entropy. @subterfuschia - Tumblr Blog

We really need a toy.

Because I’m tired of the cognitive dissonance in my experience where my body looks like I’m having a good time but my brain is like “wow this could be better, this could be amplified, I’m nowhere near where I should be for this orgasm to happen.”

He says it’s my decision what toy I get but also I kinda want him to buy it for me because I want to be a princess.

I just want to try because I realize I’ve never been able to orgasm ANYWHERE except alone in a locked room basically. & I’d really like to push out of that experience & be able to orgasm outside of like my bedroom & that one time I was super horny & masturbated with a sandwich bag at work in the back room because it was dire & I was alone.

I just don’t know how to branch out of that, so maybe a toy will help?

:( Help me. I just want to cum & feel satisfied by my partner & I don’t know how to do that. Like what am I still holding back?

#text post

just remembered my man slapped my p*ssy once after he made me sq**rt & it was so cute the way he smiled at me after whew

he like restrained my hands & was doing the thing he be doin and he started slapping my p*ssy a little bit & it was so cute i was like wowwww aaaaaaa

like it’s very sad i don’t actually c*m like in a noticeable way but it’s still very fun.

i want to get a wireless toy but i haven’t found the right one yet.

#text

legit just saw the craziest p*rn of my young life entitled Kira Finds Her Motivation & deadass like they went & did 27 fuckin positions like a third of the karma fuckin sutra in 30 minutes i mean i got the nut & it was amazing but after i just kept watching cus they just KEPT GETTING UP & SWITCHING POSITIONS and she kept YELLING when he made her squirt which was at least like five times and he kept on finger banging her super hard like ow sis does that not hurt!!!!

like my man & i do like three max four positions bcs we are super low level activity people... like would i like us to do more than that? probably maybe like 6-7 max cus my body hurts but watching that was so fucking crazy like at one point the dude was fucking stepping on her HEAD it was so ridiculous omfg (also he gave her a pair of see through footless tights n we rly believed she had a vibrator in them, we love kira noir.)

a lot of the sex we have is very paced out, like we roll around, he kisses me, i’m kissing him, we bite, we leave marks, he’s got a mouth full of titty, leaving marks, playing with the nipples a lot, more kisses, i like to grind on his b*n*r, more kisses, more bites, more marks, he f*ng*rs me & it fucks me up lmao he slaps my ass, he’s grabbing quite legitimately all fucking over me which is great, sucking on the t*tty, more fingering, i’m burying my face into his shoulder because i just need to be anchored & i’m moaning/whimpering/giggling into his ear & he like GROWLS sometimes he’ll be like “yeah” & part of me hates it but part of me FUCKING LOVES IT ooh wee

it’s not overly aggressive it’s very tender but has aggressive moments like ass slapping & choking which is very necessary for me like whew it’s just super good

we used to have sex once when we went to sleep once when we woke up and now it’s not like that & i’m tryna introduce that back into the repertoire

when we were in another state we were like going to have sex & i was saying all this wild shit like i wanted to really fuck him so hard just like aggressive and i just remembered him like chuckling & then we just got comfortable as fuck cus we were both so drunk & i started fucking CRYING because he tells me that he’s said i love you before but never like this FJFJCKAKKSDNDBHRJSJDB & it was after we got rip roaringly drunk at dinner & talked about our stupid exes & it was so fun just listening to him tell me stuff oh god that was so fun, literally a day/trip/time i will cherish forever.

ever since i started having sex with him it’s been so positive & healing for me like it’s so much fun honestly i love having fun with him bro 😢😢😢😢 love his dick 🤗🤗🤗

learned i could deep throat and squirt with this man! he helps me have fun. love the shit out of him, fuck

#text #experience

i literally think about breaking up with my boyfriend like every day lmao i just think we’re eventually going to be moving in different directions i don’t know

like i just think i need to live more of the life i’m meant to. i don’t think i should settle down with him. i like the idea of knowing him but not necessarily being with him forever. i think he needs to be by himself. like REALLy be by himself. but also, it would be nice to grow together.

what am i afraid of? i’m really not sure.

i fear sometimes that without me he will backslide into bad habits. but honestly i think with him i have backslid into bad habits.

#text

everyone’s cumming but me!

The most sensitive part of your body during masturbation is your ears listening for footsteps.

realfeelings

breaking-him

the conversation has to be as good as the sex

idk if i mentioned this

but i asked my man what porn he watches & he said masturbation porn & i almost started crying lmao so sweet omg i can’t believe how lucky i am

#text

last night was rough because i really wanted to fuck my man & again my ass lied about an orgasm

they’re specific lies now as opposed to omitting the truth & it’s stressing me out

i don’t want our sex to be based on lies that’s not fair

also i deserve a nut & i am the one standing in my own way about it

we have good sex, sex that’s focused on me, but like it’s not finished with an orgasm ever on my end & i feel like it’s because i’m too ingrained in performance.

like i kinda wanna try being blindfolded & gagged because then i don’t have to make noise i feel like that’s the element of enjoyment i’m still trying to foster for him since i really don’t do that much all the time?

i wanna see if i can talk to a holistic sex therapist about this because like i want to have orgasms by someone else for once! my hitachi wand doesn’t count!! & he’s doing all the right stuff so i don’t know why there’s no orgasm? it’s always like a shadow of a thought to be there.

idk i take this very serious. i’m past being afraid to orgasm with someone else because that’s a piece of my soul, i wanna give him my soul. i just think something doesn’t feel right for some reason.

i feel like i’m too intense & maybe i could chill out. idk. meh.

i will figure this out. i am determined to have a whole positive sexual experience that doesn’t leave me having to grab for my hitachi afterwards & feeling very poorly about it.

part of me wants to get like r i p r o a r i n g l y drunk & tell him all these things but i also don’t want to hurt his feelings.

girl idk

thanks for coming to my ted talk

#text #orgasm #lies #relationships