Moosing Under the Influence

Drunk moosen are a blight upon the wilderness, but what's worse are moosen when they're hungover.... Sweet Jeeves in Glastonbury! Just grumpy and belligerent bastards. Enby/39

[claudia-kishi]

The guys on Wall Street are a little more… formal in the way they dress. Those are costumes.

[the-shepherd-of-fire]

It's that time of the year again

[antikeisala]

If you needed to guard something that didn’t need guarding, possibly because no one in their right mind would want to steal it, then Corporal Nobbs of the City Watch was, for want of a better way of describing him, and in the absence of any hard biological evidence to the contrary, your man.

[petslifeworld]

Having the time of ferret's life!

[pratchettquotes]

"Did anything about that conversation strike you as normal?" said Moist, as they stepped out into the sunlight.

"Actually, I thought it went very well," said Adora Belle.

Terry Pratchett, Making Money

[pratchettquotes]

"And you, I think, should be promoted to Captain."

"Ye-es. I agree, sir. That would be good for Ankh-Morpork. But I won't command the Watch, if that's what you mean."

"Why not?"

"Because I could command the Watch. Because...people should do things because an officer tells them. They shouldn't do it just because Corporal Carrot says so. Just because Corporal Carrot is...good at being obeyed." Carrot's face was carefully blank.

"An interesting point."

Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

[aeshnacyanea2000]

“Lord Vetinari’s rules: if it takes an Igor to bring you back, you were dead. Briefly dead, it’s true, which is why the murderer will be briefly hanged. A quarter of a second usually does it.”

— Terry Pratchett - Unseen Academicals

[pratchettquotes]

"We've always looked beyond the walls for invaders," he said. "We always thought change came from outside, usually on the point of a sword. And then we look around and find that it comes from inside the head of someone you wouldn't notice in the street. In certain circumstances it may be convenient to remove the head, but there seem to be such a lot of them these days."

He gestured toward the busy map.

"A thousand years ago we thought the world was a bowl," he said. "Five hundred years ago we knew it was a globe. Today we know it is flat and round and carried on the back of a turtle." He turned and gave the High Priest another smile. "Don't you wonder what shape it will turn out to be tomorrow?"

Terry Pratchett, The Truth

[pratchettquotes]

"The supreme ruler, OK," he said, starting to stroll forward again.

"OK."

"But that's not right, see? One man with the power of life and death."

"But if he's a good man--" Carrot began.

"What? What? OK. OK. Let's believe he's a good man. But his second-in-command--is he a good man too? You'd better hope so. Because he's the supreme ruler too, in the name of the king. And the rest of the court...they've got to be good men. Because if just one of them's a bad man the result is bribery and patronage."

"The Patrician's a supreme ruler," Carrot pointed out. He nodded to a passing troll. "G'day, Mr. Carbuncle."

"But he doesn't wear a crown or sit on a throne and he doesn't tell you it's right that he should rule," said Vimes. "I hate the bastard. But he's honest. Honest like a corkscrew."

"Even so, a good man as king--"

"Yes? And then what? Royalty pollutes people's minds, boy."

Terry Pratchett, Men At Arms

[pratchettquotes]

"But...arrest Vetinari? I can't--"

Vimes stopped, because his ears had caught up with him. And because that was the point, wasn't it? If you could arrest anyone, then that's what you had to do. You couldn't turn round and say "but not him." Ahmed would snigger. Old Stoneface would turn in all five of his graves.

"I can, can't I?" he said sadly. "Oh, all right. Put out a description, Dorfl."

Terry Pratchett, Jingo

[pratchettquotes]

"Sir, it will show people in Uberwald that Ankh-Morpork is a multicultural society, you see?" said Carrot.

"Oh, I see. 'People like us.' People you can do business with," said Vimes, glumly.

"Sometimes," Vetinari said, testily, "it really does seem to me that the culture of cynicism in the Watch is...is..."

"Insufficient?" said Vimes.

Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

[alena-draws]

Request by @crying-over-glass-queer . Vetinari and his little doggie :D You see the design is more or less just Paul Kidby’s design, but it just fits so perfectly. I hope you like how he turned out! I enjoyed drawing that face a lot. 

[aeshnacyanea2000]

“And then you found that what you really wanted was power, and there were much politer ways of getting it. And then you realized that power was a bauble. Any thug had power. The true prize was control. Lord Vetinari knew that. When heavy weights were balanced on the scales, the trick was to know where to place your thumb.”

— Terry Pratchett - The Fifth Elephant

[pratchettquotes]

"You know, I'm really rather pleased," said Lord Vetinari quietly.

Vimes stared at the door until his eyebrows ached. And then, just as random patterns in cloud suddenly, without changing in any way, become a horse's head or a sailing ship, he saw what he'd been looking at all along.

A sense of terrifying admiration overcame him.

He wondered what it was like in the Patrician's mind. All cold and shiny, he thought, all blued steel and icicles and little wheels clicking along like a huge clock. The kind of mind that would carefully consider its own downfall and turn it to advantage.

It was a perfectly normal dungeon door, but it all depended on your sense of perspective.

In this dungeon the Patrician could hold off the world.

All that was on the outside was the lock.

All the bolts and bars were on the inside.

Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

[aeshnacyanea2000]

“Why is this man ruling just one city? he thought. Why isn’t he ruling the world? Is this how he treats other people? It’s like being a puppet. The difference is, he arranges for you to pull your own strings.”

— Terry Pratchett - Going Postal

[pratchettquotes]

"Tell me, Leonard," he said, "Has it ever occurred to you that one day wars will be fought with brains?"

Leonard picked up his coffee cup.

"Oh dear. Won't that be rather messy?" he said.

Vetinari sighed again.

"Not perhaps as messy as the other sort," he said, trying the coffee. It was really rather good.

Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

[wolveswolves]

For the anon who requested pictures of wolves with plushies a while back - Arctic wolf (Canis lupus arctos) called Riot with an Easter bunny plushie at the Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary

Pictures by Rae McCue