the anomaly has escaped

a queer, fat, mentally ill black fem is loose in your area

[sugar-pastries]

weee tags

reblogbaby - all my reblogs girlie

sugarptalks - all my silly little thoughts

sugarpart - your girl's art

sugarpwrites - me writing stuff

[sugar-pastries]

been feeling sick with guilt over underperforming. it comes and goes, i guess. i'm just so afraid of the unkind thoughts other people might be having about me. i do a lot of contorting trying to stop anyone from disliking me or the things i do. it's exhausting. so much of my self-worth sits on the delicate branch of another person's fleeting thoughts. or at least the thoughts i think they're having.

fucked up thing is those unkind thoughts are technically my own. a bunch of people live in my head to tell me what i'm doing wrong. it feels inescapable so much of the time.

but sometimes i can imagine a version of myself who knows nothing could ever stop her from loving me. she's a part of me so devoted that her love is unconditional. i don't have to be kind, smart, successful, reliable, or anything for her to love me. other people don't have to accept me for her to love me. somehow, after everything that's happened, she's still here with me, unwavering and stubborn.

i'm trying to listen to her voice more than the others. i think she's my only way out.

[drawyourheart]

@sugar-pastries oc Chastity in a micro bikini 🏳️‍⚧️ she/her

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weeeeeeehehehejjajajaj

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don't let that fascist fuckwad in office steal your joy

[sugar-pastries]

crazy shower thought, but i think i'm proud of the person i've become

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trying so hard to write their story but sometimes it's easier to just draw them bein cute and gay

[sugar-pastries]

so it turns out that the future has always been uncertain and apparently i have to learn how to cope with it

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i forgot that vampire the masquerade bloodlines is actually the best video game ever made. slowly going through bail bonds while listening to a commercial for a sitcom where a man's wife is reborn as an ATM is actually the most immersive experience in a game.

[sugar-pastries]

love the idea of getting angry at someone for whatever reason and using "i was raised by a single mom" somewhere in my retort. it could work no matter the context i think. only counter is another child of a single mother.

[sugar-pastries]

you ever play sims 4 in a way that makes you go why am i like this?

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this is one of the most beautiful scenes in anime and if you disagree put your dukes up bc we're throwing hands

light spoilers below!

i really love how sayaka's whole downward spiral is so reminiscent of a depressive spiral (yk like i artistically love it not that i like watching her suffer lol)

she tricks herself into thinking she can't feel pain, considers herself worthless, acts recklessly, pushes away the people who care and want to help.

also it's so interesting that she can see through homura! probably because she's so emotional and sensitive, her intuition with other people is sharper (even though she does always assume the worst of homura).

[sugar-pastries]

there's so many empty chairs in this anime

maybe it's like...symbolism or something for the absence of all the dead magical girls that died needless, horrible deaths for the energy production of some apathetic alien being

or uh, it could just be adding to the dreamlike quality every episode has

it's fun to speculate

[sugar-pastries]

beware! madoka magica spoilers below!!

part of me does wish mami's death was a little more gruesome 😅 sorry ik i'm a monster

ig it wouldn't fit since the horror is all psychological and doesn't rely on any kind of gore, but idk. the first time i saw it i didn't really believe she died until a few more episodes passed lol

her death really does tonally change the anime completely. even the ending scene changes to accommodate the new atmosphere it's created.

the show wants to fool you at first, at least lull you into a false sense of calm. mami's death is a message to the audience of what to expect moving forward.

i think that's the horrifying part of her death

[sugar-pastries]

oh no it's already april and i haven't rewatched madoka magica yet this year

time to fix that

on that note, i love the detail that homura is actively grimacing in this scene. it really tricks you into thinking she must hate madoka's guts. when really she hates that she doesn't know how to save her.

[sugar-pastries]

things are allowed to be both silly and deeply meaningful

[sugar-pastries]

to all my sims 4 modders: i love you, and you do great work to make the sims as fun as it is for me.

but i know what day it is and i'm not fucking falling for it alright

[sugar-pastries]

i entered my nintendog into the beginner disc competition bc i needed money to feed her and her sister

bro the top dog had 12 points and she got 24. and she caught all her throws in mid air. just absolutely crushed it.

bell is a menace in dog society, simply built different

this is when gaming peaked