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@stumblecrumbs
Convict Simon: Are the walls bleeding or is that just me?
COI scientist Grace: ...did you get exposed to the blood ocean samples?
Convict Simon: Okay, so it is just me.
COI scientist Grace: ...
Convict Simon: ...Can you hear the whispering?
COI scientist Grace: We need to get you to medical.
Convict Simon: During my time as Dr. Grace's lab assistant, I've figured out that he is most likely sleeping with Eva Stratt, head of the COI. This means my odds of starting a romantic relationship with Grace are low, and my odds of survival in general are even lower.
Convict Simon: How important are you? I seem to be free to go anywhere on the station as long as I'm working for you...
COI scientist Grace: Oh, I'm not that important in the grand scheme of things.
COI admin Carl: The only person above you in the chain of command is Stratt.
Convict Simon: ...Eva Stratt? Leader of the COI Eva Stratt?!
Grace: Yes but Carl is exaggerating.
Carl: I'm not.
COI engineer Rocky: Rocky make submarine so Simon can help Grace Rocky do big science!
Convict Simon: Oh fuck no I'm not letting you weld me into a death trap so I can get blasted with X-rays and die from radiation exposure. I've seen those things. it's why I decided to become a test subject!
Rocky: Simon think Rocky make shit submarine!? Rocky submarine amaze amaze amaze!!!
COI scientist Grace: It's true the submarine uses sonar and has all the bells and whistles, even air conditioning! It's perfectly safe, which is why I will go.
Simon & Rocky: No!
Ava: Dr. Grace, you were given the convict to use as a test subject. Please stop sending him on errands.
COI scientist Grace: Why?
Ava: Having the butcher of filament station running around is stressing people out.
Grace: Well, I'll need a better reason than that he is very helpful. I save so much time, and he seems so genuinely happy to help.
Simon: I got the astrophage sample.
Ava: YOU GAVE HIM ACCESS TO EXPLOSIVES!?
Grace: Yeah, I need some for testing.
Ava: ...
Convict Simon: So you going to do horrible experiments on me or something. They said I was a test subject now.
COI scientist Grace: Umm, I'm a microbiologist, and you're not microscopic, so I wouldn't even know where to start with that.
Convict Simon: Oh, so what now?
COI scientist Grace: I guess you can be my lab assistant?
Convict Simon: Yeah alright.
COI scientist Grace: I just need you to get a sample of that skeleton so I can see if it's water based life!
Simon: Are you fucking kidding me!? Of course it is!
COI scientist Grace: You don't know that for sure!
COI & Eden: We must aquire the scientist!
Simon & Rocky: Preparing for war
Grace: Guys they literally do not have the tech to land on Erid and even if they did they can't survive the atmosphere.
Simon & Rocky: Well why didn't you say so earlier!?
Grace: Because you didn't tell me what was happening!?
Simon: Oh we didn't really have like a proper school. I do know to read and all that so I know enough.
Grace: Yeah, you're attending my class starting tomorrow.
Grace: Oh, Simon is great he always keeps the place spotless... His organization system leaves something to be desired, it's been weeks, and I still can't figure out where the knives are.
Simon: At first, I hid the knives so Grace couldn't attack me with them while I was sleeping. Now I'm just hiding them because he's too clumsy to have unsupervised knife access.
Simon: I'll cook. (As if I'd eat food made by someone else. I'm not stupid enough to give someone the chance to poison me)
Grace: Thank you so much I hate cooking.
Scientific notes:
I accidentally used a small eridian child as a skipping stone.
I was worried until it walked out of the water and asked to go again.
The children have formed a line.
My arm is tired.
Eridian diplomatic spaceship headed to earth for first proper contact.
Simon: Holding onto the airlock like a cat holding onto its crate before going to the vet. I'M NOT GOING TO EARTH WITHOUT YOU!
Grace: Trying to wrangle Simon into the ship. Yes, you are it's for your own good! You'll like it, I promise!
Simon: I've managed to secure my position by intimidating the scientist to the point I can just do whatever I want even take his food. I feel bad about it but this is just how things work and I will survive no matter the cost.
Grace: I'm glad Simon feels so at home here he's okay with just walking into my house and taking food. *refills fridge with food from the excessively massive stockpile of supplies created to remove all possible risk of ever starving again
Grace: Simon must have some ocean/water related trauma in his past. He watches me like a hawk when I go swimming.
Simon: Fuck yeah shirtless Grace.