[prettylilyanime]

Our Blessing ♡ Chapter 06

♡ Pairing: Toji Zenin x reader

♡ Synopsis: in which your ex boyfriend left you with your biggest blessing in life, or- a bundle of a blessing. And he doesn’t even know it.

♡ tags/warnings: 18+, (explicit content in later chapters) angst, and drama, exes to lovers, hidden baby trope, Toji is an asshole (but we love him), Reader just wants to raise Megumi in peace, CEO Toji, possessive Toji, emotionally constipated Toji, Tension, misunderstandings, Flashbacks to past relationship, Heavy themes of abandonment, trust issues, and redemption, baby Megumi is a cutie, Megumi is a mama’s boy, reader works at a flower shop, Hidden Baby Trope

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Toji’s never been a man of many words.

Always the quiet one, sharp green eyes constantly assessing his surroundings, his mind always calculating before he ever bothers to speak.

A trait he inherited from his no good father.

But somehow today, you’ve rendered him completely mute.

Minutes slip by in tense silence, each one dragging heavier than the last. You wonder if he even heard you. Your admission that you did try to tell him about your son, but you gave up.

The two of you are still sitting on your couch, the soft lamplight pooling around you, and his head is bowed, dark hair falling forward to shield his eyes.

You see through him anyway.

His hands are rigid around your baby book, his knuckles white, the leather-bound cover bending slightly under his grip. You had his baby almost six years ago. You wanted to tell him. You tried to tell him.

But he never gave you the chance.

You gave up on him. And the bitter truth is, it was all his fault.

And yet, to your shock, you realize you’re not the only one who’s emotional.

Toji Zenin, the man who’s painted as a ruthless, cold-blooded bastard in every tabloid and headline, has tears running silently down his face.

You notice the glint of one sliding down his cheek and falling into his lap, just barely missing the photo album in his hands. He subtly shifts it out of harm’s way, and that small, almost instinctive motion nearly breaks you.

“Shit, Y/N.” His voice finally cuts through the silence, hoarse and raw. The shaky breath he exhales makes your heart clench; it sounds like something heavy is cracking inside him.

“I didn’t invite you here to make you cry,” you murmur softly, tension threading your voice.

The sight of him like this, unraveled sets off every instinct to reach for him, to touch his hand or shoulder and offer comfort. But your mind holds you back.

You’re confused.

You thought you’d be angrier than this.

And maybe you will be later. You always imagined, in your loneliest nights, that you’d feel some grim satisfaction watching him regret everything, that you’d relish the weight of guilt finally pressing on him.

But you don’t.

Instead, watching him like this, a man who’s always been untouchable, now so visibly shaken makes your throat tighten with a lump you can’t swallow down.

When he reopens the book, it surprises you.

He turns each page slowly, like he’s afraid of missing something, and his hand stills on one in particular.

It’s a photo of you and Megumi on his first birthday: a tiny cake frosted in uneven baby blue buttercream, scattered with star-shaped sprinkles and a single lit candle. You’re more dressed up than usual, a touch of makeup softening your tired features. Megumi, just a little bigger than in the earlier photos, is achingly sweet in a navy blue romper, cheeks round and flushed.

Beneath the picture, in your careful handwriting, are the words:

“It’s your first birthday, Megumi! Mommy made this cake for you. The icing isn’t perfect, but I’m sure I’ll get it right next year! I love you. You’re my biggest blessing in this life. – Mommy.”

Toji stares at that picture for what feels like forever, his expression unreadable but his silence deafening. And then, you see it. The sharp crack in his composure. The way his eyes flicker with something heavy, suffocating.

He notices what’s missing in an instant: there’s no one else there. No friends. No family. No him.

It’s just you and Megumi, alone in this tiny apartment,

Yet you still decorated the table, baked a cake he couldn’t even eat yet, and set your phone on a timer to capture these memories by yourself.

Something inside Toji caves.

Regret doesn’t come close to describing the feeling twisting violently in his gut. Is there a word for this? For the kind of pain that feels like it’s eating him alive from the inside out? Maybe it’s self-loathing. Maybe it’s worse.

Whatever it is, it makes him feel small. Pathetic.

He’s an idiot.

An egotistical, stupid, selfish, blind idiot.

And he's well aware that all of this, every second of this pain, is his own doing.

“Toji.” His name leaves your lips in a voice so soft it nearly breaks him in two.

He finally tears his gaze from the book to look at you. And in that moment, you’re taken aback. His eyes are greener when he cries, impossibly vivid, like shards of sea glass catching the light.

You force yourself to look away, lowering your head, your fingers absently picking at nonexistent lint on your sweater.

“He’s five now” you murmur, your voice soft as if the words themselves are fragile. “Turns six next week.”

Your fingers twist together in your lap, knuckles white. “He, um… has been asking about you. And like I told you, since I ran into Suguru and he gave me your number, I’d been holding back. I think I was scared. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I finally could, I don’t even know why but-”

“Y/N.”

His voice cuts through your rambling, low but firm.

Toji shuts the book with a quiet thud, the sound heavier than it should be, and leans forward, elbows on his knees. His hands drag down his face as he exhales a deep, shaky sigh, fingers momentarily hiding his expression.

“None of this… is your fault,” he says at last, voice low and rough, like gravel scraping together.

“It’s mine. Fuck, this is all on me. Don’t apologize to me. Ever.” The words are sharp, almost biting, like he’s scolding you for even daring to take on his guilt.

If the mood weren’t so heavy, you might’ve laughed.

That was always Toji, ready to fight your battles even against yourself.

Back then, he’d get mad at you whenever you’d say sorry too quickly, whenever you’d shrink back in some pointless argument or let someone walk all over you. “You’re too soft,” he used to tell you, like it was a bad thing. Maybe it was.

You nod quietly, your heart pounding, your mind a haze of disbelief. He’s sitting right next to you.

After all these years, after everything, this man who once felt like your entire world now feels like a ghost, flesh and bone but belonging to another life, dragged reluctantly into your present.

Toji’s gaze shifts, no longer fixed on you but drifting toward the far corner of your cozy living room.

His sharp green eyes land on the Christmas tree, strung with soft yellow lights and flickering rainbow ones, ornaments dangling in a chaotic but charming mix.

Some clearly old, carried over from your childhood, each placed with care. At the base, a small pile of gifts rests, wrapped in bright paper with cartoon reindeer, their cheerful design almost mocking the heaviness of the moment.

“When’s his birthday?” Toji asks suddenly, his voice flat, detached, like he’s speaking through fog. His eyes stay locked on the tree.

You blink, startled by the abrupt question. “December twenty-second” you answer softly. “Almost a Christmas baby.”

The corner of your mouth curves up in a small, watery smile. “It’s tricky around this time. I always have to separate his birthday and Christmas presents.” Your attempt at lightness falls flat; Toji doesn’t react, his expression unmoved, still staring at the tree.

Your brow furrows. Toji’s always been indifferent about Christmas, never cared much for birthdays either - his own was too close to the holiday for him to bother celebrating.

So why does he look like this now?

Your eyes follow his line of sight, scanning the tree. And then you see it.

There, catching the glow of the lights, is a single ornament that stands out from the rest: a delicate crystal heart, its surface refracting warm yellows and soft rainbows as it sways slightly on a silver string.

It’s beautiful, clearly more expensive than anything else on the tree. But that’s not why he’s staring.

It’s because he gave it to you. Years ago.

You tense, gaze snapping away from the ornament as if it burned you.

You don’t even know why you keep putting it up every Christmas. Some sentimental streak you’ve never had the courage to shake. Maybe it’s pathetic, clinging to a piece of him like that.

And now that he’s noticed, the weight of that choice sinks heavy in your chest, heat creeping up your neck. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed, but damn it - you do.

You feel the need to change the subject before it could even begin.

“Toji, I have to ask” you start, voice shaking, terrified you’ll shatter whatever fragile calm lingers between you.

He looks at you then. Really looks. The weight of his gaze alone knots your stomach tighter, and your words falter.

“I still don’t… I never knew why you - you know, left. And I don’t really need to know anymore. It’s ancient history now.” You pause, swallowing hard.

“But I need to know if you want to be in Megumi’s life. I could live with you leaving me, but…” You can’t look at him, can’t bear to see whatever’s written on his face. Your eyes stay fixed on your lap.

“But please… you can’t do that to Megumi.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, soft enough that he’d have to strain to catch it.

The silence that follows feels endless, suffocating. You let out a shaky, pained breath.

“I-it’s okay if you want nothing to do with us. Please just… tell me now. You don’t even have to meet him. I can let him down gently.” You say, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your sweater, scared to look directly at him.

Toji stays quiet for a long time. Long enough that the silence between you becomes unbearable, stretching taut like a wire you’re afraid might snap.

You risk a glance at him, and he’s just… staring. Not at you, not really. His emerald gaze is fixed somewhere beyond you, his expression unreadable.

Finally, he exhales through his nose, a sound halfway between a sigh and a scoff.

“You really think I’d bail on my own kid?” His voice is low, rough around the edges. He leans back against the couch, dragging a hand through his hair, like he’s trying to piece together what the hell he’s supposed to say. “I get it, I ain’t exactly got the best track record. But I ain’t that much of a piece of shit.”

Your heart stutters at that. You want to respond, but your throat feels tight, the words stuck somewhere in your chest.

Toji glances at you now, and the weight of his attention makes you shrink a little. But there’s something softer in his eyes. Something you can’t quite name.

“I didn’t leave ‘cause of you. Or him. Hell, I didn’t even know about him” he says, voice quieter now, almost grudging. “You…I was just an idiot, I wish Suguru told me sooner.”

You flinch, shame pricking at your chest. “I-”

“I’m not mad,” he cuts you off, tone more even. “I just… missed a lot of time I can’t get back.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, eyes flicking toward the ornament still hanging on the tree. “But I ain’t goin’ anywhere now. If Megumi wants me around, I’ll be there.”

There’s a heaviness to his words, not a threat but a promise. The kind of promise Toji Zenin doesn’t make lightly.

“...You sure?” you ask, voice trembling.

He huffs a laugh, low and humorless. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

When he finally looks back at you, really looks, his expression softens by just a fraction. “I fucked up” he says quietly, the words almost strangled. “I don’t know if I could ever make it right, but… I’ll try.”

Your chest tightens, a painful squeeze that leaves you breathless. Before you can stop yourself, your eyes sting, tears pooling faster than you’d like.

Toji notices immediately - of course he does.

His jaw flexes, a faint crease appearing between his brows as his hand twitches like he wants to reach for you but hesitates. “Please don’t cry,” he mutters, sounding almost panicked, like the words are dragged out of him. “I’m sorry. Shit, Y/N… how do I fix this?”

You shake your head weakly, a helpless shrug lifting your shoulders. You don’t have the answer either. “I’m just… feeling a lot right now,” you manage, voice trembling despite your best effort.

His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows hard, the furrow between his brows deepening. For a long moment, he just stares at you, his hands curling into fists like he’s fighting himself.

“...Can I hold you?” The question is rough, almost whispered, like he’s afraid the wrong move will shatter you completely. “I don’t… I don’t deserve it. But-” He exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his hair in frustration. “I just I don’t wanna see you cry like this.”

The words make your throat tighten even more, tears threatening to spill again. He looks so out of his depth, wide shoulders tense like he’s ready for rejection but hoping anyway.

You nod, barely, and that’s all it takes. He’s moving toward you carefully, cautiously, like you’re something fragile he doesn’t trust himself to handle. When his arms finally wrap around you, they’re firm but tentative, holding you close without trapping you.

The warmth of him seeps into your trembling frame, the steady beat of his heart under your cheek grounding you. His breath shudders against your hair, and you swear you feel him murmur something that sounds like, “I’m so fucking sorry,” low and raw, almost like he doesn’t want you to hear it.

But you do, and you let out a soft, shaky breath.

And God, you hate yourself for feeling your heart give into him so easily after everything.

After years of pain, betrayal, and loneliness. You should be furious. You should be keeping him at arm’s length and screaming. Yet, here you are, clinging to him, letting the familiar warmth of him dull the ache in your chest.

Your mind screams at you to be angry, to remind yourself how much he hurt you - but your heart, betraying you as it always has, doesn’t care.

You could stay here for hours in his arms.

