybe it sucks, but that’s literally just the way skyrim is.
either way, the comments were neither constructive criticism nor helpful in any way. at best they were insensitive, at worst jumping to conclusions about a fic that the commenter had never read prior. i don’t see how it’s possible to make such an opinion without considering the previous 290,000 something words written before this chapter, or without remembering that tamriel is just an inherently violent place, or that in many cases, our morality can’t be accurately transferred onto these fictional characters living in a different world than us. and probably the most important thing to remember when criticizing any writing— where the author was when they wrote their piece. seriously, i think y'all have forgotten that there’s a real, breathing person on the other side of the screen, writing what you didn’t like. and the back button’s right there. use it sometime.
Wow an EXCELLENT point about Aela. She and the LDB literally slaughter forts full of people who are painted as the enemy because they’re werewolf hunters.
The LBD, throughout the entire game, slaughters entire clans full of people because they’re labeled as bandits or Forsworn. And is paid and praised for it.
To sit there and say “oh well this character is clearly a sociopath because she did a bad thing 10 years prior to the story when she was hurting and a literal child herself with access to the things she needed to exact her revenge” is just blind. To say the people around her, who received her tale with compassion, understanding, and forgiveness in a world where, like Moth said, revenge killing is normal, are also sociopaths, is nitpicking and actively seeking problems where there aren’t any. To deliberately (god I hope it was deliberate) ignore context clues that explain the character’s reactions for the sake of insulting my writing is childish. To say these things and then openly admit that they hadn’t even read the story up until the most recent update, 45 fucking chapters in, but still had the gall to give unsolicited “constructive criticism” is just fucking embarrassing.
I cannot believe I’ve had to defend myself so viciously in the fucking TES fandom, where guilds like the Dark Brotherhood and the Thieves’ Guild exist. Oh, but I guess they’re morally sound because they draw the line at children.
TLDR; dont do what this person did. Don’t pretentiously assume everyone wants your washed out “concrit” and just deliver it unasked for, then use it as acceptable reasoning to insult a stranger’s writing and characters. Don’t assume you know a writer’s motivation for writing a character the way they did, and don’t assume you know a single thing about what’s going on in the story when you just hopped on in the 45th chapter and decided to take it from there.
just wanted to add cause i remembered something, first, really good points from both of you, skyrim is violent and harsh and characters are going to react accordingly?? the ldb kills hundreds of people for no reason but no one bats an eye doing that-
anyway my addition was about this point:
“I cannot believe I’ve had to defend myself so viciously in the fucking TES fandom, where guilds like the Dark Brotherhood and the Thieves’ Guild exist. Oh, but I guess they’re morally sound because they draw the line at children.”
its even more embarrassing because the dark brotherhood doesnt draw the line at children. in fact, they openly brag about it! bragging! in Oblivion, Gogron gro-Bolmog, one of the assassins in the cheydinhal sanctuary, has this to say when you mention you’ve got your first mission:
but yeah no of course someone reacting with compassion about a killing that had reason in the past is sociopathic. definitely. makes sense.
quick addition: the Nords and Nordic culture in TES are based on irl Vikings. Wergild and blood law/blood feud very much Was A Thing. Irl Vikings were… notorious for being quite vicious when family was harmed/killed. So like, even the closest real life comparison doesn’t validate the stuff their saying lol
absolutely amazing to me how so many people in fandom have deluded themselves into believing that they are absolutely above criticism. better yet, that anyone who does criticize them is morally bankrupt for telling them what they don't like about the thing they posted online for anyone to see.
i'm convinced it's this attitude that's led to the epidemic of published authors having public twitter meltdowns over goodread reviews. maybe instead of raising your hackles when someone on the internet hurts your feelings, either log off or realize that maybe what theyre saying actually has merit
If you post shit online for people to read not everyone will have nothing but sunshine and rainbows to say about it. Criticism is a part of life and genuinely, if you can't handle the idea that someone might give you some, you shouldn't be posting online beyond the shit you send to your friends who agree with this rule
hey you dickwad. you look like you’d appreciate it if i went on your fic unprompted and fired away at you because i feel like i’m entitled to being a bitch. i mean, technically, i am, but that makes me a dick.
we’re not asking people to lick our asscracks. we’re asking people to fuck off if they don’t like what they see because that has never been easier on the internet. and clearly you’re ignoring the issue that the people who have been doing this to my friend condone plagiarism and think she should be flattered to have people plagiarize her work MULTIPLE times. criticism can be a gray area. plagiarism is not. got anything to say about that?
Can I just add that constructive criticism is a very specific form of feedback that follows certain rules to ensure a professional but positive environment!
Like starting with something positive first (even better, do a sandwich), offering examples of what you, the critic, wish were rather the case and why - suggestions are more important than the negative stuff; matching your style to the text you're criticising e.g. what's the genre, who is the audience, why was this written ...
