• bai •

she/her. bailey. 22. taylor swift. criminal minds. marvel. masterlist

[sugarbutterbailey]

navigation !!!

my name is bailey, i’m 22, and i go by she/her

you can find me on wattpad/ao3 as well my user is kastlepage <3 (currently writing a grey's anatomy fic & working on an unpublished secret one as well)

currently obsessed with yellowjackets, marvel, taylor swift, and criminal minds (but when am i not)

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my masterlist !!! (its such a mess idk how to make it cutie)

i write for whoever i come up with an idea for sooooo send those requests and hopefully i can write them

if i don’t know your request i’ll let you know

seriously pls send them bc i love writing

my most recent fic: loml - steve rogers

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my inbox is open to chat and chill !! im a yapper so let's be friends

also i have a second acc called kastlepage if you wanna message me on there !!

[sugarbutterbailey]

Hey•fave swiftie albums are?? Just wondering 💭

speak now, reputation, and evermore are my top 3 <3

[sugarbutterbailey]

it’s my birthday !!!!

[kastlepage]

the worst part of thunderbolts was valentina dying bob’s hair blonde for five seconds. i was distraught !!

[kastlepage]

oh god bucky’s hair in the end credits scene of thunderbolts had me on my knees in the theater oh lord

(pics i took put under cut in case considered spoiler)

my legs are open and ready

[sugarbutterbailey]

ok so hypothetically, what if i have a nat scatorccio fic in the works ??? is anyone interested ?? i mean its gonna get posted regardless but just a show of hands

[pascaldiaries]

i need frank castle and joel miller at the same time

[sugarbutterbailey]

oh absolutely

[sugarbutterbailey]

i am once again in my frank castle/matt murdock phase and i’d love to write them but i fear i wouldn’t do them justice

[sugarbutterbailey]

i’m going to write something that is so self indulgent that literally no one will read it

[gumy-shark]

nothing scarier than being a fan of a fic and then becoming mutuals with the author. like hi shakespeare. big fan of your fake dating au

[sugarbutterbailey]

so i write one good thing and now ill like never have any idea ever again rip

[sugarbutterbailey]