You’ve dreamed of this moment for years, and yet -

He still left you. Heartless, cold, like you were nothing.

If it weren’t for Megumi, would he even be here? Would he be apologizing, hugging you, stroking your back like he still cared? Or would you still be standing alone in this apartment, waiting for a ghost that never returned?

Guilt and longing tangle in your chest as you tense, gently pulling away from him, and instantly regretting it as the cool air of your home brushes against your skin. He lets you, careful not to push too far, his dark brows knitting in concern.

“I, um…sorry,” you mutter lightly, brushing away what must be the last of your tears. You notice his furrowed expression, almost exasperated - and you want to laugh. But you don’t.

God, he looks like an older Megumi right now.

He’s opening his mouth, likely to scold you for apologizing, but you cut him off with a rush of resolve, awkwardly avoiding his gaze. “We shouldn’t… we’re back in each other’s lives for Megumi. It’s best we don’t revisit the past,” you say, voice tentative but firm.

He quirks a dark brow, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Hugging you is revisiting the past?”

“Acting like you care about me is,” the words tumble out sharp and unguarded, before you can stop them. His green eyes widen, and for a heartbeat, you falter, wishing you could take them back.

“Y/N, I do care about you" Toji says, low and earnest, but you don’t want to hear it.

“That doesn’t matter now" you cut him off, panic coiling in your chest.

The conversation is heading somewhere you’re not ready to go, and your hands fidget in your lap, twisting the edge of your sweater. He seems to sense you shutting down; his gaze sharpens, serious and intense in a way that jolts you.

“Y/N, wait. We need to talk about this-”

“I don’t want to” you admit finally, forcing your eyes to meet his with as much steadiness as you can muster. Vulnerable and wide open, your heart still feels lodged in his hand from years ago, and you can’t give him another piece of it yet.

Toji exhales slowly, like he’s been holding his breath for years. His hands twitch at his sides, unsure whether to reach for you again or remain rooted in place.

“Okay” he says finally, voice low, rough, tangled with pain and longing. “But I don’t want to barge into Megumi’s life, have him think Mom and Dad don’t get along. We have to address the past at some point.”

Your chest tightens, the lump in your throat heavier than ever.

The thought of him stepping into your son’s life after all these years coils something tight inside you, a knot of fear laced with reluctant hope. You want to protest, to tell him he doesn’t deserve it, that he has no right.

But your throat closes, words catching on the weight of everything unsaid. And at the end of the day, you’re relieved he’s here.

You hate your traitorous heart.

“I know I fucked up,” Toji murmurs, voice rough, his green eyes searching your face like he’s afraid of what he’ll find. “But I need to try. For him. For you, if you’ll let me.”

You look away, fingers twisting the hem of your sweater. “I don’t know if I can just let you,” you whisper, the words raw and trembling, carved out of longing and old hurt.

He nods slowly, like he expected nothing less. “Yeah.” His gaze drops to the floor for a beat before locking back onto you, steady and unflinching. “I’ll try anyway, I want to make this right y/n.”

Something in his tone, bare and almost pleading, cuts through you. You bite your lip hard, fighting back the tide of emotion that threatens to pull you under.

Finally, after what feels like forever, you nod. Small. Careful. “Okay. For Megumi. But what happened between us can wait.” The words are barely audible, like you’re confessing them to the quiet more than to him.

He exhales softly, relief flickering across his face for the briefest moment, so fragile you almost miss it. That softness, foreign and tender, makes your chest ache in ways you can’t name.

“When can I meet him?” he asks, voice low.

You swallow, surprised by his calm resolve. “I was hoping before his birthday party. But I know you’re probably busy.”

“I’ll clear my schedule. How’s tomorrow sound?”

You blink, stunned. “Are you sure? You can take some time to think about this.”

“Y/N,” he interrupts gently but firmly. “I’m sure. I’ll be here.”

The room settles into a quiet so fragile it feels like it might shatter with a breath. The past still looms heavy between you, a shadow neither of you can outrun. But for now, he’s here. You’re here. And maybe, for tonight, that’s enough.

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The next morning creeps in, and Toji’s schedule is wiped clean.

He doesn’t give a damn if his CFO’s skull explodes in today’s meeting, he has more important duties to attend to. Duties… as a new father.

Not that there’s a stroller or a diaper bag in sight. No, instead Toji stands at your front door with a glossy, oversized box tucked under his arm. A brand-new gaming console. His hopeful peace offering.

Six-year-olds like video games, right?

You had texted him last night after your awkward goodbye, numbers now officially exchanged, to tell him not to bring gifts. But with Megumi’s birthday and Christmas around the corner, Toji figures he has years of missed holidays to make up for.

Why not start now?

He’s outside your door at 9 AM sharp, exactly like you’d agreed. The plan: pick you and Megumi up and take you to a cozy breakfast spot tucked away in another part of the city.

The winter air bites at his skin, his breath puffing out in soft clouds. He shifts his weight, heart thudding like he’s about to face down an opposing business partner rather than his own five-year-old. 

Truth is, Toji Zenin is ready to crap his pants. Not that he’d ever admit it.

Then, the door swings open.

You appear, as effortlessly beautiful as ever, hair freshly styled, dark-wash jeans hugging your frame, and a soft jumper that makes you look cozy enough to curl up with. Your eyes flick to the shiny box in his hands, and your brows pull together. “Seriously, Toji? I told you no gifts.”

“Y/N, what the hell does a six-year-old even talk about?” he blurts out, looking absurdly out of place for a man of his size and presence. “I needed a crutch.”

You have to bite your lip to keep from smiling. 

Seeing the infamous, intimidating Toji Zenin practically shaking at the thought of meeting your tiny son is… priceless. Yesterday, everything had been heavy with nostalgia and grief. 

Maybe this is why today feels lighter. Now, you have a chance to enjoy watching him sweat.

“Toji, it’ll be fine. How’d you even get that so fast?” you ask, nodding to the console.

“Promised my assistant a raise if he did this for me and came back from vacation early. Guy’ll do anything for cash,” he mutters darkly.

You pause, brows raised. “I don’t even want to know.”

“Probably not,” he admits.

“Alright, well, come inside. He’s watching TV,” you say, giving him a small smile as you turn to open the door wider.

Before you can step back, his large hand closes around your arm, startling you. “Y/N, wait.”

You turn, brows raised in curiosity, while his jaw tightens like he’s working up the nerve to speak.

“What’s he like?” The words come out low, almost hesitant. He releases your arm quickly, as if realizing he shouldn’t have grabbed you, his gaze flicking away for a second.

“He’s… a lot like you, actually,” you admit with a knowing smile, one that’s both fond and a little nervous.

Toji’s face falters, and he mutters a quiet, “Shit.”

You snort at the reaction, nodding. “Don’t curse around him by the way. He’ll make you put money in the swear jar.”

“You have a swear jar?!”

“He’s five, Toji. Of course we have a swear jar.” You sigh, resigned, because you’re very much a victim of that jar yourself.

He grits his teeth, a muscle in his jaw ticking. “We’re getting off track here. How do I get him to like me?”

You cross your arms, biting back a smile. “For starters? Maybe stop looking like someone’s holding you at gunpoint.”

He blinks at you, caught off guard, then huffs a laugh and glances away, cheeks flushed - and not just from the cold. “Shit, I’m nervous, okay? Feels like I’m gonna say the wrong thing and he’ll hate me forever.”

You tilt your head, unimpressed. “We’ve got bigger issues than that, Toji.”

He scoffs. “What the hell could be worse than that?”

“Hypothermia, if we keep standing out here. Then Megumi won’t have any parents. Let’s go inside.” You snort, reaching back to grab his arm and tugging him in as you open the door to your warm apartment.

Toji freezes for half a second at the casual touch, his green eyes going wide. He’s terrified of what’s coming next but stupidly thrilled by the way your hand curls around his arm, like it’s natural, easy, like it used to be.

He has no right to blush at something so small, but he does anyway.

Motherhood looks good on you. You’ve always been beautiful, one of the prettiest girls in all his classes back then, he’d always thought so. But now, there’s something new, a warmth, a glow that’s only made you more magnetic.

Or maybe he’s just got rocks for brains and is too drawn to the fact that you’re the mother of his son, despite everything between you.

“Megumi, honey,” your voice pulls him out of his thoughts, soft but steady. “Look who I brought.”

He blinks and realizes you’ve already led him further into your home, boots still on as you stop in the middle of the living room.

Toji’s gaze immediately snaps to the couch.

There he is.

A tiny figure perched among a nest of throw pillows. His mop of spiky black hair sticks out in every direction, stubborn and wild, and his wide green eyes - Toji’s green eyes - blink up at him with the kind of unimpressed stare only a child from his bloodline can manage.

Megumi’s dressed neatly in dark jeans and a crisp button-up layered under a warm sweater, his little sneakers dangling off the edge of the couch, patterned with cartoon dogs. 

The scene is quite adorable, with a cartoon murmuring quietly on the TV in the background and the smell of your morning coffee drifting faintly through the air.

Toji freezes for half a second, his chest tightening. He’d seen all the pictures, you’d even sent him a dozen more last night, but it’s different seeing him in person. Seeing his son.

It feels like staring at a mirror twenty-something years younger, all sharp angles and stubbornness now miniature form in chubby cheeks and big eyes. 

And just like that, Toji's heart turns to mush. No words exchanged, yet he knows with bone-deep certainty he’d kill and die for this tiny human without hesitation.

“Hi, Megumi,” Toji says at last, his voice low but steady after a quiet breath.

Those big green eyes don’t blink. They stay locked on him, steady and unyielding, as if the boy is carefully sizing him up. He doesn’t say a word, even as you slip away from Toji’s side and move toward him, your hand gently leaving the man’s arm.

“Megumi, this is Toji. Your daddy. Remember this morning I told you he’d come?” Your voice is soft as you kneel beside the couch, taking Megumi’s small hand in your own.

The boy finally stirs, nodding slightly. His little fingers curl tighter around yours, and it is clear he is deeply wary of the towering man in his home.

The only other man he had ever seen this big was probably Sukuna, Yuuji’s strange tattooed uncle. But even Sukuna didn’t feel this intimidating!

Toji swallows hard, suddenly remembering the large box tucked under his arm. You catch on, seizing the opportunity and deciding to use it as a bridge between them.

“He was happy to know you wanted to meet him, and he even brought you a gift before Christmas,” you whisper conspiratorially, loud enough for Toji to hear. The man could kiss you right now for the heavy lifting you’re doing here.

Megumi’s reaction is minimal though, just as you expected. His gaze flickers briefly to the box in Toji’s arms, avoiding his father’s face entirely.

Toji takes that as his cue and steps further into the room, crouching slightly as he shows Megumi the gift. The box is so big it looks like it could take up half of Megumi’s small frame.

You gasp, feigning excitement, really doing gods work for both of them. “Look, Megumi! Wasn’t this on your wishlist for Santa Claus?” you ask brightly, taking the box from Toji and presenting it to your son.

Megumi’s eyes linger on the box for a moment longer before he slowly nods, leaning closer to you. 

His small hands clutch at your sweater as he scoots into your side, tucking his head against your shoulder like he wants to disappear.

Your smile is soft and reassuring as you rub his back, tilting your head to catch Toji’s eye. You mouth, he’s just shy, offering him a little shrug as if to say give him time.

Toji straightens, watching the two of you with a look that’s hard to place. 

He expected this, he's really a stranger to this child - he knew Megumi wouldn’t come running into his arms or beam at him like in some cheesy holiday movie, but seeing his boy so small and so unsure twists something deep in his chest.

“Yeah, that’s alright,” he murmurs quietly, his voice rough but gentle now. He sets the box carefully down on the coffee table, his massive hands strangely tender with the bright ribbon all around it. “No rush, kid. You open it whenever you feel like it.”

Megumi peeks at him from over your shoulder, his green eyes narrowed but still curious.

You press a soft kiss to the top of his head and whisper, “See? Daddy’s nice. He brought you something special!” Your voice is low and soothing, almost a lullaby, and you feel the tightness in Megumi’s little body ease just slightly under your touch.

Toji keeps his distance, lowering himself onto the arm of a nearby chair. The movement is deliberate, as though he’s trying to shrink himself down, to be less overwhelming. 

His gaze flicks to you, gratitude written plainly on his face, before drifting back to his son. 

