❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
if i look back, i am lost
oozey mess
noise dept.
Xuebing Du
tannertan36
h
Keni
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
blake kathryn
No title available
tumblr dot com
Not today Justin
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Jules of Nature
ellievsbear
izzy's playlists!
trying on a metaphor
hello vonnie
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@sugarcoatednightshade
Call me Shade. 22. Bi. She/it. Prelaw. I’d say my best quality is my willingness to try new things and my worst quality is my inability to finish them.
pfp done by the wonderful @cheaphalloweencostume
Header is the heart of galaxy M77, via NASA
ao3: Murder_and_Chill
DP sideblog: @theghostkingisdead
shade speaks is my talk tag if for some reason you want to hear my 3am depression rambles
If you ever need some good news, search the humanity tag for feel-good reblogs
We used paper cutouts glued to toothpicks and stabbed into erasers, but I like this idea better.
For a college game, I used an entire box of candy canes as a size colossal monstrous zombie grasshopper, and then when it died I ripped the box open and used the candy canes as size large monstrous parasitic horsehair worms erupting from its corpse. Nobody actually wanted to eat them after that so I took them home and ground them into a powder with a pestle, intending to add it to my hot cocoas. But I didn’t wash the pestle very well last time after using it to crush garlic and chilis, so I accidentally made chili-garlic-mint powder and then I tried serving that cocoa at a later D&D sesh, and we were all baffled at why it tasted so horrible until I was like oh my god it’s the ground up zombie ass worms. I contaminated them with garlic and chilis. And the group was like YOU GROUND UP THE ZOMBIE ASS WORMS AND FED THEM TO US which seemed like a lot of fuss over what would have otherwise been free and delicious cocoa. Then after that before taking any snacks they’d ask did you perchance put any zombie ass chili-garlic worm powder in this?, and then refuse to eat until I said None.
Which they thought was very funny, even if I was slightly less amused, but I bided my time until they got tired of the joke and stopped specifically asking. Then I poured all the remaining zombie ass chili-garlic worm powder into a bag of party mix. The first guy to take a bite spluttered, and I laughed, and everyone said WHAT DID BABS DO, and I said THE WOOOORMS… YOU FORGOT TO ASK… OHMYGOD… and then I laughed so hard I actually cried. Derailed the start time almost an hour.
Oh that was a wonderful day.
A good, a neutral, and an evil DM. In this order.
I wonder how aliens will react to our communal grooming instinct? Like when you see something stuck to your homie’s clothes/skin/hair and it’s driving you nuts and you just gotta be like “hold still, lemme get that for you real quick.”
One time when I was a kid, I had a science teacher with a snake as a class pet, and said snake was almost done shedding. There was one little bit of dried skin stuck to its face and I was like, “would it hurt him if I pulled that off?” And the teacher said, “yes it actually could, it’s probably still attached to living skin if it hasn’t come off yet” and I was like “oh, sorry,” and he said, “that’s okay, you were just wanting to do the primate thing.” And damn, that’s such an accurate descriptor.
Anyways I hope aliens don’t mind me/my descendants having the urge to pluck stuff off of them. If they ask, we’ll have to tell them it’s a trait we evolved to survive ticks.
Princess Donut singing "Dungeon Crawl" (dedicated to Mongo)
It is criminal that this is audible locked
My jaw DROPPED this is incredible
we all know adult humans dont get enough enrichment but the other day i was walkin home past an empty playground and impulsively ran over to spin myself on this zipline merry-go-round contraption for a few minutes and it really did feel like it unlocked some neglected part of my brain. like damn we really should all go outside and play more. fuck. they werent kidding with this play time thing. have you guys heard about play time. it could be huge.
if your disability came from something you did voluntarily, like driving a car, or having sex, or doing BMX stunts, then guess what???
