Sirius had left. He'd run straight to the arms of his friends, and left his brother alone.
Strangely enough, Regulus didn't feel betrayed. Maybe he should, but this was always bound to happen. He'd known it before he'd accidentally discovered that Lupin was a werewolf, before Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, and even before Sirius had left for Hogwarts that very first time.
Sirius had been worried, then. Nothing he said in words, but he'd given him an awkward hug, pat his back, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. He'd looked into his eyes, questioning.
Regulus hadn't known, but he'd nodded nonetheless. His brother would be free. His brother would be happy. His brother could do no wrong.
Sirius's yearning for freedom had always been too strong, and now he'd found enough love amongst his friends to fill up the space their parents had left. Regulus knew deep down that he could have run too, either with Sirius or to Pandora's, but he was all too aware of the potential consequences.
If only one son ran? Then there'd be trouble with his parents and the Dark Lord, sure, but ultimately, Sirius would be labeled the nuisance, the disappointment, the disgrace. If both sons ran away? Then, the entire family was disgraced. Regulus was too scared of the Dark Lord for that to happen. He was scared of what might happen to his parents, his relatives, his cousins. Although his feelings about his parents were mixed, he didn't wish them harm. Narcissa, too, had deflected questions away from him far too many times.
Sirius hadn't realized any of this, he was sure. He remained blissfully unaware that if Regulus ran too, neither would be free. Their parents would never let that happen. Always impulsive and headstrong, Sirius was. And he was supposed to be the older brother. How odd. Regulus loved him.
Regulus thinks back to that silent question. Will he be okay?
He's not sure, even now, but like five years ago, he ignores his doubt, pushes it into the recesses of his heart, and nods, once, in the dark. Regulus doesn't know what he wants, and he doesn't have all the answers, but that night, he sleeps secure in the knowledge that somewhere out there, Sirius is safe.
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