There’s something vulnerable in his eyes, a sharp contrast to the man’s towering frame, a man who looks like he could crush the world but is terrified of scaring his own child.

You know you’ll have to take the reins today. The two Zenin men in your life are both frozen, two halves of the same stubborn coin, and their only shared ground seems to be you.

“Well,” you murmur gently, shifting Megumi in your arms, “since we’ve all met, I think it’s time we get some breakfast. We can’t start the day on an empty tummy, can we, Megumi?” Your words are soft and coaxing, and Megumi rests his head on your shoulder, clutching your sweater in a vice grip.

Toji notices the quiet breath you take before rising to your feet, his sharp eyes catching the way you steady yourself. Carrying Megumi has become harder with every passing day, his little body growing heavier, but you shoulder the weight without complaint.

The urge to help you nearly overwhelms him. He wants nothing more than to reach out and pluck the boy from your arms like it’s nothing, to give you a moment of relief. 

But he knows neither of you are ready for that comfort yet, so he stays put, hands curling against his knees as he swallows the instinct.

For now, just being in the same room will do.

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The morning is sharp and cold, your breath misting in the air as Toji holds the door open for you and Megumi.

His car gleams in the pale winter light, a sleek black machine that looks out of place parked along your quiet street. You settle in the back with Megumi, tucking him close under his little jacket, his head resting against your shoulder as he clutches his favorite plush keychain in one hand.

Toji circles around to the driver’s side, slipping into the seat with an ease that betrays his nerves.

He glances at you in the rearview mirror as he starts the engine, the low hum filling the silence. “Seatbelts on?” he mutters, his voice calm, though you notice his fingers tightening briefly around the steering wheel before he pulls out of the driveway.

You can't help but lift an amused brow at that, Toji never really having been one to care about car safety before.

The city passes by quickly, winter casting everything in muted tones. Frost clings to car windows, and holiday decorations hang in shopfronts, glowing faintly even in the daylight.

The ride is quiet but not uncomfortable; Megumi stays nestled against you, thumb brushing over the soft ears of his keychain, while Toji keeps sneaking glances at the two of you through the mirror.

There’s something soft in his expression, though he hides it quickly whenever your eyes catch his.

It’s not long before the car slows in front of a little café tucked between a bookstore and a small boutique, its sign hand-painted and its windows fogged from the warmth inside.

The place looks the same as it always has, cozy and inviting, golden light from all the strung up fairy lights spilling out onto the frosted sidewalk.

Your breath catches for a moment. You recognize it instantly.

“Toji,” you murmur, stepping out of the car as he comes around to open your door. “We’ve been here before.”

He pauses, glancing at you with a hint of surprise, though a faint smirk tugs at his mouth. “You remember that?”

You give a small nod, your gaze flicking briefly toward the café

“Yeah.” Your voice is soft, almost cautious.

The memory of the two of you in that very corner booth years ago surfaces unbidden, him leaning back in his seat with a lazy grin, you laughing at something you can’t even remember now, the smell of cinnamon and coffee lingering in the air. It all feels like a different lifetime.

You tighten your grip on Megumi’s small hand, grounding yourself in the present. “It… hasn’t changed much.”

Toji just shrugs like it’s nothing, though you catch a flicker of satisfaction in his eyes as he steps closer, his large hand hovering near your back without quite touching.

Inside, the café is warm and alive with quiet morning chatter. The air smells of coffee and sugar, the clinking of plates and soft music from an old speaker creating a comfortable buzz.

Wooden tables are lined with potted plants, and a fireplace crackles near the back wall, adding a faint smoky scent to the air. You guide Megumi inside, his small hand tucked in yours, while Toji takes a step ahead to request a booth, his deep voice catching the attention of a few servers who greet him with familiarity.

It feels like stepping into a memory, though now there’s a child’s small fingers curled tightly around yours and a man across from you who feels both achingly familiar and entirely changed from the one who first brought you here.

Before you know it, the three of you are seated in a corner booth. You and Toji sit opposite one another, Megumi sandwiched in the middle, though he’s made a point of pressing himself firmly against your side, practically glued to you.

You catch Toji’s eye and offer a small, sheepish smile.

The comforting scent of cinnamon and fresh bread drifts through the café as a waitress approaches with warm professionalism, handing out menus. Megumi gets a colorful, ocean-themed one along with a small box of crayons, which he immediately begins to fiddle with, twisting them between his little fingers.

The silence between you all lingers for a few beats, broken only by the soft clinking of dishes and the low hum of conversation from other tables. Finally, Toji clears his throat, his deep voice awkward but trying. “So, Megumi… see anything on the menu you like?”

Megumi glances up, cheeks puffed, his expression serious as he narrows his green eyes at his father. “I’m reading.”

You bite back a laugh, glancing at Toji and leaning closer to explain. “He’s in kindergarten, so he’s just learning. He insists he doesn’t need my help.”

Megumi turns his sharp little gaze on you, pouting. “I can read, Mommy. Better than the other kids in my class.”

You raise your brows at his indignation, fighting a smile at the way he’s judging you both so harshly.

Toji leans back in the booth, watching his son with an amused glint in his eyes. “Yeah? You’re the best reader in your class, huh?”

Megumi gives him a short, decisive nod, lips pressed into a little line.

“Well, that’s good. Means you’re smart. Got that from me,” Toji says with a small smirk, sitting back like he’s just dropped some great truth.

Megumi’s green eyes narrow, his small hands gripping the edge of the menu. “Mommy’s smarter.”

You press your lips together, fighting a laugh as Toji’s smirk falters.

“Is she now?” Toji leans forward, feigning offense. “I don’t know, kid. I was at the top of my class back in the day, even better than your mom.” You can't help but roll your eyes at that one. He'd just barely gotten a better grade than you in one class, and has clearly never let it go.

Megumi gives him a long, unimpressed stare. “You cheated.”

You actually snort at that one, covering your mouth with your hand as Toji’s jaw drops in mock outrage.

“Hey, I did not cheat,” he says, defending himself with mock sternness. “I was just that good.”

Megumi crosses his arms, skeptical as ever. “You look like you cheat.”

Your composure is broken, a borderline evil smile on your face as Toji leans back in his seat, defeated. The tension at the table lightens just a fraction despite megumi’s mean side eye, he returns to his kiddie menu a moment later, narrowed eyes slowly going over each word as if to prove his own point.

Megumi glances at Toji one more time, like he’s still not sure he believes him, before scooting closer to you and tugging lightly at your sleeve. He leans in, his voice dropping to a whisper meant only for you.

“I want the chocolate waffles.”

You glance down at him, his serious little pout tugging at your heart, but you school your features into something calm. “That’s a lot of sugar for breakfast, baby,” you murmur gently.

His lips press together in a thin line, his brows furrowing. He pulls back just enough to pout at you, then flicks his gaze toward Toji, as if silently signaling for backup.

Toji, catching the look, quirks a brow. “What?”

Megumi tilts his head slightly, his eyes narrowing with a mix of frustration and determination.

“She says I can’t have the chocolate waffles.”

Toji’s brows lift, and for a split second, he looks like he’s calculating the stakes of this moment: his first real parenting decision. He can either undermine you and be The Fun Dad, giving his kid a mountain of sugar at 9:30 a.m., or agree with you and hope to stay on your good side.

You’re watching him closely, and the weight of that stare makes his decision for him.

“Mm.” Toji leans an elbow on the table, glancing between the two of you, his expression softening. “Well,” he says slowly, “if your mom says no, you gotta listen to her.”

Megumi’s jaw drops, scandalized. “Aren’t dads supposed to be helpful? Yuuji lied.”

You clap a hand over your mouth to stifle your laugh. Toji’s jaw, on the other hand, drops in offense. “Yuuji?! Sukuna’s nephew? What else is that little brat telling you?”

Megumi squints at him like he’s the disappointment of the year, then turns dramatically to bury his face in your side, a little huff escaping him.

“Yuuji is my friend!” he announces from your lap. “And he said if you came, you’d be cool. Hmph.”

You blink, wide-eyed, glancing at Toji. You and Jin are absolutely going to have to start regulating what Yuuji and Megumi discuss at school.

Toji, though, looks far more rattled by the revelation than by his own five-year-old’s judgment. “What are the odds of that…” he mutters, shaking his head.

You can see the gears turning in his head - Sukuna had probably mentioned school events for Yuuji a dozen times, and now Toji’s realizing his best friend met his son before he did. You lean forward quickly, wanting to get ahead of that thought spiral.

“Sukuna met Megumi on accident too,” you explain gently. “I had a playdate planned with Yuuji and his dad, but Sukuna had to come instead.”

Toji’s jaw tightens, sharp eyes narrowing, his expression hardening in that quiet way that makes your stomach twist. Sukuna, his closest friend, had known about Megumi and said nothing?

He could understand Geto, at least. Geto had given you Toji’s number, encouraged you to reach out. But Sukuna?

“I see,” Toji says flatly, voice low, his gaze flicking back to his son like he’s grounding himself.

You chew the inside of your cheek, your pulse picking up. You can practically see him replaying every moment Ryomen had lied to his face, covering for you.

You weren’t exactly fond of your ex-friends anymore, but you didn’t want them to get in trouble with Toji because they were keeping your secret.

“I also asked Sukuna to… y’know, give me time,” you murmur carefully, voice soft, vague enough for Megumi’s sharp little ears.

Megumi stirs in your lap at your tone, his big green eyes darting between the two of you curiously, and you instinctively press a kiss to the crown of his head, hoping to soothe him before he can sense the tension crackling between the adults.

Toji glances back at you, something unreadable in his eyes, then exhales slowly. “Don’t worry about it, Y/N.” His voice is rough but calm, a deliberate choice, and he rakes a hand through his inky black hair like he’s trying to shake off the tension instead of letting it show.

The weight of Toji’s stare lingers, the air at the table tight and heavy. He looks like he’s biting back a hundred thoughts, and you’re about to speak again when a small voice cuts through it.

“Who cares about Yuuji's uncle?” Megumi mutters, his little brow furrowed as he tugs at your sleeve. “I just want my waffles.”

You blink at him, startled, before a soft laugh slips past your lips despite yourself. Toji lets out a low snort, his broad shoulders loosening as he leans back into the booth, the sharpness in his expression finally softening.

“Fair enough, kid,” Toji rumbles, a hint of amusement tugging at the corner of his mouth.

You press a kiss to Megumi’s dark hair, smiling as you shake your head. “Priorities, huh?”

Megumi gives a firm little nod, attention swinging back to the ocean-themed kiddie menu like nothing in the world mattered more than breakfast.

And just like that, the storm in Toji’s eyes fades, replaced by something softer as he watches his son, his gaze steady but warm.

“Maybe we can share those waffles,” you say gently, threading your fingers through Megumi’s soft hair. “You and me. But only if you eat some fruit too.”

Megumi perks up, clearly considering this compromise, though he still sneaks a side-eye at Toji, as if silently holding him accountable for not siding with him earlier.

“Yes please, Mommy,” he murmurs, squishing his cheek against your shoulder and settling there, perfectly content in what he considers the comfiest place in the world. You smooth a hand over his back, offering Toji a hesitant smile.

“I’m hoping you can play the stern parent moving forward. It’s kind of hard to win against him,” you say softly, jokingly.

Toji snorts, leaning an elbow on the table, his lips quirking. “I don’t know, Y/N. We’re fucked then.”

Megumi whips around so fast it’s like he’s been struck by lightning, leaping off your lap to glare at his father with wide, scandalized eyes.

“That’s an ugly word!” Megumi declares, his small voice full of righteous fury. “You gotta pay up when we go home!”

Toji freezes for a moment, eyebrows raised - not because of the scolding, but because of something else entirely. That soft warmth he thought he’d buried long ago flickers to life in his chest at those two simple words.

Megumi doesn’t realize what he just said, and you probably don’t either. But Toji does.

Because the idea sounds almost too good to be true.

Going home. With you. With him.

And in that quiet moment, as Megumi huffs and leans back into your side, Toji makes himself a silent promise.

He’s going to make this right.

