decaying

*elyse* 19-she/her just trying my best

[strvingbutterflies]

hiya every1 that’s even still on tumblr lol. i haven’t posted anything to here in a long time. my mental health did a huge nosedive last october but i’m a lot better now. i got diagnosed with adhd which was a big relief for me. i’m still struggling w food but i’m doing so so much better. i figured i could use this tumblr as a means of recording my progress sporadically instead of just posting unhealthy pictures. so, this is me from a couple days ago. i’m 5’10, about 130lbs right now. my body weight is teetering on dangerous right now for my height and if i lose anymore i’ll get pulled off my meds so i’m gonna try my hardest to be better. i hope all of you can do the same and get well. eating disorders are so so hard and draining and not pretty. i may look thin in this video but the cost isn’t worth it. i’m always freezing, my body has started growing some lanugo, my blood pressure is low, my heart beat is arrhythmic, i’m always tired/fatigued, and i have lots of bruises since my iron is very very low. it’s hard and it sucks. i’ve been suffering for 7 years and i want my life back. stay safe, all of you. Xx

[strvingbutterflies]

uni is killing me this semester ):< ily all stay safe bbs xx

[strvingbutterflies]

as the holidays are here/approaching, please don’t be too hard on yourself. enjoy the holiday food and time with family if you are able to spend it with them. watch christmas or holiday movies, drink eggnog, bake cookies, and enjoy yourself. it’s been a terribly hard year for all of us. you’re living through a pandemic. give yourself this time to relax. you deserve it no matter how much the voice tells you that you do not. ily all pls stay safe 🤍

[strvingbutterflies]

sorry i haven’t been very active these last few days, i’ve gone completely off track and have just been enjoying my family, christmas time, and not worrying about my intake (well just pushing the screaming voice to the back of my head lols) i just haven’t been very hard on myself but once the holidays are over i’ll be right back to it. ily all stay safe bbs and please don’t fret too much about your stats at this time, this year has been hard enough. you deserve to have a good end of year 🤍

[strvingbutterflies]

i’m gonna marry soup one day istg lolll ily all stay safe bbs xx

[strvingbutterflies]

i feel really productive today lol ily all stay safe bbs xx

[strvingbutterflies]

i ate so badly yesterday and today after a while of doing good and i’m seriously on the verge i hate myself so much. time to fast for 3 days straight to fix what i undid ((: ugh. ily all stay safe bbs xx

[mydaintyariel-deactivated201901]

it’s so annoying when somebody making a post venting about their ED mentions the amount of calories they eat and all the notes are filled with “omg 500 a day?? that’s a binge for me” like…..shut the fuck up. why are you flexing on somebody else’s eating disorder like seriously shut the fuck up

[strvingbutterflies]

How did you loose weight fast? I need too loose about 50pounds till February. Any tips please

hi lovely, i wouldn’t recommend trying to lose that much in less than two months. just make sure you’re in a calorie deficit, you’re drinking lots of water, and eating lots of nutritious foods 🤍

[strvingbutterflies]

here’s some handspo ! ily all stay safe bbs xx

[strvingbutterflies]

this might get taken down/reported but i hope it doesn’t because i really like this set. here’s some tattooed thinspo ! ily all stay safe bbs xx

[marvellous-bones]

[strvingbutterflies]

edtwt is so mean omg. have u guys seen the stuff they say about random, innocent people and to each other ?? oh my.

[strvingbutterflies]

i was feeling really upset today because i’m not where i want to be so i looked through my old photos to feel better. it’s rlly embarrassing but here’s a b4 and after of me, about 3 years apart. it’s not a big difference and i’m still huge but it gave me a lil hope so maybe it will for u too 🤍 ily stay safe bbs xx

[strvingbutterflies]

soup is the best safe food ever omg if anyone wants a list of my safe foods, i can make one ! ily all stay safe bbs xx

[strvingbutterflies]

ily all stay safe bbs xx

[trashythinspo]

❄Bullshit commonly said to people with EDs❄

“If you’re fat, then what am I?” Uh idk

“You’re too skinny.” ..according to you, not me

“But you’re so skinny!” Thank you I’m cured

“Omg, that’s so unhealthy.” Oh thanks, I wasn’t sure

“Aren’t you hungry?” Extremly, but I deal

“You don’t look like you have an ED.” Sorry, I guess I’ll try harder