loml - s. rogers

steve rogers x reader

summary: you thought he loved you, but it was so easy for him to leave you

warnings: angst !!! fluff if you squint maybe. no use of y/n

word count: 2.1k

a/n: my first song fic oooo & my first fic since 2021 be proud of me <3

~~~

you said i’m the love of your life

about a million times

“what?”

“i- i’m not coming back.”

the busy atmosphere of the coffee shop suddenly dissipated. it was as if someone turned on noise cancelling headphones. you had to set down your cup in fear of gripping it too hard. the last thing you needed was a shattered coffee cup.

you take a deep breath. “what do you mean you’re not coming back?”

“the life i shared with you was beautiful. what i did to help the world was honorable. but i can’t help but think of the life i could’ve had.” he spoke, trying to hold your hand.

“you told me i was the love of your life.”

he stayed silent. He had so much time to think this through, yet his entire plan flew out the window. steve couldn’t look you in the eyes, instead he stared just beyond your ear.

-

at dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger

and put it on the one people put wedding rings on

and that's the closest i’ve come to my heart exploding

you and steve sat at the table with his friends. they were great, really. you’d been in some relationships where your boyfriends friends straight up hated you and made it known. but with steve’s friends it was different.

it also helped that you had a mutual friend, sam. sam was your best friend, he had been since you both moved to dc around the same time. the two of you were more like family, actually, so when sam introduced you and steve you knew you could trust him.

well, he was captain america though so of course you could trust him. the three of you spent a lot of time together before you and steve decided to start dating. when steve and sam wanted to invite you to meet natasha and bucky you were excitedly nervous, but steve had told you all about them before hand to ease your nerves.

natasha asked you questions about your life and sam genuinely seemed interested in what you had to say. you were in the middle of a conversation with bucky when you felt steve fidgeting with your rings. he took your ring off your middle finger and slipped it onto your ring finger and left it there. 

you looked up at him and smiled. you’d never felt your heart beat so fast, like it was about to explode. the thought of being with him forever was everything you’ve ever wanted.

bucky looked away from you for a moment, focusing on steve’s hands switching the ring. he moved his gaze to his best friend, silently asking if he was serious. steve just smiled and laughed, ignoring him.

-

you talked me under the table

talking rings and talking cradles

i wish i could un-recall

how we almost had it all

“so what’s next?” you asked, sitting up against the headboard in your shared bed.

steve walked out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth. he sighed, pulling on a shirt. he had just gotten home from talking with natasha about the sokovian accords.

“we’re on different sides.” he spoke bluntly.

it was clear he didn’t want to speak about the subject any further, so you didn’t push. instead you hum in response and set your book to the side.

you helped him as he slid under the covers next to you. he took your hand and laced his fingers in between yours, holding you close.

“sometimes i think about leaving. taking you with me somewhere no one can find us.” steve closed his eyes, squeezing your hand tightly. “we could settle down. get married and have kids. be something other than captain america.”

you wanted this. god you wished this could happen, but you knew deep down he would never leave captain america behind. you just wished he’d see that he could be both here.

“we’d have three kids, two daughters and a son.” you smiled just thinking of what could be. “we’d name one after your mom and our son’s middle name would be james.”

steve chuckled as he wrapped his other arm around you. “we could get a dog and name him something basic like spot or teddy.”

“sounds perfect.” you laid your head on his shoulder for comfort. “i would support you no matter what. i’d go anywhere with you.”

he kissed the top of your head. “i’ll never leave you.”

you both stayed like this for a while. perfectly content laying in each other's arms. with the state of the avengers crumbling you knew you’d have less and less of these moments so you had to take advantage of every last one.

i’m combing through the braids of lies

“i’ll never leave”

“nevermind”

-

and who’s gonna hold you like me?

who’s gonna know you?

“tell me again.” you demanded, your voice terrifyingly calm.

“after the funeral, i’m going back to put the stones in their correct timelines. but i’m going back to peggy. i’m sorry.” steve leaned back in his chair, he could feel a migraine coming on.

you blinked. there’s no fucking way that who’s was actually happening, you thought. after years spent being together how could he just leave you? like you meant absolutely nothing to him.

“when did you decide to do this?” you questioned.

“when we went back to 2012. i realized it would work.” he started to explain.

you instinctively run a hand through your hair. it was a coping mechanism. you mindlessly braid and tangle your hair as you get lost in your thoughts.

steve kept talking but you couldn’t hear him. your mind was too full. your senses went into overdrive. all you could focus on was the sound of the espresso machine whirring in the background. the clinking of the cups. the chattering of other coffee shop patrons. the brightness of the sun shining into the building. 

how could the sun be shining right now? you wished it was raining to reflect on how you were feeling. you were having the worst conversation of your life and all you could think about was how happy it looked outside.

you snapped back into the conversation when you heard him say something about how your relationship had stalled during the blip.