[indiewritesxoxo]

snapshots

a handful of moments you'd been convinced you were doomed to be stuck in Satoru Gojo's orbit forever - or a handful of ones where he realized he was stuck in yours

pairings: gojo x f!reader x geto

content: MDNI, angst and fluff and smut, childhood friends-to-lovers, crushes, teasing, gojo is so in love it's not even funny, heartbreak, emotional hurt/comfort, eventual smut, threesome, loss of virginity, breakups/makeups, piv sex, oral (m! + f! receiving), fingering, everyone is bad at feelings, complicated relationships, happy endings

scrapbook entries

page one . . .

playground bully | tutoring session

page two . . .

rainy day | happy birthday | prom date

page three . . .

lifeguard duty | long distance

page four . . .

hotel room | goodnight kiss (i) | goodnight kiss (ii) | tennis match

page five - full spread!

spilled drinks

page six . . .

empty seat | lost cause | morning, after(i) | morning, after (ii) | missed chance

page seven - full spread!

double date

page eight . . .

old friend | bad idea | secret letter(i) | secret letter(ii) | secret letter(iii) | night out | two kisses

page nine - full spread!

shattered illusions

page ten - full spread!

not friends

page eleven . . .

page twelve . . .

alternate ending . . .

side stories . . .

divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more !!

[kthologue]

𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧 – 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮

synopsis. two weeks have slipped by since you disappeared from the emperor’s life. the palace whispers of his unraveling, but no one dares to name the madness consuming him.

contents. period piece, forbidden love, ooc, angst (eventual comfort), yandere emperor!gojo, lovesick!gojo, servant!reader, obsessive behavior, lowkey unreliable narrator, time skips

notes. not proofread once again, but at least all 8k words are finally done. until the epilogue!

series masterlist | chapter 2/2

It has been two weeks since your disappearance. 

Nobody knows where you’ve gone to. Or why. 

Synchronously, the palace had fallen into a hush. The kind that stretched beyond walls and courtyards, embedding itself in the bones of the imperial court. Servants whispered behind their sleeves. Nobles watched the throne with cautious eyes. The emperor, Japan’s strongest man, was unraveling. And nobody knew why.

The stench of alcohol clung to Gojo Satoru. Expensive sake pooled in ceramic cups, the scent sharp and sickly, mixing with the musk of sweat and silk. The chamber was a mess, toppled dishes, shattered glass, the remnants of a feast he hadn’t touched. A single candle flickered on the lacquered table, its wax melting into a slow, steady pool. The shadows cast by the flame twisted along the walls, stretching long and jagged, like ghosts reaching for him.

Gojo slumped against his seat, his white hair, usually snowy white, now fell in wild, overgrown tufts, obscuring his vision in uneven strands. His ceremonial robes, woven in silk and embroidered with the insignia of the Gojo Clan, hung loose around his frame. His fingers twitched over the rim of an empty goblet, a silent tremor betraying the rage simmering beneath his skin.

His breath was slow, methodical. 

Himiko entered without announcement, the sound of her embroidered slippers tapping against the floor. Her robes shimmered under the candlelight, crimson and gold, a deliberate echo of the imperial crest. She was the picture of regality: poised, calculating, her scent perfumed with jasmine.

“You’ve been drinking again,” she observed, her voice smooth yet edged with unspoken frustration.

Gojo didn’t bother lifting his head. Instead, he chuckled, the sound devoid of mirth. He tipped his goblet back, only to find it empty. A scowl twisted his lips as he tossed it aside. The metal clattered against the floor, rolling to a stop against shattered glass.

“Would you like a prize for your deduction?” His voice was hoarse, his throat burned raw from drink.

She ignored his bitterness and stepped closer, fingers trailing along the lacquered table, grazing over his discarded robes. The action was slow, deliberate.

“Tell me, Satoru…” she murmured, her voice as soft as silk, as sharp as a blade. “Why do you waste yourself like this?”

His fingers curled into a fist.

Himiko’s eyes flickered, catching the movement. She stepped closer, her presence heavy in the candlelit chamber. “You were born to rule,” she continued, her words laced with honey and venom alike. “And yet, you let yourself fall into ruin over a woman who no longer wants you. A personal servant, much less.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked.

“She has severed all ties with you,” Himiko pressed, her tone almost pitying. “After your stunt in the ceremonial hall she will never bat an eyelash at you again. And now, her clan whispers of rebellion in the capital. The elders demand retribution.”

Gojo’s breath was slow, methodical.

“The Gojo and Zenin clans must unite,” Himiko continued, watching him carefully. “For the first time in history, we will restore order. We will fulfill your destiny.”

She leaned in, her touch featherlight as her fingers trailed down his chest, the brush of her nails just barely felt through his robes.

“And,” she whispered, voice dipping lower, “you will have me.”

The silence that followed was suffocating.

The candle’s flame flickered, the shadows shifting along the walls.

Gojo let out a slow, shaky breath. His head tilted back against the chair, his gaze hooded, unreadable. The weight of something unseen pressed against him, pushing him deeper into his own destruction.

Finally, he spoke.

“Fine.”

A victorious smile curled on Himiko’s lips.

But then, the doors burst open.

The impact sent a gust of air through the chamber, causing the candle to flicker wildly.

A new presence entered, stepping through the threshold like ink spilling across the pristine floors. Dark robes trailed behind him, blending into the shadows. His expression was unreadable, but his golden eyes gleamed with something knowing.

“Your Majesty,” Geto drawled, his voice smooth, stepping forward. “You called.”

Gojo frowned, his gaze shifting. “Suguru.”

Geto gave a short, practiced bow, the movement fluid. 

The Emperor stares at him, “You are my most trusted ally.”

“A honor that I hold dear, yes.” Suguru’s head is still ducked, waiting for permission to be lifted.

A strange tension filled the air. The kind that was razor-thin, ready to snap.

Gojo’s fingers drummed against the armrest of his chair, the sound slow, calculated. Then, his foot lifted, pressing beneath Suguru’s chin, forcing his head up until their gazes met.

A pair of icy cerulean orbs bore into plum ones.

“You would never do anything to betray my trust, no?”

The room turned frigid.

Suguru’s entire body tensed, though his face remained still. The weight of those words pressed down on him, heavy and suffocating. The deadly tone, Gojo’s battle tone, was one Suguru had only ever heard on the battlefield, when his friend was overtaken with bloodlust.

He felt his blood go cold.

“No, of course not.” His head remained low, eyes staring at the spilled wine pooling along the floor, the blood-red liquid almost taunting him. A warning.

“Then tell me that the rumors are false, dear friend.”

Suguru’s eyes flickered.

Gojo pressed harder with his foot. “Tell me that you did not let my [Name] leave.” His voice trembled, cold and sharp. “Tell me that you did not send her a carriage.”

Silence.

“Tell me that you did not leave her in the hands of another man after I had worked so hard to bring her back.”

Suguru said nothing.

And that was the confirmation Gojo needed.

His hands clenched. His chest heaved.

And then,

“I TRUSTED YOU!”

The chamber shook as Gojo kicked Suguru back, sending him crashing into a wooden table. Artifacts shattered, glass shards scattering across the floor.

Himiko shrieked at the violent display.

Suguru groaned, coughing as the pain tore through his ribs. He barely flinched at the glass buried in his side. Instead, he tilted his head, wiping the blood from his lip.

“She made her choice.” His voice was eerily calm.

Gojo froze.

His breath hitched, stomach twisting

“You don’t know that.” His voice was hoarse, cracking beneath the weight of his own grief. The emperor grabbed a dagger, well hidden in his garments and held it in Suguru’s direction.

Himiko scoffed.

“Why does it matter?” she demanded, stepping between them, fury flashing in her gaze. “She is nothing now! She abandoned you. She left you for another man–”

“Shut your mouth,” Gojo snapped.

Himiko stiffened, stunned by the venom in his voice.

“You chose me!” she shrieked, her voice cracking. “You made your decision.”

“Because I had no choice!” His roar was thunderous, shaking the very foundation of the palace. His breath was ragged, vision tunneled. “But if I did,” He swallowed hard, the taste of regret thick in his throat.

His voice wavered, quieter now.

“If I did… it would have never been you.”

Silence.

Suguru exhaled, tilting his head. “I told you,” he murmured, watching the scene unfold with mild amusement. “You should have let her go when she asked.”

But Gojo Satoru, Emperor of Japan, the strongest man alive, had never known how to let go.

“If you want to live, you will follow my next command carefully.”

The village was quiet in the way only forgotten places could be, tucked away between rolling green fields and a quiet forest.

Unlike the grand palaces and bustling cities, this place moved at its own pace, undisturbed by the heavy weight of politics and war. Here, the air smelled of damn earth and fresh rice paddies, of firewood burning in stone hearths, of crisp morning dew that clung to thatched roofs, mingling with the distant sound of laughter from children playing. The dirt paths were lined with modest homes, their roofs sagging under years of wear. 

It had been two weeks since your disappearance. Two weeks of living as someone else.

Gone were the weight of expectations heavy upon your shoulders. Your hands, once unblemished and soft, now bored faint callouses from work you were never meant to do. And you didn’t mind.

“[Name].”

A familiar voice, steady and unmistakable cut through the quiet morning. You turned, catching sight of Nanami standing near the well, sleeves rolled to his forearms. A basket of vegetables hung from his grasp, the crisp greens contrasting against his neutral-toned kimono. His expression, as always, was measured.

A quiet sigh left your lips, “You’re back early.”

Nanami stepped forward, his glaze flickering down to your hands, observing the red marks on your palms from the rough mortar and pestle. He frowned.

“You shouldn’t be doing this kind of work,” he said, voice low but firm. “You’ll only injure yourself.”

“I’m fine.”

He didn’t seem convinced. But instead of arguing, Nanami placed the basket down and gestured for you to follow him back towards the small house you shared. The villagers were already accustomed to seeing the two of you together, and while they didn’t openly question your presence, there was an unspoken distance between you and them.

As you walked beside him, you caught glimpses of their gazes, wary, guarded.

You  adjusted the strap of your bag, “They won’t even look at me in the eye,” you muttered as the other villagers brushed past you without a second thought. “Why?”

Nanami didn’t look at you immediately, instead adjusting his grip on the basket. “They don’t know who you are.”

“That’s exactly why they don’t trust me.” You exhaled sharply. “I don’t blame them.”

A pause.

Then, Nanami glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “It’s not just that.”

You blinked up at him. “What do you mean?”

His steps slowed as the two of you reached the wooden house, a modest structure, small but well-kept. He set the basket down on the porch, and after a beat of silence, he gestured to you.

“Look at yourself.”

You frowned but obeyed, glancing down at your clothes. “And what of it?” You eyes trail down to the garments. The robes you worn, though simple, were still of a higher quality than the villagers. The stitching, the cut, the deep indigo dye that refused to fade even after days of wear. The silk made you stick out like a sore thumb, but surely it was not envy that caused the entire village avoid you like the plague. These fabrics were a gift from your former mentor Yaga, after all. You couldn’t simply dispose of them.

“The embroidery on your robes, the color… no one other than those of the Imperial Royal Family may be adorned in it.” He exhaled, voice lowering. “It all says one thing: you belong to the emperor.”

A chill ran down your spine.

You swallowed.

Nanami studied your reaction before exhaling, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It was always him,” he murmured.

You looked up. “What?”

“He never let you out of his grasp.” His voice was quiet but weighted. “Even now, when you’re here… Gojo still lingers.”

The name alone sent a shiver down your spine.

Your fingers clenched at the fabric of your robes, suddenly feeling suffocated by it. You had spent so long trying to distance yourself from him, from the golden cage he had kept you in. And yet, here you were.

Still marked by him.

“Well then I need to get myself new clothes,” your hands fidgeting with the rich fibers of your clothing.

“No need,” Nanami pauses his ministrations to look at you. “I’ve already talked to the local seamstress and requested a much more appropriate wardrobe for you.”

For the first time in weeks, you feel a smile form on your face, “Just what would I do without you, Nanami?”

“I wonder the same thing,” he mutters, but you can hear the jest in his voice. He turns away to hide the small smile on his lips.

“Oh, you!” You point straight at the curve of his lips, disregarding the dirt on your hands. He tries to wave them away. “If it wasn’t for the fact that you are an eunuch you would make a damn good husband.”

“That’s… highly inappropriate for you to say,” a flush of pink makes its way to his face.

“Loosen up,” you shrug. “We’re not in the palace anymore.”

