If I'm going to be honest...I've been considering deleting this account lately.
It's not that I don't enjoy RPing Jean anymore. I do. I love it. I've never felt this connected to a muse before. It's just...I dunno.
I feel like my novelty to others as a partner has worn off.
I'm too shy to send people memes because everyone's so much better at portraying their muses than I am, and I don't know how to format my posts to look like a fucking post card to entice people to like me.
I'm sick of reblogging memes and posting starters and whatnot just to not get a response.
I've never been popular with anything. Right now I'm teetering at 159 followers and gradually losing them, yet some blogs only have to be around for a few weeks to gain twice as many followers and RP partners as me.
I feel like all I do is annoy the people that I'm not scared to death of sending memes to and that every time I reply to a thread, my partners all just think "Oh god, not this person again...why won't they go away, damn I have to reply or else I'll look like an ass" and I hate to think that I'm making someone do something they don't want to do.
I guess what it boils down to is that I love role-playing, and I'd like to continue, but I've been feeling like such crap about myself lately, and I feel like my followers would be happier if I just wasn't here. I feel like all of my partners would be relieved if I just left.
I dunno how much longer this account will be up or if I'll even delete it.
All I know is that I feel like crap because I'm not quality, I'm probably portraying Jean completely wrong, and my writing will never be good enough to impress anybody.
Fortunately, this is under a read more, so it's likely no one will read it, and I can leave without a trace...I just really needed to get this out of my system...
Not sure what else to add...I guess this might be good-bye? I won't know until I've made up my mind, though.
And no this isn't a cry for attention. If it was, I wouldn't put it under a read more. This is just me venting because God knows I've got no one else to vent to.