you interrupted him. “absolutely not. you pushed me away but i still stayed. i told you i would stay by your side no matter what and i did. do not blame this on me.”

“i’m sorry i have to go.” steve repeated.

you watched as the man stood up from the table and left you there to your thoughts. it felt like everyone was staring at you, like they heard your conversation. but the reality was, no one paid any mind to you, instead they were all catching up with their loved ones as yours left you in the coffee shop.

-

but you’re in self-sabotage mode

throwing spikes down on the road 

the funeral was beautiful but unsettling. normally you’d be standing next to steve but instead opted to stand with peter parker and his aunt. you hadn’t seen him since he left you and you hadn’t told anyone what happened. you felt like at any moment you might breakdown.

thankfully you were at a funeral and could blame your emotions on tony, although that seems disrespectful. after the service, you briskly walked to your car, trying to avoid any confrontation. obviously, knowing your friends, sam had cornered you before you could even get past the house.

“what’s gotten into you? why’d you stand with parker?” your best friend asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“sam, i need to go. i’ll talk to you later.” you whispered, trying to push past him.

there’s no way you thought that would work, but still you tried. 

“what happened?” he lowered his voice.

you knew you were going to have to tell him at some point, or you were sure steve would’ve told him his plan.

“he didn’t tell you? you’re his best friend and he didn’t tell you he was leaving all of us to go back to her?” 

sam looked at you, shocked. no, steve didn’t tell him. you glanced over your shoulder at steve talking to bucky, the former had a stern expression on his face.

“looks like he’s telling bucky right now.” you said, shrugging your shoulders.

sam wrapped his arms around you tightly. he whispered his thoughts to you as you tried not to cry. 

“it’s all my fault. i introduced you to him, he never would’ve hurt you.” he apologized, but you stopped him.

you broke away from the hug and looked him in the eyes. “no, you don’t get to blame yourself. no one could’ve seen this coming. you’re my best friend, and that will never change.”

he let out a sigh of relief. you notice his eyes flicker from you to the two men far behind you. you turn to look behind you to see steve gesturing for sam to follow him.

“go, it’s fine. i’m going home.” you said, smoothing your outfit down.

“come with me. i know you don’t want to talk to him, so you don’t have to. just come with to let me say goodbye and then we can stay in and order take out, ok?” sam asked, well pleaded.

sam held out his hand for you to take. you hesitantly took it, the two of you walking toward bucky and steve. you stopped walking when you neared the group.

“i’m gonna wait here, ok? just let me know when you’re done.” you smiled weakly, taking a seat on a bench facing the water.

you tried to ignore what was happening behind you, but it was difficult. you wondered what was going on inside his head right now. was he thinking about the way he was going to find her? his future life with her?

“how long is this gonna take?” you heard sam ask bruce.

“for him, as long as he needs. for us, about five seconds.” bruce responded.

you held your breath. this was actually happening. he was leaving. some small part of you agreed to staying because you thought he wouldn’t do it. there’s no way. 

“going quantum. in three, two, one.” you heard banner countdown.

and just like that, he was gone.

-

oh, what a valiant roar

what a bland goodbye

you closed your eyes and pulled your knees to your chest. you knew if you opened your eyes you’d start to cry. but you refuse to cry over someone who left you to start over with someone else.

you sniffled softly, listening to the sound of the lake. you loved the way the water smelled. the wind blowing swiftly through your hair. 

“it’s beautiful out here isn’t it.” you heard a voice say.

you opened your eyes suddenly and looked around, spotting someone who wasn’t there before.

“steve?” you questioned.

this wasn’t the same man you once loved. this was a man who’d lived a full life. he was older, his hair white, his eyes content.

“what are you doing here? i thought you left.”

he turned his body towards you. “i did. i lived a long life with peggy. i wanted to grow old with someone, and i have.”

you teared up again. it’s obvious he looked happy and you were torn on how to feel once more. 

“i’m sorry i couldn't love you enough.” he mumbled, running a hand over his face.

you stood up from the bench and turned your back to him. “i loved you. i cherished you. i risked my life time and time again just for you. you knew more about me than my best friend and i regret that. i wanted to get married and have children with you so i waited until you were ready. well now i know you were ready, you just didn’t want it all with me. i’m sorry steve, but i dont think i could ever forgive you.”

“i’m sorry.” he whispered, reaching for your hand.

you turned around to take one last look at him. you memorized every new detail about him. this was the closure you needed to try to forget him. 

finally, you walked away. you left sam with bucky, letting him say his final goodbyes to steve. your dress swayed in the wind as you briskly walk to sam’s car. you felt awful ignoring the calls from your friends but you knew you needed to be alone for just a minute to reflect.

you got into his car, shut the door, and finally let the tears flow.

and i’ll still see it until i die

you’re the loss of my life

[sugarbutterbailey]

reblogging bc i fear i'll never be able to top this

[sugarbutterbailey]

i actually posted for the first time in forever !!!!

[sugarbutterbailey]

loml - s. rogers

steve rogers x reader

summary: you thought he loved you, but it was so easy for him to leave you

warnings: angst !!! fluff if you squint maybe. no use of y/n

word count: 2.1k

a/n: my first song fic oooo & my first fic since 2021 be proud of me <3