“There could be listening ears.”

“Here?” You scoff. “No way. They’ll never find us.”

A gust of wind passed through, rustling the trees. The scent of rain hung in the air, thick and heavy.

You followed him onto the porch, sinking down onto the wooden steps. A comfortable silence stretched between you both.

Nanami turned his head slightly. “Did you ever love him?”

The question wasn’t unexpected. But the answer…

Your hands tightened in your lap. Your chest ached.

“Yes,” you whispered. “I did.”

Nanami hummed, as if he already knew.

You bit your lip, gaze distant. “And that’s what makes it so hard.”

Nanami nodded, his usual sharp demeanor softening. “Love is never simple.”

You turned your head, looking at him with something close to curiosity. “Have you ever been in love, Nanami?”

For the first time that morning, you saw the corner of his lips twitch upward in something resembling amusement.

“I wouldn’t call it that.”

You raised a brow. “What would you call it, then?”

Nanami exhaled, resting his elbows on his knees. “An unfortunate attachment.”

That made you laugh, genuinely. The sound was warm, familiar, a reminder of a life before everything unraveled.

The tension in your chest eased, just slightly.

The wind blew again, carrying with it the distant laughter of children, the sound of a woman calling her husband home, the rustling of bamboo trees swaying in the breeze.

For a moment, just a fleeting moment, you allowed yourself to believe that this could last.

That this small, quiet life could be yours.

The village was peaceful that evening.

The last remnants of sunlight bled into the horizon, painting the sky in hues of deep amber and violet. The rice paddies stretched far into the distance, their golden stalks swaying gently with the breeze. Smoke curled from the thatched roofs of houses, the scent of simmering miso and fresh grain filling the air. Children ran through the dirt paths, their laughter ringing out like wind chimes, their innocence untouched by the quiet storm that lurked on the horizon.

You stood at the entrance of your small home, eyes trained on the fading sun. A cool wind brushed against your skin, raising goosebumps along your arms. Something about the stillness of the evening set you on edge, like the world itself was holding its breath.

Behind you, Nanami finished setting the table, his movements practiced and efficient. “Come inside,” he called, his voice steady as ever. “It’s getting cold.”

You hesitated, something in your gut twisting.

You had felt this before. A warning. A shift.

Slowly, you stepped inside, closing the wooden door behind you. The candlelight flickered, casting soft shadows against the walls. Nanami had prepared a modest meal, steamed rice, pickled vegetables, miso soup with tofu. You sat across from him, but the unease in your chest remained.

Nanami noticed. He always did.

His gaze flickered up, studying your expression. “You’re unsettled.”

You exhaled, pressing your palms against the warm ceramic of your bowl, seeking comfort in its heat. “It’s… too quiet.”

“The village is always quiet at this hour,” he pointed out.

You shook your head. “Not like this.”

A pause. Then, Nanami set down his chopsticks. “You sense something.”

You swallowed. “Don’t you?”

Nanami didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he leaned back slightly, his fingers tapping against the wooden table in thought. Finally, he spoke.

“There have been whispers.”

Your breath hitched. “What kind of whispers?”

He looked at you then, and something in his gaze was heavier than before.

“The kind that don’t reach villages like this unless they are meant to be heard.”

The food in your mouth suddenly tasted like dust.

Nanami continued, voice even but firm. “Travelers passing through have spoken of movement in the capital. The Zenin and Gojo clans are consolidating their forces after rumors of resistance in this region.”

Your stomach twisted.

The Gojo and Zenin clans consolidating must only mean one thing. 

Your fists clenched beneath the table. “It’s him, isn’t it? He married Himiko—and now they’re coming for us, calling it treason.” No matter how powerful Suguru was, you knew his silver tongue and lofty rank could only shield you for so long.

Nanami studied you for a moment. “There’s no confirmation.”

You let out a hollow laugh. “It doesn’t need confirmation.”

Because of course it would be him.

Who else could unite the two most powerful clans in Japan? Who else had the power to move an entire army without resistance? Who else had enough obsession to still chase you after all this time?

Nanami sighed, his expression unreadable. “If it is him… then this village may not be safe much longer.”

The air around you grew suffocating.

He was coming.

The weight of that realization settled deep into your bones, into the very marrow of your being. The small, fleeting life you had begun to carve out here, the quiet mornings, the warmth of the village, the laughter of children, the routine of simple tasks. It was all temporary.

Because Gojo Satoru was coming.

And he would burn the world to the ground to take you back. Out of cruelty. 

You pushed your bowl aside, suddenly losing your appetite. “We should leave.”

Nanami’s gaze darkened. “Not yet.”

Your brows furrowed. “Nanami–”

“If we leave now, we confirm the suspicions of anyone watching,” he said, voice low, calculated. “We need to be smart. We need time.”

You hated that he was right.

Silence stretched between you both, filled only by the distant sound of the wind rustling through the trees.

Then, Nanami did something unexpected.

He reached across the table, placing a hand over yours.

The touch was brief, steady, grounding. “We will figure this out.”

You stared at him, at the sharp angles of his face, at the unwavering certainty in his gaze. And for the first time since the unease settled into your chest, you believed him.

But still, deep in the back of your mind, you knew this was only the calm before the storm.

The night, you dreamt of him. 

Not the kind of fleeting, disjointed dream that dissolves like mist upon waking, but the kind that wraps around your very soul, warm and golden, refusing to let go. It was the kind of dream that felt real, so heartbreakingly vivid that, for a moment, you were no longer lying in a modest village home with the scent of burning wood creeping in from the outside world, no longer burdened by the weight of the choices you had made. You were home.

Not the home you had made for yourself in exile, but the home of your past, a home gilded with silken screens and quiet whispers, with polished floors that gleamed beneath lantern light, and with delicate tapestries woven with the history of an empire you had once believed could be yours. The place where you had once walked with the quiet assurance of someone who belonged, where your voice had been heard, where your name had been spoken with reverence rather than secrecy.

It was spring. The season of renewal, of beginnings, of hope.

You found yourself beneath the vast expanse of the sky, the air thick with the heady perfume of blooming wisteria and the faint, refreshing scent of the nearby stream that wound through the imperial gardens. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, their pale petals drifting lazily through the air like whispered promises, catching in your hair and dusting the ground in a carpet of soft pink. The wind carried the sound of distant laughter, the gentle rustling of leaves.

And above you–

Satoru.

His silhouette was bathed in the afternoon light, the golden hues catching in his white hair, making him look almost otherworldly. He leaned over you, one arm braced against the soft grass, shielding his eyes against the sun’s glare, the other resting lightly beside your shoulder. His robes, though still of the finest silk, were simple today, stripped of the heavy embroidery and rigid embellishments that marked him as the heir to the most powerful clan in the land. The imperial crest was absent from his attire, and for once, he was just Satoru.

And his eyes.

Brilliant, piercing cerulean, sharp and knowing yet warm in a way that only he could be. You had spent so much of your life searching for the ocean’s reflection in them, for the endless sky in the depths of that unrelenting blue, and now, after all this time, they looked at you like you were the only thing that had ever truly mattered.

He studied you for a long moment, his expression unreadable, the shadow of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“You’re staring,” he mused, his voice smooth as silk, his amusement evident in the lazy drawl of his words.

You huffed softly, turning onto your side, the grass cool beneath your palms. “I’m admiring,” you corrected, your tone just as light.

Satoru chuckled, his laughter as rich and effortless as it had always been, a sound that made the world feel lighter, that made you feel lighter. “Is there a difference?” he asked, feigning innocence, though the mischief in his eyes betrayed him.

You sighed, exasperated but fond. “One makes you sound less arrogant.”

He grinned at that, finally shifting to lie beside you, stretching out as if the entire world belonged to him. And in a way, it did.

But in this moment, he belonged to you.

“Pft,” he blows a raspberry into the air. “Let me bask in it, will you? You never give me this kind of attention.”

The wind stirred the branches above, sending another cascade of petals drifting down around you, a few landing in the silver strands of his hair. Without thinking, you reached out, brushing them away, your fingertips barely skimming the silk of his robes as you did. He didn’t move, didn’t flinch, only watched you with that same unwavering gaze, as if he were committing you to memory, as if he were terrified you might disappear before his eyes.

“You know,” he murmured after a moment, his voice quieter now, as though he, too, did not want to shatter the fragile peace between you, “I wish we could stay like this.”

Your breath caught in your throat.

Because so did you.

More than anything, you wished for a world in which this moment, this feeling, this love could exist without consequence.

But you were not foolish. You had always known the truth.

This was never a love that could be without suffering. You were only a concubine, after all. A spoil of war. Not fit to be made an empress. 

You swallowed, willing yourself to keep your voice steady. “We can’t,” you said, though you hated the way the words tasted on your tongue.

Satoru turned his head to face you more fully, his expression unreadable at first, before something flickered across his features, something softer, something pleading.

“Who says?” he asked, and his tone was so quiet, so unlike the brash, overconfident man you had known, that it made your heart ache. “Tell me who says we can’t, and I’ll destroy them.”

You laughed then, a small, sad sound, because you knew he meant it.

“Satoru.”

“I’m serious.” He propped himself up on one elbow, his free hand coming to rest just beside your wrist, close enough that you could feel his warmth but far enough that he wasn’t touching you. “What’s stopping us? The court? The elders? The weight of the empire? Let them have it all. I don’t need any of it.”

You turned to look at him fully now, your chest tightening at the raw honesty in his face, the way he looked at you as if you were his entire world.

And maybe, once upon a time, you had been.

But the world did not belong to you and Satoru alone.

You reached out, letting your fingers trail lightly over his knuckles before pulling away. “You don’t mean that,” you whispered, though a part of you desperately wanted to believe that he did.

Satoru’s jaw clenched, his fingers twitching as if resisting the urge to grab your hand and never let go. “I do.”

And maybe, for that moment, he truly believed it.

But deep down, you both knew better.

The empire would never let him go.

Just as it would never let you be his.

The breeze picked up again, scattering more petals through the air, the scent of cherry blossoms thick and sweet, overwhelming. You wanted to stay here, in this moment, forever. You wanted to pretend that this could last, that you could stay in his arms and never worry about what came next.

But the moment began to waver, the edges of the dream blurring, the sunlight dimming.

And then, suddenly, the gardens were gone.

The warmth, the laughter, the scent of cherry blossoms… all of it melted away into smoke.

Your dream had shifted to another scene.

It was of the familiar scene of the bustling city just outside of the Outer Palace. The capital city had always been lively, but today it seemed to hum with an extra spark. The streets bustled with merchants peddling fragrant spices and embroidered silks, laughter echoed from the open-air teahouses, and the golden rooftops of the imperial palace gleamed under the afternoon sun like something out of a story.

You had just returned from your weekly errand, fetching a fresh batch of pastries from the emperor’s favorite bakery. The baker’s son had been in high spirits as usual, teasing you for being the only person in the city who could make the imperial kitchens jealous with how often you snuck in outside food.

But it wasn’t just the pastries you carried today.

A tiny, delicate flower rested in the palm of your hand, given to you by a child, a sweet little girl who had tugged on your sleeve just as you were leaving the marketplace.

"For you, miss!" she had chirped, eyes bright with admiration.

You had accepted it with a beaming smile, ruffling her hair before she scurried back to her group of friends, giggling and chattering about how pretty the imperial concubine was.

The city loved you.

Perhaps it was because you were one of them, despite the palace silks and the golden embroidery of the Gojo clan stitched into your robes, you had never let your status turn you into something untouchable.

So there you were, practically glowing, a flower twirling between your fingers as you strolled through the palace gardens, utterly unaware that your mere existence was about to ruin the emperor’s evening.

Because at that very moment, Satoru Gojo was staring at you with the expression of a man moments away from declaring war. He had been waiting at the gates of his own palace unceremoniously, counting down the seconds until you made it back, only for his bright spirits to be crushed.

By a flower.

A single, wretched flower.

In your hand.

And you were smiling.

Satoru didn’t even realize he had stopped in his tracks. His mind, sharp and dangerously quick, was already cycling through the list of punishments he could bestow upon the unfortunate soul who had given it to you.

Banishment? Too lenient. Public humiliation? Getting warmer. Immediate execution? …No, too messy. Forced labor in the outer provinces? Perfect.

His hands flexed at his sides. His jaw ticked. His vision tunneled.

