cat parent

Ju • NY • 25

[toastbutteregg]

[stvtic--screams]

literally me lmao

[ink-poisoning]

i do not identify as a boy or girl, i identify as a nuisance. an irritant. a fool and a problem

[dankmemeuniversity]

[physics-dirtbag]

Me every single night:

[afloweroutofstone]

[candyredterezii]

[lynngunnstattoos]

Photo by blackstar4life

[cat-memes-only]

[dat-goat-boi]

Visit Original Link

My content gets shittier every day.

[the-other-greengrass-girl]

this cured my depressive episode

[dae-by-day-deactivated20200918]

I’m evil villain laughing

[misinterpreted-alphabet-soup]

How the actual cinnamon toast fuck did this narrator get through reading those, like, at all.

[dat-goat-boi]

Being a professional actor helps <3

[mintbees]

okay americans how’d i do

[dr-gloom]

There are so many parts of this that just genuinely brighten my day

[stvtic--screams]

tag yourself i’m rejected florida

[kabaks]

homophobia is ok when it makes me laugh

[kabaks]

all of you reblogging this better be gay or else

[seriousjones]

[theycallmey]

we live in the best possible version of cyberpunk

[heavenslittlemachine-deactivate]

this is how people born after 1995 hack. when i started hacking or “phreaking” in the late 80s i would get in the zone by snorting homemade amphetamines & listening to harsh noise cassettes while banging out code for 24+ hour periods on my atari. mostly i would write text-to-speech features into the operating system so the computer said swear words when you double-click. i remember when html was invented i got so frustrated because theres so many greater than and less than signs and you have to put them around everything. in early january of 2001 i changed Google’s header to a gif of a pissing orangutan and the resulting publicity turned the website into a household name 

[benepla-deactivated20200506]

never have a been more devastated to scroll over a url and see its deactivated who are you ma'am

[coolxatu]

what if god was one of us…

[girlwithseriousproblems]

Not diagnosing a child doesn't mean they won't notice they're different. It just means that instead of thinking "I'm struggling because I have autism/adhd/anxiety/depression/schizophrenia", they will just conclude that they are struggling because they are stupid, weak, annoying, unlovable, etc.

[notevenhisfuckingname]

Customer (derogatory)

[narwhalsarefalling]

MY TA SHOT SOMEONE IN THE FOOT AND THE PROFESSOR WAS SO FUCKING QUICK LMAOOO

[narwhalsarefalling]

some context 

1. my TA, Ralph, shot his girlfriend’s abusive ex in the foot

2. abusive ex was also a sex offender

3. he shot him when ex came buy to pick some stuff up from girlfriend and tried to take some of Ralph’s items as well

4. ex is stable and alive in a hospital

5. i didn’t do assignment 8 so i am very happy

[narwhalsarefalling]

some more Facts About Ralph

he is whiter then snow. this man is pure 100% american redneck in everything but the politics. this is intimidating if you dont know him because he owns like 3 different guns but also has animated discussions about “how his sister should be able to get married” when you bring up lgbt rights. his sister isnt even gay or trans or anything, he just thinks that LGBT rights also means that the lady should propose when she wants to. hes a little confused but he got the spirit. upon finding out that i am queer he said, word for word “THATS FUCKING RADICAL HOMIE” 

in the first week of school he snorted a line of pepper in the cafeteria and threw up.

the only other crime hes committed before was accidently dropping a weight from his balcony and cracking the sidewalk. which is technically destruction of public property but the judge basically laughed at him and have him 10 hours of community service

this man once walked me home when i stayed late at the lab and talked to me animatedly about breeding brine shrimp for different lab purposes. absolutely captivated by this discussion. i trust him with my life

[whitepeopletwitter]

[stalling]

The most realistic part about this is that this is clearly a funeral, which means you died a week before this and the manager still didn’t plan to cover your shifts

[neverceasingtides]

I was hospitalized when I was 19 due to severe reactions to a medication and texted my boss to let him know before giving my phone to my mom so I could go in for a procedure. While I was in (with no access to my phone) my boss decided that

A) I was definitely lying and just skipping out on work

B) The appropriate thing to do would be to call my mom (she was listed as my emergency contact) to let her know that I was lying about being in the hospital and skipping work

C) When my mom informed him that I was not lying, and was in fact in the hospital and it was quite serious, that it was appropriate to demand to know when I’d be back and

D) Inform my mom repeatedly how inconvenient this was for him and how difficult it was going to be to have my shifts covered

My mom, in essence, told him to go fuck himself and that I’d be back when the doctors told me I was able. But don’t think for a moment that this meme is anything less than completely accurate. Bosses are the worst.

[michellespenscratchz]

No, the most realistic part is that the boss himself was able to leave work, go to the funeral, and bitch that you weren’t at work.

[perchov]

[37q-archive]

this was the single greatest moment in modern television

[frenchinhalechanelxoxo]