~~~

you said i’m the love of your life

about a million times

“what?”

“i- i’m not coming back.”

the busy atmosphere of the coffee shop suddenly dissipated. it was as if someone turned on noise cancelling headphones. you had to set down your cup in fear of gripping it too hard. the last thing you needed was a shattered coffee cup.

you take a deep breath. “what do you mean you’re not coming back?”

“the life i shared with you was beautiful. what i did to help the world was honorable. but i can’t help but think of the life i could’ve had.” he spoke, trying to hold your hand.

“you told me i was the love of your life.”

he stayed silent. He had so much time to think this through, yet his entire plan flew out the window. steve couldn’t look you in the eyes, instead he stared just beyond your ear.

-

at dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger

and put it on the one people put wedding rings on

and that's the closest i’ve come to my heart exploding

you and steve sat at the table with his friends. they were great, really. you’d been in some relationships where your boyfriends friends straight up hated you and made it known. but with steve’s friends it was different.

it also helped that you had a mutual friend, sam. sam was your best friend, he had been since you both moved to dc around the same time. the two of you were more like family, actually, so when sam introduced you and steve you knew you could trust him.

well, he was captain america though so of course you could trust him. the three of you spent a lot of time together before you and steve decided to start dating. when steve and sam wanted to invite you to meet natasha and bucky you were excitedly nervous, but steve had told you all about them before hand to ease your nerves.

natasha asked you questions about your life and sam genuinely seemed interested in what you had to say. you were in the middle of a conversation with bucky when you felt steve fidgeting with your rings. he took your ring off your middle finger and slipped it onto your ring finger and left it there. 

you looked up at him and smiled. you’d never felt your heart beat so fast, like it was about to explode. the thought of being with him forever was everything you’ve ever wanted.

bucky looked away from you for a moment, focusing on steve’s hands switching the ring. he moved his gaze to his best friend, silently asking if he was serious. steve just smiled and laughed, ignoring him.

-

you talked me under the table

talking rings and talking cradles

i wish i could un-recall

how we almost had it all

“so what’s next?” you asked, sitting up against the headboard in your shared bed.

steve walked out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth. he sighed, pulling on a shirt. he had just gotten home from talking with natasha about the sokovian accords.

“we’re on different sides.” he spoke bluntly.

it was clear he didn’t want to speak about the subject any further, so you didn’t push. instead you hum in response and set your book to the side.

you helped him as he slid under the covers next to you. he took your hand and laced his fingers in between yours, holding you close.

“sometimes i think about leaving. taking you with me somewhere no one can find us.” steve closed his eyes, squeezing your hand tightly. “we could settle down. get married and have kids. be something other than captain america.”

you wanted this. god you wished this could happen, but you knew deep down he would never leave captain america behind. you just wished he’d see that he could be both here.

“we’d have three kids, two daughters and a son.” you smiled just thinking of what could be. “we’d name one after your mom and our son’s middle name would be james.”

steve chuckled as he wrapped his other arm around you. “we could get a dog and name him something basic like spot or teddy.”

“sounds perfect.” you laid your head on his shoulder for comfort. “i would support you no matter what. i’d go anywhere with you.”

he kissed the top of your head. “i’ll never leave you.”

you both stayed like this for a while. perfectly content laying in each other's arms. with the state of the avengers crumbling you knew you’d have less and less of these moments so you had to take advantage of every last one.

i’m combing through the braids of lies

“i’ll never leave”

“nevermind”

-

and who’s gonna hold you like me?

who’s gonna know you?

“tell me again.” you demanded, your voice terrifyingly calm.

“after the funeral, i’m going back to put the stones in their correct timelines. but i’m going back to peggy. i’m sorry.” steve leaned back in his chair, he could feel a migraine coming on.

you blinked. there’s no fucking way that who’s was actually happening, you thought. after years spent being together how could he just leave you? like you meant absolutely nothing to him.

“when did you decide to do this?” you questioned.

“when we went back to 2012. i realized it would work.” he started to explain.

you instinctively run a hand through your hair. it was a coping mechanism. you mindlessly braid and tangle your hair as you get lost in your thoughts.

steve kept talking but you couldn’t hear him. your mind was too full. your senses went into overdrive. all you could focus on was the sound of the espresso machine whirring in the background. the clinking of the cups. the chattering of other coffee shop patrons. the brightness of the sun shining into the building. 

how could the sun be shining right now? you wished it was raining to reflect on how you were feeling. you were having the worst conversation of your life and all you could think about was how happy it looked outside.

you snapped back into the conversation when you heard him say something about how your relationship had stalled during the blip.

you interrupted him. “absolutely not. you pushed me away but i still stayed. i told you i would stay by your side no matter what and i did. do not blame this on me.”

“i’m sorry i have to go.” steve repeated.

you watched as the man stood up from the table and left you there to your thoughts. it felt like everyone was staring at you, like they heard your conversation. but the reality was, no one paid any mind to you, instead they were all catching up with their loved ones as yours left you in the coffee shop.

-

but you’re in self-sabotage mode

throwing spikes down on the road 

the funeral was beautiful but unsettling. normally you’d be standing next to steve but instead opted to stand with peter parker and his aunt. you hadn’t seen him since he left you and you hadn’t told anyone what happened. you felt like at any moment you might breakdown.

thankfully you were at a funeral and could blame your emotions on tony, although that seems disrespectful. after the service, you briskly walked to your car, trying to avoid any confrontation. obviously, knowing your friends, sam had cornered you before you could even get past the house.