Most importantly, consider why you're giving feedback. Is this text something you're invested in? Will the text benefit from your feedback? Do you wish to establish a beneficial relationship with the author?
I want you all to consider what those guidelines mean for your engagement with fandom.
tl;dr if you wish to offer constructive criticism, know that to criticise constructively means following certain feedback rules. It should not be used as a guise for any way you deign to comment on someone elses work.
Since this entire post is about me and my writing, I suppose I should chime in.
My problem isn't that I can't handle criticism (if that were the case I would have thrown a massive tantrum and deleted my fic but, alas, it's still up and still popular), nor is it that I think I'm "above" criticism. You think I didn't anticipate receiving criticism the moment I decided to start sharing my work? Think what you will, but the fact of the matter is that my problem is that this completely random person came out of nowhere and criticized it despite not knowing anything about the story prior to that moment, which again, was 45 chapters into the story. It's almost like there might be context at some point before then lol
If you're going to criticize, at least know the story you're criticizing. Know the character and their relationships with those around them. Otherwise you really will look like a complete goon because you have zero idea what's happened in the story prior to that moment.
I don't care which stance you have on unsolicited criticism. If you criticize something more than halfway into the story without knowing anything that led up to that point, you're automatically making a fool of yourself.
And again, everyone is continuing to ignore the fact that my post was more about two widely known members of this fandom openly condoning plagiarism and saying that I should be flattered by it. Wonder why that could be?
That said, I don't know you but I can tell by your blog that you're the kind of person I don't want to know anyway, so I truthfully don't really care about your opinion. Just thought I'd offer my perspective since you decided to post about me ✨
What I can say about you is that I'm absolutely certain you didn't handle the content tactfully considering you're posting memes about your OC, quote, "hunting children for sport" after a man hunted down and murdered 18 children in an elementary school just a few weeks ago.
Also, need we mention that the person who left a critical comment apologized, which you conveniently left it out of your original post?
You all keep bringing up plagiarism when it has no relevance to the conversation at hand, other than the fact that in your original post you admitted that there was no plagiarism in the first place. Your little cronies have been nothing but aggressive to me. I have less than zero respect for you and the way you treat others, and you should be embarrassed, but I doubt you have the self awareness.
The events of real life have nothing to do with jokes about fictional children that quite literally don't exist. We are not making jokes about what happened in Uvalde and you are grasping at straws here to paint me in a poor light to your followers. Which will probably work because they don't seem the type to form their own opinions without being told what to think. And honestly? Okay. All you're doing here is just proving you have zero idea what you're talking about. Even if you were to go and read it, you would force yourself to have an issue with it because you're clearly the kind of teenager who thinks they know everything about everything and takes issue with being wrong. And that's your prerogative.
I didn't leave out their apology on purpose lol I turned comment moderation on before that even happened and deleted it without replying. I forgot it ever even happened. Also it was a half assed, insincere apology focused on the fact that they offered unsolicited criticism and completely brushed over what they actually said in their comments, despite the lack of context. But you're gonna continue to excuse that anyway.
Where did I admit there was no plagiarism? I said the person who did it apologized, owned up to it, and fixed it. That doesn't mean it never happened. I have no control over how other people behave and I definitely had nothing to do with how they responded to your post but likewise. You seem like an absolute displeasure of a person to deal with and I hope you figure that out soon because... yikes.
So I've been sitting on coming forward about this for some time, opting to keep quiet to avoid stirring fandom drama, but I don't think I want to keep quiet about it anymore, because people in this fandom, good and honest writers who just want to enjoy themselves, need to know who they're dealing with. I understand this might flop, or create backlash against me, but I don't really care. All I care about is that I have done my part by informing the fandom of how these people behave when not putting up a public front, and that I've told my story.
Since TES Fest last year, I've had instances of plagiarism and copying condoned and dismissed by memaidraws (memai on ao3) and dumpsterhipster (filigreebee on ao3) and dealt with unsolicited "constructive" criticism from nientedenada (joyofthejoui on ao3) and an anonymous commenter on ao3 who goes by branson, who I would bet anything is related to them, given my previous instances with this group on discord, ao3, and here on tumblr.
I'm not going to waste anyone's time explaining any drama or situations that lead up to this, but I am open to DMs with any questions regarding. Before moving forward, though, I do want to state that the person who copied my fic has come forward of their own accord, apologized, and changed their work to be more their own thing, and we are still friends to this day. Bori (dumpsterhipster) had gone out of her way to try and cause problems between us, and I'm happy to say her attempts failed. My post is not about this individual, as they did everything to make it right. This is about people in the fandom who are very active here and on ao3, who have openly condoned plagiarism and dismissed and invalidated my feelings regarding.