He was going to make an example out of whoever had dared…

And then, you turned, your eyes meeting his.

And you smiled even brighter.

"Your Majesty!" you called, voice light with amusement, as if he weren’t currently five seconds away from storming the dungeons and demanding names.

You all but skipped toward him, the flower still twirling between your fingers, completely unaware of the absolute existential crisis you had just caused.

Gojo’s icy blue gaze flickered between your face and the flower, as if trying to determine which offended him more.

"What," he began, his tone deceptively casual, "is that?"

You blinked. "A flower?"

His eye twitched.

"I can see that," he muttered, before stepping closer—close enough that the sheer heat of his presence sent a shiver down your spine. "I meant, who gave it to you?"

You tilted your head, feigning innocence. "Why do you assume someone gave it to me? Maybe I plucked it from the fields myself."

Satoru let out a dry, humorless laugh. "Ha." He leaned in, lowering his voice. "Try again, sweetheart."

Your lips twitched, but before you could answer, a voice piped up–

"It was me!"

Both of you turned to find a child, the same little girl from earlier, standing at the edge of the gates of the Outer Palace, her face alight with pride.

"I gave her the flower!" she repeated, puffing out her chest. "Because she’s the prettiest lady in the whole city!"

Silence. A long, long silence.

Gojo stared. You suppressed laughter.

His entire body visibly relaxed.

The tension in his jaw disappeared, the storm in his eyes cleared, and for a single, fleeting moment, the Emperor of Japan looked genuinely speechless.

And then, he scoffed.

"Well, I suppose I can’t punish a child," he muttered, crossing his arms with a dramatic sigh. "What a shame."

You finally let out a laugh, shaking your head as you knelt beside the girl. "Thank you, little one," you whispered, tucking the flower into your sleeve.

The girl giggled before scurrying away, leaving just the two of you standing in the palace once more.

Satoru watched you carefully, his arms still crossed, his signature smirk just barely returning to his lips.

"You looked like you were five seconds away from passing a death sentence," you teased, eyeing him with amusement.

His expression didn’t waver.

"Oh, I was."

You rolled your eyes. "And what would you have done if it wasn’t a child?"

Gojo hummed, tilting his head as if considering. "Well…" His smirk sharpened. "Let’s just say the baker’s son would have found himself mysteriously exiled to the coldest province in the empire."

You froze.

Your stomach dropped.

Because oh– oh no.

He knew.

Satoru watched, relishing in the way your posture stiffened, the way your gaze flickered just slightly, as if calculating whether it was worth denying it.

"Your Majesty, I–"

"You what?" He raised a brow, leaning in once more, his voice dipping into something dangerously sweet.

"You think I wouldn’t hear about the little romance rumors floating around the palace?" He chuckled, voice laced with something possessive, something undeniably jealous. "You think I wouldn’t know about the way the baker’s son looks at you?"

You swallowed. "It’s just gossip."

"Is it?"

Gojo’s voice was far too amused, far too smug, because he already knew the answer.

And then, just because he could, he lowered his voice even further, leaning in until his lips were barely a breath away from your ear.

"Promise me you won’t leave me."

Your heart stopped.

You turned to him, but the moment you did, he pulled back, flashing you a grin that was far too pleased with itself.

"Don’t look so surprised," he mused, turning on his heel and walking away, hands tucked into his sleeves.

Then, over his shoulder.

"After all, I won’t let anyone take you away."

And then you’re awaken.

Your chest heaved, your skin damp with sweat, your heart pounding so violently against your ribs that for a moment, you couldn’t breathe.

The room was dark. Cold.

How cruel your mind was to remind you of such warm times.

The early morning light filtered through the wooden shutters, casting long golden streaks across the small room. Outside, the village was already stirring with women gathering water from the well, the rhythmic pounding of rice in wooden mortars, the occasional laugh of a child running past. The scent of damp earth and fresh grass filled the air, mingling with the faint aroma of dried herbs that hung from the ceiling.

Inside, you sat on the floor, weaving together dried reeds into a basket, fingers moving deftly despite the lingering morning chill. Across from you, Nanami was sharpening a knife, the slow, deliberate drag of steel against stone filling the quiet space between you.

It was a comfortable silence, one that had settled between you both over the past two weeks, a rhythm that neither of you spoke of, yet understood nonetheless.

“You’re getting better at that,” Nanami remarked, not looking up from his work.

You snorted softly, twisting another reed into place. “You sound surprised.”

“I am.”

You tossed a loose strand of reed at him. He caught it midair without even glancing, setting it aside with a faint huff of amusement.

Nanami tilted his head slightly, observing you from the corner of his eye. “What?”

You blinked, realizing you had been staring. “Nothing.”

His brow arched slightly, but he let it go, returning to his blade. The light glinted off the edge, sharp and lethal. You watched the way his hands moved steady.

Something in your chest tightened.

“You don’t think this is going to last, do you?” you asked suddenly.

Nanami paused.

The scrape of the whetstone against steel stopped, leaving only the distant sounds of the village outside. Slowly, he set the blade down, his gaze meeting yours, level and unreadable.

“…No.”

A lump formed in your throat. You nodded, looking away. “Neither do I.”

Silence.

Then, a sound.

Distant, almost imperceptible. A strange sort of rumbling.

Your fingers stopped weaving.

Nanami was already rising to his feet, his entire body going rigid. His hand went to the knife on the table. His sharp gaze flickered toward the window, toward the thin slit between the shutters. His breath was slow, measured, but you could feel the shift in his presence, the quiet kind of alertness that came before a storm.

And then a scream erupted.

Distant. But close enough.

Your blood ran cold.

Nanami moved.

He crossed the room in two strides, yanking the shutters open. And what you saw fire.

Distant but spreading.

Smoke rising in thick columns from the edge of the village, black against the early morning sky. The distinct sound of hooves against dirt, of metal clashing, of doors being kicked in. Then, through the haze of rising flames, you saw banners. Not just any banners.

Gojo’s crest.

Your breath hitched.

Nanami didn’t hesitate. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you toward the back entrance. “We need to move.”

Your heart was hammering in your chest, feet stumbling as you let him drag you forward. This was happening.

He had found you.

Gojo had found you.

Days before the raid, the palace pulsed with restless energy. Servants flitted through the corridors, their hurried steps echoing against the lacquered floors as they fastened armor, sharpened blades, and prepared provisions. The campaign was supposed to be routine, a small raid to quell rumors of insurrection in a remote village. Yet, the Emperor himself was leading the charge.

No one questioned it aloud. But the whispers wove through the palace like smoke.

In his private chambers, Gojo stood at the window, watching the courtyard below as soldiers mounted their horses, their banners snapping in the cold wind. His reflection stared back at him in the glass. His grip tightened behind his back.

"You’re awfully tense for such a minor skirmish," Himiko mused, lounging on the divan behind him. The golden silk of her robes pooled around her like a shimmering snare. She lifted a cup to her lips, watching him over the rim, her gaze sharp. "One might think there’s more at stake here than a simple village purge."

Gojo didn’t turn.

"One might."

Silence stretched between them, heavy with everything left unsaid.

Himiko hummed, setting her cup down with a delicate clink. "You’ve always been so stubborn. So unwilling to accept the order of things." She rose, crossing the room with slow, deliberate steps. "It’s a shame, really. You could’ve been content. You could’ve let go."

Her fingers brushed his sleeve. A touch meant to soothe. To remind.

His hand snapped up, catching her wrist before she could go any further.

Himiko stilled, lips parting in the slightest gasp. Not from pain, he wasn’t squeezing hard enough for that. But his grip was firm, unyielding. The weight of it said more than any words could.

A muscle flickered in Gojo’s jaw. "Do you think this is forever?" His voice was quiet, but there was something in it that made the candlelight tremble.

Himiko’s smile didn’t falter, but something in her gaze shifted. "I think," she murmured, tilting her head, "that you’re still bound by the same chains as always. No matter how strong you are, some things can’t be undone."

Gojo released her. The moment stretched, brittle as ice. Then he turned, striding toward the door, his long robes whispering against the floor.

Outside, his men were waiting. His horse was waiting.

And somewhere beyond the mountains, the one thing he had ever truly wanted was waiting.

He had wasted enough time.

The streets were already chaos. Villagers running, shrieking, clutching their children as armed soldiers stormed through the narrow paths. Houses were being torn apart, doors broken down. Soldiers clad in imperial armor barked orders, swords flashing as they cut down those who resisted.

Your breath came short, panic clawing at your throat.

Nanami’s grip on your wrist was firm. “Stay close.”

You barely nodded, your body moving on instinct as he guided you through the chaos. You ducked behind a stack of crates, pressing yourself against the wood as two soldiers passed by. Nanami’s body shielded yours, his presence grounding you even as your hands trembled.

A sharp whistle.

Nanami cursed, shoving you aside just as an arrow embedded itself into the wood where your head had been a moment ago.

You gasped.

Another whistle.

Nanami moved. He spun, his knife flashing, a throw, a sickening thud, a body crumpling.

Blood.

It hit the dirt in a slow, steady stream.

You stared.

Nanami grabbed your face, forcing your gaze back to him. “Focus.”

Your lips parted, breath shuddering. But you nodded.

He pulled you forward, weaving through the panicked masses. The exit. You needed to get to the forest to escape before it was too late.

A tall figure clad in white and blue, standing at the center of the destruction, untouched by the chaos.

Gojo Satoru.

Your feet froze.

His eyes locked onto yours instantly. Even from across the village square, even through the haze of smoke and bodies, you could feel the weight of his gaze. The way his body shifted the moment he saw you.

For a moment, nothing else existed.

Nanami saw him at the same time. His entire body went rigid.

Gojo took a slow step forward. His imperial robes billowed slightly with the movement, the embroidery glinting under the firelight, his armor forged from precious metals glistened in the sunlight. His sword hung at his hip, untouched, as if he hadn’t even needed to lift it.

Nanami’s grip on your arm tightened.

Gojo’s expression darkened. His gaze flickered between the two of you visibly irked by the domestic dynamic that had recently developed.

His lips parted, his voice cutting through the carnage like a blade. “Found you.”

Your stomach twisted.

Nanami moved.

But Gojo was faster.

Before either of you could react, a blur of motion, a gust of force, unstoppable. Nanami was on the ground. The blond man coughed out blood.

Your scream barely had time to leave your throat before Gojo was in front of you, too close, too fast. His fingers wrapped around your wrist. Unyielding.

The air was thick with the scent of smoke and blood, the distant wails of the ravaged village melding into the wind. Your hands trembled as you clenched them at your sides, willing yourself to remain still. The weight of the past, of every wound he had inflicted upon you, settled deep in your bones.

“Running from me again?” His voice was a whisper of thunder, low and dangerous. “I thought we were past that.”

You had been running for so long, but had you ever truly escaped him? Every step you took away from him, every sleepless night, every whispered prayer for his absence, and yet here he was, a specter that refused to fade.

Your heart leapt to your throat as his fingers clamped around your wrist, tightening as you attempted to yank yourself free. His other hand rose, tracing the curve of your cheek with deceptive gentleness, the callouses rough against your skin.

“Did you truly believe I wouldn’t come for you?”

Your breath came shallow. “Gojo–”

His fingers curled against your jaw, forcing you to meet his gaze. His expression was unreadable, but his unrelenting grip told a different story. He had always been relentless, hadn’t he? No matter how much you tried to pull away, he found his way back, like a tide that refused to recede.

“Nanami,” he said coldly. “Do your job. Lead the men back.”

A moment of hesitation, a flicker of something like pity in Nanami’s eyes before he turned away. You were glad he did. Gojo had spared him enough not to strike him down on the spot. 

Soon, only the two of you remained, locked in a battle more ferocious than the ones fought with swords.

His forehead pressed against yours, his breath mingling with your own. Your attempts to struggle were fruitless; his body caged you, muscles honed by years of war making it impossible to flee. The warmth of him, the sheer familiarity of his presence, made something inside you ache against your will.

“Why do you run?” His voice was softer now, coaxing.

Your lips curled in a bitter smile. “Are you nothing more than a brute?”

His grip faltered, a shadow of hurt flashing in his eyes. But you didn’t care. His pain was nothing compared to the agony he had inflicted upon you.