“what’s gotten into you? why’d you stand with parker?” your best friend asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

“sam, i need to go. i’ll talk to you later.” you whispered, trying to push past him.

there’s no way you thought that would work, but still you tried. 

“what happened?” he lowered his voice.

you knew you were going to have to tell him at some point, or you were sure steve would’ve told him his plan.

“he didn’t tell you? you’re his best friend and he didn’t tell you he was leaving all of us to go back to her?” 

sam looked at you, shocked. no, steve didn’t tell him. you glanced over your shoulder at steve talking to bucky, the former had a stern expression on his face.

“looks like he’s telling bucky right now.” you said, shrugging your shoulders.

sam wrapped his arms around you tightly. he whispered his thoughts to you as you tried not to cry. 

“it’s all my fault. i introduced you to him, he never would’ve hurt you.” he apologized, but you stopped him.

you broke away from the hug and looked him in the eyes. “no, you don’t get to blame yourself. no one could’ve seen this coming. you’re my best friend, and that will never change.”

he let out a sigh of relief. you notice his eyes flicker from you to the two men far behind you. you turn to look behind you to see steve gesturing for sam to follow him.

“go, it’s fine. i’m going home.” you said, smoothing your outfit down.

“come with me. i know you don’t want to talk to him, so you don’t have to. just come with to let me say goodbye and then we can stay in and order take out, ok?” sam asked, well pleaded.

sam held out his hand for you to take. you hesitantly took it, the two of you walking toward bucky and steve. you stopped walking when you neared the group.

“i’m gonna wait here, ok? just let me know when you’re done.” you smiled weakly, taking a seat on a bench facing the water.

you tried to ignore what was happening behind you, but it was difficult. you wondered what was going on inside his head right now. was he thinking about the way he was going to find her? his future life with her?

“how long is this gonna take?” you heard sam ask bruce.

“for him, as long as he needs. for us, about five seconds.” bruce responded.

you held your breath. this was actually happening. he was leaving. some small part of you agreed to staying because you thought he wouldn’t do it. there’s no way. 

“going quantum. in three, two, one.” you heard banner countdown.

and just like that, he was gone.

-

oh, what a valiant roar

what a bland goodbye

you closed your eyes and pulled your knees to your chest. you knew if you opened your eyes you’d start to cry. but you refuse to cry over someone who left you to start over with someone else.

you sniffled softly, listening to the sound of the lake. you loved the way the water smelled. the wind blowing swiftly through your hair. 

“it’s beautiful out here isn’t it.” you heard a voice say.

you opened your eyes suddenly and looked around, spotting someone who wasn’t there before.

“steve?” you questioned.

this wasn’t the same man you once loved. this was a man who’d lived a full life. he was older, his hair white, his eyes content.

“what are you doing here? i thought you left.”

he turned his body towards you. “i did. i lived a long life with peggy. i wanted to grow old with someone, and i have.”

you teared up again. it’s obvious he looked happy and you were torn on how to feel once more. 

“i’m sorry i couldn't love you enough.” he mumbled, running a hand over his face.

you stood up from the bench and turned your back to him. “i loved you. i cherished you. i risked my life time and time again just for you. you knew more about me than my best friend and i regret that. i wanted to get married and have children with you so i waited until you were ready. well now i know you were ready, you just didn’t want it all with me. i’m sorry steve, but i dont think i could ever forgive you.”

“i’m sorry.” he whispered, reaching for your hand.

you turned around to take one last look at him. you memorized every new detail about him. this was the closure you needed to try to forget him. 

finally, you walked away. you left sam with bucky, letting him say his final goodbyes to steve. your dress swayed in the wind as you briskly walk to sam’s car. you felt awful ignoring the calls from your friends but you knew you needed to be alone for just a minute to reflect.

you got into his car, shut the door, and finally let the tears flow.

and i’ll still see it until i die

you’re the loss of my life

[sugarbutterbailey]

guys i finished a fic for the first time in like 2 years what the fuck ??? anyway it’s a steve rogers angst. i’m actually gonna post it this time i swear

[sugarbutterbailey]

how early is too early to post a christmas themed fic ??? (for my love aaron hotchner)

[sugarbutterbailey]

currently writing an aaron hotchner fic maybe i’ll post maybe ill cry who knows