That said, here it goes, and I apologize for strange image formatting. I had to work really hard to get around tumblr's image limit to include the most important parts.
First of all, memai excusing/condoning plagiarism. I have confrontation anxiety and vented about the first occurrence (there were two separate people who copied me) in a discord server. In some ways regarding me having a conversation with them, she was right, but as for saying plagiarism isn't as bad because it's fanfiction? Yeah. Not a good perspective to have. Especially in a server full of writers for a fandom that relies pretty heavily on fan content being expressed through writing.
Secondly, the second time it happened, Bori told me it was only happening because I was looking for it. I was not. I was reading a friend's fic to be supportive of them. The scene in question was not "similar ideas." It was a play-by-play of exactly what I had written with a few minor differences. I did have concrete proof of it, she just chose to ignore it in favor of dismissing my feelings.
Related, my friend came forward and apologized and owned up to it, and told me someone had told them I was upset. I asked who and they told me it was Bori. Bori took it upon herself to tell them that I should be flattered by what they did and it was sad I didn't. It was not her place to confront this friend for me, and I have no doubt in my mind that she did it with malicious intent. This friend even stated they felt her motives for messaging them were less than pure. My friend admitted what they did and she continued to tell them that I was the one in the wrong here. Their actual fic is nothing like mine, and it's enjoyable to read! There was just this one scene that was the same as mine. Bori didn't agree with that apparently.
I feel it is also important to note here that this woman is in her thirties and she's blatantly trying to manipulate someone who is just over half her age. They knew what they did was harmful, and she still insisted that they hadn't done anything wrong, and that I was in the wrong here. Not to mention, she's lying about how I handled the situation in the server, as well. I was not "really pissed," I was upset and hurt. I did not tell her to fuck off, and neither did the mod. The mod told her that they wouldn't stand for condoning plagiarism and I told her to stop invalidating me. I do have screenshots of these instances if needed, but I opted to leave them out due to tumblr's image limit.
Here we have joyofthejoui/nientedenada offering unsolicited "concrit" that strays into blatant bullying. The issue at hand is objective, I understand, but they openly admit that they hadn't read anything prior to the 45th chapter and proceeded to insult my characters (and by extension, my writing) while putting up a false front of "concerned third party." Notice a theme here with this group of people? I'm not making this post to defend my writing, but if they had actually read anything prior to this event they would know Firien's entire story is her own redemption arc, and they are also holding my interpretation of a violent, dog-eat-dog fantasy world to modern day, real world standards, which just isn't a sensible thing to do.
More on that matter here.
I was very direct in how I viewed their "constructive" criticism but they dug their heels in and refused to acknowledge that they were in the wrong. Concrit should only be given when asked for, or when an offer to do so is accepted. This isn't concrit. This is straight up criticism at best and bullying at worst.
Evidence this is nientedenada and tags from memai on the matter (note the date on Niente's comments and the date on Memai's reblog. It doesn't take a genius to piece together what happened here).
Finally, my comments from Branson. I was hesitant to include this since the comments are anonymous, but I truly have no doubt in my mind that Branson is either Bori or Niente due to the nature of the criticism, the fact that it was, again, thinly-veiled criticism under the guise of concrit. Similarly to Niente's implications throughout their comment, Branson ended a comment with how they hope I'm "more open" to criticism. The final comment infers that it's someone I have blocked who is finding a way around to look at my blog (which is... somehow a win for them? ok bud). Why else would they mention my "terrible" privacy settings? I have their entire group blocked because all they have done is target me.
That's all I really have to say for now. I'm open to questions anyone may have, but I feel this all needed to be said. Whether or not you agree with the criticism I got isn't what I care about. I care that these people are going around and acting like the holiest saints the fandom has to offer, but this is really how they treat people they disagree with/don't like. They condone plagiarism, attack writing, bully, and harass. I never did anything to them aside from tell Bori to stop dismissing my feelings regarding having my hard work being copied. If it happened to me, who else has it happened to? Who is next?
I stayed quiet about this for far too long, but now I'm speaking up about it because I'm tired of seeing them interact with my friends, knowing they're my friends, and acting like they haven't done anything to hurt me. But my friends are aware of what they've done, and that's bitten them in the ass lately. My friends standing up for me is what led me to have the courage to finally post this.
They can try to deny it all they want, but the screenshots don't lie. You don't want your name attached to the shit you've done? Consider not doing that shit to begin with.
They are active in the Arcana fandom, the Fallout fandom, and the Elder Scrolls fandom. I don't know what else they may be into, but I will be tagging this accordingly. People can do with this information what they will, but I want them to know who they might be dealing with.
i love you mfs and tes is my True Fandom but dc beat me to death in an alleyway with an aluminum bat and as soon as i get the gall to write for it..... its over
