C12H22O11

25, Canada, Nerdy student, Escort

[sucrosebabe-blog]

I just got $300 worth of gift cards from that annoying client that also brings me bottles of rum and I have not so affectionately nicknamed fishy. Damn. He has effectively thwarted my attempts to slowly ghost on him. 👻

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Oh my god my fav client just came back! He’s the really hot one from way back when that I was worried might not have fallen madly in love with me. He’s hot and a little dom and such a fucking sarcastic asshole that pretty sure if I didn’t have Superman I’d totally ask him out. Oh my god I can still smell him on me and it’s fucking heaven. Mmmm. God I love sexy ass clients. 😍 Also, I took Superman shopping for a suit for a fancy event we’re going to and oh my god. He looks, in his own words, “sophistisexy”. Seriously. Hot as hell and all grown up lol

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Life update

Love life: Things with Superman are complicated, but he's honestly fucking amazing. He gave me a manicure yesterday (with a lot of guidance) lol Work life: Things have been slow since January(still doing pretty well, but it takes a lot of effort), but today was awesome. Hopefully a trend. I like 💰. Personal life: I have one of those? Lol 98% of my life right now is Superman and work. The other 2% is helping out my parents with shit. I did go to the library though so new books for waiting around at work 😊

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Trigger phrases

"I'm a nice guy" "Trust me" "I would never hurt you" "I promise"

[sucrosebabe-blog]

I think I have permanent stubble burn.

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhhhh I’ve been hanging out at work (I have a separate incall) almost all damn day hoping for one more appointment. Like I had one at 2:30pm and I’ve got one scheduled for 11pm and I even put up an ad, but all I’m getting is crickets! (And two new clients who want appts next week lol)

I’m soooooo bored oh my god. I literally just wanted one more hour appointment to make my goal for today. Just one. Is that too much to ask? :’(

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

I feel like almost all of the guys who’ve had an unreciprocated thing for me developed it because I listened to them and was emotionally supportive, etc., but they themselves never thought to do the same for me. Which ended up with this weird situation where I knew them super well but they literally had zero idea about who I was as a person other than “listens really well and is emotionally supportive.”

Like, they didn’t know the first thing about what was important to me, my beliefs, my family, my work, how I spent my time when I wasn’t with them. Because not a single one of them wanted  to know. They would just… never ask, or they’d ask politely and when I started to answer they’d show extreme disinterest and change the subject back to themselves.

But they still thought they loved me, because to them that’s all love is - being emotionally supported by someone. It did not even occur to them that the support could ever go both ways, and they were always bewildered about why I never loved them “back” - even though all they gave me to love was a person so self-obsessed that he couldn’t see me at all.

Emotional labour is so, so important to be aware of in relationships. It has to have some kind of balance, or the person performing it will just burn out. And a relationship consisting only of one person demanding and demanding and never giving back is not love. Love is not a demand. It can accept, and it can ask, but love listens, love cares about how its requests affect the beloved. Love wants to give back.

[sucrosebabe-blog]

So I'm having breakfast at Superman's place! Which is massive because he found me online and confronted me about it. I had about a billion heart attacks when he did because he didn't tell me how he found out, and I had no idea how he'd feel about it. But he was surprisingly cool! And when I freaked out since I was obviously upset and afraid, he talked me down and then picked me up and got pizza and we watched TV and cuddled on the couch at his place. He comforted me after finding out I'm an escort and that I'd been lying to him. He asked a few questions, and has been insanely respectful this whole time 😊 He's off making me breakfast right now! I honestly don't know if I deserve this guy. Is this real life?

[sucrosebabe-blog]

So Superman knows.

