For a moment, Haseo flinched– crimson hues growing wide before relaxing. He almost wanted to complain at how stupid of a question it was– if it bothered him– but..when did he ever get the chance to confess his turmoil? Being strong– moving on was the thing he knew how to do. If he couldn’t pick himself back up time and time again, then he never would have made it as far as he did.
Eyelids fell shut with a sigh, silently crossing his arms as if he were seriously contemplating his next answer.
“..of course it bothered me. All of it did, but I never would have learned a damn thing if I wallowed in self pity all the time.” Haseo finally replied, gesturing outward with his hand. “..Shino, Alkaid, Ovan..there isn’t a day that goes by that it still doesn’t haunt me. Even now when they’re safe, I still worry if what I did was right– if maybe one day, AIDA or Cubia will return. Having closure won’t stop the nightmares that won’t leave me or you the hell alone. It’s just something we gotta live with.” His voice held a certain bitterness, fists curling tightly against his chest. “…you said it yourself, The World isn’t just a game..I was just too stupid at the time to realize it.”
His next words were soft, uncharacteristically sincere for the Rogue.
“..if it wasn’t for you guys, I never would have been able to live with myself.”
Atoli stayed deathly quiet as Haseo replied, nodding at his direction. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one who had trouble comprehending all of this events that had transpired. It’s not like they could even tell anyone, either. Even if CC Corp didn’t cover it up, who would believe it?
And how could CC Corp get away with all of it, anyways? Atoli had thought it was just a normal video game company... but, she ended that train of thought and nodded at Haseo’s words. The nightmares wouldn’t leave, that was right. Hell, Atoli wondered if she’d ever be able to sleep comfortably without the fear of nightmares. But step by step, she’d just have to confront it. Just something to deal with.
But whatever she thought Haseo would say, it wasn’t that. “... Haseo...”
“... I don’t know what I’d do without all of you, either,” she admitted. “Sakaki was... my world for so long. Just him and Moon Tree,” she admitted, her eyes watering offline. “What he would have done, the person I’d still be... I never could have changed without you in my life. For the first time in my life, I feel like I don’t hate myself. I think you’re all the first real friends I’ve ever had,” she admitted.
“... Besides, new mornings always come after nightmares, right?”