Fumes

blood and fire

[rvchh-deactivated20250603]

[rvchh-deactivated20250603]

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I lay sobbing on the floor. The sun smiles brightly. How fitting.

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not nothing but barely something

Your mind is the most beautiful thing about you. They don't care, and they never will. They ravish your naked body but never your naked soul. you are just a vessel, somewhere they can put their disdain for life and loss and a bad day at work. you do not matter as person to them. you are simply some thing. An object or a toy.

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why am I crying

Nothing tastes like my lips kissing the bottle. I can't feel anything anymore. Everything is spiraling. I only feel when I feel nothing. I am not whole. I never was whole. Time starts to stop. I can't slow.

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who the fuck cares

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Why would I want to anyways

There is something about the silence after everything falls apart. Once she is unleashed and the only thing left is the absence of anything. The nothingness, the quietness, the realization that I have never mattered but I am still here. I can't even sob.

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To someone I haven't met but have always known

Is it true what they say about soulmates. The world shifts and gravity fails and I fall and fall. Will your eyes be the last storm I get stranded in, so much to wallow and grieve. I have loved you a thousand lifetimes and I don't even know the taste of your name on my tongue yet.

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It doesn't work that way

Some days, I wish I hadn't stopped. That I had just kept going. Going and going forever. But we all know that isn't feasible. Not how it works. Whatever it is.

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Clasp your hands against my thighs. Dig your teeth into my skin. Kiss my imperfections and worship my flaws. Never forget my devoted faith. Moan my name in prayer. I am the church.

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Your eyes are reflections of dreams I've had many years ago. In a different time and different place. I have known you for many lifetimes and yet loving you is always fresh and new and exciting. I could never stop.

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Let's run away. Find a place to stay. We can cry and wipe each other's tears.

Let’s be free

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Some days I dream of driving until there is no more road and I have no home. A sunset dancing on a decaying dash. My fingers dancing lazily in the wind. The taste of salty ocean tears stained on my chapped lips. Driving until I find whatever it is I am looking for even if that something is nothing

come take a drive with me

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What is this waiting for the weekend. Why is my life only lived in two days. I hate longing for a future I never quite get to. As the clock ticks by.

so do I

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There is something in the way. It chokes and strangles my words. Smothers me entirely holding me down and drowning me in its own hateful way. To each his own we always say

who even are you anymore

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I want to write poem after poem depicting exactly how I feel. About you. About us. None of them are good enough none of them could even compare to the way your eyes light up my soul or the way your hearty laugh leaves me trembling begging for more. How do I begin to describe the way your gentle kisses leave fragile trails of butterflies. A lifetime filled with promise and early morning giggles. Late night conversations laced in depth and longing. An eternity and then some of our forever.

I love you beyond the moon and back

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The only thing I pray for is to be alone with you. To be fully and utterly yours. To kiss those sun drenched lips. I have never loved anyone more than I love you. I will never love anyone more than I love you.

Mine and forever to hold