“You claim to care for me,” you spat, voice shaking with fury, “yet you cast me aside like a discarded pawn. You chose another, again and again, and then have the audacity to crawl back to me.”

Your voice cracked, but your anger did not waver.

“You humiliated me. You shattered my world and toyed with my heart like it was nothing more than a trinket. I hate you, Gojo Satoru. I hate you so much it consumes me.”

The tears spilled unchecked, your body trembling as the dam within you finally broke. You were certain you looked wretched, but dignity was a luxury you had long since abandoned.

His silence was unbearable. The weight of his guilt pressed between you, thick and suffocating, but you refused to let it soften you.

“You have hurt me beyond repair,” you whispered. “I always knew our love would bring pain, but I never thought it would be at your hands.”

Satoru swallowed hard, his large hands wiping away each tear as they fell.

“You lied to me,” you murmured, fists weakly beating against his chest. He lets you.

“I did.”

“You banished me.”

“I did.”

“You told me you loved me.”

His grip tightened. “I do.”

Your breath hitched. “I hate you.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” you insisted, though the conviction was waning. Did you? Did you truly?

His lips brushed against your temple, his hands cradling your face with unbearable tenderness, “Don’t you know that you’re killing me? That your words pierce me like no other blade?”

You exhaled shakily. “Then why aren’t you dead yet?”

A broken sound left his throat as he pulled you impossibly closer, until your bodies were melded together, until his warmth became a prison of its own.

“Take it back,” he pleaded, his voice hoarse. “Please.”

But you said nothing, staring past him to the charred ruins beyond. Nanami had rallied the men, but the damage had already been done. And so had the damage to your heart. 

“Your army is leaving,” you said numbly. “Why don’t you go join them, General?”

His face was flushed, his eyes bloodshot. And yet, as much as you wanted it to, the sight did not disgust you. Instead, a sick sense of satisfaction curled within you at his suffering.

“Not until you come back,” he declared. "Until you let me explain myself."

You laughed, sharp and humorless. It did not deter him.

He continues his plea, “You can humiliate me in the palace. You can strip me of every last shred of dignity. Do whatever you wish."

He pauses.

"Just come back.”

You tried to put distance between you, but his hold remained firm.

“You still don’t understand, do you?” Your voice wavered. “I am not yours anymore. I haven’t been yours since you chose her. Since you cast me aside for the sake of your kingdom.”

By now, Satoru’s trembling lips had given way to the relentless shaking of his entire body, “I never touched her. My hand was forced. Nothing happened.” Somewhere amid your onslaught, Satoru had forgotten how to breathe. His chest rose in shallow, uneven gasps, his shoulders trembling beneath the weight of words he couldn’t take back. His fingers curled into fists so tight they trembled, knuckles drained of color. He was unraveling right in front of you.

“Everyone around me speaks of my destiny, as if it were carved into the heavens themselves. They whisper that I was born to rule Japan, to claim a throne, to take a noble wife like Himiko and secure a legacy of power.” Satoru’s voice trembles, raw and desperate, as he buries his face in your hair, inhaling deeply like he’s trying to commit you to memory. His hands clutch you tighter, as if you might slip through his fingers at any moment.

“But none of that means a damn thing to me. My destiny isn’t a kingdom—it’s you. It always has been. My place is by your side, not on a throne. I would spend a thousand lifetimes serving you, worshiping you, loving you. We were made for each other, meant to grow old together, to laugh and fight and dream until the very end. To pass down our love, our story—not to this damn empire, but to our grandchildren.”

His breath is shaky against your skin, his grip unrelenting. “Please,” he whispers, voice breaking, “don’t take that from me.”

You wanted to. Wanted to reach for him, to piece him back together, but the raw ache in your chest held you still.

How many times have you stood here, waiting for him to say something, anything, that would make the hurt go away? How many times have you let yourself believe that his silence wasn’t a choice?

You swallowed hard, throat burning. “You don’t get to do this,” you whispered.

His head jerked up, eyes wide, pleading.

“You don’t get to shake and break down and expect me to forget everything,” you continued, voice cracking. “You left me. You let me believe I didn’t matter.”

Satoru exhaled sharply, like the words had physically struck him. “I never–”

“Don’t.” You shook your head, stepping back when he tried to move closer. “Just don’t.”

The silence between them was thick, heavy with unsaid things. Satoru’s breaths came fast and shallow, his entire body vibrating with something between anguish and regret.

Still, you held on to the hurt. Let it press against your ribs, let it remind you that you weren’t just here to be broken all over again. You weren’t ready to forgive him. Not yet. But damn it, you wanted to.

“If it will ease your doubts, I’ll have her head in glass by morning.”

You shuddered. “I don’t want her dead.”

“Then she lives to see another day.”

“And the Zenins?” Your teeth clenched, voice shaking with restrained fury. “I tried to warn you about them, tried to protect you, but you chose to humiliate me instead.”

His fingers traced the curve of your jaw, deliberate and lingering, as if etching you into his memory. “I am truly sorry,” he murmured, his voice softer now, edged with regret. “It was a foolish attempt to keep you safe from those damn elders. I may be the ceremonial head of this country, but their power is undeniable. Your banishment was my own foolish doing to protect you after my mistress was forced upon me. I knew I was lost when I couldn’t breathe without your presence in the palace. The days blurred together, and my duties felt like nothing but a slow death. So, I tried to bring you back as my servant. It was safer that way. You were close, within reach, but still out of grasp. At least you were there. But then... I ruined it all. ”

You hadn’t tried to bite his finger off yet. He took it as an unspoken truce, leaning in, his presence overwhelming, his warmth sinking into your skin. “Not that it matters though. I'm going to kill those geezers and have their heads strung in front of the palace.” A flicker of a smirk ghosted his lips, but his eyes held something far more dangerous.

“I may be a fool,” he admitted, his breath brushing against you, “but I am not weak. So don’t waste a single thought on them.” His fingers curled under your chin, tilting your face toward his. “No one, not them, not fate itself, will take you from me.”

A cruel part of you savored the power you held over him. But you wanted him to suffer longer before you gave the satisfaction of knowing that your heart had softened. “I haven’t forgiven you.”

His hands trembled. “We have a lifetime for that.”

"How arrogant of you to assume I’d ever choose to spend a lifetime with you." Your voice was quiet, but the weight of your words struck like a blade.

You shouldn't feel as satisfied as you did when you watched Gojo Satoru, the strongest man alive crumpled. His breath hitched, his knees buckling beneath him as if the sheer force of your rejection had stolen the ground from under him.

Still, he reached for you. Desperation bled into his touch, fingers digging into your sleeves as though letting go would mean losing you forever. His voice, usually laced with arrogance and ease, was stripped raw.

“Then I don’t see a point in living.”

The weight of his confession clung to the air, thick and suffocating, and yet he only looked at you, as if the universe itself had been reduced to the space between his hands and your skin.

“And what of your crown?” you finally whispered.

His laugh was hollow, almost broken. “I’d throw it away if it meant keeping you. If it meant you will let me be yours.”

Then, as if surrendering himself entirely, both knees met the dirt. His hands, once accustomed to wielding absolute power, clung to your waist, not as an emperor, not as the strongest, but as a man begging to be allowed to stay.

His eyes burned into yours, pleading, unraveling.

And for the first time, you let him hold you. This time, you didn’t pull away.

A shuddering breath left his lips against your skin, as if he couldn’t believe you were real, as if he feared you might slip away the moment he let go. His grip tightened, not in possession, but in reverence.

The wind whispered through the trees, carrying the scent of rain, of earth, of something on the verge of breaking.

"I expect you to kneel at my feet and beg for years to come." You murmured, fingers brushing against the strands of his silver hair. A handful of hair is gripped tightly, fingers digging in with purpose. "Perhaps then, I might even consider you once more."

His throat bobbed. "If that is what it takes."

This was not just an apology, nor was it a confession. It was surrender in the purest sense. The weight of his kingdom, his sins, his power. All of it, cast aside for you. It was the justice you deserved after all the pain you endured.

reblogs and comments are appreciated mwah!

taglist | @wr4inn @sukioyakio @siopaoxcc @thejujvtsupost @bakananya @catobsessedlady @fiannee @sleepycow21 @kirashuu @deluludyslexic @isaacdaknight @bathroom-sand @arehzhera @lostinneocity @victoria1676 @uziwork @alexatiu @taenosaurrr @sukunasleftkneecap @toecurlingstories @yandere-stories @dreamsarenicer @hiyaitssans @getoicious @docosahexaenoic-san @goldenglow149 @amiorcani @step-on-me-melissa @erensswife1 @roses-and-reeses @ssc7514 @hyunsuks-beanie @crankyarchives @wooasecret @theiridescentdragon @mshitachin @kieralive @cake-with-the-cream @miffysoo @msvalsius @drthymby @sherryuki-callmeyuki @anonymous-creep @altgojo @aesukuni @sadmonke @luna-v-roiya @hightoasterr @rebeccawinters @paprikaquinn @frozenmallows

[studiosakuras]

does anyone know how long I’ve been waiting for tropes and dialogue like this 😓 pls pls anyone recommend more like this (doesn’t have to be emperor BUT I NEED MORE DEVOTION LIKE THIS PLEASE 😭)

[animepolaroid]

[yuki] - reposted w/ permission

[animepolaroid]

[cabbage] - reposted w/ permission

[love-and-d33pthroats]

xavier ✨

zayne ❄️

rafayel 🐟

sylus 🐦‍⬛

[brattysiren]

━ zayne ♡

“you care? i can’t tell.”

“you have selective memory as well. i care about you, but you don’t remember.”

[ezzakennebba]

[[ bella swan board ]]

[reccyls]

A Guide to IkePri Birthday Party Events

(or, how to get birthday stories and birthday CGs for free*) * some caveats apply

Starting from the 2nd anniversary, with Leon's 3rd birthday, IkePri will no longer be selling new birthday stories the way they are done now (don't worry, you can still buy the old stories if you want them!).

Instead, they debut a new type of event called a Party Event, which is kinda like a story event but with a couple of quirks. By participating in the event, you can get the birthday story for that character as well as the birthday CG potentially for free, as long as you fulfill a few requirements first.

I myself have been able to get Yves and Licht's birthday CG card, the birthday story, and His POV versions of the story without spending a single diamond.

In case you wanted to start preparing for the events, here's a guide about how they'll work and what you need in order to get everything.

TL;DR requirements

To give yourself the best chance at getting the card and stories, you will want the following:

All four card slots unlocked (thus at least 10k BP from avatar items)

At least one 5* card of the birthday boy

The ability to be pretty on the ball about using your stamina properly (not letting it cap for too long, ability to check in semi-regularly throughout the day)

You may be able to make it without 4 slots if you have lots of 5* cards of the birthday boy, but I'm not certain, as that's not a situation I've found myself in.

So first of all, how do Party Events work?

Like I said before, they are kind of like Story Events. You do special salons and get Party Points for doing them. Accumulating Party Points will raise your Party Level, and every time you make it to a new level milestone, you get a reward. There is an early clear bonus to reach a particular level within a certain time after the event starts to get extra rewards. There are ranking prizes, and also 2x and 3x Lucky Times.

But, what are those quirks you mentioned?

Party Salons use a separate stamina system than normal events. In one sense, this is a good thing: Birthday Party events often happen while other events are ongoing, so by using a separate stamina system, participating in one event doesn't use up your stamina for the other. In another sense, this is a bad thing: you cannot use any tea sets you have previously saved up because they provide normal stamina refills, not the special stamina refills.

The lucky times work slightly differently:

The above is the lucky time schedule as shown by the game for Chevalier's birthday event. There is a 3x Lucky time for 32 hours when the event starts, and another 3x Lucky Time for the 30 hours before it ends.

But I said there were 2x Lucky times, right? Where are they?

The answer is: they are whenever you want them to be.

When you enter a Birthday Party event for the first time, you will be given 3 of an item that will allow you to trigger a 2x Lucky Time whenever you want. This lasts for 30 minutes.

(I used up one already which is why it says I only have 2)

These items expire at the end of each Party Event so you can't stockpile them for one character. And they are also disabled if there is a 3x Lucky Time ongoing, to prevent you from wasting them.