you deserve respect. you deserve to have your needs met. you deserve to live
only if you can fulfill your needs without infringing others' property
[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]
(Trying to flirt) yeah I got a gf but we’re not monogamous (remembers people judge you for being polyamorous) we’re polygamists (remembers people don’t like Mormons) but I’m an atheist (remembers people don’t like cultural appropriation) but I’m a descendent of a Mormon prophet (remembers that he sucked) but I renounce him and think he got what he deserved when he got murdered (remembers to show interest in the other person) do you like me
it's very funny to me that the advice in the notes divides cleanly into two camps:
Actually actionable advice (break it down into smaller pieces, leave and come back later, find somebody to do it with you so you aren't doing it alone)
People who are Jared, 19 and just say something that's fundamentally a variation on "just do it scared"
Warning: advice that "you have to leave your comfort zone to grow" is meant for people who are IN their comfort zone the majority of the time. If you rarely/never feel comfortable and safe, you actually need to get more comfortable and safe before you can grow 👍
Help me decide which Penelope you prefer
Brunette
with Albinism
partially-managed mental illness is so fucking funny i'll be sitting around doing my job and suddenly think "wow i hate myself" and immediately get confused because, like, that's not TRUE! i love myself so much. who are you to talk to me like that
^ its like this
Do yourselves a massive favor: practice asking for help BEFORE it's an emergency.
I am a social worker. I have worked in community mental health and in home-based healthcare. And it is much, much easier for me to help you when the situation you're in is not yet a full-blown crisis.
"I'm out of money and have been for a while and now I haven't eaten for three days." This is a crisis. A crisis where I'm likely going to have to put you in the car and take you to the nearest food bank--except food banks require appointments now, and the next opening is in four days, so you're staring down the barrel of a week with no food. That's obviously not going to work, so, let's call eight different food banks until we've found one that has an appointment the next day...except it's in the neighboring county and you can't drive. So now I'm calling your doctor to try and brow beat an emergency plan of care update out of him so I can come back the next day and drive you to the food bank. And we haven't even started on the "constantly broke" part of the problem.
"I don't think I have enough food to make it to my next paycheck. I have (xyz) in my house and that will only last until (date)." This is bad, but not a crisis. We have a few days. We make you an appointment at the food bank and contact your brother to make sure you have a ride there. Now we can spend our visit talking about what bills are causing you the most problems and make a jump on a long-term solution, like looping in a community action agency to cover your utilities and getting you an OTC card from Medicaid to cover some of your groceries every month.
"I'm ten months behind on rent, and my landlord said I have a week to get out, or the cops will throw me out. I don't have the money, and if I get evicted, I have nowhere to go." This is a crisis. Every single thing we do here is going to be some version of a Hail Mary. In Michigan, we have the state emergency relief fund for rent issues, but process time is well over one week. There are community action agencies that we can call to assist you with payment, but they are unlikely to have sufficient funds to cover nearly a year of back rent. We can contact legal aid clinics to try and prevent your landlord from evicting you, but they may look at your case and determine that too much "fault" lies with you. Most likely, I'm going to have to put you in touch with homeless shelters and the public housing office.
"I'm two months behind on rent and I don't think I'll be able to pay next month either." This is bad, but not a crisis. This is solvable. We have time to apply for SER, or put you in contact with community action agencies. We have time to review your finances and see if you qualify for a public housing wait list or other forms of ongoing rental assistance. We have time to talk about a million possible adjustments to try and ease the burden of your rent.
"I am the sole caregiver for my elderly parent who has dementia and is emotionally volatile and fully dependent on me. I have not slept through the night in weeks and I have not had an actual break for over a year. I am having screaming meltdowns multiple times a week and I am threatening self-harm unless someone comes to collect my parent and take over all caregiver duties." This is a crisis. This is a crisis where the ethical code of my profession demands that I call 911 and report the conversation to them. They will likely come to the house and interview you. If they determine your threats were serious, they will have you forcibly committed to a psych ward. Your parent will either be dumped into a random hospital or rehab center, or left in the house on their own. Upon release from your psych hold, you will be expected to resume caregiving duties as though nothing happened. Except, now, adult protective services is actively investigating you, because it was determined you may be an ongoing danger to your parent.
"I am the sole caregiver for my demented parent, and I have not had a break in a couple of weeks, and I feel angry and weepy most of the time." This is bad, but not a crisis. We can get you in touch with volunteer groups for respite, and apply for state funded programs to get more day-to-day help, and talk about long-term planning for when the dementia symptoms get worse. We can get you the phone numbers for crisis lines and enroll you in a support group.
