Feeling Confidence

Looking for subs to dominate

[suffocatinginmyskin]

Something bad will happen if I don’t obey.

If I don’t binge and purge properly

If I don’t eat properly

If I don’t chew and spit my food

If I don’t cut

If I don’t clean my room for two fucking hours only to go downstairs to the kitchen

If I don’t listen to her

I hate you but I love you

I can’t stop

I can’t do this anymore I say

But I do it anyway

[suffocatinginmyskin]

Anyone looking for a DOM/SUB relationship?

Dm me ur info as long as you 20yo and up I’m down for it. I will be a financial dom if you like to be called names, being humiliated in any way, or anything abusive or anything of that nature Hit Me Up

😜😜😂😂😏😏😏

If your looking for that type of relationship I’ll be willing as long as you don’t expect me to do UNNECESSARY shit. I will gladly do whatever you like as long as it’s in both of our boundaries

I will talk all other details in my DMS if anyone is interested. Doesn’t matter what gender or race you are. I ACCEPT everyone.

I’m online a lot of the time but if you can’t reach me I’ll see your message within a day or two.

Have a great night

[suffocatinginmyskin]

So today is day 1 of my water fast

Wish me luck

I got a buddy so she’s helping sort of but she’s not experienced at all

So if anyone with an eating disorder with real experience wants to do this fast with me DM me or use

my discord- LouseyLee907

or Snapchat- https://www.snapchat.com/add/eldbossbaby900?share_id=OEU5OEVDODktNzAxRC00MTEwLTk4NjgtMTA1MUMyQjAxNjdB&locale=en_US

I’m not on here much but I will text back

eldbossbaby900 on Snapchat

Ayanna Miller is on Snapchat!

[suffocatinginmyskin]

Shitty week

Shitty day

Shitty month

Shitty year

And so on but the important thing is that I’m still alive but I don’t want to be I didn’t choose to be here

Looking for a buddy to talk with

No coaches or creepy shit out there

I didn’t mind it at first but now it’s just old and it’s always the same shit.

Rn me I’m up all night most of the time

[suffocatinginmyskin]

Failure is a bitch

Fasted today successfully

But still disappointed with the number on the scale

Fuck you voice in my head and fuck me for letting my FUCKING GAURD DOWN WHICH I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN.

[suffocatinginmyskin]

What’s the point…I know it always happens

I fail, try again, fail, repeat.

Gosh I’m lying to everyone now.

The storm is here and I need help

If anyone wants a buddy lmk bc I feel so alone right now…

“Well why don’t you just kill yourself?”

“Bc idk I’m too much of a coward”

[suffocatinginmyskin]

What’s the point to staying on this floating rock

Only to serve the rich

Earn close to nothing in money

Only to grown old and still having to work

Nothing is worth doing that

Fuck the world for existing

[suffocatinginmyskin]

I’m not sure what to do

Why was I born

Nothing makes sense anymore

[suffocatinginmyskin]

I’ll be up all night so lmk if anyone wants to talk, vent, etc

[suffocatinginmyskin]

Weird it’s been a couple years since I’ve been in here

Feeling the old feelings and idk if I’m in a relapse but it sure as hell looks like one

This is the only app where I can find other ppl with ED’s that don’t judge me or suspect something like a scam for money or whatever

[suffocatinginmyskin]

You know I wish I was dead

I wish you had listened when I said I was so sick

[suffocatinginmyskin]

Idk what to do anymore

Emily is more active than other but I don’t want to be hospitalized again....ugh why

Idk why I named my ed but I felt necessary as a nearly 20yo with no college degrees which I don’t care for anyway

School only makes me worse bc I’m so stressed out and anxious all the time maybe that’s why I can’t finish my ged

I don’t fucking care anymore

I just want to die

but I guess that’s my normal

Getting so high everyday and not caring about my life

So much death this year why not add another to the collection

*sigh*

Emily probably won’t let me eat today but I don’t care

Fuck you emily and all you rituals and systems and numbers. 10 fucking years you have taken so much from my life, my family’s trust, my friends trust and not I can’t even trust myself.

[suffocatinginmyskin]

I feel nothing

Numb

Why can’t I be like this all the time?

Why do I have to be empathetic to everyone I see

Can’t I be selfish?

Ugh I fucking hate society and it’s trust issues and disgusting people in it that bully other ppl just because they can.

Why can’t we be kind to one another instead of killing each other

The world is a fucked up place and I hate it

I just want to die

[suffocatinginmyskin]

You disgusting pig.

Yeah fucking stuff ur face

You will die alone and be alone all ur life

Don’t fucking eat that shit

You know it’s bad for you

You know what will happen if you do

Don’t bother exercising

Just fucking die

Piece of shit

You scum

You are nothing

Nothing but an ant in the world

Your gonna cut yourself?

Oh great

Do that maybe you will feel something

Maybe you will be something better than yourself

Nah never mind

Nothing is good enough

[suffocatinginmyskin]

I guess I back here again

mental health low and idk what to do

So tired of living but I’ll keep going I guess

[suffocatinginmyskin]

my mental state is shit again and my ed is paying the price. Going to sleep at midnight just to wake up again at 2am and 5am and 7am and so on all the way up until 12pm if I allow it.

Wondering if cutting is the answer to it bc I already self harm on a daily basis but it’s not cutting. I’m so fucked up and dealing with everything in my life rn is just exhausting.

[suffocatinginmyskin]

I dont care about myself anymore and it doesn’t fucking matter anyway.

I’m numb and upset, don’t even wanna fucking to places anymore and I constantly worry about my future. I don’t want to even buy myself nice things. I procrastinate to the max and even when I’m exhausted I fucking don’t care. I fucking hate myself.

Just let me die and never come back to this world.

I feel like this now and I could feel better but who knows?