I don't have friends to talk to...
.. dont have anyone I can be truly honest with.. and recently I'm feeling g brokenhearted..
The guy who I thought its the love of my life broke my heart.. we are still together, been together for over 10 years and have 3 children together but something snapped inside of me..
We've been away for almost a year due to his work, I stayed home qith kids and looking after my dad..
He came back, it was great, was so happy.. until one day he would just walk around the house accusing me of being upset and angry at him.. whilst I kept telling him that I don't feel well.. he would make quite a few seriously rude comments.. went to bed in the evening but he would carry on accusing me of being a bitch, yerp, he called me that..and just generally spread alot of hateful vicious coments which I was so confused about... eventually I did get pissed out of confusion and told him I do t understand where is all his coments coming from.. he said I've being acting wierd all day, I've been giving him cold shoulder and aparwntly gave him an angry vibe and he had enough of me being a bitch..
After series of arguments, he got up, at round 2 in the morning and started packing.. he said he is going away, back to work etc... that confused the shit out of me since I still wasn't even sure why is he upset..
He carry on rumbling round the room packing his stuff, underwear, sprayes, cables and charges.. I lied in bed confused.. questioning whole 10 years of our relationship...
Eventually I got up and told him how confused and hurt I am.. told him not a single time I was angry with him.. I'm just not feeling well!
After crying my eyes out I wwnt back to bed, turn my back on him and cried even more, he lied behind me as I shaked and weeps myself to sleep..
Next day I felt even worse.. our oldest son and my dad also wasn't well.. after contacting a doctor we've been send to have a COVID tests which came back POSITIVE!!
So in conclusion I started having covid and wasn't giving him 100% affection only coz I wasn't feeling well... and he assumed I'm angry and upset with him and treated me like shit... whilst I was feeling worse and worse.. then whwn I cried and weeped in bed he didn't even cared to hug me or apologise at least.. after tests he apologised and told me he wasn't really planning on leaving just wanted to get a reaction from me.. but I told him that's last thing I need.. we are mature and been together for long enough not to play wierd games and treat eachothwr shit.. i needed his support but I got accused of being bad wife..
Since then I'm notici g more and more wierd behaviours.. he keeps assuming that I will get upset or angry.. I am VERY understanding and supportive, I even set myself a notifications abt his favourite sport teams.. I dont mind if he plays console etc.. yet I keep feeling attacked and mistreated..
He keep saying things like: oh thats typical you, you will be bringing that up all the time.. I never bring up the past, I dont cling into past arguments.. I am so confused.. and the teasing and joking to the point my eyes tear up and then he's upset with me coz im emotional..
I do t understand.. what happened to my relationship?! I'm not a child, I don't look for arguments, I am dping my best to solve problems without major arguments .. yet I feel like I'm always the bad guy..
Probably talking to myself but oh well.. I'm just tired of not being able to talk this out with anyone.. and im so confused.. and tired
...

