Another quirk of Party Events is that visiting the Party event page twice a day (once after 12 AM JST and once after 12 PM JST) will give you an item that restores the special stamina used in Party Events (called AP). You get a +50 AP item each time, and again, they expire at the end of the Party Event so you can't stockpile them for the future.

And the last major quirk of Party Events is what determines the amount of Party Points you get: the more of the birthday boy you have in your party, the more points you get.

Having cards of the appropriate character is EXTREMELY important to get points. Even low rarity ones are better than using a different character. To illustrate, look at these two parties below (for Chevalier's party event):

The first one is all 5*s, but none of them (except for the guest card) are Chevalier. The second party is a 2* card and the others are 3*s. And yet, they score the same amount of points, +21.

This party of 4*s is what I'm using for Chevalier and they score +71, more than three times more than the 5* party with "wrong" characters

Basically: fill your party with different cards of the birthday boy. Even if they're 3*s, even if they're 2*s. But of course, still prioritize 5* cards if you have any as they do give more points than a lower rarity card of the same character.

(If you want to be a good friend, change the leader of your 1st party to be your highest rarity card of whoever is having a birthday right now, as that determines which of your cards that people following you can borrow, because guest cards count too!)

A few more miscellaneous things about Party Salons: you don't get Bond Points for doing them, you cannot watch ads to get a 20 AP refill like you can for normal stamina, and there's no chance of getting a Surprise Bonus from doing them.

Now, about rewards.

To get the birthday story (which comes in 3 parts), you will need to reach Party Level 20 to get all of them.

To get the birthday CG card and His POV of the birthday story, that is an Early Clear Bonus. You need to reach Party Level 15 within 56 hours of the event starting.

Finally, there are bonus rewards for ranking which is beyond the scope of this guide since I doubt that they are possible to get without paying. But I will give a note at the end about the ranking rewards.

Here is a list of all Party Level rewards (lots of goodies!), and the corresponding point numbers that you need to achieve them.

Green cells are story rewards, Pink cells are avatar rewards.

Every 2,500 points after level 30 gives you an extra chibi (level 22 reward).

Here is what Yves's avatar items look like. They are pretty much just colorswaps from character to character.

And so, if we want the regular birthday story, his POV story, and the card, we have two goals:

Reach Party Level 15 within 56 hours

Reach Party Level 20 before the event ends.

And guess what? If you fulfill the conditions I set about in the tl;dr up above, then you can reach them without spending a single diamond!

These were the teams I used to get Yves and Licht's birthday stuff (one 5* card, and the highest BP cards I had. Once I got to level 15, I replaced the lowest BP card with the birthday CG, since it has 750 BP):

I reached Level 15 with about 3 hours to spare for the ECB, and ended up around level 22-24 by the end of the event, comfortably having gotten the 3rd part of the story.

I also made changes to who I was following, to ensure that I was following as many people with a 5* of the right character as possible.

The strategy I used was:

While the first 3x Lucky Time is ongoing, do as many Party Salons as you can. When you get the 50 AP item from logging in, just use it as soon as you can. You want to maximize the number of points you get during this time, so as much as you can, ensure that your stamina won't stay capped for too long.

After the Lucky Time is over, but before the end of the 56 hour period for the ECB, don't use up your AP recovery items. But I do activate two of the 2x Lucky Time items if I have 100 AP. Might as well use them up to get some extra points towards making the early clear bonus.

If you have one 5* card, this should put you in a position to reach Level 15 a couple of hours before the deadline. You can activate the final 2x Lucky Time bonus and use your stockpiled AP items to get over the edge. Of course, if you have more 5*s, it'll be faster for sure.

Then, after you have gotten the early clear bonus, go back to stockpiling AP recovery items. Just do your Party Salons as normal. And when you get to the last 3x Lucky Time, dump all of the AP items and do all the salons. You should make it to Party Level 20 easily.

Now, if you're aiming to try for Level 30, or even to rank, then maybe this isn't the optimal strategy. But I am only concerned with getting the story and the card, so this works well enough for me. Maybe someone else has a better or more efficient strategy too.

But what if you don't have a 5* card?

Well, in that case, you are probably not going to be able to make it without spending. For Leon, Nokto, I wasn't able to make it to the early clear bonus or to level 20, and I am probably not going to make it to Chev.

In that case, you are probably going to have to buy some sets/items. There are AP restoring items, as well as items that directly raise your Party Points. But I don't know how cost-effective they are or which set is better than the others.

Ranking?

So! When I said that you can get all the stories for free, that is prooobably a lie. Because there is an epilogue from the suitor's POV that is only given to the top 100 people who rank.

Yeah.

I highly doubt that that is going to be achievable without spending, particularly for more popular characters. But if you want to try for it anyway, I salute you and wish you the best of luck.

Additionally, there is another thing:

That little thing down at the bottom right of Yves's birthday card says that getting 5 more copies of the card will cause the illustration to change. But, if you go back up to take a look at the rewards list for Party Levels, you can't actually get any additional copies of the card. So how are you supposed to get 5 more copies?

The answer is by getting to rank 30 or above.

Yeahhhh.

Edit (25 Nov 2022): Thanks to a survey on the JP app, I discovered that the image "changing" is just the character's signature getting put over the card, as shown below. It doesn't actually change the illustration of the card.

And one final thing about ranking is that being in the top 200 will give you a birthday cake avatar item. This isn't just a color swap between the suitors, there are actually some design elements that are different between them. Like there's a stack of what I assume are fondant books on Chevalier's, Yves's cake has cat ears and a tail, things like that. And everyone rank 200 and above will get them, but if you are #1, #2, or #3, your cake will be slightly special in that it'll say your place on it for bragging rights, like so:

Here is a full summary of the special rewards that come with ranking (not including the regular ranking rewards like diamonds, gacha tickets, or gold):

And that should be it! In case anyone has any better advice about how to do party events, please do say so! And if anyone has any questions or if anything is confusing here, I'd be happy to clarify!

[littlewhispersofsolitude]

Writing Resources

I've decided to compile a bunch of resources for people if they need to use them. This will be updated as much as I can.

OTP Generator Links

- SFW -

✧ OTP Prompts Generator #1 - Unknown ✧ OTP Prompts Generator #2 - Unknown ✧ OTP Prompts Generator #3 - Unknown ✧ OTP Prompts Generator #4 - @/promptOTP on Twitter ✧ OTP Prompts Generator #5 - @kogami (won't let me tag them) ✧ OTP Prompts Generator #6 - @scatterpatter

- NSFW -

✧ OTP Prompts Generator #1 - @a-cure-for-writers-block ✧ OTP Prompts Generator #2 - @novaxxium ✧ OTP Prompts Generator #3 - Unknown ✧ OTP Prompts Generator #4 - Unknown

Good OTP Prompt Blogs

@otpcompendium @emswritingprompts @writing-prompt-s @writing-prompts-re @promptsamillion @prompts-for-every-need @otpprompts @lavenderotpprompts @hopeless-strawbmantic @givethispromptatry @casualwriter @writingprompts365 @promptsforthestrugglingauthor @whispers-from-the-stars @prompts-in-a-barrel @dapromptexchange @nerdingz-prompts @quick-otp-prompts @firstclassthot @novelbear @pettyprompts @nightprompts @whatifpromptss

Good Writing Related Blogs (Tips, relatable memes, etc.)

@moonlit-sunflower-books @writingdotcoffee @heywriters @wordlywriter @writingmemes @writing-memes-and-tips

General Writing Tips

Exercises and Other Things That Help With Writer's Block - @littlewhispersoftsolitude

Vocabuary

Words To Describe Facial Expressions - @introvrt-unicorn The Smut Writer's Dictionary - @maybeeatspaghetti Synonyms For 'Said' - @simping4fics Writer's Vocabulary List: Words that Sound Beautiful - @writing-is-my-anchor 26 Words To Use In Replacement Of Very - @cjsworld55 Tips To Writing Body Language - @iansfreckles Online Thesaurus/Dictionary Words To Use In Stories #1 - @/littlewhispersoftsolitude Words To Use In Stories #2 - @/littlewhispersoftsolitude Illustrating Emotions With Eyes/Eye movements - @writingquestionsanswered Alternative Words For Said - @/littlewhispersoftsolitude

Angst

Angst Prompts - @starangstvibez Short Angst Sentence Starters - @nightprompts Angst Prompts - @your-fluffy-murder-writer Random Angst Prompts - @greene-rph Angst Prompts - @solustenebris Angsty Dialogue Prompts - @fluffyomlette Assorted Angst Prompts - @person-1n-progress Annoyance One Liners - @gaycaffeinebee

Fluff

Prompts - casual affection - @malabu Saying "I love you" without saying "I love you" (Fluff) - @prompty-ping

Writing LGBTQ+ Characters

6 Pitfalls To Avoid When Writing LGBTQ+ Characters How To Write Better LGBTQ+ Characters How To Make a Fictional LGBTQ+ Character Beyond the Closet: Writing Gay Characters How To Write Gay Characters Into Your Story

NSFW Tips

How To Write A (Great!) Sex Scene 9 Tips To Writing Steamy Scenes How To Write Erotica - And a Damn Fine Sex Scene

Hope some of these help.

Much love, Milo.

[medu707]

<good night>

it’s cuddle time 

[kennyb0y-deactivated20251008]

Sano Shinichiro's Twitter Account

sano shinichiro x reader ft imaushi wakasa, akashi takeomi, arashi keizo (benkei), sano manjiro (mikey), kurokawa izana and sano emma

i was just so bored and decided why not? send asks and let me know if you want more of these with other characters 👀

taglist below

Tokyo Revengers Taglist: @bxnten @rinsie @touyasghosty @rozcdust @chaoticwh0re @sweeneyblue1 @toobsessedsstuff @187skytree @kenmasbimbo @q-the-rockaholic @queen-flower @z0inqz @k-ryuuguji @sh4nn @devinsdaydreams @medusalovessnakes @kazufuyusluv @sh4gree @yunxbin @rizakari @lordbugs @wakasasucker @rxmera @crown5 @hanken @kisekihany @kokoswhore @yeehawnana @albedos-world @eriskaitto @iwaizumisbicep @xashiui @baditalianb @savagemickey03 @aces-high @sugusshi

[studiosakuras]

in tears 😭 hope there’s a part two in the future 🖤

[dazaiosamu-s]

“I can’t believe how lucky I am. It’s the happiest feeling in the world.”

— for my most precious su ♡ @atsushisnakajima

[lesbiansanemi]

I can’t even begin to describe how impactful and powerful this scene was

I think this is one of the first times I got to see a woman genuinely rage in fiction (let alone manga/anime). This trope is almost exclusively reserved for male characters, and at that, usually because a female character died/was horrifically injured. 

So to see a female character react to grief in such a brutal, angry way felt so refreshing and raw and real. Maki didn’t react how most women in fiction do, which is to cry or quietly accept/talk about it. Maki immediately decided to act and take out her anger on those responsible, and it was beautiful. 

This scene isn’t pretty. It isn’t glamorous. It’s pure, ugly anger and I finally got to see that from a female character. This isn’t a “female empowerment” scene, like so many female fight scenes feel like. This is just genuine character development that I feel like I can actually relate to. It feels human and real. 

And on top of that 

Obviously Mai was the catalyst for this. Maki did this because of Mai. But this is also the result of Maki’s own feelings. Her resentment and spite and anger, over the abuse her family put her through, not just Mai. 

We got a female character who lost it and took out her anger and hate on the people who wronged her and her sister, rather than moving on and forgiving or something along those lines, as is common for female characters (again, especially within manga and anime) 

So yeah, I seriously can’t express how amazing this scene was. It took my breath away, as I’d rarely ever seen anything like it, and it feels so, so important.

[snake-and-mouse]

To any fic writers who worry they are wasting their time... I read a fic for a relatively small and inactive fandom about three years ago. And there was one specific scene where a character watched another dancing like an idiot to a beyonce song and it was so sweet and loving that even now years later I have that song on one of my spotify playlist so every once in a while it will play and remind me of that fic, and every time it does I smile and feel a little happier.

The stats on a fic will never really tell you if your writing touched someone. There's no numerical way to show you what impact you made. Maybe you are wasting time, or maybe you are writing something that someone will remember for a long time, something that will never fail to make them smile.

[vsrambles]

For those of you asking me how I feel about sasuke’s route so far

[korixkuma]

✨same vibes✨