[sucrosebabe-blog]

no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Aaaahhhhh I'm so indecisive. I don't know what to do. Superman wants to be super sweet and invite me over to make me dinner and watch movies and drink rum tomorrow. But it's a Friday night and I feel like I desperately need to make up for only working one day last week since I have to buy a whole new fucking car since I totalled mine. Problem is, if I actually had appointments scheduled it'd be super easy to just say I'm busy, but I have nothing, and I don't want to say no to just sit at work for nothing. And I'm not working Saturday night or Sunday, so.... Aaaarggg, sweet romantic gestures or money? :'(

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Is it me? Is it my pics? Is it my personality? Why is it so slow? Like I've been waiting around all day and it's been so dead! I even put an ad up and the only people messaging me is one regular for an appointment tonight and some "male escort" who wants a duo partner and someone to "have fun" with. Like. Dude. I already have someone. Unless you're a god, I ain't fucking you for free. Ahhhhhhh I just want to work and make too much money!

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Woo! So yesterday I had my first shopping & dinner date with a client! I feel like this is exactly how it's supposed to go with a SD, literally made $1200 to get expensive gifts, go shopping and spend hundreds of dollars of his money, be silly and wear funky hats, go out for an awesome meal, drink free drinks, and then go back to his hotel for a couple hours. And he's actually pretty interesting so it's not super painful spending time with him! :) Not saying I didn't have to work for it, my feet hurt like crazy from wearing heels all night, I had to pretend to love a dress I wasn't too crazy about, my back screamed at me for leaning over him to give him a super crazy long HJ & BJ (he likes things relaxed & slow-it's why he comes back to me-well partly) and fucking all smushed up with a massively full tummy was not particularly enjoyable. But I mean, all considering, I had a pretty fucking awesome day! :)

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Money & Rich Men

When it comes to men with money and sharing that money with a hot young thing like you, I just think of it like if it were the other way around and I was the rich one. Because 100% if I cared about/wanted someone and knew money was a quick fix to most of their problems, I'd be throwing it their way. Even now I actually have to limit what I let myself spend on family and friends because I want to treat them and make their lives easier and watch their face light up when I give them something, especially if it's nothing to me. So in my opinion, if a rich man gives a damn about you, it shouldn't be a question of "should I finesse or no", it should just happen because he knows you'll appreciate it. When you ask he should go above and beyond. If you have bills to pay, one word and it should be done. None of this pulling teeth to get a single penny out of him bullshit. None of this "if you really cared you wouldn't ask" or "it doesn't feel real if I'm giving you money" bullshit. Nah. If he's loaded and cares about you, it shouldn't even be a question. You should be living in luxury same as him.

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Ugh. Everything feels so pointless right now, like why am I doing this? My bills are paid, got a little in savings, can't I just take like the rest of the year off from life and come back when I have some damn motivation?

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Valentine's!

So I’ve got a super nerdy ass date with Superman this evening and I’m so freaking excited! :D he’s been so goddamned cute all morning sending me silly Valentine’s day gifs and saying cute things and omg I’m falling for him way too hard😝

He’s pretty much me but older and better at basic life skills lol (my ass is still better though 😉)

And last night, a potential fwb from like last month that I’d slept with and then got all weird for a week and ghosted, I’m calling him Ninja lol, popped up out of nowhere. He said his elder told him his next relationship was going to be “the one” and he freaked out when I said I wasn’t looking for a committed, monogamous relationship (obv he doesn’t know I’m an escort, but I wasn’t okay with pretending he was the only guy I’m sleeping with)

So… I want both of them! Lol Ninja is super hot and fun and exciting and adventurous and feely/spiritual and my age. Superman is cute and older and more comfortable and nerdy and better in bed and has an actual degree and a decent & super flexible job(for now) and is pretty much me if I had been popular/in school sports lol

So I’m super excited to see where things go 😊

[sucrosebabe-blog]

Important message

If you are a Civilian Male: Do not message me to be "friends" I do not and will not meet clients from tumblr I have no interest in sleeping with you for free. And since I just mentioned I don't see clients from here, I will also not sleep with you for money. The only exception: you are filthy rich and intend on spending tens of thousands of dollars on me. Moral of the story: Stop wasting my damn time- I am not going to fuck you.