(Photo for visibility and anyone spite following me.)
"You're still a girl, you faggot."
This morning's Anon hate mail called me both a girl and a faggot in the same breath, which is a pretty clear example that ideological consistency is not important to these people, only sending a message that both women and queer folks of all genders are unwelcome.
I don't really waste my time dunking on "accidentally affirming" hate mail (I'm not going to celebrate being called a faggot in this context), or, in a similar vein, pointing out logical fallacies in those who say "pronouns are recent". (I see so many allies get mired in mocking transphobes for "not understanding grammar," so I'm going to talk about that alongside this piece of hate mail.)
Y'all gotta understand that transphobes aren't attempting to meet you where you are with your understanding of gender theory and the rules of grammar -- they are just scattershotting hate and broadcasting that trans people are unwanted. (And they usually also reveal quickly who else they hate.)
Of course they know what pronouns are. Of course I am nearly 50 and it's absurd to label me as a child. And of course they wouldn't actually think of me as a gay man. (And there's no point in correcting them that I am a bi man.)
They loathe me as an openly trans man, and they have also made it clear there is no way I can "fix" myself into an acceptable woman, especially given that no woman is acceptably equal in their eyes (the use of "girl" to insult me). They just want to tell me they hate me in any form.
I'm only mentioning it here because I don't like seeing other folks trying to engage with this kind of hate on the grounds that it is "illogical" or internally inconsistent. Since when has this kind of bigotry ever been rational.
We're also speaking 2 different languages. When they say things like, "no one ever used pronouns before," they are not referring to grammar. They are talking about pronouns listed in bios and email signatures. They are talking about individuals using they/them and neopronouns. They are talking about visibly queer people.
When they call me a girl as an insult instead of a woman, they are infantalizing me, taking away my agency and further sending a message that women and girls need the controlling influence of men.
And when they call me a faggot, they are merely grasping for a slur that still is loaded with the promise of violence.
It's all just another type of dog whistle and I'm tired of this type of hate being engaged with on "logic" grounds, especially in a dunk. You are missing most of the message and how this kind of hate goes beyond just me, some random trans guy on the internet. You can't counter this with smugness.
My Anon hate will get deleted with a block, and I'll vent about it in a way that tries not to engage with the actual logical inconsistency. No good faith for bad actors.
But reminder that, while this stuff doesn't hurt me much psychologically anymore, to be spit upon regularly is still disgusting to go through. Also, this attitude is deeply rooted in the current regime, so there is actual legislative power behind those hateful words now, no matter how well I can emotionally shrug them off.
All I can do as a queer person is to persist and not be intimidated, and encourage cishet folks to knock it off with sassy clapbacks and instead say and prove in no uncertain terms that this kind of hate is unwanted.
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