Obviously, you can ask for help at any point. Don't use this an excuse to never ask for help. If you always wait until it's a crisis, fine, you have free will. But you are ALLOWED to ask for help BEFORE you're in a blind panic, and it is always easier to get help when you aren't screaming and sobbing because you think your life is over.
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?
I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.
Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.
The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.
Experts* have determined that if elected, in theory he would have to remove the bin in order to participate in parliamentary votes.
*a bunch of randos on discord
Fwiw this is reportedly the precedent set in the 80s:
"Imagine," says the voice, "that you were underneath a blanket. It's a little small, so your feet poke out from underneath it, and your arms come out from either side."
"Okay," says the human, dangling upside down, suspended by a group of tentacles. "I got it."
"Right," says the voice, which comes from everywhere and nowhere. "Now consider a cat. The cat thinks you're kind of like a cat, but you're so big, he has some problems understanding that all of your body is really you."
"Am I the-"
"Yes. Now listen. Especially under the blanket, the cat doesn't really know where your body begins and ends. He sees your feet, and decides to attack them. He's only play-fighting, but his claws are real sharp, so it hurts. What would you do?"
"Well," says the human, gently spinning in the tentacle's grasp, "I'd try to tuck my feet under the blanket."
"Ah, but then it's even worse," claims the voice, triumphantly, "because now your cat sees Blanket Monsters and attacks them twice as hard."
"So you have to grab the cat."
"It's either that or burrito her," says the voice, squeezing the human in the grip of its tentacles. "And since in this metaphor the blanket represents the fabric of reality as you know it, I don't think you'd find it very pleasant."
"Fair enough," says the human, blood beginning to pool in her head. "Can you please put me down, now? I promise I won't attack you again."
"That's what the cat says every time, too, and yet..."
so thinking about this, i am reminded of graystoke, the smartest cat by far that i ever had.
graystoke hated feet and frequently attacked them.
and one day, when he was probably ten or so, he attacked my feet, and i said ow, and he suddenly stared at me with this look of absolute horror. and he did not attack feet again.
I don't understand how this is even a defence in the age of drone warfare.
Or even like... Cannon warfare.
Yeah, the Ottomans could have taken this in the fourteenth century.
Yeah, the Ottomans
could have taken this in the
fourteenth century.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
#ok but this wouldve popped off in the age of zombie doomsday prepping
ngl it would be a fantastic larp location.
#why do people think shipping containers are the cure to every issue????#unless youre filling them with sand theyre not bulletproof#and theres no fucken roof
Fill the shipping containers with concrete to make Giant Bricks
I think even “cannon warfare” is giving it too much credit. These ain’t exactly the Theodosian Walls; I can’t imagine this compound standing up to really any degree of siege warfare — it really is more in the “zombie prepper” tradition.
The reason for that, I would wager, is that the contingent of right-wing USAmericans who think like this aren’t REALLY concerned about any kind of organized military force so much as they want to keep The Poors away from their stuff — in the propaganda they imbibe, homeless people, refugees, etc. are portrayed in a manner not dissimilar to shambling zombie hordes. So there’s going to be overlap between zombie prepping & manifestations of right-wing paranoia.
Though, also, given the cultural milieu from which this originates, how certain can we be that the person putting walls & guard towers around their rural compound is doing so to keep people OUT?
Ferret shows the owner her babies.
I’m straight up CRYING
The person who commented “sounds like a bunch of kazoos having a panic attack” made me laugh out loud :D
“it is YOUR turn to watch them. what, no, you don’t need to pick them up what are you doing, just- no get BACK here i said it’s your TURN”
Is anyone else just supremely frustrated with this owner for not fucking LISTENING or am I the only one that can feel the palpable frustration of this poor ferret trying to communicate to this stupid human they need to watch the babies?
I'm gonna be honest for a second. I cant believe people still care about Taylor swift.
This CANNOT be left in the tags you came with RECEIPTS
Sorry, @akinari-kashihara , she invited who the fuck to her wedding??
Hi sorry
The contractor's company is responsible for running ICE's largest detention centre.
She is a billionaire who does not give a FUCK about you or anyone else on this planet but herself. And her music is not and has never been that good.
She has the kind of power and influence that could fix real problems in the world. Instead, she's just building circuses to keep you distracted from it all.
